His life has been ruined, he has no future, no one will accept him. Those are every sentence that always accompanies this man's daily life, since he stepped out from behind the iron cage that had imprisoned him for ten years.
No one welcomes the freedom of a bird with a broken wing. Everyone was more interested in talking about the bird's wings, and gossiped that the bird would not be able to fly even if it was out of its nest.
Ten years is not a short time. But for this young man it seemed so short. So scary is the world that awaits him out there, he hopes to return to the cage every moment of his life.
But the cage also hoped that he would never return. The poor man, the bird with the broken wing, had lost a place to die.
He had no choice but to carry a hollow step somewhere far away. Not a place that would accept him, but a place that wouldn't care about his existence. A place where he could live as if he were dead.
A long rustle buzzed as the weathered wooden door slowly opened. From behind it came a man. A black jacket covered his pale body. His face was hidden under the hood of the same jacket.
An old woman was momentarily distracted from the flowers she was watering when she noticed the figure of the man. She turned and smiled until the wrinkles on her face became clearer.
"Son Dean, want to go out?"
The man lifted his face which was originally bowed. Then smiled at the old woman with a bit of force.
Dean, maybe she's the only one who knows his name in this town. Since moving from Jakarta to Bandung, Dean almost never leaves the house other than to buy food at the nearest minimarket, or to the library to borrow books for his work.
"Yes ma'am, do you want to get something?" Dean asked kindly.
"Oh, if I may please buy panda milk at the mini market. Just one"
"Okay, I'll just take a moment."
"Well, be careful okay!"
They smiled back at each other for a few moments. Until finally Dean stepped back out of the yard of the old woman's house, who was actually the mother of the owner of the rented plot that he rented for Five Hundred Thousand each month.
With his salary as a freelancer in a publishing company, it wasn't a high price but it wasn't cheap either. Dean is quite grateful because his income is enough to eat and pay rent. Or not.
He's not grateful. Because every moment of his life, this man hoped that he would starve to death or die in one unforeseen incident. Unfortunately, Dean is currently twenty-six years old and he is still in good health.
"By the way, do you know the novel that just came out? The title is Oasis. Have you read it?”
Why do girls like to gossip so much regardless of time and place?
"I know, but I haven't read it yet. Have you?"
"Already. Ew! The book isn't great! Even though the ending is happy. But, i feel not satisfied at all! It's like something's missing! In fact, some people who reviewed said that the book was a failure. I agree!"
Don't they know they weren't the only people overhearing their own conversation?
Some people who didn't really intend to eavesdrop, actually listened because they spoke as if they were the only ones in this place.
they are very annoying. Especially for people who don't like gossip like this man.
"Hey, how come it's like that? Good thing I haven't read it."
"Serious! They gave the name of the novel a work that failed to know it was so bad! In the city library, the book has already been withdrawn because it is not selling well.”
Dean held out his hand. Opened the glass door in front of him and was immediately greeted by cold air from inside the cupboard.
Without much comment, the man immediately grabbed three cans of panda milk and placed them together with several packets of instant noodles in the basket he was carrying.
While his ears were trying to deafen themselves from the two girls who for whatever reason were gossiping right next to him.
After feeling that he had everything he needed, he walked over to the cashier. Pay, then exit the convenience store.
His initial intention was only to buy food. So after leaving there Dean immediately stepped back towards the rented house.
But the conversation the two girls had unexpectedly turned out to be a little disturbing. The young man's heart was curious. In a work the two girls in uniform had just talked about. The term 'failed work' indirectly reminded Deandra of himself. He is the one who failed.
His footsteps slowed down. Then before long, Dean really stopped. On the crowded sidewalks, among the busy people who continue to move forward to continue their lives. Dean was silent there.
Pondered for a moment and ignored the people who gave him strange looks. Then in one sigh, the man made up his mind. Dean turned and walked the other way.
***
Again, the door made the same sound as it opened. Darkness greeted Dean as soon as he stepped into his apartment.
With a bit of fumbling, he was finally able to find the switch and turn on the light. Just as the light came on, there was a narrow and shabby scene typical of a young man's room.
The laptop on the short table looks open even though it is turned off. Dirty clothes scattered in front of the bathroom door. The remaining cups of instant noodles are scattered like rice seeds. Even when he saw the sight, Dean was getting impatient to hurry up –
Bruk
– Lay his body down on the bed.
"Haaah"
Deandra took a deep breath. A tired sigh that he should have just let out after finishing tidying up his rent. But never mind, instead of doing that in fact this man prefers to look at the blue-bound book in his hand.
