Home / Fantasy / A Cat's Tale (The Secret Desires of Hotaru Nyanko) / Three: 私の頭の中の質問 (Questions in my head)
Three: 私の頭の中の質問 (Questions in my head)
Author: Apollo Zen
last update Last Updated: 2024-10-29 19:42:56

The moment I turned fifteen, Mama gave me a music box with a feline cat dancing inside. Carefully embroidered in the finest blue and gold, its little containers kept tiny photographs of me, Kai, Papa, and Mama. It was the best gift I had from her. When I play that music box the cat danced so beautifully. I also kept the necklaces and rings inside which Papa gave me every year. It's as if she was striding high, her face all striking and her pink ballet shoes would carry her wherever she goes. Sometimes, Papa would let me play that music box and his face would light up easily, and just listen to it as if it gave him a reason to live.

Papa was diagnosed with a chronic disease that following year. He suffered a mild stroke but turned worse as time went by. We didn’t notice his symptoms as he barely comes home but one time we did was when he suddenly clenched his chest in the middle of our dinner and fell to the ground. Mama hurriedly went by his side and I could see the shock on her face as Papa grappled his way up. Kai just turned 19 at that time and got his driver’s license and we immediately helped Papa to the hospital. He stayed there for about a week when the doctor announces that he was ill and that we have to take care of him and spend as much time with him as we could. The doctor didn’t say it, but we knew his life had its time limit. He was only forty-three years old at that time, young and his peak. He would enjoy all the laughter, smoke, and alcohol as his workmates would gather inside the house each time we held a party. Mama and Papa would dance their heart away as their friends cheered for them.

“Hmmm. Classics”

I looked up to see Mrs. Penn strangling her way past me. The tables were too close for her to go through. I could see that she can use the extra bigger space in the hallway, but she chose to express her unnecessary intrigue. I think by now she noticed that I looked Japanese enough to even take such interest in classic books. “I’m sorry, kid. But we don’t have a Manga section here.” She raised her brows with concern as she climbed through a ladder to return a book on the top shelf. “There are some old comics, though,” she continued as I glimpsed at her.

“No, thanks. I’m alright.” I awkwardly smiled at her hoping that by this time she would stop talking to me and I am glad that she slowly returned to her counter at the back and left me in peace.

Just then, my phone beeped with Kai’s text message asking me if he should take me home. “No, I’m good,” I replied. One good thing about Kai is that he never forgets me, aside from the fact that he’s too busy with his college life and training.

I sighed at the sentence that I read “Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its way,” I followed the words in a murmur. “Oh, this is going to be a great book.”

The wind blew harder as the old front door opened and dangled with its tiny trinkets and shells as if it were designed for Christmas. The storage shelves at the side rotated along with its old photographs, letters, and tickets as some of them fell to the ground. A young man probably in his 20’s came in with an intense look on his face. Wait, I recognize him. It’s that tall guy I saw when Calvin went up to me that rainy day at school. It’s the guy wearing a leather jacket. His wavy black hair shined with gel and his musky scent lingered in the room, in which no one but me and Mrs. Penn sat gawking at him. But what was he doing there? He looks as if he is attending another university elsewhere, or like he is looking for his younger sister to come and pick her up. I watched him walk in a rush towards the bookshelves, in hope of finding something. He suddenly turned to glance at me with those unbelievably scorching hazel brown eyes and I hurriedly hid towards my book, feeling my cheeks hot and pretending not to notice him. My Gosh, he looks so handsome. I couldn’t help but pry. So I took another peek at him as he sat at a table far opposite from me, settling down an old book for what seemed to have lived in ages. He drew something out of his pocket, like a small cut-out newspaper that he constantly compared while looking at the book. He then suddenly eyed me like I did something wrong and got up with his book to the counter and left.

“Geez, is he always like that?” I heard Mrs. Penn groan as someone slapped her in the face.

My mood suddenly changed as I got up and returned the books to their designated shelves.

“Aren’t you borrowing anything?”

I was near the exit when I turned to Mrs. Penn. She asked me as if it was not her first time seeing me here. Seeing me with a blank face she continued, “That kid…looked like he’s got a lifetime of membership here…gets all the oldest first edition books with not much sense to their content. Honestly, I’m weirded out,” she exclaimed with her strong Irish accent.

“Maybe he’s just using them for his research, Mrs. Penn,” I said reluctantly.

“I doubt it,” she whined.

I smiled and said goodbye to her as I walked out the door.

****

“Mai-bebi, you’re home!” Mama squealed as I opened the door, removing my shoes and socks. It was a tiring day. Going home is an easy option for me aside from the parties and constant search for everything. My favorite part of the day is coming home to some delicious Yakitori, Udon, and Onigiri.

I would mostly prefer some Miso soup and rice noodles over pizza on any day. My mother swiftly came out of the kitchen wearing her smiley face carrying a tray of baked sushi rolls which made my mouth water. “Eat, eat!” she exclaimed. I hurriedly grabbed a handful of sushi rolls in my mouth.

 “Ow!” It’s so hot. But oh my, that tasted so good. Just then the door opened, and my brother came in all sweaty and tired. And just when I am about to grab another sushi, he greedily took all of it gobbling it all into his big mouth.

“Really?” I raised my brows at him. His uniform stinks terribly. “Geez. You stink.” I told him. “Yes, he jests. “…and hungry too.” He added with that stupid wink on his face. “Will you take a bath please?” I uneasily told him. “I bet you I fall asleep before I can even take a bath,” He said as he goes to his room. My gosh. My brother is so disgusting.

