The last time that the people saw Princess Marie was at the funeral of her mother and father. Many watched as the young girl placed a wreath over each of her parents’ caskets. Since that day, the Princess was never seen again in public. Very few people knew of the young lady, always in simple pastel dresses and a matching veil covering her head, who occasionally left the palace. Only those who lived close to the palace saw her coming and going from the palace to the church.
Many rumours flew around the country as to why the once troublesome girl had become such a recluse. Others said that the accident which took the King and Queen’s lives had left Marie marked beyond recognition hence the veil seven years after the event. Many others barely remembered what she looked like. Her appearance was a matter of much discussion and her mannerisms even more so. The latter was blamed on being raised by her older brother, the King, who indulged her in all things, or rather failed to enforce the appropriate behaviour required of a young lady.
“Do you think she’ll ever take off that veil?”
“What does it matter? Soon, she will enter the church and never leave.”
“Aren’t you a little bit curious what she looks like?”
“I heard Prince Wilhelm will be coming to court her.”
One of the women laughed. “I hope she will have taken her vows by then.”
Marie ignored the voices just as she had many times before. So many wondered what she looked like after the accident and what truly happened. Her veils and scarves were like armour. None of them ever asked her personally, afraid to wound her pride. But that did not stop them from gossiping. There was a wound in her heart that would never heal but with each day that has gone by since, she had learnt to live with the pain. The shield was for her brothers. The talking behind her back made them want to protect her more and for that she was grateful. Marie was unsure she would know what to say if her brothers made her walk through step by step of what happened that horrible day. At least they had accepted her mother’s account and never brought up the matter again.
Acting oblivious to those around her, like she had done many times, Marie moved along the long aisle that she had become so accustomed to like the halls of the palace. Princess Giselle Marié sat at that altar and her mother’s final words replayed at the back of her mind. You are the hope of our family. Even when Marie didn’t feel like getting out of bed, she dragged herself and came, knowing that there was someone always watching. She couldn’t say how much good she had done in the last seven years but she had tried.
“When you were at the bottom of that river and I couldn’t see or hear you, I prayed to God and promised him that if he returned you to me, you would be a living sacrifice for his people.”
That day defined every moment of Marie’s life. While her brothers and Nanny were against Marie devoting her life to God, the church was the only place her existence didn’t feel mundane and the guilt of surviving or leaving her father behind could be forgotten, if only for a little while. She prayed for several hours, weeping sorrowfully. It was the only place where it seemed she could mourn her mother and father.
Do you blame me for going along with mother’s plan? Are you lonely? No matter how many times Marié asked herself that question, she never got a satisfactory answer. Kings were not meant to be buried in unmarked graves. She lied to her brothers and they in turn lied to the people. No one knew that the King’s coffin was empty seven years ago— only his children. It was one thing if the Queen had lived, but the burden of carrying that secret alone weighed Marié down.
Princess Marié stood and exited the church through the back door. The door led to a courtyard where small kids of varying ages gathered — orphans of men and women that the King had killed. Despite the hatred reverberating through her veins for actions that happened that night, Charles was no angel and had done exactly what their mother thought he would do. The officials whispered exaggerated stories of the rebels in his ears and instead of questioning them, her brother locked himself further away from the people. After seeing children crying from hunger and the cold, Marié understood how such a person could be driven to kill.
“My lady,” a small girl said, running towards Marié. Her tiny hands wrapped around Marié’s long skirts. “What did you bring me today?”
Marié bent down and stretched her hand behind her where her chaperone was. The older woman stepped forward smiling and gave Marié the picnic basket. “Have you been good?”
The small child, with brunette hair that had not seen a pair of scissors in quite some time, nodded. She was dressed in boy’s clothes but she was clean. The children at the church wore whatever was available. “I woke up on time today, read my book and I didn’t fight when Claude pulled my hair.”
Marié momentarily pulled away the vein so the girl could look into her eyes. Marié smiled. “You have been very good. Share this with the others.”
The small girl threw her arms around Marié’s neck.“Thank you, my lady.”
