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2022-02-24 18:32:59"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA- oh hey, it doesn't hurt anymore," I said, coughing to clear my throat from screaming out my lungs just a moment before.
At ‘The moment before’ I felt an excruciating pain but now it had just vanished.I padded myself down. There didn't seem to be anything wrong, so why was I shrieking like a banshee then?Huh, I can't remember what happened.I'll just have to retrace my steps.I need to think.For a job interview at the supermarket, I was outside...Because being a NEET, or more specifically, a full-blown hikikomori, doesn't pay a lot of money, and I ran out of dough.Something awful happened.I was overcome with chills and shuddered at the sensation I experienced while attempting to remember."Aww dang, now I know. I was run over!" I yelled out.Not by a freaking car or even a truck but by a damn carriage.It was my own fault anyhow, I didn't look both ways twice when crossing the road, and then BAM. Came out of nowhere too, or I was just blind. Who doesn't see a horse-drawn carriage coming? Or hear the clip-clopping of horse hooves.Oh man, I was only eighteen, how could I already be dead?I really felt like cryingWhere even was I?I looked around.This place reminded me of that place Kazuma got when he met Aqua or the place your character stands in most character creation menus, though in comparison to both, this was even more void-ish.What the fuck. This is pretty scary."Be not afraid," I heard a disembodied woman's voice say.I flinched, of course, I was afraid. I spun around to find whoever was talking.There was a woman, and she was beautiful, with long blonde silky hair and them big oppai which got me sweating.She wore a thin but very elegant dress that accented her petite figure.Exactly to my taste.Awooga.I’d waifu her."I am-" she wanted to continue but I held out my hand for her to stop talking."Stop, stop right there. Before you say or do anything I have a few questions and general assumptions. Is this the afterlife? I must be dead, right? Or, on second thought, perhaps not. I might be having a coma-like dream, you know? Does it really matter?"“Well-”“Does it matter? What am I saying, of course it matters a great deal, to me, at least. It's me who is here not anyone else, right? So, is this heaven? Hell? On which religion or whatever is this place based on? Could you tell me? Wait, you're not THE God, right? No way, I mean, just look at yourself, you’re a hot babe not some kind of old omnipotent man with a beard. ...You could be Satan or maybe you're an angel or a demon. Mhh, I always liked the thought that Saint Peter would welcome me to the pearly gates or some other kind of old-looking man type of being. Is this the place of judgment? Are you going to condemn me to hell or something? Or are you another kind of goddess or some divine being?"“Could I-”“Is this just my brain fucking with me? In a last-ditch effort to keep me alive, my body kicks into overdrive and floods my brain with a variety of chemicals and hormones.The religions I know could just be the wrong ones. You look human, in my eyes. Further consideration suggests that this might be a ruse for reasons that I am not yet aware of, wouldn't you agree?" I put my hand under my chin in thought, "so, what is it?"She was obviously exhausted.Perhaps I spoke too quickly.She looked uncomfortable and said, "You should sit down first."I continued to stand where I was because there were obviously no chairs or any kind of other items in the empty space."It is true that you died, yet this is not the afterlife of your world.""What then? Are you a goddess?""Yes.""I'll hazard a guess that your name is Storm, Ember, Minerva, or something similar?"She gave a brief cough to gather herself."Let me start over now.I believe your time has come too soon, Mortal Cyrus! I'm here to offer you another chance! I'm Alexandra, the goddess of second chances, vindication, and redemption. You had a life of darkness, and when you started to make changes for the better, it was too late for you. I am moved by your actions, and I want you to live your life as you intended — in the light."I felt a big rush of dread and panic overwhelm me. My knees buckled and I had to sit, or rather, lay down for a while.This all wasn't my brain flooding my system with hormones and chemicals.She is a goddess, meaning gods are actually real, like really real beings in the universe, though they seemed very different from what I have known from my own world.Religion as I knew it was a sham.Or wait, all religion could be true, with all the gods being real, like the Roman and Egyptian pantheons.And if she could isekai or reincarnate me, then that meant that either other worlds are real or time travel is possible too.Like different timelines? Parallel universes?I lay there. I needed a moment."I can give you a new life in the past, present, or future or even in a different world. Which kind of world would you like?""System Anime," I said stumbling on my words.“What?”