As I went to the dining table, I sat on the ground to watch my Mama heartily serve a bunch of hot food before me.

“Kaiiii!” She continued to call my brother. After about 6 minutes he got out of his room, his hair all wet from the shower. I wonder if he even gets in the shower in that short amount of time.

“Wow, I appreciate you taking a bath for everyone.”

“Whatever,” he slyly rolled his eyes at me.

What I love the most about us is that we continue to share dinner every day and it gives us a tremendous amount of happiness and love for each other. I pick up my spoon and fork and poured some hot Miso soup into my bowl.

“Mmmm…’’

 ’’These noodles are so delicious.”

 My brother sipped and ate his food like there was no tomorrow. I think that his daily strenuous exercise makes him eat like a cookie monster to me. Maybe an appetite like that would make me fatter than I thought I would get to be.

My mother ate her food slowly as her thin hands try to hold her spoon. I enjoyed watching them both eat. 

As soon as I finished another plate of sushi, and Onigiri I felt a bit dozy from my full stomach. I looked outside. The rain started to fall, and I have a feeling that I would sleep so well tonight. A memory flashed at me when I was younger. My mama picked me up from school and the heavy rain started pouring. I loved how the rain tickles through my skin and its refreshing feeling that gives me full happiness. For me, the rain represented endless possibilities. I didn’t care how Mama would judge me for I was only 7 at that time and I loved to play. While she helplessly stared at me under the tiny steel roof from the waiting shed calling my name, I started to twirl like those carefree girls I see in the movies with their dresses all glistening wet from the rain, their nipples visible through the thin fabric while they scream with delight. I never really thought of anything else but my happiness and thrill at that time.

I slid inside my room and dragged all my weight heavily to the bed. I was trying to think of things to do-homework and listen to a CD that Courtney gave me. I hummed along to the song “Hidamari no Uta” as I listen to the radio playing. As soon as I got up and finished my assignments I slipped into my silk pajamas, put my hair up, and brushed my teeth.

“Meow”

I look outside, seeing a black cat purring at me from outside the kitchen window, with haunting golden eyes staring intently at me.

She is so cute but at the same time scary because her pitch-blackness almost hid along with the shadowy night. I tried to touch the glass window to see how she would react. For about a minute she just stood there with her glowing eyes, not moving for a second and suddenly she raised his paw to touch mine. “Two soul sisters together, meow meow” I whispered at her. It is very rare to see black cats these days on the streets, and I knew that it won’t be too unusual again this time, because I saw a black cat a few days ago.

 And as if she understood what I meant, she hissed at me and hurriedly brought her paw down and jumped out from the window.

’’Wait. What did I do to make her go away?’’

“Am I scary?”

 Well, that was interesting.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

I reached for my bag as I fumble through my phone. It's Courtney. She called me a couple of times while I was eating a while ago. I opened her text message from an hour ago and it said: "Come and join us for a dinner tonight."

"But... I already ate," I replied. "Hotu," Courtney replied as she always texts with my nickname. "You won't believe what just happened today." "It's crazy. Calvin and I were so shocked." "What is it?" I asked, trying to get ideas of what they might say. "I'll tell you tomorrow." She replied. "Okay." I typed in my words, feeling so sleepy. I helped my mom with the dishes while Kai is starting to snore from his room that I could hear from upstairs, and I can't believe how he could quickly change from a huge gobbler to a sleeping beauty in no time. "You know, I often remember your father, Hotu." My mom said as she drained the water from the dishes. "It's not easy living without him, and of course I get lonely." By now I can see my mom breathing heavily and her voice turning into a cry. "I could have saved him, Hotu. You know I can. I just... don't know how. And part of me feels like I haven't done enough for your Papa," my mom whimpered. "Oh, mama. It's not everyone's fault." I hugged my mom as she stood still in the kitchen, her arms tightly holding the counter. I felt tears in my eyes flooding as I recall Papa. I missed his scent, his presence when he comes home. The way he steps in with his huge black suit and engulfs everyone in a big hug is the best of all. Papa never says much sometimes, but he is big on his actions. Life is tough, and I couldn't take it any longer. Ooasan and I let out huge howls of cries that night. Our tears became a flood of water, filled with sadness and emptiness in our hearts... and when I look at the eyes of my Mama she looks as if her eyes wanted revenge as if she is still able to do something, to save Papa... although I'm not sure what she's thinking. I was too tired from my cries that night, so I head to my room again and lay down on the bed. I stared at my ceiling for hours, not accepting all that is happening in our lives. I started to question everything. "Where are all the gods? Why aren't they watching over us?" And why, of all people, has to be my Papa who has to go? I became so angry that I held my knuckles tight and punched the back wall until I saw my hands turn red from fresh wounds.

***

“Walk here.”

 The stranger shifted his body closer to me and I feel his heated body against me from behind. I don’t have any idea who he is and where I am. All I know is his deep warm voice guiding me somewhere. He took away my blindfold and onto the right corner of the street we go.

 He carried out a torch that emerged from the tunnel so we could see, and a tiny bit of light shed itself towards us, as my hurting hands are wrapped tight in a cloth filled with blood.

“Where am I?” I asked him.

“Who are you?”

He just stood still as I looked at his eyes, blank and unknown beneath his mask.

I tried to escape from him, struggling to get away. He gripped me in his arms so easily that I felt like his little pet that does not have a choice but to follow his master.

 Hotaru shifted to relieve the pressure on her ribs as they bumped into her captor's shoulder.

She'd given up trying to keep track of where they were heading very soon.