The young girl took the basket, gathering all the other children to share in the gift. Nanny stood close to Marié watching the children. “I hate that I will see you have one of your own.”
Marié stood up and let the veil cover her face. “You’d think after all these years you would have made peace with my decisions.”
Nanny crossed her arms against her chest. “It is a stupid decision.”
Arguing with Nanny was pointless as Marié was guaranteed to lose. The woman raised her and had been a close attendant of the Queen. Marié shrugged. “I have an appointment with Sister Ines. You may choose to come if you wish.”
“I have no desire to see you give up your life. I would much rather stay and watch the children play.”
Marié sighed. “I won’t be long.”
Sister Ines was in one of the offices at the back of the church. There were no signs of any grandiose. In the last seven years, Marié had observed the church take all their donations to either run the church, feed and clothe the orphans, medicine when they are sick or buy them books. At first, she had her suspicions but Marié gave up on those to protect the children. One thing remained clear: her brother was willing to kill anyone who dared question him and the rebels stole and killed the nobles when they felt like it. The children were the ones who suffered in the struggle for who was right and wrong. Marié didn’t care for either side.
“Princess,” Sister Ines uttered. She briefly stood and respectfully bowed her head to Marié.
“I bring news,” Marié said. “My brother has sent out spies in an attempt to catch the rebels. Tell them to be careful and refrain from attacking the nobles in the coming weeks if they can help it.”
Sister Ines frowned. “Did you wrestle with telling me this information?”
“I am sick of the bloodshed but neither side seems to be stopping.” The older woman assessed Marié, saying nothing. Marié frowned. “I am tired of the lies.”
“Why don’t you take a seat?” Sister Ines offered, pointing at the wooden chair across the table from her. Marié pulled out the chair and sat down. “Is there anything you wish to tell me?”
“I would like to take my vows. At times I feel torn by a world I live in but no longer part of it. I looked at the money my family spends for unnecessary celebrations that could have been used to help so many of our poor and I understand why the rebels do what they do. Then I hear stories of them killing noblemen that I knew as a child and I feel as though I drove the knife into their hearts.”
“You cannot blame yourself.”
“I helped them escape my brother.”
“And now?” Sister Ines asked. “Do you wish to stop? You can stop whenever you like. You have given those children so much already.”
Marié smiled. “Phrasing it that way makes it easier to digest. In life, there are checks and balances. As awful as it is, my brother and his officials need someone to remind them that they are being watched and the people are not afraid.”
***
By the time the Princess returned to the palace, it was dark outside. That evening, she cautiously stared at the unfamiliar carriage. The golden arches and the strange crest on the side caught Marié off guard. She paid little attention to the ongoings of the palace but she was not so ignorant that she wouldn’t recognise the crest of a peer of her kingdom. But that one, she did not recognise.
"Nanny," she said, turning to her chaperone. “Are we expecting guests?"
The woman who had been at her side since she could barely tie her shoelaces glanced at the black carriage. Guests came and left the palace just as quickly but no one used the back entrance except those in the family. Nanny was old and often forgot the days of the week. Lines formed on her forehead and then relaxed as she snapped her thumb and middle finger.
"Ah yes, your betrothed's arrival was announced a few weeks back. I believe he is to live at the palace while he is focusing on his education — something about an interest in philosophy and admiration for our architecture."
"Oh goodness gracious, Nanny! I truly wish you wouldn't call him that. My path has already been decided."
"You are too young to know that you want to spend the rest of your life at the monastery." Nanny made no secret about her dislike for Marie giving up her entire life before she had even lived.
"And how did you know that you wished to be married? It is the same for me.” Marié let out a disarming smile."I will not be leaving my chambers for the rest of the evening. Have a pleasant evening, Nanny."
She reached up and gave the old woman a light kiss on the cheek. Princess Marié adjusted her veil, following the lit path to her room.
