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2022-02-24 18:37:44The reality of being reborn kind of sucked.
I thought 'being reborn' meant that I would just, you know, 'pop' into the world like I had been, like a great many isekai-ed men, and women, were before me.
But no, I'm a real, literal, baby.
My parents, my family, my appearance, why, even my name have all changed.Cyrus is Asher now, which I thought was a cool name.
Lying in my crib, being swayed side to side I thought there should have been another person here, but who?Oh yeah, short and grumpy Faye.
Where even is she?
She did hop, or rather, float, into the portal with me.
As a baby I can't even call her.
Screaming is a clever trick and one of the few things I can do as a baby, so I'll give that a try.
"WAAAAAAAAAAAAHH"
There was a strange feeling circulating throughout my head.
[Skill [Voice LVL. 1] threshold reached. [Voice LVL. 1] -> [Voice LVL. 2]]
[Skill [Screaming LVL. 1] threshold reached. [Screaming LVL. 1] -> [Screaming LVL. 2]][Skill [Speech LVL. 1] threshold reached. [Speech LVL. 1] -> [Speech LVL. 2]]Leveling up feels nice actually. Warm and fuzzy.
But the system's voice seems familiar...
Wait a Minute! THAT'S FAYE!
‘Faye, hello? Hello? Hello? Hello?
Are you in my brain? Testing, one, two. Earth to Faye, are you there?
HELLO?!’
"I can attest that I am present and able to hear you. Please stop talking immediately."
She's in a sour mood, ain't she?
As I looked around, physically at least, she wasn't anywhere close to me.
Does she have telepathy and is chilling in the heavenly realm? Or is she in my head? Who knows, maybe I guessed right and it's something along those lines.‘Hey Faye, how do you like my baby self? Pretty cute, eh?’
“Not in the slightest.”
‘Ouch.
Why are you so mean? Not my fault you're here.’
“Actually, it is.”
Well... technically, maybe.
[Skill [Truth LVL. 1] threshold reached. [Truth LVL. 1] -> [Truth LVL. 2]]
‘So, what's up with these skills?’
"It is like you wished from Lady Alexandra."
‘An video-game world, got it, and you're my system?
Just my luck...So, what do you do, except be a party pooper?’
"I'm here as a replacement for the user interface and can provide information upon anything you want."
‘Like appraisal in other isekai? That’s funny. Hah, you have been demoted to a skill.
So, did I get something cool or unique? Have I been born to family with a legendary bloodline? A special skill? Am I a freak of nature and can use my abnormal status to conquer the world?’
"No. You are a perfectly normal human with only human ancestors. Your birth parents are very modest shepherds in the kingdom of Kathe. In addition, you have also received a unique skill at birth, as everyone in this world has."
‘Oh, goodie. What did I get?’
"Buff X"
‘What does it do?’
"[Buff X]
Upon using this skill, the next spell deemed a buff will be increased in strength and length for approximately 10% of the buff's strength and duration.This effect has a one-day cooldown period."...
‘This absolutely stinks, and I'm kind of speechless.
Is it possible for me to call Alexandra and get a refund?’
"Do not dare insult the Goddess."
‘Yeah, yeah. Relax, lady, I'm just coping here.
Hey, can you use those information skills on me?’
-
[Asher Burell]-[LVL. 01 Human Infant]-[[HP 2/2 │ MP 1/1 │ SP 2/2]]-[[STR 1] [CON 1] [DEF 1] [INT 9] [WIS 9] [CHA 13] [DEX 1] [LCK 10] [VER 1]]-[[Buff X][Body Skills] [Mental Skills]] -"At this time, you lack any specific abilities, spells, buffs, or de-buffs. I would show them if you had them.”1’s in most, makes sense I’m a baby but if 10 is average… and I have a 9 in INT…
Does that mean I’m kind of stupid?Damn, that realization hurts.
I guess Body and Mental skills where stuff like my physique and mental status are. Like a moment before when I screamed and level up [Voice] that’s a physical skill, meaning it should be in [Body Skills].
Man, all my stats are so low. I gotta go and grind a shit ton like Kumoko did.
At least I’m safe and sound here in a warm and cozy home and not a spider trying to survive getting eaten by my own mother.