All she knew was that with each step, they were getting farther and further away from the real world with her hopes of the possibility of returning. Even though she was crying, she had to bite her lower lip. She was well aware that if she did, the stranger would be able to hear her anguish.

“Listen to me,” he leaned closer to my ear. “Follow the whispers and footsteps that you hear when we walk inside the tunnel.”

We walked on and on, my feet feeling the rugged tracks and rich lump of soil with some trace of grass. The scent of stinky sewage and dirty pipes are lingering in the windy air. I tried to hold my breath and cover my nose when something came and hit me hard.

 "Ow!" I screamed, hearing my voice echo in the distance. I felt a sharp pain clinging to my toe and quickly winced at its pang of ache. Raising my hurting left toe, the man's hands pulled out a piece of tiny glass stuck on my foot and shocked by his incredible strength when he carried me up, his arms lifting my legs. I let out a whimper. It's so painful everywhere including my hands and feet. Where am I? Wasn’t I just home a while ago? And who is this guy leading me on? I couldn't see his face because he was hidden in a black mask and I saw a hint of his blazing eyes when we were on the street but now all I could see is pitch-blackness everywhere, trying so hard to find some light.

Just then, I heard humming whispers that I don’t quite understand alternating from my left to right ear. Like a loud vibration, I followed its immense tone by pointing my hand out in different directions. I covered my ears from fright. “Put me down,” I told him, sensing that he is getting exhausted. “It is fine,” he said; like words of comfort in my ear. After some time, he finally gave up and put me down. I let out a sigh of relief knowing that my foot stopped bleeding by now. He wrapped another piece of cloth in my toe and started walking again. I can hear murmurs everywhere, like a wild crowd whispering to me.

“Come to me.”

I obeyed them as I hear women and men making noises in the background. I heard dogs too, which confused my senses. After the long, dark tunnel we came across a rocky hill that was hard to climb and held the man as he climbed up beside me. We heard a huge howl from the distance and continued to go further.

It is past midnight when we reached the edge of the hill. I can hear the sound of crickets and owls from down below.

“Come to me,” it said once again. I cannot tell from the whisper, but I can sense that the voice is from a woman, soft and insinuating.

“Who are you?” I asked the man again beside me.

“You will know me soon. Now…is not the time.”

I tried to calm down from my fear as we go to the side of the hill. We changed our pace since it is so steep and made our way to the isolated part of it. I began to shiver. The ice-cold breeze started to blow gently as I looked up to see the pale moonlight shining over us. I started to look at him, and he turned his head to me. All I could see is his deep set of hazel eyes with a vicious glare. “Here, take this,” he said. He held out his leather jacket and helped me wear it. I could feel his big warm hands against my arms.

“If you need anything, just tell me.”

I smiled at him. “Thank you.”

He sat on a huge rock while I stood up and I could almost laugh at him trying hard to maintain his balance. The long road looked so far from our area. He sat grimly, placing his hands on his chin, and glared at me. I could not help but wonder who this mysterious guy is.

“I know this journey is confusing to you, but just trust me on this. There are still a lot of things you need to know,” he paused.

“Know what?” I implied.

 He continued as if he didn’t hear my question. He took out a compass from his pocket. “We’re going to sail north 300 miles from here after tomorrow and we might get there in approximately 60 hours. No one has to see us; we should arrive at the boat by dawn. May the gods protect us from possible heavy winds and storms.”

For a moment I tried to keep up with this conversation but I can hear my stomach growling by now.

 “The world that lies unseen abides by those who need belonging.”

 “Yes. And I’m starving,” I told him.

He gave me a stern look as if I do not listen to what he says.

“Ahh... But yeah, I understood what you meant.”

I smiled sheepishly at him, praying that he was a little caring by any chance. Grabbing my arm, he stood up and I followed him.

“Geez... Can’t this man have a bit of affection?”

We eventually went downhill, in which a river stood with a stream of freshwater flowing with gravity. The mountains we see ahead have a massive range with peaks and valleys. We settled in a smoother area for a good foundation and stopped there. I helped him remove rocks, twigs, and other debris from the spot that we were going to pitch on for a flatter spot.

 He took out a folded tent from his bag and set it out on the ground. I could see the veins from his hands from watching him assemble the tent poles. “We have to pay attention to the direction of the wind,” he says. “Otherwise it might create tension on the stakes.”

“Yes, I’ll guard it.” I pulled his jacket closer hoping it would give me more heat, and I can smell his strong, musky scent from its fur neckline.

“Do you mind?” I walked 12 meters away from him and finally got to a tree I just saw ahead. Pulling my shorts down, I peed on the cold ground and sighed to my relief. Just then, I heard another howling probably uphill.

“Do you think there are wolves here?” I asked walking towards him, as he stood unbothered sipping from his wine bottle and his legs out to the air.

“I guess if you believe so.”

“Well, do you even care?” I could almost scream in fright.

“Don’t worry about it,” is all he said.

As the dawn is starting to rise, he took out a few canned goods and a sharp knife. We gathered some wood and lit up a fire as I stood there, rubbing my body and taking the extra warmth from the flames.

“I need you to wait here until I come back. Don’t try to escape, or the wolves will hunt you,” he said sarcastically.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m going out for a hunt.”

I watch him disappear into the distance carrying his knife attached to a wooden spear he tied up with a cloth a while ago.

"Come to me," I hear another buzz. I covered my ears because I just wanted to rest from it all and be set free.

 “It’s time,” the voice said once again.

 As the dawn rose, I looked up, bracing myself, and saw the heavy clouds overhead begin to lighten.

