The diary of Lizz

Chapter 02

Chapter 02

Eliza Campos

After leaving the meeting with Mathews, I immediately went to the house, but when I arrived at my destination, I could already see from a distance that my mother and my brother were already there. My mother was probably just here to snoop into my life, since she always did things like that.

As I approached Lucas, I nudged him to make him realize that I had already arrived.

— Lucas, what are you doing here? I told you that you don't have to do this anymore. I'm always cleaning the house whenever I can," I ask Lucas, looking annoyed.

Lucas then turns toward me, smiling happily. We have always had a very close relationship, even closer than me and my mother. Without me expecting any reaction from him, he launches himself toward me and hugs me tightly.

— Lizzie, my sister, how I've missed you," he says, calling me by a nickname he has used since we were children.

— Lucas has already said that I shouldn't be called that anymore. You know I hate this nickname," I say, pulling away from him and trying to contain the smile that wanted to form on my face.

— You know that whenever possible I will call you this way," he says, and then looks suspiciously in my direction.

Lucas had lost some of his confidence in me, but I don't blame him, I had hurt many people since I became addicted to drugs. I don't know if my family believes that I can overcome this addiction.

— I was with Mathews," I answered immediately, and I could see that Lucas seemed relieved with my answer. My brother loves Mathews and knows that he has done the impossible to help me, and even today he is rooting for me to get back together with him.

— Lizz, you really are telling me the truth, aren't you? — Lucas asks again. The way Lucas spoke to me made me anxious. I didn't want to be responsible for all the problems that were happening in our family.

— Lucas, you can relax, don't use drugs if that's what you were thinking," I answer, "Mathews called me because he said he has a job offer for me and that probably between today or tomorrow they will contact me to set up an interview.

After answering, I could see his eyes watering, he probably wasn't expecting this news. Then he approaches me again and surprisingly hugs me tightly as if to make sure that this was no longer a dream, I return the hug without being able to hold back the tears.

Our hug lasted a few more minutes until a certain person interrupted us.

— Guys, did something happen? — my mother asks, probably wondering why we hugged.

After my mother appeared there, I immediately took off the arm I was giving Lucas. I didn't want people to see me having “feelings” for someone. I had closed myself in that cocoon that was mine alone.

— Hi, Mom, nothing happened," he answers and then adds, "It's just that Lizz was giving me some wonderful news.

— May I ask what incredible news this would be, to be enough for you to be hugging each other like this? — My mother asked, from the tone of her voice, as if she couldn't believe that something good could have happened to me. Ever since my drug addiction, she has treated me this way, as if everything I did was a reason to be "wrong," which wasn't really a lie, but even if I tried to do the right thing, that's the way she treated me, to her, I was always the black sheep of the family.

Before I could say anything, Lucas answers in my place.

— Mom, Lizz, said she got a job interview and is just waiting for someone from the company to contact her to set up a day and time.

My mother then looks in my direction.

— I wasn't expecting this, my child," she says as if she doesn't believe what I'm saying, "and where is it to work?

— And before you say anything, it will be yes, this job opening… You can complain as much as you want.

After answering this, my mother takes a deep breath.

— Eliza, there's really no point in my telling you that I don't want you anywhere near that company," she says.

— Mother, explain to me why you don't like it when I mention the name of that company, make me understand that, please.

My mother kept a safe distance from me, until out of nowhere she slowly approaches and points her finger in my face.

— Eliza, I can't have you talking to me like that. You don't need to know everything. I don't want you to go anywhere near that company, and that's final.

Even though I could tell she was furious, I was not shaken by the way she was treating me at that moment. So I just smile debauched and speak with my typical debauchery tone.

— Do you really believe that I will do what you so desire? You don't boss me around anymore, I'm older, and I own my own nose." I take a deep breath before continuing to speak my mind about the whole thing.

— You can get a job anywhere, even become a call-girl. I don't want you going anywhere near that damned company… Be warned – After my mother says this she moves away from me and turns to Lucas – Let's go my dear, it's almost time for Luiz to get home.

Luiz is her new boyfriend.

— Just so you are aware, I am waiting to hear from the company today, the interview will probably take place as soon as possible – I add and then my mother leaves with a frown on her face with my brother by her side, probably embarrassed by the way she treated me.

After this clarifying dialogue with her, I said goodbye to my brother and went home, since I could no longer stand being near that woman who I still insist on referring to as my mother. After getting bored with all of this, I throw myself on my small sofa and try to remember when she started treating me this way, I believe it was even before I got addicted to drugs. She probably blames me for this crisis in her marriage, they were already separating, and my problem was just the last straw.

When I least realize it, my eyes are full of tears which I quickly wipe away, I don't like to show my feelings anymore, but it was something I couldn't avoid, after all, I am a human being. I wish I could change my life soon so that everyone could be proud of me again, and thinking about these things I fall asleep, and a miracle happens, I finally manage to sleep without insomnia. Was it a warning that something magical might happen?