A Cat's Tale (The Secret Desires of Hotaru Nyanko)

Four: 燃える記憶 Burning Memories

(Shin’s P.O.V.)

I watched the flames burn around the house as the firefighter stood beside me in his truck.

“Moooom!”

Dad was rushed into the hospital that night, trying to save Mom and get her out of the house.

Earlier that night, everyone was sleeping.

I was still in my pajamas when I heard whispers inside the corners of the walls call out to me.

“Come here,” they said, getting louder and louder.

So, I got up and squeezed my teddy bear tight, afraid of the shadows looking up beneath me.

Just then, Mina showed up to me meowing from downstairs. Something was going on, I couldn’t tell. There is a putrid smell coming down from below, and I covered my nose because I couldn’t breathe well.

“Mama,”

I hurried beside her. She was still sleeping.

“Don’t worry, my darling. I’m here,” I remember her saying when I woke up in the middle of the night so she can let me lie beside her.

But this time, she is not waking up.

I shake her again using my fragile little hands.

“Momma,”

I looked at her pale face, holding a cigarette in her hand.

“Mama…”

I cried again, this time feeling my tears falling from my face.

She doesn’t move.

The smell from down below started to get stronger, the smoke following its way to our room.

I cried at her, and to the walls whispering to me.

Dad was not home.

I sat there beside my mama and crawled up to lie down with her and continued to hug Bubba bear. I remember Mom coming home one night, giving me the best gift I ever had, and it is this bear. I clung close to my Mama’s arms as I heard the sound of sirens blaring from outside. Lights are flashing across the room, and I wonder why Mom is still asleep. This time, the smoke is already filling up our whole space, and all I could see is gray.

I sat up again, getting hints of flashes and I looked at the window.

Daddy’s here. His car is parked outside.

One man gushed in and brought me up, motioning over to someone behind him to go carry my mom.

“That man tried to come over here but I insisted we do the work,” the other man said, his voice heavy in pain. He must be talking about my dad who tried to go in.

“He doesn’t know how to shut the flames down for sure,” shouts the taller man.

“His left hand is already burning when I pushed him out,” the shorter guy said.

The taller man carried me downstairs, his orange firefighter uniform blending in with the color of smoke and fire. It was too hot I felt my skin burn.

I couldn’t breathe and I only opened my eyes again when I was put down on a cold surface. It was the guy’s trunk. A nurse came in immediately to check my fresh wound and poured some betadine on it. Seeing me in my shiver, the man took out his jacket for me to wear. We both watched the fire take up the whole house, eating it away. I watched those guys hurriedly place my mom on the stretcher. They also guided my dad on his way in, as he climbed carefully into the ambulance. He took a glimpse at me as they closed the door and drove away.

The tall man, named Dave, patted me on the back as I stare at my wrapped arm.

“Sorry, kid,” he said.

“I bet ya’ get over it, don’t worry.”

The tall man took me out to a restaurant with Bonita Diners labeled on it with its pink lights sparkling as we entered.

“What’s your order?” the old woman asked us. He showed me the menu and before I got a chance to tell him that I wanted the slimy-looking apple pie, he ordered two cheeseburgers for himself and one for me. I watched him devour everything as if he doesn’t even blink. I sipped my coke as I sadly looked out of the window, imagining my parents coming out to get me.

“We’re gonna try to see your parents’ contact list, kid. Then you can finally go home,” he says with his husky low voice and his long white beard swinging from side to side, catching sauce from his food.

“What’s your name, kid?”

“Shin,” I told him.

He nodded at me in a strangely pathetic way and took out his cell phone to dial a number.

“Hey, I got the kid here…”

“Alright, it’s taken care of, then,” says the woman over the phone.

Within a few minutes of talking, he told me that I am going to sleep at my grandma’s house for a while until my parents can recover.

We came upon a large house with white and beige painted all over its exterior walls with huge statues displayed in her courtyard. The house stood 20 meters long and wide with its porticoes. There were some hints of gold all over the cornices in its doors and windows. Tall columnar trees and flower plants surrounded the garden. There was a huge ramp that the car climbed onto, and the man looked out with a joint in his mouth, astounded by the seemingly beautiful place.

“Well, look what your granny got here, kid,” he told me.

When we jump outside, we walked towards the stairs and the front door opened. I glanced at the yellow lights from the inside hall. An old woman came out, dressed in a silky velvet robe. Her eyes were blood red from tears and despite her lament, asked us to come in.

“Oh, my dear child,” she said, slowly scooping me up into her arms and pulling me into a tight embrace.

“This young fella here has seen it all,” the man said.

My grandmother sniffed.

“Are they okay?” she wailed, kneeling to look up beside me.

“I best hope they are, Ma’am,” he said.

He reached for a calling card in his pocket and told her to call him just in case. He promised to update us with whatever news he can get. He also gave grandma the address to the hospital so we could visit Mom and Dad there.

“Come here, my love,” my grandma says, holding me close by her arms and feeling the warmth coming from her skin.

We waved the man goodbye and slid the money into his hands. “Make sure that we are safe. Thank you,” she whispered to the man and he silently nodded at her, with a grim look in his eyes.

As he backed out the door, my grandmother held me tight and quickly threw her hands at me. “Don’t tell about it to anyone!” She blurted out.

“…about what, Grandma?” I asked.

” That you did not save them!” She said.

“But Grandma I tried to wake Mama up,” I cried.

When she finished crying, she hugged me in her arms and mumbled some words for what seemed a prayer to the heavens to bid God to forgive me I guess.

At first, I thought Grandma was blaming me for the accident, but I only kept thinking to myself that her mood and emotions vary after such time. She had a mental illness, but she continued to love me, which I am very thankful for.

"Smile when your heart is aching, smile even though it's breaking, when there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by," she sang and danced as she smoked around the living room with her recording player circling. My grandma knew how to smile even though she could be in my memories, the saddest person I ever knew…

A week went by, and it became unusually quiet. Grandma took care of me, helped me take a bath, and cooked food for me. She told me bedtime stories so I could sleep. For a while, I saw Mama in her, even though she flashes back to me from time to time... 

The doctor came into the house that night. 

Soon after my dad came in, his eyes swelling with tears, and hugged me tightly. I knew he wasn’t ready to open up, and as a little kid like me, I preferred to be staying calm and play with some toys Grandma gave me a few days ago. My father slept in silence and never even the slightest bit noticed me after that burning night. He never even asked me anything, he just sat there and stared into space, eating too little amount of food.

That night I had a dream in which I was standing before a large stone house. It was massive, dark, and threatening as if it never wanted me to enter. But then suddenly I was inside it and descended to a dimly lit stairwell. At the bottom of the stairs, I pushed through a door into a study. On the surface, it looked normal enough, a desk, chairs, fireplace, and bookcases. But every time I turn around, the surroundings changed. The walls slid back. The books reshuffled themselves, the chairs switched places; and then it gripped me- an awful, heart-stopping f