An angel’s road to hell

6. Of testings, paths and a little bit of destiny

Cassandra Pendragon

5 days later

A small procession passed through a hidden gate in Boseiju’s trunk. My father carried me delicately in his arms. Behind us, my mother, Ahri and the two personal guards of my father followed along. When we passed through the gate and left the moon-lit, starry night, a new world awaited. We entered a winding tunnel, leading downwards in gentle swoops. The walls consisted of wood, glowing lightly with translucent sap that flowed within. The air was warm and moist. It smelled of earth, cherries and age. My eyes pierced the gloom and I could make out a myriad of tiny insects, shuffling away from the giant intruders who invaded their kingdom. My skin tingled from the sheer amount of energy present.

Our path through that living realm continued on. We had traveled for a good 10 minutes, descending deeper beneath Boseiju’s roots, when I could make out the faint gurgling of water, sloshing somewhere in front of us. After a final turn, the walls of the tunnel receded and we found ourselves in a huge cavern, directly beneath Boseiju’s trunk. My gaze roamed over two gargantuan roots, branching out to support the ceiling. Stalagmites and stalactites grew towards one another, emitting a faint greenish light. From the tips of the roots, droplets of translucent water dripped into two deep ponds directly underneath. From the ponds, two small streams flowed into the darkness, vanishing deep inside the cave. The musical drip drip drip of water breaking the ponds’ surface filled the air.

Between the two ponds a small altar had been erected. It resembled a living branch with a flat top. Just enough space to place a child upon. A haggard form, hidden underneath a long, bark-blue cloak waited for us. I couldn’t see its face but from its size, its hunched stature and the bulges on its lower back I thought it might have been an old kitsune.

“I knew you would come before the allotted time, third king of the lands above.” A low voice greeted us. It gave of the feeling of scraping nails and dusty tombs. It put me on edge and my tails stiffened. An inaudible growl escaped my mouth.

“Wise one, many things have happened since the last testing. My daughter…”

“I know what transpired a few days ago. I felt the energies squirm and bent, even down here. It’s a good thing you didn’t wait another five years. Place her on the altar and don’t return until I call for you.”

My father, I was still in his arms, took a deep breath and started to move forwards, but with a couple of fast steps my mum overtook him, facing the old hag.

“Ancient one, I…”

“Don’t fret, Helena of the golden heart. I cannot say what the testing will reveal, but I know your daughter will endure. She might be too young, but I can feel that you will carry her back to the world of the living within the hour.”

The whispered reassurance soothed my mum. Me on the other hand, not so much. If I understood that relict correctly, there was a good chance to die during the testing. And what was that part about being too young? Is this whole thing rated? Parents be advised, consumption may lead to a change of character, revealed super-power or spontaneous combustion… It seemed like I didn’t have much of a choice either way, splendid.

Mother shuffled out of the way and my father placed me on the altar. They all left me alone afterwards - well, I say alone, but there was still the old crone looming over me. All I could do was stare after my family with hurt and teary eyes. Lucky me, because I spotted a gleaming streak of movement dropping out of the tunnel and vanishing into the shadows splattered all around the cavern before anyone else could notice. I wasn’t sure, but I thought I saw light reflecting off of four white tails before darkness swallowed them. Thank god for over-protective maids.

When the sound of footsteps had faded away, the creepy granny moved. She approached and stroked my tails and back with long, spindly fingers. Her hands were cold but surprisingly I didn’t feel revolted. Turning around to look at her more closely, I saw that she had removed her hood. An elderly face that still showed signs of her former beauty was adorned by hair turned grey with the wheel of time. She was blind, huge cataracts marred her eyes and the skin around them was scarred and puffy. Someone had done that to her. She sniffed the air and her ears twitched slightly. I could swear she turned her head minimally towards where I suspected Ahri had hidden, but she showed no reaction. Astonishingly, that destroyed face made her look…kind and wise. Like a gnarled tree, deformed through time but still upright and strong. I felt safe as she focused back on me, her ears turning to the front. A small smile tugged on the corners of her mouth.

“My, my, what have we here.” She inhaled deeply. “What a funny smell. Like your mother but there is more. Something like…Hmm… it makes me think of light… and stars…. we will see, won’t we?”

She took a step backwards and brought her hands together over her head in a wide arc. I could feel electricity build up in the air, the glow in the waters intensified and the smell of ozone permeated the cavern.

