An angel’s road to hell

29. Of the past, the presence and a little bit of symbiosis (1)

Ahri Arete

About 7 years ago

It was my twelfth birthday! Finally I’d be a full member of our family. Tonight, grandma would take me to the crystal cave where all the memories of our past had been stored and I would come to know our purpose and what part I would be allowed to play. It was one of our secrets, the Arete family was old, very old. We had migrated to this planet ages ago, the why and how weren’t common knowledge and I was curious to finally come to know the reasons.

I had grown up in a small family of four, I had a little sister, Emilia and two amazing parents, Mathilda and Eugene. We were all rather slender kitsune with fluffy tails and brown eyes. My grandmother was really old with five tails, she even had some strands of grey in her white fur, a trait we all shared. The white fur, not the grey strands. We lived in a small colony consisting of seven families, 34 kitsune all in all. Our home was a small island somewhere in the north of the archipelago with harsh winters and mild and soothing summers. The island was huge, several hundred kilometres across and we shared it with a colony of human miners and some elves who hadn’t established a town but rather roamed freely all over the place. We didn’t maintain close contact to either but from time to time we would trade with the humans or welcome an elf who wandered closely to our home. The island was mostly covered in dense forest, pine trees, oaks and firs dominated the landscape. It was a mountainous place with several summits reaching way past the tree line, their icy heights covered in snow all year long. Bears, wolves, elks and deer were the true rulers of this region. Our home was located in a valley near the southern cliffs of the island. Surrounding a central oak which had stood there for longer than anyone could remember, a cluster of trees had been turned into an airy village, the buildings nestled on the branches and into the trunks.

My people spent most of their time striving for perfection in one art or the other. We had great scholars, warriors and hunters but also artists, storytellers and mages. To me, there couldn’t be a more perfect spot in the world and I was really looking forward to become a fully fledged part of our community. All that was left was my first hunt, an old tradition that signalled the end of childhood and the beginning of the adult life. I would have to hunt down a wolf, the uncrowned king of our little world, alone, to prove I was ready to take on the responsibilities of providing for and sheltering the younger members of our community.

So, the sun found me, cowering in a snowy tree in the middle of winter, some kilometres away from our village, intently focused on an old wolf who had been left behind by his pack. He was emaciated but still carried himself with a predatory grace. His every breath left a white cloud of vapour in the air. Nature was cruel, if you couldn’t keep up you would be ousted to not burden the group. I felt pity for the old animal, one of the reasons I had picked him, a quick death would be preferable to the slow starvation fate had in store for him otherwise. My hand tightened around my weapon, a long and slim blade my father had given to me for my 7th birthday. It was a long dagger, a sword even to my small stature and I had always carried it around with me. I was fascinated with every kind of sharp weapon, but daggers and blades were by far my favourite.

I prepared myself to lunge from the branch I was perched on and drive my blade into his neck, it would be a clean end, unexpected and painless. My muscles tightened and I could feel a bead of sweat run down my forehead. The silent forest bore witness as I took aim and propelled myself down from my seat. Like a bird of prey I dove towards my target.

Something went wrong, I couldn’t say if the wolf had sensed my movement or if I had made a sound when I had kicked off the branch but when I flew through the air, his body tensed and he looked up, directly into my eyes. A snarl formed on its face and it wheeled to the right, narrowly dodging my strike. I slammed into the cold earth and I could feel my bones creak and groan under the impact. My blade had burrowed itself deeply into the ground and the hilt had slammed into my middle with a crushing force.  It I couldn’t give my body any time to recuperated, I had to move or I would be the prey and I was sure the wolf wouldn’t botch his attack. With a groan I rolled around and tried to free my blade to defend myself. It was stuck. No matter how hard I pulled and wiggled, my dagger remained motionless as if it had pierced stone rather than cold earth.