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Asher the Insane 02 - Asher the Pre-Incarnated
After what must have been at least a few hours I explained to the so-called goddess, in great detail, what anime, and especially isekai, was. I think I finally finished.After all, I can't expect her to have known all of that, having in mind how much more complex the universe I had known turned out to be.In the meanwhile, the goddess created a nice boudoir, with fancy chairs and very grandiose bed, in which I lay in, after she offered it to me, most likely because she felt bad for me, seeing how I had already lain on the floor for a while."Mortal Cyrus, why is it that you want to get into such a world?" The goddess asked me."I'm something of a weeb," I told her.I saw her nod but I'm not sure if I explained to her what one was. Under the haze of everything I told her I forgot if I did or not."Is there also something with RPG mechanics?" I asked."I am sorry but I also do not know what Arrpeegees are."I spend another few hours telling the goddess everything I knew about video-games
Asher the Insane 03 - Asher the Baby
The reality of being reborn kind of sucked. I thought 'being reborn' meant that I would just, you know, 'pop' into the world like I had been, like a great many isekai-ed men, and women, were before me. But no, I'm a real, literal, baby. My parents, my family, my appearance, why, even my name have all changed. Cyrus is Asher now, which I thought was a cool name.Lying in my crib, being swayed side to side I thought there should have been another person here, but who? Oh yeah, short and grumpy Faye. Where even is she? She did hop, or rather, float, into the portal with me. As a baby I can't even call her. Screaming is a clever trick and one of the few things I can do as a baby, so I'll give that a try. "WAAAAAAAAAAAAHH" There was a strange feeling circulating throughout my head. [Skill [Voice LVL. 1] threshold reached. [Voice LVL. 1] -> [Voice LVL. 2]][Skill [Screaming LVL. 1] threshold reached. [Screaming LVL. 1] -> [Screaming LVL. 2]][Skill [Speech LVL. 1] threshold reach
Asher the Insane 04 - Asher the Tester of the Water
You know, you have to be grateful for what you have in the long run. Like good old Buff X. It could be comically overpowered, having the potential to be much stronger than I had initially thought. I discovered that I could stack it on itself when I was four years old. I played outside for along time, went home at night, used the skill, went to sleep for almost an entire day and when I finally woke up and got out of bed I could use it again, gaining two stacks. Funny how these things happen, right? But what I first failed to realize is that there are buffs for nearly anything in this world. Ever played The Sims? It’s something like that. Being too happy or being too excited could trigger a buff that would just be a rush of emotions. Eating your favorite food or just enjoying the moment would take away all my stacks, which just sucked. But since I turned eight I didn’t miss a single day where I didn’t successfully apply the buff on itself. I was ten now, and when I asked Faye
Asher the Insane 05 - Asher the Stacked
Today was my birthday, I was eighteen. In this world, eighteen is a bit older than you have to be to be considered an adult. Fifteen or sixteen I would also be one but eighteen just sounded right, to me. Until now I have lived life as any common man would but only until today, because today is the day everything will change! I stacked [Buff X] about 3650 times. Theoretically, the next buff I would get should be about 36500 times stronger, right? ‘Do I have that right, Faye?’ ... ‘Nothing to add?’ “I do not have anything to add.”Right, you never do.Over the last two decades, you rarely spoke and even then you only spoke to me when I directly addressed you.…'Fine, fine. That's just who you are but please, show me my stats, will you?' - [Asher Burell] - [LVL. 18 Human Man] - [[HP 99/100 │ MP 100/100 │ SP 98/100]] - [[STR 9] [CON 9] [DEF 9] [INT 9] [WIS 9] [CHA 4] [DEX 11] [LCK 7] [VER 10]] - [[Buff X]] [[Body Skills] [Mental Skills]] - [[Power Beam LVL. 19] [Secon
Asher the Insane 06 - Asher the Gajillion Times Worse
