Asher the Insane

04 - Asher the Tester of the Water

You know, you have to be grateful for what you have in the long run.

Like good old Buff X.

It could be comically overpowered, having the potential to be much stronger than I had initially thought.

I discovered that I could stack it on itself when I was four years old.

I played outside for along time, went home at night, used the skill, went to sleep for almost an entire day and when I finally woke up and got out of bed I could use it again, gaining two stacks. 

Funny how these things happen, right? But what I first failed to realize is that there are buffs for nearly anything in this world.

Ever played The Sims? It’s something like that.

Being too happy or being too excited could trigger a buff that would just be a rush of emotions.

Eating your favorite food or just enjoying the moment would take away all my stacks, which just sucked.

But since I turned eight I didn’t miss a single day where I didn’t successfully apply the buff on itself.

I was ten now, and when I asked Faye how many stacks I have on myself she said that I have successfully stacked it seven-hundred-fifty times.

I still had to be very careful not to completely fuck it up, not wanting to waste the two years I spend doing this shit.

Sometimes I even refused to do certain things I'm sure I'd like, like eating a freshly baked pie my mother had made or do things that were for certain going to be fun, like going for a swim or hang out with other kids.

I haven't really made any 'permanent' friends yet, maybe its best if I don't make any.

Anyway, at least I didn't have to fear the idea of getting exhausted or scared or anything like that.

Neutral status changes or De-Buffs didn't count when it came to [Buff X]

My new parents, Jacob and Zilpah were their names, lovely people, were kind and understanding, they must thought I was a very strange kid indeed.

Oh, if they only knew the truth. 

One hundred percent it would blow their minds, it did mine when I first found out, and their own son? 

Oh, heartbreak, surprise, love through worlds and all other kinds of emotions would just blow over them.

I hadn’t done any grinding yet but still earned some XP. Maybe it was time to buy something with it.

‘Faye, you here?’

“That I am.”

‘Could you tell me some of my options?’

“No. Do it yourself.”

A menu popped up.

There were a lot of skills, like, a lot a lot.

I scrolled for well over an hour, but nothing really grabbed my attention.

You had your generic Fireballs and Ice Beams but there were some more interesting and vague than that.

Stuff like [Destroyer of Worlds], [Extra Stomach], [Reign of the Fifth Age], [Transform: Skeep] or [Bounce].

And after a few more minutes I still found nothing.

To my actual surprise, there was a ‘Randomize’ button just on the bottom right next to the buy option.

I thought about pressing it but I couldn’t just carelessly spend my precious XP, could I?

Oh, what the hell, sure I can.

“I would not recommend spending experience that way. In this world, people glorify the skills they have. It is a part of their being, part of their lives and should be spent extremely carefully.” Faye warned me.

"Faye, I don't give a lot of thought to the spiritual teachings of this world."

Then I pressed the button

Ding, ding, ding, ding, like a one-armed bandit it went.

And I got… [Power Beam]

Great, a generic energy blast, how interesting.

But I knew the perfect place  where I could test out the ability, a nearby forest, pretty close to the farm.

I had to be a bit out of reach, I wouldn't want someone to be too close and get hurt by accident.

I thought that in the distant sky I could make out a small old man who had a turtle shell on his back giving me a thumbs up.

I put my hands together and positioned them on my hip and yelled, “KA ME HA ME HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.”

Out went a big blue blast of energy and it decimated one of the trees in front of me.

That was pretty cool but it also cost me my entire MP.