Her ladies maids were quick to prepare her bath and readied her for bed. They brought dinner into her room anyway even though she had always denied herself. Her wardrobe was filled with lovely gowns which she often gave away without a second thought. It was a surprise that her brother was still so patient with her. There was not much that she didn't give away to strangers. Her brothers were convinced she would give away the clothes on her back if she could.
Ever since the accident which left Marie as the sole survivor and took their parents' lives, her brothers accepted her turning to God as a process of healing. Her eldest brother hoped it was a phase she would grow out of and each year, she seemed to be getting deeper and deeper into the church. He delayed her taking her vows as much as he could. He could no longer tell her that she was too young or too impulsive. He did often remind her that she was not thinking for the good of the kingdom but Marié couldn't think of a better service to the kingdom and God.
"Marie," Prince Lucien called from outside her room. "Are you asleep?"
"No, brother. Please come in," she said, setting aside the book that she had been reading.
Prince Lucien bust through the doors, excitement ringing through his whole body. "You will never guess who is to live with us indefinitely."
Princess Marie groaned. It was unlike her to take a dislike to someone before she had met them. She had heard all that she needed to hear about Prince Wilhelm. When her mother passed, letters from his mother were a great comfort. Every few months, the Queen sent a letter filled with words of kindness. Marié couldn’t bring herself to write back but she was sure one of her lady’s maids would have replied. As for the woman’s son, they had never spoken and she had no plans of starting now. "This will not dissuade me from taking my vows."
Lucien, a golden Prince before in hair and mannerisms. Once upon a time, they had been a pair. For so long now, he has been reaching and searching for a sister who left him long ago. He stood tall in his riding gear and his excitement dulled. “Your betrothed. Who told you?”
"I saw the carriage sitting out front when I returned."
"The King seems excited by the arrival. I do not think you will be able to convince him to let you take your vows while the Crown Prince is here."
"I did not decide this on a whim and will not be changing my mind for something pretty and shiny, no matter what our brother decides. If I was going to do that, I would have accepted one of his courtiers.”
Prince Lucien sat at the foot of the bed. "If you want him to give up on the idea of you becoming Queen then you will have to give him something in return."
"What am I supposed to give him?" Princess Marie sighed. "Maman made a promise to God and he swore to keep it. You can not toy with the almighty or there will be grave consequences."
Prince Lucien took his sister's hands in his own, calming her down. "He is not bad looking, your Prince.The palace maids all giggle in his presence, perhaps you might also be moved."
Marié rolled her eyes. She had never been one to live her life purely based on the desires of her eyes. Nanny would have argued that she had not lived at all. But she had. Enough to know that all royal courts were the same — it lived to serve the ambitions of men who only served themselves. "I am sure."
Prince Lucien smiled at his baby sister. "The King just wants to make sure that you have considered all possibilities."
"Why would he want this for me? The Crown Prince practices debauchery and I am sure that he has never walked a mile in the shoes of his poorest servant. I will never have anything in common with such a man!"
"And why would you want to have anything in common with him? You'll be entrying the monastery soon enough." Prince Lucien teased.
Her ocean blue eyes grew fiery and her brother knew that he had pushed too far as the hidden temper reared its ugly head. She sighed and it vanished. Princess Marié picked up her book, sulking.
"Most men of some wealth do all those things at least once, if it's any consolation." Prince Lucien let out an amused laugh and kissed her cheek. "Sleep well, sister."
He knew as well as they both did that she wouldn't sleep until their oldest brother promised her a date to leave the palace and enter the monastery. That night, she thought about everything that she knew about the Crown Prince and found that she knew nothing. The only memories of his family she had was that her mother had been against the union despite her father looking at it favourably. His father had a reputation for being harsh, to which her father had interjected as strength.
But Marié knew better, a man was only worth the treatment of his lowest servant. Her own brother had little regard for his power, despite every intervention that she attempted to bring to his attention. The words she got in return were: "I am still a new king, Marié. There is much that you and I still don't understand." , "You have Misunderstood the situation, Marié" to "They are delinquents and criminals. The country's resources have better use than them."