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Asher the Insane 04 - Asher the Tester of the Water
You know, you have to be grateful for what you have in the long run. Like good old Buff X. It could be comically overpowered, having the potential to be much stronger than I had initially thought. I discovered that I could stack it on itself when I was four years old. I played outside for along time, went home at night, used the skill, went to sleep for almost an entire day and when I finally woke up and got out of bed I could use it again, gaining two stacks. Funny how these things happen, right? But what I first failed to realize is that there are buffs for nearly anything in this world. Ever played The Sims? It’s something like that. Being too happy or being too excited could trigger a buff that would just be a rush of emotions. Eating your favorite food or just enjoying the moment would take away all my stacks, which just sucked. But since I turned eight I didn’t miss a single day where I didn’t successfully apply the buff on itself. I was ten now, and when I asked Faye
Asher the Insane 05 - Asher the Stacked
Today was my birthday, I was eighteen. In this world, eighteen is a bit older than you have to be to be considered an adult. Fifteen or sixteen I would also be one but eighteen just sounded right, to me. Until now I have lived life as any common man would but only until today, because today is the day everything will change! I stacked [Buff X] about 3650 times. Theoretically, the next buff I would get should be about 36500 times stronger, right? ‘Do I have that right, Faye?’ ... ‘Nothing to add?’ “I do not have anything to add.”Right, you never do.Over the last two decades, you rarely spoke and even then you only spoke to me when I directly addressed you.…'Fine, fine. That's just who you are but please, show me my stats, will you?' - [Asher Burell] - [LVL. 18 Human Man] - [[HP 99/100 │ MP 100/100 │ SP 98/100]] - [[STR 9] [CON 9] [DEF 9] [INT 9] [WIS 9] [CHA 4] [DEX 11] [LCK 7] [VER 10]] - [[Buff X]] [[Body Skills] [Mental Skills]] - [[Power Beam LVL. 19] [Secon
Asher the Insane 06 - Asher the Gajillion Times Worse
At first, I was so disappointed, but then a familiar warm, cozy feeling came over me. Though it started to be uncomfortable and then slowly turned into a burning sensation. Then I started to hear it, louder and louder. My head began to hurt and I wandered the streets with my head in my hands. [Skill [Thinking LVL. 50] threshold reached. [Thinking LVL. 50] -> [Thinking LVL. 51]][Skill [Breathing LVL. 145] threshold reached. [Breathing LVL. 145] -> [Breathing LVL. 146]][Skill [Metabolism LVL. 160] threshold reached. [Metabolism LVL. 160] -> [Metabolism LVL. 161]][Skill [Sight LVL. 114] threshold reached. [Sight LVL. 114] -> [Sight LVL. 115]][Skill [Regeneration LVL. 60] threshold reached. [Regeneration LVL. 60] -> [Regeneration LVL. 61]][Skill [Blood Flow LVL. 190] threshold reached. [Blood Flow LVL. 190] -> [Blood Flow LVL. 191]][Skill [Muscular System. 80] threshold reached. [Muscular System. 80] -> [Muscular System. 81]][Skill [Aura LVL. 17] threshold reached. [Aura LVL. 17]
Asher the Insane 07 - Asher the One Who Got Used To It
I still feel very normal, though I needed a few days to adjust.There still was the headache but hey, there's nothing I can do about it. I'm OP but insane, gotta take the good with the bad, right? Sitting in the town’s park, enjoying the rays, things don’t seem all that different from just a week ago. Faye? ... Faye, you in here? ... Huh, no answer. Give her a bit of time, Asher, that's just how she is. I waited, one minute, two minutes, still no answer. That’s unusual. I stood up and called to her again as loud as I could mentally. FAYE. ... God damn, where is that lady at. “Are you calling me?” I heard behind me. I flinched and turned around, “shit, you scared me.” There was a small woman sitting on a bench. I knew her face and her hair though there was something different. Animal ears and a tail. “A fox-girl?” I looked her up closer, “Faye, is that you? What are you doing outside in the really real world?” "I decided to leave since it was getting too noisy. Howe
Asher the Insane 08 - Asher the OC
I was on my way to the adventurers guild to sign up as any isekai protagonist would. I was already an adult so I couldn't go to school here anymore, so no academy stories in this book. Sorry! Either way, this is the best way to get started on my journey. An important question was: What kind of persona should I take? I didn’t have a gun, yet, so my options on the edgy side were a bit limited. But I did have a katana, that was a good start, now, just a trench-coat and my destiny will be fulfilled. But in all seriousness, should I be the Edgy Lone Wolf? I kind of liked being around other people and of course I loved to talk my heart out. Seems like that was something new to me. In the old world I would barely speak a word to anyone, in real life, online I wrote paragraphs worth of stuff if I could talk about it. There were other options. For example: The cocky brat. Nah.Dumb Shounen Protagonist. No way, I ain't THAT stupid.The Pervert? No. I looked at the sword and contem
Asher the Insane 09 - Asher the Already Different
I yawned loudly. It was another beautiful day and the adventurer business was booming. I’ve done a few quests already and had gotten a nice sum of money from them. There were a few opportunities where I could test out some of the new skills I learned. On one mission, where I had to kill a few acid-spitting toads, I used one, which was called [Inside Out], and to my horror, it literally did what it was called. But I was the dumb one for using it, the spell did exactly as advertised. Another quest was saving a cat from a tree.I could climb it normally but no instead I used another spell in my repertoire. [Steps] It build a magic staircase wherever I wanted one. The only limitation was that it had to touch the ground somehow and that every step I took I had to spend more mana, but in addition to my insanely high stats, the skill has leveled up so much that I could basically walk up to the clouds and back. The quest I found the strangest was traveling ten-thousand kilometers whi