More and more drops of water rushed along the roots and filled the ponds. The forming waterfalls glistened in all the colours of the rainbow. When the witch, she obviously was one, brought her hands down, the water mirrored her movements forming a perfectly circular arc behind her. I could see through, but while I was watching, torrents of golden green energy burst forth from the water and filled the arc. The light was so intense, I had to close my eyes for a moment. Blinking away my tears, I saw a smooth surface, lightly shimmering in green and gold, filling the empty space. It was reflective, like a polished mirror, but I couldn’t see myself, there was only darkness. My blind companion shuffled over and looked into the mirror over my shoulder. Her reflection I could see. But it wasn’t the demolished version of before, she was young and whole. Her hair was golden and her eyes green, pretty close to Ahri’s colour. She had indeed been beautiful. Behind her, 3 ethereal version of herself stared back at us. All of them were naked, but crackling energies played around their curves, clothing them in blue, green and golden light respectively. Every image was crystal clear, except for the red one, it was hazy and sort of distorted. Even the red energies seemed spent and close to dying out. I supposed they represented her astral or energetically body, her life force and her soul. While her control over energy and the power of her soul hadn’t vaned, her life force was nearly spent. Was she old enough to die a natural death as a kitsune? That couldn’t be right. Maybe the images showed her fortitude in the respective realms of energy? Could she be a witch and a soul-master? Unlikely but possible.

Unfortunately my train of thought got rudely interrupted by a pinprick to my thumb:

“Hmm….the spell can’t take hold….never mind….just need a tiny bit of blood and…”

She flicked the drop of blood she had drawn from my thumb into the mirror. It sizzled in silver and blue for a second and the energies in the water took on the same hue. Her reflections disappeared and another figure emerged from the silvery depths. I couldn’t make out its features, they were blurred like the reflection on a rippling lake but it extended its right arm as if it wanted to touch me. I moved as if in a trance, raising my own hand, nearing the surface of the mirror. As soon as I touched the curtain of energy I felt a spark travel up my arm and I fell forward, right through the reflection.

I was in a mirror world, for want of a better world. There was only silvery nothingness around, filled with thousands of mirrors, they sprawled away into the distance and I could see no end to their ranks. I didn’t feel, hear or smell a thing I could only see mirrors over mirrors.

On instinct I tried to take a step forward and, hallelujah, it worked. Sort of. On close inspection I was a formless silvery wraith, I didn’t walk as much as I drifted forward. Goddamn, what had that old hag done to me? As I couldn’t think of anything else to do, I glided to a mirror and peered into its depth.

A stunningly beautiful kitsune with for tails, silvery fur and raven-black hair looked back at me. Her eyes shone like the full-moon and I felt captivated by that gaze. Wait a second! That was me, quite a bit older and fully grown, but that was still me. A version of myself with a small moon-stone tiara on her brow and dressed elegantly, like a queen. Behind her I could see the blurry outline of 3 more kitsune, one grown and two small children. Was that my future family? The one I was going to have when I became queen? I tried to take a peek at the face of my possible future husband but it remained a blur. The more I focused, the more distorted it became until suddenly a pair of azure eyes flashed in the mirror and it burst into red flames. Nothing remained but smouldering shards of glass. I felt quite unconcerned because I recognised the eyes immediately. I hadn’t remembered them until 5 days ago, but I wouldn’t forget them for the rest of my life. I wouldn’t marry a kitsune. Hell, if I couldn’t find Aurora I probably wouldn’t marry at all. That might sound quite crazy, because I only had one memory left of her, but that was enough. I knew how I felt, even if I couldn’t remember all the reasons why.

My inspection of the next mirrors went by quickly. I had realised what I was looking for. A future where I could see those azure eyes again and hear her voice outside of half-forgotten dreams. I became faster and faster, moving deeper into the mirror-maze. Reflections of wealth, power, tranquility or fame couldn’t tempt me, I flew through that maze. A small part of my mind realised the danger, especially for younger children. It was easy to indulge in dreams of a glorious future and lose sight of the things that really matter. Without Aurora I was pretty sure I would have become lost and wandered between the mirrors for all eternity. I wasn’t sure if my decisions in here had any real impact or if I could even leave through one of the mirrors, but I wasn’t going to risk it. I would search for her, even if it meant I’d stay here forever. I was also decently sure that that was the “testing”. Getting your priorities straight and deciding what’s really important to you.

After what seemed like ages I found myself in front of what I had been looking for. I didn’t look at my reflection but at the person besides me. She was tall, taller than me in any case. She had wavy red hair, flowing down to her waist. Her almond eyes reflected the light like sapphires and her fiery wings gave her appearance something regal. Her delicate features, with high cheekbones and a cute button nose were drawn into a smile. She smiled at me! Without checking my reflection or even pausing for just one moment i touched the mirror and light flooded my mind.