As her eyes shut, she felt complicit to the suffering of her own people. The world cannot be changed in one day, the late Queen's words settled at the back of her mind. It saddened her that the people with all the power and money to make a change did nothing, herself included. What was the point of being a sister to the King and yet having no influence at all over him?
The following morning Marié readied herself to see her brother. She gathered clothes from her closet and pieces of jewellery to sell and wrapped them together. Her brother had long stopped giving her money since he insisted that she was helping criminals. Though clothes of fine tailoring disappeared from her closet often, her lady's maids never asked, too afraid to be blamed. Marié cared too little about her own appearance that she didn't know fine linen from drags.
"I will go speak to The King. I will meet you at the front gate.”
Nanny knew when she was being managed and the girl could be sweet as sugar when she wanted something. "I really ought to come with you."
"Oh Nanny, The King will start asking questions about my health and then we will never leave."
"It is only right that he should ask. The other day, they had you involved in the cooking."
Princess Marie rushed to her nanny's arms making sure to quickly distract her before someone close to her brother heard. Her brother had strictly forbidden her from giving money to the "hell holes that have snuck into my city". Marie obediently gave food donations instead. She hadn't lied to him, she was sure of it. It was merely a difference in their interpretation of the truth.
"The walk to the King’s chambers is painfully long,” Marie said. "We have to consider your legs."
"You don't consider my legs or you'll take one of your younger handmaidens instead of making an old lady run after you."
"Nanny, I have already lost my mother. Must I lose everything which reminds me of my past?"
"Don't think you can sweet talk me! I am old and not an idiot. I will not be here forever."
"You have been standing longer than this palace and we will all leave and you will still be here," Marie said, pushing her out of the room.
Returning to the room, Princess Marié stared at her own reflection as she wrapped a scarf around her long golden locks. Soon, it would be shaved bare and she would be in her habit, no longer burdened by the riches of her family. She could already imagine the weight lifted off her shoulders and being able to help without looking over her shoulder.
Marié grabbed the wrapped clothing and jewellery and carried it with her towards her brother's palace. Before getting there, she abandoned the wrapping over a ledge, lowering it into the bushes. She looked over her shoulder briefly, making sure there was no one. No one lived in that part of the palace and she hoped the gardeners didn't come by before she returned.
So early in the morning, her brother was still in his chambers having breakfast. His servants announced her and Marié walked into the room to her brother's welcoming smile.
"Gisellé, come join me," her brother said happily, pointing to the chair across from him. "This is a wonderful surprise!"
Princess Marie curtsied. "Good morning, brother. Is your wife not joining you this morning?"
Her brother groaned. "My wife and I have different personalities. It is easier if she stayed in her own chambers."
That didn't surprise her even for a little bit. If her brother and his wife ever saw each other now that would be a miracle in itself. Marie loved her brother but he was one of the many reasons she never wanted to be someone's wife. His wife was only present at official events when he thought the people needed to see him as a family man.
After that, he tucked her away into the furthest corner of the palace where she was only too happy to stay there and lived just as he did— constantly having extravagant parties with questionable friends. To say Marié had little in common with her sisters-in-law would be an understatement. She differed from her brothers too but they were family and they loved each other.
Her eldest brother, however, suffered from the same debauchery her father suffered from. He took every lesson at emulating the late king expertly. He was a great student, that was for sure. However, they were both kind and that redeemed them in her eyes but that kindness never extended to their people and they suffered for it. What Marié could charm out of her brother whether that was in possessions or gifts, since he had wised up to her giving away money, she did.
"Come now, Giselle, sit and eat with me."
Marié didn't have time but asking things of her brother while he was eating it wouldn't get her very far. Princess Marié grabbed a piece of bread and placed it on her plate. She broke a small piece and placed it at the tip of her tongue.
Her brother watched with a smile. "How would you like to condemn me today?"
Any other day she would have liked to have a conversation with her brother about the suffering of the people in the city despite knowing that he would rebuke and dismiss her.
"I heard Crown Prince Wilhelm will be staying with us."