Asher the Insane 10 - Asher the Independent Actor
After completing a lame extermination quest successfully, and having already went to collect the reward in the Adventurers Guild, I was simply minding my own business, walking down a road I have never been to yet, then, in the distance, I noticed a large group of people marching in unison. Were they soldiers? Mercenaries? Maybe a traveling caravan? I ran to catch up to them. Faye, as usual nowhere to be seen unless I called to her, and usually, 'walking' or 'running' was not something she did, instead she hovered and no matter how fast I was she always kept up with me. Recently, I roamed the world so frequently and for so long that I was unsure of which country I was in at this time. In general, I didn’t know anything about the countries or kingdoms of this world. It wasn't like I purposefully didn’t listen but I also didn't actively seek out any knowledge of this world. Well, now I could learn something. At the end of the giant march, I started talking with the last guy in the
Asher the Insane 11 - Asher the Talkative
There he was, the general. His name was Ray Netley. From head to toe he was covered in very fancy armor. At first I thought that it must have been decorative, no actual armor would look like that, but then I realized, those could have been magic engravings or something like that. I had no knowledge of the reality of armor in this world, for all I knew it could have been the most practical armor in the whole multi-verse. As a man of the 'General' class I thought that he must have a high level but, to my disappointment, he was only level 48. Was 48 considered very high? I can't seem to remember. I wondered where, or even if, I could find really high leveled people, over 100 at least. “Hi there, General,” I said to Ray, he rode on a very tall horse, which was walking very slowly to meet the speed of the marching soldiers behind him, “a very nice elf-ish man told me that I should talk to you.” “Oh, who did, and who are you?” He said, relaxing the grip of his horse's reigns. “It
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My last thoughts on Asher the Insane
A special thanks to me, the writer, for writing this novel! Just joking. Thanks for coming this far. I guess I covered every trope and cliché I wanted to cover to create one of the worst “actual” web novel that is out there. Yeah, it was a train wreck through and through, but I had a lot of fun writing it. Hope you, whoever is reading this, also had at least some amount of fun reading it.It came from a somewhat shitty premise idea with isekai elements and spun into whatever it is now. Have a nice day. And as a last hurrah: Fuck you for reading this fucking garbage!
- Asher the Insane
Ending B
“Does it this time? Or are you, as always, unwilling to share what is to happen? You are a powerful god. Fate, future, past, present, all that will be. The gods have grown complacent, and it is time for a change."While Urien still making a somewhat tired speech about gods and whatever, destiny, maybe, I walked up to the hooded god, whoever he was he must have been pretty powerful, as Urien said.Without hesitation, I spoke up. "This would really be the perfect moment to blast him," I said, gesturing towards Urien.To my surprise, the hooded figure nodded in agreement. "In this you are right, mortal Asher," he said, his voice deep and resonant. And with a calm flick of his wrist, a bolt of lightning shot towards Urien.The power of the blast was unimaginable. It was as if the very fabric of reality was tearing apart at the seams. I could see the sky lighting up with bursts of energy, and I felt the ground shaking beneath my feet. The forces of the world were colliding, all in an effor
- Asher the Insane
Ending A
“Cyrus,” I heard Alexandra call, “get behind me.”“Do not protect him. If you would have cared from the beginning, then an in-numerous amount of them could have been saved. Why, little goddess, even your precious Paragon? Faye, I recall her name. Even if you can create her again, does it not bother you that she was destroyed in the first place?”“She is as we are,” Alexandra said. “She will not be bothered by your little games as she knows her purpose, which you do not seem to.”“Then it doesn’t matter if I kill your little mortal friend, does it?” He said.And as he did, a sickly black smoke approached from behind the death god towards the gods and me.With the fog/mist gone, I saw that the new smoke cloud was as tall and wide as I could see, and I was pretty confident in my sight.“Cyrus, take my hand. I must lend you our power, or you will not be if you are hit by Urien’s madness.” Alexandra said as she held out her hand.I took it but had to ask, “whaddya mean ‘lend you our power’
- Asher the Insane
100 - THE FINALE / Asher the Extravaganza