On the front of the cover clearly written Oasis. Yes, Dean finally managed to bring the book home after being disappointed because previously the librarian said that the book had been withdrawn yesterday and there was nothing left.
This man is lucky. Because it seemed that a man who was just about to return the book was holding the only book left.
Although he was not very eager to read this book, he was lucky enough that the foreign man was willing to lend him this book. At least Dean didn't come home empty-handed, and only brought a few cups of instant noodles that would soon pierce his intestines.
It didn't take long for Dean to open the first page. On the first page, he is immediately presented with a very unusual prologue. So amazed, Dean read the passage in a mumbled voice.
“I am a failed human.”
Wait, is this book making fun of him? No, of course that's impossible. Dean shook off the ridiculous thought in his head and resumed his delayed reading.
The book was completely ordinary. Tells the love story of a beautiful girl named Licia. The girl owns a simple cafe in a city called Jayaraya. It almost sounded like a parody of the city of Jakarta to Dean.
Poor girl, loves a handsome man who never loved her. A cold and indifferent man who strangely works as a doctor.
Dean began to wonder how the main male character named Andrea was able to get a patient with his nature and character.
Continued on the next page by page. Dean is presented with a very cliché story from the author. A sad love story, a one sided love story.
Dean could tell the guy named Andrea was a total jerk. Because even after Licia nearly killed herself due to being rejected so many times, he still didn't accept her love.
Dean didn't understand, because the reason Andrea didn't like Licia was not explained. Likewise, the reason why Licia is so infatuated with Andrea is also not explained. The story in this novel seems to just revolve around Licia's struggle to win Andrea's heart.
Turning to the next page, Dean found a scene where Licia seemed to be being followed by someone.
But again, in the novel it is not explained who the person who followed that girl was. Looking back, Dean realized that the person who saved Licia when that girl almost committed suicide had never appeared again.
The figure of a man in a school uniform who happened to be there. Nor is it explained how the man came to be on the roof of a building. It's as if the man is just a disposable character whose job is to save the female lead.
Just like the man who saved her, the figure who followed her also just left without leaving anything behind. It's as if it doesn't matter. If it's not important, then why is it included?
Dean began to not understand what the author was thinking when writing this book. Even so, Dean continued to read it. The more he read, the more Dean understood why everyone was calling this book a failure.
Time passed, the sun was fading. Dean had spent almost five hours just reading a book. Without him realizing it, the sun was ready to finish its task of shining today.
In the end, Dean came to the end of the story. As expected, the story had a happy ending. Andrea finally realized that Licia loved him and began to accept that girl. They were together in the end.
But for some reason, reading the end of the story left a feeling of dissatisfaction in Dean's heart. Especially when he saw a blank page very clean of any scratches right on the back after the last page.
It was just a blank page, but it was able to make this young man feel that something was missing. As if the page should be filled in for the story to be complete. But Dean didn't know what to fill it with.
"Hah, you idiot! This is a borrowed book which can’t be scribbled on!”
Said this man while throwing the book in his hand to the side of the empty bed. It seemed for him that the book should not be crossed out but it could be tossed aside. I don't know, this guy is just a little unclear.
Dean fell silent. Staring at the dim lights on the ceiling of his rented room which will soon need to be replaced. Once again pensive with the ticking of the clock which was the only sound in the room. It was five o'clock in the afternoon.
But instead of getting up and going for a shower or filling his stomach with unhealthy food, Dean would rather let time pass by while he was pensive and doing nothing.
One question still bothers him to this day. What was the author really thinking when creating a work that would clearly be called a failure?
Dean didn't understand. But he also couldn't imagine that the writer was an innocent teenager who likes to fantasize about love without knowing the truth.
He couldn't imagine a silly writer who would spend an inordinate amount of time creating a work that would only be reproached by everyone.
The thought of what kind of person the writer was reminded Deandra of one thing. That he himself has not had time to read who wrote the book. Remembering that, he turned around.
Lying on his stomach then grabbed the book that was lying a few centimeters from him. He pulled the book close enough that he could read the name written on the bottom of the cover.
"Fatamorgana?"
Deandra raised her eyebrows. A name that is foreign to his mouth that speaks as well as to his ear that hears. Though Dean spent a lot of time during his life to read many works. The famous novels of Tere Liye's class never escape his attention.
He even knew novels by new writers who were only famous in one or two applications. Because that's his job. A script hunter, script editor, as well as supervisor of the work of writers who work with the publishing company where he works.
But the name Fatamorgana looks foreign. There is not even the name of the publishing company that helped publish this book. Making it even more strange in Deandra's eyes.
“Self Publication? Are you rich?"
Publishing your own work without the help of any company is not easy. In addition to requiring courage, it also takes a lot of money.