**

He had half-dozen cuts on his arms and a nasty slash on his side when he returned from the woods. He'd already killed five wolves hiding in the trees, four of whom he'd cut through and two of whom he'd tossed into the abyss behind him. He remembered their faces: hazel eyes, a hunger to fight even harder.

When he came back after about an hour he carried a dead wild deer by its neck with large antlers exposed and its stomach cut wide open.

“What happened to you?” I stood up, shocked at this man’s cuts. I quickly helped this stranger clean his blood, splashing water in his wounds for disinfection. I tore a piece of cloth from my shirt, accidentally showing my bare stomach, beads of sweat dripping down my face, and the man screaming in pain.

“I have to stop the wound,” I said, tying the cloth tightly on his hands and chest, applying pressure on both sides.

“Aaaah!” he screamed once again, harshly feeling his torment.

“Try not to move, I’m helping you out.”

After half an hour his bleeding eventually stopped and we began to keep moving. Despite our frustration, we managed to shift and drag more wood and charcoal for the fire to boost itself up.

                                       

To skin the deer, we hung it upside down from a gambrel on a meat pole. We raised it and secured it by punching a hole in the skin between the deer's knee and rear tendon for the gambrel. Initial cuts were made around the bends of each leg.

“Now you know how to skin a deer,” he chuckled, as he prepared the cuts on wooden sticks and cooked each of them by the fire.

Questions still overwhelmed me, and I filled him with my intrigue.

“What happened to you down there?”

“Did a bear attack you?”

He winced, but never answered, staring into space.

What is wrong with him? He still didn’t budge, so I asked another question. Who knew this man is picky with the questions he liked to answer?

If he had not returned I would die here alone, or wild animals would eat me for dinner, which is quite the opposite of what we’re about to do.

“Well... Have you been here a lot?”

“Quite so,” he grumbled.

I reached out my hand for him to shake, taking this opportunity to get to know him and maybe…he would lighten up.

“Hello, my name is Hotaru.” He glanced at me awkwardly and just sat there in silence.

“Ah... What’s your name?” I said, and believe me, I tried my best.

And he still didn’t answer.

Even though he never told me anything much, I never felt so safe in my life as this stranger made me feel. I love his presence, the way it's warm, but I'm also aware that some of that warmth disguised a dark history that is yet to come to light.

 I smiled to my heart’s content, looking at him, and back at the food, for now, I get to savor this lightly cooked juicy meat. When he began to eat, he decided to take off his mask but I got so frustrated when all I could see are hints of his blurry face…

“Hotaru, wake up!”

My mom stood in front of me, carrying a hanger she could have used to hit my leg slightly.

“Your alarm, crazy… it beeped 10 times and it hurt my ears,” she said, her arms flying everywhere and her voice loud like blasting rock music.

“Crazy child, never waking up…and aren’t you late for school?”

I checked the time. 10:45 am. “Geez, I skipped my first English subject,” I think to myself.

Quickly jumping in the shower, I shampooed my hair and thoroughly soaped and cleansed my body. After I stepped out of the shower, I abruptly dried myself up and wore my uniform, hurriedly heading outside.

 I hopped into the Tallahassee train station and I felt my body crushed by a swarm of people. “Hey!” A man shouted to another bald old man far ahead close to the driver’s seat. He tried to force and move the poor guy from his seat so he could get his place. The man stomped hardly on his toe and the other almost threw a punch in his face but paused for a minute. I saw him look around, and his eyes turned to me. I awkwardly moved when he walked towards my side, for some space became available when the pregnant lady finally took a seat when the other passenger went out. He looked rugged with his lip piercings and denim jacket with oil and black stains on his shirt. “I shall stay here, aye?” He smirked, winking at me. I kept silent and tried to move away from him as far as possible. I saw him look at me again upside down, staring at my uniform. Before I knew it, he slid his hand inside my skirt, reaching for my butt and squeezing it. I held back my scream but I busted into anger when I clenched my fists and strangled his neck. I could see him turn red from his veins, his mouth deeply shut in fear. But right now, all I could see is fire.

“Oh, you want more huh?” I raised my eyebrows at him.

With both of my little hands choking him, he strangely couldn’t push them away, and I am also surprised by the power I felt rushing through me, like a beast coming out of its cage. He struggled, wrestling my hands out of his neck. An old lady shouted behind me, as I see him open his mouth gagging to breathe and I wonder why I have never enjoyed something like this in my entire life. My hands gripped him tighter as I slowly put him up in the air.

“Ah.a-ahhh...”

 He muttered, swinging his hands to the side and everybody stood in shock in disbelief. Luckily, the train stopped half a mile away from school and I brought the poor man down. He lay there with his face all pale white when I smirked back at him and got out of the train. I got out with the others all silent as they turned to look at me, and one lady held her bag away from me, staring at me with dread on her face. 

I decided to walk my way to school, thinking nonstop about the reasons why I had that sort of strength, and why my fury is so outrageous. Suddenly, I realized the way I powerfully gripped him. “Oh, the man could have died!” I thought to myself, stricken with horror.

I tried to kill the burning questions surrounding my head and thought suddenly about a while ago. “Did I have a crazy dream?”

“My Gosh, I simply can’t remember, like all those dreams I recalled after I woke up are nothing compared to the strange dream I had last night. All I knew was maybe I had a terrible nightmare, and the alarm ringing ten times a while ago. Why haven’t I heard? I usually hear those loud noises even if I had a dozen more scary dreams.” I kept my head down, my hands in my head thinking, thinking, and thinking.

