Why Are My Dreams Realistic?

Chapter 9 : A New Experience : (part 1)

The darkness seems cold. I drifted beyond the so-called afterlife. Pieces of me were scattered like ashes inside the door of nothingness. I can’t shout or cry. I couldn’t feel anything or move. 

The red hands scrumpled my pieces. Scatter it around in null. Fuzzing tumult rings inside my head even though I’m nothing but a broken piece. A glass that quickly broke apart with a ball, creating a cellophane design after it turned to dust. 

I perceive in my thoughts that I closed my eyes and screamed at the top of my lungs. I cry as much as I can. Be afraid of the void that lies ahead of nothingness. Never wonder what the future remains as long as the happiness I’ve received earlier has turned my life upside down.

******

It’s cold. The air breeze turned into a blizzard, shivering as the cold had touched my body for a long time. It’s painfully cold. My body was numb. I couldn’t open my eyes but could hear a muffled voice. It was telling me something, asking me something, and crying for me as I die.

‘Wake up!’

How would I wake up when I don’t have a body? How would I sleep if I was drifting alone in the darkness when a joyful day was shattered into a million pieces of disappointment and regret? It was a one-way ticket to a joyous day that instantly broke like a game filled with human depravity.

‘Please, wake up!’

I can’t. My heart was muffledly dwelling into nothingness. A line that shuts off anything in the door, crushing it like a pulp. Escape was futile, and only an imaginary line created a piece of myself, aligning it like lines to find and complete me.

‘Don’t leave me…’

I opened my eyes to see a new world—a monochromatic, dull, lifeless piece of art. When did I exactly enter such a place? Should I scream? “AHHHH!!!” I screamed as loud as I could as tears rolled over my eyes. 

Then, suddenly, a cold chill ran down my spine. I can feel someone’s heavy breathing where I am lying. The floor was warm, yet the air above it was as cold, with the light as monochrome as possible.

“Mori?” Someone’s voice calls out to me on my side. I was startled at first, but as I exhaustively opened my eyes in a blurry sight, I saw a figure of three persons sitting down beside me. One was holding my hand, shaking, giving warmth. While the other two were slightly trembling, their eyes stated curiosity and care for me.

“How’d you know my name?” I say while still on the floor—the face of the girl slightly twitched, her eyes lowered as if she was sad.

“Of course… I know your name.” She said. There was a hint of underlying confusion, but she felt like she was carrying the weight of the world with her looks. The boy with the most innocent face placed his hand on the girl’s head, slowly caressing it with a sorrowful smile.

“He wouldn’t understand it, but we should tell him. His shouting is an indicator that he came back for us.” The boy said. “He’s crying. You can see on his eyes that were swollen red that he suffered, maybe because he was lonely after he left us.”

I don’t understand emotions, nor the meaning of emotions. I could feel and express it but couldn’t understand its purpose. They looked at me with a sad face and a deep sense of careful understanding of my situation. They looked attentive; they concerned themselves with me to someone they didn’t even know.

“Are you okay?” The girl said. She’s the one who was holding my hand and slowly caressed it. “Were you crying because you didn’t see us for a long time? I hope not; I really hope not.”

“You know that he’s always crying, isn’t it right? And it’s our job to help him.” Another boy said this one has the face of a mature teenager. A melancholic look was expressed through the girl’s face. She looks at me, maybe with concern or pure sadness. I don’t know… but for some reason, my heart aches with the look she’s giving. 

“Yeah, that’s probably true…” The girl said.

My tears won’t subside for some reason. It continued pouring like Aki, which let me see a world beyond my understanding. This is happiness. I know it is happiness, but why does happiness have to have a thing called fluttering sadness? 

A painted melody scrap resonates in the walls inside my head that says it was detrimental happiness altered into pure nostalgic sadness. A lightscape of euphoric nostalgia that my heart replays inside my head.

The girl moved over and placed my head under her thighs to rest. Her body temperature was quite cold as she laid my head there, but it became slightly warmer over time. “Don’t cry, Mori…” She said. She caressed my hair slowly. “Say, you like food, right? I know. How about we eat the food that you like?”

The food that I like? What was it? Did I ever like something that I will never forget? I don’t know. “Wha… what was my favorite food?” I asked. My voice was hoarse from continuous crying that I didn’t understand.