Of course Dean didn't understand. Why would someone named Fatamorgana be willing to spend a lot of money on a work that failed? Or, could he not have thought that his work would fail?
“Poor new writer. I think he really is a high school or middle school kid.”
He mumbled a little. While throwing the poor book into the corner of the bed again. Then buried his face in the pillow. For a moment he looked like a frustrated man.
When in fact this man was only gathering the intention to immediately go to the bathroom before the cockroaches crawled on his back.
***
Time passed, Dean was grateful he only borrowed the book for one day so he could just return it the next day. Otherwise, there's no guarantee that his adorable pet rats won't tear the book apart the next night.
So when the sun rose the next day, Dean went straight back to the library just in time for opening.
For a moment he looked at the clock wrapped around his hand. The clock showed eight in the morning. Dean stepped into the library and headed straight for the shelves as if it were his own home.
It's not strange. The librarian was also no longer surprised because Dean came here far more often than anyone else. The man seemed to only live between a rented house, a mini market, and a library.
Even because Dean didn't really talk much, the Librarian had given up trying to greet him since the third attempt because Dean would hardly return his greeting unless he repeated it twice.
So the Librarian only glanced at the man when he entered his domain. Then get back to busying himself with other things. For example, playing chess with himself.
Now Dean was standing between the two shelves. In the corner right in front of him was a long table with chairs on either side. There is also a fairly wide window. The window shone in the sunlight that shone directly on the table in front of him.
At first, Dean was confused. Because he got this book from a man and didn't know where he should put it. But his confusion didn't last long. Because right now, the same man was sitting in one of the chairs in front of him.
The man rested his chin with his hands resting on the long wooden table, and stared out the window in silence.
A sense of awkwardness overtook Deandra. Made it for a few moments – which seemed very long, just staring at that man. As if now he was staring at an aesthetic painting by a famous painter.
Dean couldn't help but be silent while holding a blue-bound book in his hand.
"Are you done with the book?"
Unexpectedly, the foreign man spoke. Then slowly but surely turned to him. As if to confirm to Dean that he had known Dean's presence a long time ago.
But is it possible? Even if he knew there was someone from this distance, how could he be sure that it was the person who had borrowed the book from him yesterday?
"Yeah, I was just about to return it."
The man carved a smile on his handsome face. Honestly, the guy didn't look too old. Probably around thirty-five years old. Even his face can be considered charming.
Making Deandra who is also a grown man feel somewhat inferior because of his own homeless appearance.
"You like that book? You know? People say it's a failed work."
Now the stranger began to act as if they were two friends who already knew each other. Asking for an opinion from a foreign man just because they read the same book, is that normal? Dean didn't know.
Because it had been a very long time since he actually had a face-to-face conversation with a fellow human. Dean was so comfortable in his relationship with the walls of his rented room that he had forgotten what it was like to talk to such a creature.
“I don't know, I can't say I like or don't like this book. But I seem to know why people call it a failed masterpiece.”
Dean's gaze shifted from the man a few meters in front of him to the book in his hand. Again, for the umpteenth time he looked at the cover of the book.
It looks elegant in blue and has an engraved title that says Oasis on it. Perhaps, the only thing that can be considered successful from this book is only the cover.
"Want to discuss it with me sir? I'm curious what you think of the book.”
Very formal language, as if he was someone who came from outside Indonesia and had just learned the language. However, the beautiful tone and intonation as if he was in poetry made Dean feel interested.
Although to be honest, the invitation still felt strange to him. But alas, the poor bird with a broken wing didn't realize he was stepping into a much bigger cage than before.
To be continue ....