I arrived at school at about 11:50 am, climbing the stairs to the hallway. “Well, Hello and Good Morning, Madame Hotaru,” Calvin said, and trudged his way toward me. I turned away from looking at him. “And why, why, why is Queen Hotaru of this medieval and slightly Asian-looking castle looking grumpy and late today?”

“Shut up Calvin,” I hissed at him.

He made faces at me when Courtney showed up out of nowhere and hugged me from behind.

“We missed you!” She squealed.

“I have been gone, for only like 2 hours and you missed me,” I said to her reluctantly.

“Well of course. Don’t you remember the text we sent you?

“No.”

“My, what happened to you?” Courtney said, rolling her eyes at me.

She opened the door to our Biology class.

Professor Roger stood out to the class, and upon seeing us, he motioned with his finger to hurry up and take a seat.

Whenever I sit in his class, I think of birds chirping in the clouds above. Nothing angers Professor Roger, and I never saw him angry at all his sarcastic students. He kindly turns things around and makes fun of them and that’s what everybody loves about him. He is so peaceful. He wore his glasses neatly, with a very good posture for a 6-foot-tall man. Every day I see him wearing his suit and carrying his brown leather bag.

“I need you guys to study reptiles today. Next week we will be dissecting a frog in our science lab and please be there for that will serve as your unit test,’’ he said, consistently raising his glasses.

When the bell rang, Courtney took my arm along with Calvin as we head towards the door.

Mr. Roger stopped me at his seat.

“I’ll meet you guys outside,” I told them.

“Hotaru, I’m warning you about strict early attendance. This isn’t the first time that you’re late,” he says, his voice so calm and soothing.

“I’ll take note of that, sir. I’m sorry.”

“Well, then,” he turned his head to the side, his cleft chin showing up, wishing I could touch his hair and kiss his handsome face. “You may go. But, do you want to hear a joke?” He jesters.

“Oh. Haha. Of course, Mr. Roger, Sure,” I couldn’t help but feel my cheeks blush with his cute sense of humor.

He started.

“Oh! So you were in Yale?

“Yes.”

“When?” He said, funnily raising his voice.

“Yuly 1997 to Yune 1999!”

I giggled at his silly joke, which he always makes to lighten up the class.

I said goodbye to him as he reminded me of our homework.

“He just warned me of being late,” I told my friends as soon as they glared at me with questions in their minds.

As soon as we got to the cafeteria, Calvin spoke.

“Mom and Dad are going on a trip for five days,” he said with excitement as he told us about their dinner last night, as he sat eating his burger and half-bitten apple.

“Where are they going?” Courtney asked.

“Dad wants to go to Hawaii and Mom is very enthusiastic about it. They wanted to change plans so they could invite me there for the summer but I told them that I wanted to go to Mexico to learn some salsa,” he winked.

“And meet some chicas,” Courtney said, laughing at both of me and Calvin.

“Oooh, you’re smart, Princesa,” Calvin said.

“So that led me to think, How about we celebrate and throw a party tomorrow night?”

Courtney and I looked at each other, flushed with excitement.

“Sure!” we both squealed.

“Let’s help each other with the groceries then.”

While listening to them gossip heartily, I opened my lunchbox and slowly ate my curry rice.

“You are strangely quiet today my friend,” Calvin tapped me on the shoulder.

“Yeah, I’m sorry,” offering them my sushi rolls.

“Geez. Your mom cooks so well, I’d probably marry her,” Calvin muttered.

Courtney eyed him.

“Tell her…”

“Hmmm...” Courtney took a bite and spilled her tea as she leaned towards me, so much so that I can smell the carrot fries that she dipped in mayonnaise from her breath. “So as I was saying, Hotaru. Last night Calvin and I went to Bonita’s Diner and ordered new beef tortillas and cheesy tacos on their menu which is so good. And then a man came in with a black leather jacket, carrying old books with him. He sat on a table opposite us and he read all night. Mind you, he just ordered a milkshake. We did our homework there last night and Mrs. Mississippi (that’s what he calls Mrs. Sherlyn the waitress for she told us numerous times that she was born in Mississippi.) We saw that he was alone and stressed out so we offered to buy him some nachos, and he politely refused. My Gosh, He looks so cute, Hotu. He had the most beautiful set of eyes. I stupidly went to the counter and asked Mrs. Sherlyn about him, and all she said was he is a savior. When I asked why, she shrugged and stood silent, which was weird.” “Just then,” Courtney said, raising her voice, “We saw two masked men come in with guns in their hands pointing at me and Mrs. Sherlyn.

“Open the cash register,” the taller man implied to her. Hotu, if you only knew the fright on our faces. Calvin’s face was bloody red, and I sat there whimpering, thinking I would die. It was only the three of us then because it was past 10 pm and the shop is about to be closed. Then Mr. Savior got up and, like a flash, clutched the man’s hands with the greatest strength so that his cocky gun fell to the ground. Just as the other man is about to punch him, he took his other arm and made him queasy. He then grappled their necks together like he would bump them from head to head and as the other nearly stumbled; he took out his injection and injected them with something that made them both fall asleep. We were all terrified, Hotu. Calvin called 911 after that and the police arrested them while asleep.” “Could you believe it, Hotu?” Calvin exclaimed. “We thought we were in a movie. It’s an adrenaline rush.”

“And yet you just stood there in shock without doing anything,” Courtney told him.

“Okay, and if I moved slightly further, Courtney, we’d both be dead by now and thanks that I called the police,” Calvin said sarcastically.