I felt something inside, a part of me that had always been there, but that I hadn’t embraced fully yet. No that’s not right. I wasn’t able to. My soul wasn’t mature enough yet to support that aspect of myself. If it came forth, it would hurt. It would tax my being with memories and power I couldn’t sustain yet. That was probably the reason why I had bled so much during the fight against the Furglows. And why I had those flashbacks along with an amazing amount of knowledge. They would kill me if I didn’t receive them nicely parcelled and spoon-fed step by step. I understood that my core was bound to my soul and that it’s energies were directed into the tattoo on my back so not to interfere with my natural development. I even knew what a core was. I was an angel after all. But, my wings would only unfurl if I opened my soul to my core completely and that was a terrible idea. Just thinking about that headache brought it back. Seems like I was not gonna fly anywhere. For now.

Unfortunately I didn’t get to reminisce much further as sight slowly returned to me. I was in… fucking space. Dark nothingness was all around me, interspersed with tiny dots of light. Each might have been a lonely star or a thriving system full of live. I had a hint of vague memories of blue or red suns, swirling nebulas, lively planets and oppressive black-holes. Before me, a path made of light lead towards a cluster of stars. Like a beautiful mosaic they formed a female figure, her slender curves hidden by a heavy shoulder-guard and a long cloak. She was clad in silver plate armour, engraved with stylised moons. Her hooded face was nigh invisible but for the silvery sheen of her glowing eyes. Behind her back 9 sleek silver tails fanned out, mirrored by a halo of blue-silver energy currents, clinging to her upper back and flowing off into space. She seemed to meditate, her head bowed slightly with a silvery spear held loosely across her folded legs.

I wanted to get closer, to glide forward but I realised I was back in my tiny body. Well, no time like the present to advance on my way to a perfectly mastered body. I gathered my strength, visualised the movement and… flopped helplessly about. Surprisingly I couldn’t convince my 2 years old body that I knew how to walk. I tried though, repeatedly.

Accepting defeat graciously I uttered my first coherent words: “Goddamn!” Hmm, my exercise over the last five days had worked. I had much finer control over my voice-box now.

Anyway, if I can’t walk there…Hmm…this should be all in my head, though, so I can’t “walk” anyhow. If I can’t get there it don’t have to get there. Maybe it’s some kind of riddle?

I scrutinised the cluster of stars closely. They formed a perfect sculpture but despite their symmetrical positioning, continues brightness and different colour nothing came to mind. So the clue should be in the image they formed.

I got here by choosing a future. Maybe this is the path leading there? Is the light the path I have to follow to achieve my goal? If so, is that meditating warrior what I have to become to meet Aurora again?

The Star-formed creature looked up, her hood vanishing in a shower of sparks. Two large eyes, glowing like two full moons, framed by raven-black hair focused on me. Her sublime features were lightened by a proud smile. She nodded, once, and my mind turned slowly dark. My last thought before drifting into dreams of stars and azure eyes was: if I grow up into that, I won’t ever complain. I’m sorry, but there is a good reason for a little vanity, won’t you agree?

When I woke up, Ahri was out in the open and she and the old crone - I should really get to know her name somehow - were busy staring at me with wide eyes.

“What happened?” I managed to croak. Yay me!

“You were gl…. Wait, you can talk? Cassy, since when can you talk?!” Ahri scooped me up and scrutinised my every inch. She even smelled me.

“Calm down, Ahri, let her breath. I think I can answer most of your questions.” The old hag turned towards me: “And my name is Greta, your highness.” She even managed a small curtesy.

Taking time to wrap my tongue around every syllable I answered: “It’s an honour to meet you, wise one. Please, could you explain what happened? I am curious as well.” Hallelujah, I could talk!

Greta cackle: “My what an eloquent little princess you are. If I hadn’t seen a shadow of your visions I would even be impressed. But to answer your question, you journeyed towards your inner core, the centre of your being. You had a glimpse of your soul and what it contains, what it could be. You are older than you look, little princess, older than even me. And yet your soul is newly born, malleable and growing. It’s a dangerous state you are in, from what I can see you nearly lost yourself 5 days ago. If your soul hadn’t been strong enough, you would have burnt yourself and everyone around. You need to grow fast and you need to grow strong. Otherwise you might die an untimely and fiery death.”

During Greta’s little monologue, Ahri’s grip on me had tightened gradually until I had trouble breathing. I wheezed: “Could you…help me? Please?”

Greta smiled. A cold shiver ran down my spine and along my tails. That might have been a mistake.