“Sweets. Bread. Everything that your sister brings over to you.” She says. Her voice had turned quite energetically. I saw her hand pointing to the boy near my feet. She was looking at him as if she was telling him something, too. Then the boy responded and left. “We’ll just wait for it to come.” She says.

Five minutes. We waited for about five minutes, and my tears still hadn’t subsided. It was getting hard to breathe, but I couldn’t stop my tears. It’s like I’m looking for something, yet I don’t understand. 

Suddenly, the boy came barging, holding a basket with a steaming hot bun filled with oozing chocolate. The boy was sweating and breathing heavily. The steam coming out of the bun mixes with his heavy breathing. 

“There it is.” The boy passes the basket to the girl. The boy sat down on the corner, thumping his clothes. “Do you want to take a bite?” She says as she holds one piece in front of me. 

I nodded. I bite a piece from where the chocolate is filled inside. I savored it in my cheeks. I slowly chewed it until my tears disappeared as I grabbed the piece in the girl's hand. The overwhelming feeling inside me began to rise, revealing a sweet nostalgia.

“You’re smiling. Thank god.” The girl said. Her face showed a warm and loving smile, as if she was happy for me. The two also smiled, showing a sincere and calm atmosphere on their face.

“Aren’t you happy, Mirai?” Said the boy who brought the bun that I was eating. Hearing the name Mirai, there was a sudden ringing sound in my head. A popping? No, a chime? 

“Mi…rai?” I said. My mouth moved on its own as I heard the girl’s name. It’s like my chest began to beat even faster than before.

“Yes?” She says as she stops talking to the other two.

Afraid to ask their names. I muster up my courage. I put down the food that I’m holding. I clench my fists as if I’m preparing something. Then I asked them, “Your name… is Mirai?” 

“Yes…? Is there something wrong, Mori?” She said with confusion on her face. 

“Nothing.” Tears began to roll in my eyes again. I looked down and placed my hand on my chest. It beats as if it was saying it was glad.

“Flure, I think you should reconcile with Mori.” I looked at the person who was sitting in the far corner. Innocent face. Flure…

“Reconcile…?” I uttered. The boy walked and stood in front of me. He looked at me like he was saying sorry. He took a step back and then kneeled in front of me.

“Sorry!” He said. His forehead was touching the floor. His hands were in a praying position. He was seriously in an act of penitent.

I was flustered, and I didn’t know what to do. He was apologetic, but I don’t see the reason for it. “Ple-please. Don’t do that, Flure.” I say.

“Really? Even though I did something horrible to you.” He said while continuing to prostrate himself. I took a glance at the two; they seemed to be contented. My face was sweating heavily, and my hands were trembling. I wanted him to lift his head, but I couldn’t do so.

“Please. Lift… Lift your head.” I say as I stutter. He lifted his head, looking somewhat happy. He glanced at the two, raised his thumb, and shouted. “Whoo!!”

He was happy. His reluctant face earlier that says that apologizing might not be enough suddenly turned to a smile. I also began to calm down, as if I was getting used to the atmosphere around me.

This place. This world that I’ve suddenly been thrown into. It’s a nice place where even someone who couldn’t comprehend emotions can understand the feelings of others.

“Ah! That’s right, I forgot to mention. It might not be a good time, but a bird having your sister's letter states that we should hurry to the park.” Flure said while he was jumping around. “What do you say, Louis?”

I turned to the guy who seemed to be the most mature person. He stared quietly on the floor, then lifted his head and looked at Flure. “I see. I guess it’s time for it, huh.” He said.

“Really!?” Mirai says enthusiastically. She brought up her face in front of me, looking quite ecstatic. 

“Mhm… Well then, should we hurry then? She might be waiting, and it would be pretty fun with Mori, right Flure?” 

“I concur,” Flure said. He then left the room with the door open, followed by Louis. The look on Louis's face was filled with indescribable joy.

“Should we?” Mirai held out her hand, which I instinctively grabbed. Mirai’s hands were much warmer than earlier. Her face seems a beet red.

As I left the room with Mirai, the world outside the room was much different. It states the difference at an abundant rate of extravagance. In a world as monochromatic as it is, the state in which it was designed was majestic. A place built inside a tree. A tree house that I only thought of as a mere dream.

A house with different rooms that spiraled across a space of void. A spiraled staircase that led outside, a glass that changes colors like a kaleidoscope. My mouth was agape at the colossal tree house—unique and out of place—a mellowly lovely home.