“When we finally saw the police cars, Mrs. Sherlyn told us to go home and she thinks that they would maybe temporarily close the diner as the policemen demanded her for further investigation.”

“Well, at least Mr. Nerdy Savior is there to help the earth,” she blushed. 

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  • A Cat's Tale (The Secret Desires of Hotaru Nyanko)   Four: 燃える記憶 Burning Memories

    (Shin’s P.O.V.) I watched the flames burn around the house as the firefighter stood beside me in his truck. “Moooom!” Dad was rushed into the hospital that night, trying to save Mom and get her out of the house. Earlier that night, everyone was sleeping. I was still in my pajamas when I heard whispers inside the corners of the walls call out to me. “Come here,” they said, getting louder and louder. So, I got up and squeezed my teddy bear tight, afraid of the shadows looking up beneath me. Just then, Mina showed up to me meowing from downstairs. Something was going on, I couldn’t tell. There is a putrid smell coming down from below, and I covered my nose because I couldn’t breathe well. “Mama,” I hurried beside her. She was still sleeping. “Don’t worry, my darling. I’m here,” I remember her saying when I woke up in the middle of the night so she can let me lie beside her. But this time, she is not waking up. I shake her again using my fragile little hands. “Momma,” I look

  • A Cat's Tale (The Secret Desires of Hotaru Nyanko)   Five: 贈り物 (Gift)

    1985(Shin's P.O.V.)The next morning my grandma woke me up for work. She pushed open my windows, and my eyes turned away blindly from so much brightness coming through them. I remembered flashbacks of our family having a picnic. I was playing kite with dad, and the next moment he gave my mom some coke from the icebox, and she sipped carefully. Slowly after that, they burst into an argument, luckily there were not many people to see or hear.It was something that a young boy like me, could never understand. It's crazy that when we get older, those memories that we never knew come up together in our mind, solving themselves in their way like a puzzle combined with a realization."You know she moved us all here, right!?" She screamed out from the top of her lungs, with her blonde hair shining from the sun."Yes," my father insisted. "You know it's for the best!""You and your family." Y'all only want your kind of best," she said, walking away from us and taking the car with her.It was

  • A Cat's Tale (The Secret Desires of Hotaru Nyanko)   Six: トーナメント (Tournament)

    Courtney and I sat in the bleachers, and I continue to sip my cola from the red cup. Mrs. Penn was away for a while and she had the library closed, so I took the chance to watch our sports events. While we cheered and shouted, Calvin, squeezed himself in through the crowd holding a box of pizza. He quickly handed out a piece to us and I hungrily took a bite."Go, Max!" Courtney shouted at the running tracks, where her boyfriend ran the 100-meter sprint. I look up to stare at everyone watching and I saw a glimpse of Dave.He looked very handsome with a slight beard growing out from his upper lip. He then stood up and shouted in the distance, supporting his friend from the team. As he sat down, he reached out for a bottle of water the water guy and turned his gaze in my direction."Shit," I muttered under my breath.He must have seen me. I pretended not to care and gobbled my pizza, which is a good way to distract him. I looked on his way again. He disappeared. The game lasted for at le

  • A Cat's Tale (The Secret Desires of Hotaru Nyanko)   Seven: 見えざる手 (Invisible Hand)

    I guess that girl is me. Like a cat that can smell anything from a distance I can feel my eyes hard as fire and my body as cold as ice. I reached for the cell phone in my pocket, and I take one step closer without even having a definite path or destination. All I know is that something called me, and I am sure of that. I turned on the flashlight of my phone and I could see my shadows everywhere. The wind hushed louder as I flashed my tiny light into the trees, leaving the earthy aroma on my nose while some of the torn leaves flew in the direction of the wind. As the wind blew against the trees, I could hear music playing in my ears as the leaves continued to dance and swing in perfect rhythm. I continued to go on further. I remember that March in advance is particularly breezy, at least that’s what my science teacher said.I look up, hearing the sounds of whistling and piping. It was such a high, deafening pitch that I needed to cover my ears from hearing it. I felt like I clumsily st

  • A Cat's Tale (The Secret Desires of Hotaru Nyanko)   Eight: 奇妙な村 (Strange Village)

    There stood a thick branch by my feet, and I pick it up and swing it around in an exploration, soothed by the weight and rough bark. I’m still panting from the attack, but I am careful of making too much noise; so, I brush aside the small branches, searching for something I may or might not want to see. Leaves a crack to my left. The sound that calls me comes again, footsteps crunching over leaves and branches, circling behind me. My body is paralyzed as a result of my chilled blood. I won't risk looking behind me. I'm still using a piece of leaf to conceal my wound because I know that if I don't make it, I'll die in these woods. Sometimes I suddenly recall who I am and where I am, along with the mental image of the aluminum bleachers, but that is useless right now.I guess it will take a miracle for me to find someone from these trees.The snapping of twigs is getting closer, and shallow breaths are only a little behind me. My fingers fall off the branch as my legs begin to weaken. I

  • A Cat's Tale (The Secret Desires of Hotaru Nyanko)   Nine: パジャマパーティー (Pajama Party)

    The boy reached for his pockets and handed out me and let out a flour-coated hard candy and watched me gobble it in hunger. He laughed at me hysterically.There was also a river from behind that wall, ten meters away from us, and the mountains stood before me like giants waiting to devour me.Wondering to myself when the dawn will start, I bathed myself in the most invigorating way.After I finished, I saw him lying on his back behind a tree.I laid down my back on the cold ground, and I watched him as he pointed out his fingers to the night sky. I slowly laughed at how incredibly grateful he is that he found a friend like me, and I marveled at the very thought that this journey is special and that this boy saved my life.That night I had a crazy dream.“Could you pass me the hot sauce, Hotu?“Yeah, sure. Here.”I pass the hot sauce to Courtney, while she poured more into her pizza. We were all dressed in pink pajamas, and my pale, light skin stood out the most from their tanned ones