With a growl the wolf charged, taking advantage of my prone position. My instinct kicked in and I abandoned the blade to roll out of the way. I couldn’t possible fight a grown wolf, even it it was an old one, without a weapon and the advantage of an ambush. I had to run! Before I could get up though, claws raked along my back and pain spread along my nerves like liquid fire. I screamed and scrambled to get back on my feet. The wolf’s charge had missed me by a few centimetres but his claws had left deep gashes on my skin when it had tumbled past. The wolf slid along the ground for a few meters before it regained its balance, turned around and fixated me with a stare that turned my blood into ice. Disregarding the pain I got up and ran for the nearest tree. I had to climb, maybe I could wait for help in the canopy. I could hear the soft footfalls of the wolf close behind and from the rhythm I was sure it was running at full speed towards me. When I heard the louder crunch with which it jumped off the ground to crash into my back I rolled to the side. A shadow sailed past me and hit the tree with a sickening noise. Unfortunately I hadn’t been able to dodge completely and another deep cut appeared on my arm, bleeding freely and sending waves of pain and numbness through my side. The wolf was shaken as well, it had crashed into the tree I had been aiming for and was struggling to get back on its feet. This was my chance, I had to move, now. It took everything I had left in me but I managed to take the last few steps and hurl myself up onto a branch despite the searing agony that every movement sent through my body. I managed to climb up another few meters before I collapsed onto a wide branch. My beaten body was shivering in the cold and the warm flow of blood soaked through my clothes, robbing me of the much needed protection against the deadly temperatures. I wanted to cry out for help but I couldn’t muster the strength.

When the adrenaline slowly faded, I could feel my body shutting down. My vision turned dark and the sounds and smells of the forest slithered farther and farther away from me. A peaceful warmth claimed me and chased away the pain. I closed my eyes, only for a moment, but instead of blackness, a fuzzy, gentle light welcomed me. There was no sensation, no sounds, only the light all around me. I felt secure and sheltered as I drifted along, my worries all but forgotten.

“Hello Ahri, you’re not looking too good, are you?” A soft voice pulled me out of my stupor. I was still in the same place but I could see a blurry figure close to me, now. It was tall and slender, human in appearance except for two pairs of wings on its back. They were huge, at least as large as the figure itself and the only part of it I could discern clearly, they were made of flames, a fiery red glow that shone warmly. I wasn’t surprised or alarmed, in my current state of mind I would blindly accept things as they were, I didn’t care too much, but a sliver of curiosity still remained: “Who are you? Why are you here?” I asked.

“Now, that’s a long story. One I’m going to tell you eventually but at the moment it doesn’t matter. Do you know what’s happening to you?”

“I’m dying, aren’t I? Are you a hallucination?” She laughed at me, her voice made it clear she was female, it was silky and low like a the colours of a sunset on the ocean. But it wasn’t in a condescending fashion, rather like I would laugh at Emilia when she said something childish.

“Yes you are, for now, but I’m not a figment of your imagination. I’m quite real, watch.” She took a step forward and her hand caressed my cheek, the touch soft and light but yet more real than everything else I had experienced in this place. When our skin made contact, a ripple ran along her form, dispersing the shadows that clung to her figure. She was beautiful, more so than anyone else I had ever seen. Azure eyes dominated a regal face with perfectly aligned features. Wavy red hair dropped down her back, gently flowing along her perfect curves and in between her four fiery wings. “What are you?” Was all I managed to stammer. She laughed again.

“I’m an angel, one of the few real immortals. And I’m here to offer you a choice.” Her expression turned serious as she continued: “I know it’s not really fair but we don’t have much time, so listen closely. Here is what’s going on. You are lying on a branch in the forest, severely wounded and hypothermic. You’re family is already on the way, looking for you, but they won’t reach you before your heart will stop. I can save you, but it will come at a price.” Her eyes left mine and her gaze grew distant before she resumed: “to cut a long story short, I can bind myself to one of the members of your family, if they are close to death, fuse our two existences if you so will. Let’s leave my reasons out of it for a minute but for you it’d mean a new life. You will survive, your wounds will vanish but you’ll become someone else. My desires, my mistakes, my past, all of it will become a part of you and you will have to deal with every ugly thing that comes with it. I can tell you right now that facing a wolf would soon seem like a nice vacation.” I didn’t know what to say but she didn’t expect a reply anyways:

“I… I made a grave mistake and I’m trying everything I can to make it right.” A tear, gleaming like a crystal, ran down her face. “If you’re willing, my redemption will become yours, you’ll have to take over for me and live a life full of hardships and trials, protecting someone you have never met before. Most…most would prefer a clean rebirth, for their soul to continue on into a new life. If you accept my offer, that path will be closed to you for good, you won’t be entirely mortal anymore, your soul won’t be reborn ever again. But not everything is all doom and gloom, you might live for ever, you can spend more time with your family and your going to meet the most infuriating person in the multiverse and tag along on his adventures.” She smiled again while she said that. “Trust me, that alone is worth a lot.” Her eyes focused back on me before she stated: “your time is running out. You have to make a decision, Ahri Arete. Do you want to die in the cold or do you want to face an uncertain future full of enemies and dangers you don’t yet know?” Silence reigned between us while she waited for my reply. A part of me still believed she was a hallucination, brought about by blood loss and my freezing brain but it didn’t matter much either way. If she wasn’t real, I’d die no matter what I said and if she was… well, than I had two more questions:

“I want to know why, if what you’re saying is true, why can’t you just do everything on your own? And I want to know, why me? Shouldn’t there be others who could help you much better than a child who failed in her first hunt?”