At first, I was so disappointed, but then a familiar warm, cozy feeling came over me. Though it started to be uncomfortable and then slowly turned into a burning sensation. Then I started to hear it, louder and louder. My head began to hurt and I wandered the streets with my head in my hands. [Skill [Thinking LVL. 50] threshold reached. [Thinking LVL. 50] -> [Thinking LVL. 51]][Skill [Breathing LVL. 145] threshold reached. [Breathing LVL. 145] -> [Breathing LVL. 146]][Skill [Metabolism LVL. 160] threshold reached. [Metabolism LVL. 160] -> [Metabolism LVL. 161]][Skill [Sight LVL. 114] threshold reached. [Sight LVL. 114] -> [Sight LVL. 115]][Skill [Regeneration LVL. 60] threshold reached. [Regeneration LVL. 60] -> [Regeneration LVL. 61]][Skill [Blood Flow LVL. 190] threshold reached. [Blood Flow LVL. 190] -> [Blood Flow LVL. 191]][Skill [Muscular System. 80] threshold reached. [Muscular System. 80] -> [Muscular System. 81]][Skill [Aura LVL. 17] threshold reached. [Aura LVL. 17]
Asher the Insane 07 - Asher the One Who Got Used To It
I still feel very normal, though I needed a few days to adjust.There still was the headache but hey, there's nothing I can do about it. I'm OP but insane, gotta take the good with the bad, right? Sitting in the town’s park, enjoying the rays, things don’t seem all that different from just a week ago. Faye? ... Faye, you in here? ... Huh, no answer. Give her a bit of time, Asher, that's just how she is. I waited, one minute, two minutes, still no answer. That’s unusual. I stood up and called to her again as loud as I could mentally. FAYE. ... God damn, where is that lady at. “Are you calling me?” I heard behind me. I flinched and turned around, “shit, you scared me.” There was a small woman sitting on a bench. I knew her face and her hair though there was something different. Animal ears and a tail. “A fox-girl?” I looked her up closer, “Faye, is that you? What are you doing outside in the really real world?” "I decided to leave since it was getting too noisy. Howe
Asher the Insane 08 - Asher the OC
I was on my way to the adventurers guild to sign up as any isekai protagonist would. I was already an adult so I couldn't go to school here anymore, so no academy stories in this book. Sorry! Either way, this is the best way to get started on my journey. An important question was: What kind of persona should I take? I didn’t have a gun, yet, so my options on the edgy side were a bit limited. But I did have a katana, that was a good start, now, just a trench-coat and my destiny will be fulfilled. But in all seriousness, should I be the Edgy Lone Wolf? I kind of liked being around other people and of course I loved to talk my heart out. Seems like that was something new to me. In the old world I would barely speak a word to anyone, in real life, online I wrote paragraphs worth of stuff if I could talk about it. There were other options. For example: The cocky brat. Nah.Dumb Shounen Protagonist. No way, I ain't THAT stupid.The Pervert? No. I looked at the sword and contem
Asher the Insane 09 - Asher the Already Different
I yawned loudly. It was another beautiful day and the adventurer business was booming. I’ve done a few quests already and had gotten a nice sum of money from them. There were a few opportunities where I could test out some of the new skills I learned. On one mission, where I had to kill a few acid-spitting toads, I used one, which was called [Inside Out], and to my horror, it literally did what it was called. But I was the dumb one for using it, the spell did exactly as advertised. Another quest was saving a cat from a tree.I could climb it normally but no instead I used another spell in my repertoire. [Steps] It build a magic staircase wherever I wanted one. The only limitation was that it had to touch the ground somehow and that every step I took I had to spend more mana, but in addition to my insanely high stats, the skill has leveled up so much that I could basically walk up to the clouds and back. The quest I found the strangest was traveling ten-thousand kilometers whi
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My last thoughts on Asher the Insane
A special thanks to me, the writer, for writing this novel! Just joking. Thanks for coming this far. I guess I covered every trope and cliché I wanted to cover to create one of the worst “actual” web novel that is out there. Yeah, it was a train wreck through and through, but I had a lot of fun writing it. Hope you, whoever is reading this, also had at least some amount of fun reading it.It came from a somewhat shitty premise idea with isekai elements and spun into whatever it is now. Have a nice day. And as a last hurrah: Fuck you for reading this fucking garbage!