  • A Cat's Tale (The Secret Desires of Hotaru Nyanko)   Ten: 棚の移動 (Moving Shelves)

    I looked at the shelf once again, and a thick book came out.Hmmm…What is going on? I questioned. What in the world is happening?I thought as I thought that perhaps this spot will have some solutions inside. The area had good sunlight coming through the windows, and the surface may have been made of translucent tiles like the color of old wood, something between light brown and peach, butFrom the inside, I couldn't find the windows I had seen on the outside. In reality, even though I had only moved a short distance, I was now unable to see the walls in any way. There were bookcases in place of that.I rise to the ceiling and branch out from the wide-open corridor into rows and rows of bookshelves.I started walking below, and I see a hallway to my right. I took a cautious turn into one of the hallways and paused to look at the seemingly infinite number of books with astonishment.There were volumes everywhere I looked, stacked on crooked racks that could as well have been ignored.

  • A Cat's Tale (The Secret Desires of Hotaru Nyanko)   Eleven: 母の声 (Mother's voice)

    Shin1985The sound was so loud and clear, yet I don’t know what it was or which way to go. As a young boy hurdling my way through the empty unnamed streets, it was the scariest thing I have ever encountered. I could feel the weight behind my shoulders, and the gut feeling that something is wrong. My stomach rumbled. I am hungry; I wonder what Grandma cooked for today. I could feel the heat in my shorts, so I went to the forest to pee.The roaring laughter now blasted through my ears, and I couldn’t find a way to stop it; so, I hid under the tree beside me and sat for a moment.There was an unbearable stillness and I felt sick to my stomach.I searched in my pockets for a biscuit, and luckily, I found one.For a moment I fell asleepWhen I open my eyes, everything was still silent, and I could feel somebody watching me.I sat silently, while I try my best to hear the sound- footsteps.I can hear shoes walking here and there.I raised my knees in front of me, my mood switching to anoth

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  • A Cat's Tale (The Secret Desires of Hotaru Nyanko)   

    Nineteen: 秘密の旅 (A Secret Trip)

    "So, this time, what do you want? “At first, I had my doubts about your ability to find the Lotus, let alone take it; however, now that you have succeeded, I desire it for myself. Am I being understood? "I guess so," I replied after pausing to look him in the eyes directly, temporarily diverting his attention.He hesitated before continuing, "As for you." I'm all right. "At the first sign of resistance, I'll kill you! In a low, somewhat sexy voice, I replied, "I don't mean to oppose at all. My right hand slid to the side of my pocket at the same time, thinking to myself that it could conceal a laser gun. Before anyone could know what was occurring, I shoved the prince away from me and fired twice. Two of the troops dropped on the ground dead after being taken off guard by my sudden onslaught.The soldier seized the chance right away, and with a swift motion of his arms, he was able to escape the people who were holding him captive. As the remaining soldiers quickly moved to the side a

  • A Cat's Tale (The Secret Desires of Hotaru Nyanko)   

    Eighteen: アルゲザの兵士 (Algeza Soldiers)

    All the monsters then collapsed into heaps of ashes or fried jelly that had once been their flesh. Nevertheless, for a brief period, their queen was still alive. She said, having reclaimed half the mermaid's form, "You should do the same to the witch who sold the world and you, Hotaru." Before it was too late and all the force was lost, I closed my eyes in a daze. I tried to picture this in every detail since I wanted to leave that place quickly and desperately wished I was back in my spacecraft, far from that planet. The world started to disappear and shift quickly in front of my eyes, as if in a magical vision, but I knew it was much more than that. Then, a loud hum rang deafeningly inside my skull.Even though it was leaving its solar system, I continued to perceive the rising sun as being surrounded by enormous sea waves, creating the appearance of an unsettling cosmic vortex outside my window to the cosmos. Gubimu was also present, standing next to me. I'm not sure why; perhaps

  • A Cat's Tale (The Secret Desires of Hotaru Nyanko)   

    Seventeen: 人魚、魔女、モンスター (Mermaids, Witches and Monsters)

    The scenery around me was stunning: On my right, in front of a crystal temple, high rocks surround a turquoise waterfall with a narrow river that wound through it. There lay masses of dark brown stone, with the river glistening in the sunlight such as the lustrous shine of diamonds. On my left, the calm, emerald sea reflected a massive sun rising above violet-hued volcanoes in the distance, amid a canopy of flame. White bird flocks were taking off in the air. Almond trees in full bloom with thick limbs crowned the singular panorama. I exhaled a sigh of relaxation since I knew I was at the ideal location, considering there was no land anywhere else in the universe as real and enchanting as this scene in my head.My one and only friend, Gubimu, was also present and, unbelievably, ruler of this semi-material planet, appealing as usual. He seems so naive and unpredictable, active, and restless sitting on a cliff, perhaps in a dream as we admired the magnificent daybreak. I walked up to hi

  • A Cat's Tale (The Secret Desires of Hotaru Nyanko)   

    Sixteen: 私に頭を下げて (Bow Down To Me)