It had been a long time since Dean had felt so tense when he sat across from someone. Even in the past when he was seated with lawyers, before judges and prosecutors, as well as witnesses who did not side with him. Deandra did not feel this much pressure.“You finished the book overnight. So I can guess, you're a little out of work huh?” the chirps of the stranger across the table broke the silence between them.Dean snorted and then smiled. Being between offended and sad because what the man said could not be denied by him.“I work from home. So you could say I really don't have much work to do." Deandra said without removing the smile on his face.The brief conversation that had created between them, seemed to have managed to make Dean a little more relaxed. The way he sit was not as tense as before.“Work from home? What kind of work?&rdqu
If he did die, then at least Dean wanted someone to clearly tell him he was dead. But a few moments passed, since Dean closed his eyes until now he couldn't hear anything other than a gust of wind that continued to gently caress his face."What is this? 'die' is only like this, seriously?" His mind grumbled.Tired of waiting, Deandra ventured to open his eyes. As expected, the dazzling light had disappeared somewhere. But strangely, the light disappeared along with everything that was originally around him.The bookshelves that were originally flanking him disappeared, the tiled floor he had originally stepped on disappeared. Even so the tables, chairs, walls, roof and the man in front of him. All disappeared. All that was left was Deandra, and the book Oasis lying between his legs.“So… Is this heaven, or hell?” Dean asked himself.He glanced
None of this is a joke. Even if it's a joke, then it doesn't feel funny at all. Deandra kept asking in his mind. Who made this terrible game, and why should he be stuck in it?"Ivan?" Dean spoke in a barely audible voice, a surprised look directed straight at the young man standing in front of him."Devan. This one’s Ivan." said the young man objected, then pointing to another young man right beside him."Are you drunk or what? Is it possible to identify one's your own friend wrong?" Ivan pouted as he folded his arms in front of his chest.For a moment, Dean was silent. He continued to stare at the faces of two young men around seventeen years old in front of him.There was no way he would forget them. Even though the past ten years have made it difficult to distinguish the names of the two non-identical twins.Ivan and Devan. Nothing
Dean took a deep breath of the water that was pouring out of one of his nose. Every now and then he would sob, while feeding vegetables into his own mouth.The sight had been seen since they occupied this dining table, and it was still an interesting spectacle even a few minutes later. Ivan is the one who enjoyed the most."Can people cry while eating?" Ivan whispered to his twin brother."Yes, that's the proof." Devan answered in a loud voice that made Ivan awkward.Deandra knew very well that he was being talked about. The confused looks of his parents across the table were evident, but he didn't care.It's a sweet dream that somehow goes on longer than usual. That was what Dean believed at least for now. He too had decided to enjoy it while it lasted."Where did you guys meet Dean?" Dad asked, moving the fried fish in the middle of the table onto his own plate.<
It's not wrong to be complacent. It had been ten years since Dean had last lunch together. The smell of sweat from the high school uniform, indeed mixed with the canteen mother's fried noodles, which was only topped with chicory.But that can't make anyone lose their appetite. Everyone likes to jostle just to buy unsatisfying food for one to five thousand rupiah."Dean want some meatballs? Here are the meatballs!”Dean raised an eyebrow because it was Ivan who suddenly put a meatball into his bowl, without even listening to his response first."Van, eat. If you give it all to Dean, when will you be full." Devan across the table squinted sharply.Responding to his brother's attitude, Ivan put on a sullen face. While Dean just chuckled, laughing at his two friends who didn't change.From the beginning, it was very difficult for Ivan to have lunch with them. On
Footsteps echoed as he passed through a long hallway. Sometimes, the handcuffs on his hands would make a faint clanking sound when they accidentally bumped into each other. A pair of iron shackles, is the price to be paid when he is given the opportunity to get out from behind bars. It didn't matter, because only an hour later he would come back in. The young man walked calmly with a guard who led faithfully. Soon he entered a room containing a table and two chairs, one of which was occupied by another young man. “You only have an hour to talk. Make the most of it, and remember that we are always watching over you.” After leaving a message, the warden left and locked the door from outside. It was true he was watching from behind the glass wall. His gaze was fixed on the two young men in the room. "It's been five years, you haven't changed, Devan." Unexpectedly, the inmat
The sound of hurried footsteps echoed through the hospital hall. Splitting the crowd, the twins rushed towards the indicated space.Seeing a Devan in a hurry is a rare sight. But it certainly isn't any rarer than seeing a gold medal winner in the Interschool Swimming Olympics lying in hospital from drowning. Now almost all the children of the swimming club gathered just to see this rare event."Deandra! Where's Dean?! How is he?"Ivan shouted excitedly. His gaze swept around the infirmary which was filled with people. Then it stopped right at Deandra who was lying unconscious on the bed. On Dean's side, Amel sat faithfully waiting for his consciousness."Not aware yet." Said one of Deandra's club friends.Without responding, Ivan stepped past the few students and headed straight for the side of the bed. He patted Amel's shoulder to calm her down. Even though i
"Your condition has improved. So you don't have to stay overnight. But if you want to stay overnight it's also not a problem. At the very least, call your guardian first, okay?”A doctor smiled kindly. Successful young man with a stethoscope around his neck."Yes Doctor, thank you!"In response, Dean also carved the same smile. While busy re-buttoning his top which had been opened due to a brief inspection earlier."Since it's late, you should call your parents. Especially this little girl here." said the doctor, turning around. Precisely to the young girl standing by his side."Yes Doctor." Amel – the young girl, smiled and nodded.Before they could speak further, the three of them were turned around by a knock on the door. There a beautiful nurse was seen standing and looking at the doctor in their midst."Excuse me!&nbs