I awoke in pitch black, lying on something which I couldn’t really describe, but it was neither soft nor very hard. This wasn't my childhood bed. That much was apparent; in which I had slept in the night before, instead I found myself in what I thought was sand. It's wet too, ugh. From the feeling I got, I think I was also wearing my usual equipment, a sort of armor made of leather. It was a pretty low tier, but I thought it looked pretty cool. Why was I wearing it? I went to bed in my pajamas and now that I am here. I’m suddenly wearing it. Of course, this place could have been anywhere I could have thought of. I waited for my eyes to adjust to the darkness, but no matter how long I seemed to wait, they never did. But even though it was too dark to see anything, it wasn't too dark to hear anything. There were many people present wherever this was. Talking, shouting, screaming their heads off, moving about, and running. From the muffled sound of bare feet to the iron clang of a
- Asher the Insane
99 - The Truth
“Who are you?” Jacob asked as he pushed his wife behind him for protection. He felt a sense of confusion and fear, not knowing who this elf-man was or what he wanted from them.The elf man's response only added to Jacob's confusion. "I know this is hard to accept, but I'm your son, Asher."Jacob almost burst out laughing at how ridiculous the situation was. "And how do you plan on proving that?" he asked.“I can prove it, don’t you worry about that,” The Elf said.“How?” Curious, Zilpah raised a question. She pushed past Jacob despite his attempts to keep her behind him.Asher responded, "Well, do you remember Faye, my oh-so imaginary childhood friend? She's not quite as fantastical as you might have thought. Faye if you will," he said as he poured steaming tea into a new cup.Suddenly, an ethereal young woman manifested opposite him."I'd like you to meet her," Asher said.She didn't say a word.“We aren't really close, but she has been sharing my adventures and has occasionally been
- Asher the Insane
98 - Jacob and Zilpah, The Parents
Deep within the southern farmlands of the grand kingdom of Kathe, close to the bustling city of Wellden, there existed a quaint little farm owned by a couple named Jacob and Zilpah. These two individuals were not your typical townsfolk.They were childhood friends who grew up in the same small village on the outskirts of the town of Charlo. They spent their youth playing together in the fields and learning the ways of the land from their families, who also were farmers. As they grew older, Jacob and Zilpah started to see each other in a different light, and eventually, they fell in love.Years went by, and they stayed together through thick and thin, facing the hardships of farming and battling against droughts and pests, but they always managed to pull through with their unwavering dedication and love for one another. They watched as their crops grew tall and their livestock flourished, and they knew that they had built a life together that was worth more than any riches or fame.A f
- Asher the Insane
97 - Asher's last Hurrah for Papia
At breakfast the next day, after the weirdness Asher had with the dragon last night, he announced that he had big news.As I nonchalantly smeared jelly on a piece of bread, Asher rose from his seat and directed his attention towards the king. “"I have some big news," he announced, causing a sense of anticipation to fill the room. All eyes were now on him as he continued, "I would like for Papia to stay here in my stead, permanently. As a guide for you, but also as an important task which I believe will help her grow into her future responsibilities. She'll be dealing with all matters related to elves.I’d also like Ravana to look over her. A dragon, especially her, is someone I’d trust.What do you say, King Padillia?"There was a silence. I was in shock.As I thought about Asher's proposal, the king spoke up, stammering slightly. "I-I don't know- well, if you, rather, her... think it's best."Turning towards me, Asher asked, "And you, Papia. Are you fine with this development? A life
- Asher the Insane
96 - The Dragon's Lair
Papia's eyes widened in fear as she watched Asher approach the dragon. "What on earth would he want to confront a dragon for?!" she thought to herself. "Get the hell out of here before that monster eats you!" But Asher seemed undaunted by the creature's size and ferocity.Papia continued to cower, keeping a safe distance from the dragon."Come on, girl," Asher thought, already noticing the hiding girl, "you live in a fantasy world like this and you still think dragons, of all creatures, are mindless monstrous beasts who’ll just eat you? Jeez, you still got a lot to learn about how these things work."Asher seemed to be quite knowledgeable about dragons, though. He wanted to remind Papia that in many works of fantasy, fiction in general where they appear, dragons are often depicted as the most intelligent creatures around."Proud, sometimes arrogant, and the primary source of scalie smut out there," he remarked to himself in his mind.Despite this knowledge, Asher wasn't taking any cha
- Asher the Insane
95 - Papia's... Chase?
The moment I stepped into my room, I felt a wave of overwhelming sensation wash over me.The furniture was adorned with gold, and even the chandelier was covered to the brim with gemstones. It was gaudy, to say the least, and I couldn't help but feel like it was all too much to handle.As I kicked off my shoes and let my dress loose, I made my way over to the bed. It was like a fortress, decked out with pillows and other fancy accessories. However, it was surprisingly hard. Most likely because it had probably not been slept in very much. Still, it was better than sleeping outside on the hard ground.As I lay there with my eyes closed, I started thinking about my life. Sure, the decor was a bit outdated, but I couldn't deny the fact that having servants and gold at my disposal would be kind of nice. I could get used to this lifestyle if I had to.I dozed off. I don't know for how long, but my dreams were interrupted by the sound of something smashing on the ground in the room next door