- Asher the Insane
Ending B
“Does it this time? Or are you, as always, unwilling to share what is to happen? You are a powerful god. Fate, future, past, present, all that will be. The gods have grown complacent, and it is time for a change."While Urien still making a somewhat tired speech about gods and whatever, destiny, maybe, I walked up to the hooded god, whoever he was he must have been pretty powerful, as Urien said.Without hesitation, I spoke up. "This would really be the perfect moment to blast him," I said, gesturing towards Urien.To my surprise, the hooded figure nodded in agreement. "In this you are right, mortal Asher," he said, his voice deep and resonant. And with a calm flick of his wrist, a bolt of lightning shot towards Urien.The power of the blast was unimaginable. It was as if the very fabric of reality was tearing apart at the seams. I could see the sky lighting up with bursts of energy, and I felt the ground shaking beneath my feet. The forces of the world were colliding, all in an effor
- Asher the Insane
Ending A
“Cyrus,” I heard Alexandra call, “get behind me.”“Do not protect him. If you would have cared from the beginning, then an in-numerous amount of them could have been saved. Why, little goddess, even your precious Paragon? Faye, I recall her name. Even if you can create her again, does it not bother you that she was destroyed in the first place?”“She is as we are,” Alexandra said. “She will not be bothered by your little games as she knows her purpose, which you do not seem to.”“Then it doesn’t matter if I kill your little mortal friend, does it?” He said.And as he did, a sickly black smoke approached from behind the death god towards the gods and me.With the fog/mist gone, I saw that the new smoke cloud was as tall and wide as I could see, and I was pretty confident in my sight.“Cyrus, take my hand. I must lend you our power, or you will not be if you are hit by Urien’s madness.” Alexandra said as she held out her hand.I took it but had to ask, “whaddya mean ‘lend you our power’
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100 - THE FINALE / Asher the Extravaganza
I awoke in pitch black, lying on something which I couldn’t really describe, but it was neither soft nor very hard. This wasn't my childhood bed. That much was apparent; in which I had slept in the night before, instead I found myself in what I thought was sand. It's wet too, ugh. From the feeling I got, I think I was also wearing my usual equipment, a sort of armor made of leather. It was a pretty low tier, but I thought it looked pretty cool. Why was I wearing it? I went to bed in my pajamas and now that I am here. I’m suddenly wearing it. Of course, this place could have been anywhere I could have thought of. I waited for my eyes to adjust to the darkness, but no matter how long I seemed to wait, they never did. But even though it was too dark to see anything, it wasn't too dark to hear anything. There were many people present wherever this was. Talking, shouting, screaming their heads off, moving about, and running. From the muffled sound of bare feet to the iron clang of a
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99 - The Truth
“Who are you?” Jacob asked as he pushed his wife behind him for protection. He felt a sense of confusion and fear, not knowing who this elf-man was or what he wanted from them.The elf man's response only added to Jacob's confusion. "I know this is hard to accept, but I'm your son, Asher."Jacob almost burst out laughing at how ridiculous the situation was. "And how do you plan on proving that?" he asked.“I can prove it, don’t you worry about that,” The Elf said.“How?” Curious, Zilpah raised a question. She pushed past Jacob despite his attempts to keep her behind him.Asher responded, "Well, do you remember Faye, my oh-so imaginary childhood friend? She's not quite as fantastical as you might have thought. Faye if you will," he said as he poured steaming tea into a new cup.Suddenly, an ethereal young woman manifested opposite him."I'd like you to meet her," Asher said.She didn't say a word.“We aren't really close, but she has been sharing my adventures and has occasionally been