“The second question is easily answered: you’re the first of the Arete family to enter the realm between life and death since I decided to start anew and you might very well be the last one before it’s too late. The answer to your first question is a little more complicated. I’m bound by oaths I can’t break. I have to change, become someone else, to do what I think needs to be done. Remember the person I said you’d meet eventually? I think he’s our only chance to preserve our freedom and he needs help, protection and someone to lo… to rely upon. He’s trying to change the multiverse and this time I’m going to make sure he will succeed, with your help if you want to.”

“Who is he? Why is he so important?”

“He is… was the love of my life, another angel who died and was reborn on this planet not too long ago. I can’t tell you more than this, my oaths prevent me from speaking freely, but know that he died so you and other mortals can live their lives in freedom. He’ll probably go down the same road once again and I want you, or rather us, to be by his side this time around.” Honestly, it didn’t sound too bad. Sharing an existence with an angel, protecting another one and saving the world? Even if my life wasn’t hinging on my decision I would be tempted to say yes and I really didn’t want to die. I wanted to live, to see the world, fall in love and experience all the ups and downs along the way. The longer I thought about it, the less of a question it became.

“Yes, I’ll help you. What do I need to do?”

“Close your eyes, it’ll be over in a moment. Just one more thing, you won’t remember me for quite some time, not until you’re ready and experience something undeniably related to what I just told you. The only thing you will remember… well, you’ll see.” I did as I was told and closed my eyes. I could feel her approaching me and then warmth all around. I thought she had enveloped me in her wings. It didn’t hurt but I felt the fire on my skin, slowly seeping through. Now it hurt. Heat swallowed me and my world turned into raging flames. I could feel them burning within, becoming a part of me and filling me to the brink. I screamed and just when I thought I couldn’t take it anymore, everything turned dark.

I came to in the middle of a still smoking clearing. Everything around had been ravaged by flames, even the corpse of the wolf I had hunted had turned into a smouldering pile of coal. What had happened? I remembered dropping down onto the wolf, ready to kill it but then… I couldn’t say. My hand was curled around my dagger, deeply stuck into the earth and blood covered my torn clothes but I wasn’t wounded. No, I felt great, better than ever before, full of energy and vitality. Had I hit my head? I tried to reconstruct what had happened but I came up blank. Well, not entirely, a picture was stuck in my mind. A small kitsune, freshly born but with two tails on its back and glowing silver eyes reached for me. There was nothing else, but I knew she was important to me. Much more so than I could say with words. A nearly irresistible urge to protect her flowed through me. I knew she was somewhere to the south, probably in the kitsune kingdom of the five families. I had to go there, I had to make sure she was alright and I had to know who she was and what she was doing in my dreams. It never occurred to me that she could be a fantasy. I knew she was as real as my little sister who had wished me good luck this morning and I knew she needed me, even more so than little Emilia.

“Ahri, Ahri where are you? Can you here me?” Shouts brought me back to reality, my family was looking for me. I must have been unconscious for quite some time, the sun was already sinking low behind the trees. They were probably sick with worry.

“I’m here, I’m fine! Just follow the scent of burning wood, you can’t be far away!” I got up and retrieved my dagger with a little effort. I broke two fangs out of the charred wolf, a trophy that would allow me to be initiated into our community and turned towards the voices I had heard. After a minute, my father, mother and two friends of the family came sprinting towards me, anxiety plain on their faces. I rushed forward to meet them and was immediately pulled into a family hug while they already started questioning me.

“What happened? Why are you covered in blood? Did you burn down the clearing on purpose? I didn’t know you could control fire! When did that happen? By the great fox, did you sprout a second tail?” I just relaxed into the embrace, I couldn’t answer their questions, I didn’t even know that I had gotten a second tail. Maybe grandmother would be able to shed some light on what had happened.