"Oh yes! We will have a ball in his honour next week to introduce him to a few people while he is here. Will you join us?"
"I would rather not."
The King smiled. "I thought I would ask. You have to meet him at least once while he is here."
Marie wasted no time. "Brother, promise me that you will not betray the promise that you made to mother and me."
"I promised to continue your love of learning and help the church wherever you can. Have I not been more than generous?"
"That is not what I want. Please brother!"
"You have been betrothed from the day you were born. Breaking alliances like that could very well send us into a war, and we are already at the brink of war right here with the criminals you insist on helping."
"They are not criminals, brother. They are hungry and looking to you but you do not provide for them. Have you ever looked at them yourself instead of whatever letter your advisors write you. People are more than letters on a piece of paper." Marie sighed, letting her emotions get the better of her."Promise me that you won't make me marry him."
"I won't make you marry him," he said. "But you will at least try to get to know him and if by the time he leaves and you still say you would rather go into the monastery then I'll allow it."
"Thank you!" Marié exploded, rushing over and kissing her brother on the cheek.
"We are a family and we must stick together, Marié," he said, hugging her. "Our relationship with the church has long been sour. I cannot have my sister publicly condemning me. To my face, I can understand. I am no saint."
"Aside from your sins of excessively drinking and adultery, you are not so bad."
"I am serious."
"I know," Marie said, pulling away. "I have to go."
The sound of her brother's laugh filled the room behind her as she departed. Marié ran to the ledge where she left the wrapping. She placed herself onto the ledge and heard male voices behind her. It was odd as no one ever lived there.
"Whats that?" the voice uttered in Dutch. Marié all but died as she jumped to the ground. Her dress caught by the bushes, some even cutting her legs. She didn't shriek too afraid to get caught. Her brother would kill her if he knew what she planned on doing.
"What do you mean, Your Highness? I do not see anything."
"Mhmm," a voice, filled with boredom, uttered. "It was just a little birdy. I guess it flew away."
"Are you well? You have never been interested in aviculture. Being here is already getting to your head."
The voices faded away and Marié stood up. She lifted her skirt and saw the skin abrasions. The abandoned rooms had always been her sanctuary and a quick way out of the palace without being seen. Marié picked up the wrapping, readying herself to sell her things for as much money as she could get for them. She would worry about the Crown Prince occupying her hiding spot later.
Bargaining with a man with no morals would need more wits than all her fights that morning had required. The journey into the dark parts of the city was not long. All the suffering happened in her brother's backyard and he didn't care. She only wondered what happened in other parts of the kingdom much further away from him.
"Mademomoiselle X," the most wicked man in the entire city stared back at her with a filthy grin. He had wondered about her name and quickly given up. He didn't care where she came from all he cared about were the fine linen he was sure had once been sold to royalty. "You have not been followed?"
She looked back at him sternly. "That's none of your concern now, is it?"
He looked around his shop. He was man known to offer everything. He had wanted to cheat her the first that she showed up in his shop. It took a brave person to turn up into his shop alone, let alone a young woman. He had thought she wouldn't know the price tag attached to some of the pieces and had been sorely disappointed.
"Indeed, as long as you continue to bring me business. "Let’s see what you have brought me today."
Marié placed the wrapping on the counter and watched as the man accessed each piece, his smile growing by the minute.
"This is a rare item, I won't be able to move it in the city. That reduces how much I can give you for it."
Marié raised challenging brow. "If you don't want my business then I'll take it elsewhere."
"There is no one else in the city but me."
She grabbed the pieces, taking them back. "We'll see."
"I suppose you're right. It's not your business how I come to sell it. If you can bring me more of these, I can make it worth your while. You and I should be in business together."
"You are wasting my time."
The man went out back and returned with a couple pieces of golden coins. "There is plenty where that came from." he said, placing the money in her hands. He didn't let go. "Consider my offer. Your ability to move unnoticed and my skills to sell to anyone would be rivalled by no one."
Marie jerked her hand out of his. She bowed her head to him. "Have a pleasant morning."
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