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98 - Jacob and Zilpah, The Parents
Deep within the southern farmlands of the grand kingdom of Kathe, close to the bustling city of Wellden, there existed a quaint little farm owned by a couple named Jacob and Zilpah. These two individuals were not your typical townsfolk.They were childhood friends who grew up in the same small village on the outskirts of the town of Charlo. They spent their youth playing together in the fields and learning the ways of the land from their families, who also were farmers. As they grew older, Jacob and Zilpah started to see each other in a different light, and eventually, they fell in love.Years went by, and they stayed together through thick and thin, facing the hardships of farming and battling against droughts and pests, but they always managed to pull through with their unwavering dedication and love for one another. They watched as their crops grew tall and their livestock flourished, and they knew that they had built a life together that was worth more than any riches or fame.A f
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97 - Asher's last Hurrah for Papia
At breakfast the next day, after the weirdness Asher had with the dragon last night, he announced that he had big news.As I nonchalantly smeared jelly on a piece of bread, Asher rose from his seat and directed his attention towards the king. “"I have some big news," he announced, causing a sense of anticipation to fill the room. All eyes were now on him as he continued, "I would like for Papia to stay here in my stead, permanently. As a guide for you, but also as an important task which I believe will help her grow into her future responsibilities. She'll be dealing with all matters related to elves.I’d also like Ravana to look over her. A dragon, especially her, is someone I’d trust.What do you say, King Padillia?"There was a silence. I was in shock.As I thought about Asher's proposal, the king spoke up, stammering slightly. "I-I don't know- well, if you, rather, her... think it's best."Turning towards me, Asher asked, "And you, Papia. Are you fine with this development? A life
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96 - The Dragon's Lair
Papia's eyes widened in fear as she watched Asher approach the dragon. "What on earth would he want to confront a dragon for?!" she thought to herself. "Get the hell out of here before that monster eats you!" But Asher seemed undaunted by the creature's size and ferocity.Papia continued to cower, keeping a safe distance from the dragon."Come on, girl," Asher thought, already noticing the hiding girl, "you live in a fantasy world like this and you still think dragons, of all creatures, are mindless monstrous beasts who’ll just eat you? Jeez, you still got a lot to learn about how these things work."Asher seemed to be quite knowledgeable about dragons, though. He wanted to remind Papia that in many works of fantasy, fiction in general where they appear, dragons are often depicted as the most intelligent creatures around."Proud, sometimes arrogant, and the primary source of scalie smut out there," he remarked to himself in his mind.Despite this knowledge, Asher wasn't taking any cha
- Asher the Insane
95 - Papia's... Chase?
The moment I stepped into my room, I felt a wave of overwhelming sensation wash over me.The furniture was adorned with gold, and even the chandelier was covered to the brim with gemstones. It was gaudy, to say the least, and I couldn't help but feel like it was all too much to handle.As I kicked off my shoes and let my dress loose, I made my way over to the bed. It was like a fortress, decked out with pillows and other fancy accessories. However, it was surprisingly hard. Most likely because it had probably not been slept in very much. Still, it was better than sleeping outside on the hard ground.As I lay there with my eyes closed, I started thinking about my life. Sure, the decor was a bit outdated, but I couldn't deny the fact that having servants and gold at my disposal would be kind of nice. I could get used to this lifestyle if I had to.I dozed off. I don't know for how long, but my dreams were interrupted by the sound of something smashing on the ground in the room next door