    I quickly became aware that my eyes were open and saw very unfamiliar things.I stared at the boy. He appeared to be physically weak from the way his head moved.I wonder how he had slept, and for how long? Were there any voices and if so; how did the voices sound like? And the ups and downs, like the sound of breaking waves on pebbles? I watched him as he stretched out a clumsy hand to get his bread from his pocket where he always kept it and touched something slick and hard, perhaps glass. He was very surprised by this because it was so unexpected. He suddenly rolled over, gave me a brief momentary gaze, and then fought to sit up. I see that he was surprised by how challenging the effort was, which made him thrilled, weak, and dizzy.I helped him stand up as he rubbed his eyes. The puzzle of our surroundings was confusing to both of us but his mind was very clear, it was obvious that his sleep had helped him. He was not in a bed at all and I guess he will never know what a bed is-as

  • A Cat's Tale (The Secret Desires of Hotaru Nyanko)   

    Fifteen: ホーム スイート ホーム (Home Sweet Home)

    As I got back home, I saw Mama at the front door, waiting for me to come home. "Mai-bebi, why are you so late?" She cried.“I just visited some new library, Mama.” There's really strange stuff there, I thought; but of course, I never said it."How's your sleepover Hotu?""It was good, Mama. The girls are terrific.""I'm also hungry," I whined."Sure, baby. I prepared some sushi in the kitchen," she said.I look at our dining table, my mouth watering in hunger.The okazu looks so yummy.The primary okazu is typically a protein-based meal, such as grilled fish or a beef dish. A vegetable dish or one with more protein, like a bean dish, may be served as the secondary okazu. Typically, each item is presented in its container. Particularly the secondary okazu are frequently served family style, with each diner taking their share. Typically, when we eat our normal Japanese dinner, we take the rice bowl in our hands and then nibble on bits of various okazu. On occasion, we put the rice bowl

  • A Cat's Tale (The Secret Desires of Hotaru Nyanko)   

    Fourteen: 逃げる (The Escape)

    "Hey!"He shouted; and quickly I blew a fist at him, knocking him out.The other guards came at me while I punched the first guy in the face while elbowing the other one in his stomach."Stop right there!"Coming out of the dark is the woman again, wearing another flowing outfit.The other guys flocked in beside her as if there was a huge commotion."Let this old man go, or I'll kill each one of you," I said.They all busted into laughter, while the guards winced in pain."On one condition."The woman looked me up and down."This man will only leave if you fought all these guys and you have shown me what you got."I smirked. "That's alright with me."The bald guy stepped in closer.He threw a fist at me.I raised my head, striking back to his chin and punching his stomach.He flew back."Ow!"He whined."Is that all you got?"says the other one.Goodness, if they want me dead, they could have shot me right now.The other guy even undressed his coat and started playing punch gestures.

  • A Cat's Tale (The Secret Desires of Hotaru Nyanko)   

    Thirteen: ドアを開けて (Open Door)

    “What do you want?” asked the old man.“Please, I beg you.” Set us free.I wondered as my stomach grumbled and my throat dried up, how I had gotten myself into this situation. The hard, chilly floor echoed with a faraway thump that rang in my ear. Someone was approaching.I recalled slowly the night came. Had I fallen or was I the victim of a blow from him? As I see the figure moving closer to me, my tongue became firmly attached to the roof of my mouth. The streetlight that shined from behind the faceless, bulky man wearing the grey hoodie guaranteed a sense of security. He was now approaching. It was gloomy. How much time had I spent here? I was having trouble determining my surroundings as my head hurt. It was agonizing to be tortured. Stab. Smash. Bruise. As our attacker approached, I tried to filter out his terrifying thoughts and come up with a strategy. I looked around the blank space. Every object was tarnished by dust, which merely added to the already excessive clutter in t

  • A Cat's Tale (The Secret Desires of Hotaru Nyanko)   

    Twelve: 危険に巻き込まれた (Caught by Danger)

    Shin1995I work at a local coffee shop downtown at Barry's. I knew I had to step up because my father was always away, and grandma Wida is getting older and older by the day.I finished high school, but I could not put myself through college, considering the reality that I do not have much support."You are a warrior, my child." she would always say."You are born to be a fighter."Now by then, I didn't know what she was talking about, but as time goes by; I realized she was right.Deep within me is a surging power no one should ever know.Growing up after that memory in the forest was both a blessing and a curse. I immediately felt a power developing inside of me that is very unnerving. I remember this one moment when I sent my work application to Barry’s. After the interview, I saw a huge truck and there came out three guys, five steps behind their target who is an old man with grey hair holding a suitcase, and those guys began staring and nodding at each other. They planned it at

  • A Cat's Tale (The Secret Desires of Hotaru Nyanko)   

    Eleven: 母の声 (Mother's voice)

    Shin1985The sound was so loud and clear, yet I don’t know what it was or which way to go. As a young boy hurdling my way through the empty unnamed streets, it was the scariest thing I have ever encountered. I could feel the weight behind my shoulders, and the gut feeling that something is wrong. My stomach rumbled. I am hungry; I wonder what Grandma cooked for today. I could feel the heat in my shorts, so I went to the forest to pee.The roaring laughter now blasted through my ears, and I couldn’t find a way to stop it; so, I hid under the tree beside me and sat for a moment.There was an unbearable stillness and I felt sick to my stomach.I searched in my pockets for a biscuit, and luckily, I found one.For a moment I fell asleepWhen I open my eyes, everything was still silent, and I could feel somebody watching me.I sat silently, while I try my best to hear the sound- footsteps.I can hear shoes walking here and there.I raised my knees in front of me, my mood switching to anoth