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2022-02-24 19:08:37There he was, the general. His name was Ray Netley.
From head to toe he was covered in very fancy armor.
At first I thought that it must have been decorative, no actual armor would look like that, but then I realized, those could have been magic engravings or something like that.
I had no knowledge of the reality of armor in this world, for all I knew it could have been the most practical armor in the whole multi-verse.
As a man of the 'General' class I thought that he must have a high level but, to my disappointment, he was only level 48.
Was 48 considered very high? I can't seem to remember.
I wondered where, or even if, I could find really high leveled people, over 100 at least.
“Hi there, General,” I said to Ray, he rode on a very tall horse, which was walking very slowly to meet the speed of the marching soldiers behind him, “a very nice elf-ish man told me that I should talk to you.”
“Oh, who did, and who are you?” He said, relaxing the grip of his horse's reigns.
“It doesn't matter who did but it matters who I am,” I slicked back my hair handed him my hand to shake it and deepened my voice as much as I could, “Asher Burell, nice to meet you.”
I still wasn’t comfortable with the new voice I got when switching looks, I stopped trying to deepen it. “This wonderfully cold woman is my companion, Faye. You know, I’m not entirely sure what she is. A Paragon, what 'exactly' that is… I dunno, really. I guess an intermediary between anyone and her goddess? Well, you can see her as sort of a High-Priestess then.”
“I see,” he said, very non-partisan.
It didn't seem like he wanted to talk with me.
No way! I can't be that annoying, right?
I'm sure he just got a wrong first impression.
“Anyway," I veered to my actual topic of interest, "what are you guys doing? Where are you going to? Are you at war? There are so many, oh so many, soldiers here.”
"We're the Kathe army, and we're headed to the frontier of Landsfor for the yearly skirmish," he stated factually.
Hey, turns out that I was still in Kathe after all.
“What kind of idiot has a skirmish every year?” I mumbled off-handedly.
He heard that and didn't like that comment at all
“We do, and I'd advise you to hold your tongue,” he snapped at me.
I deserved it, it was pretty rude after all.
“What is it that you want?” He asked me.
“Adventure, to meet a few interesting people before I die. Usually, people who are in my situation want power but that's not something I want, but I must admit I already have a lot of it."
He looked confused.
“Don’t worry about it.” I waved it off, ”who’re you anyway?” I asked when I already knew, to make him feel more comfortable.
He announced with a head held high, “I am Ray Netley, Major General of the sixth division of the Kathe Army and the leader of this year’s skirmish army, ten-thousand men strong. Now, leave me be. If you have serious matters to discuss then wait a few days, the king will also join us at that time.”
The king himself?
Mhh, I haven't heard much about the king, to be honest.
I wondered what kind of king Kathe has.Just an old guy? A wise man with gray hair and a long beard.
Maybe a young warrior type, who'll charge the battlefields himself.“You sure have netted yourself a nice position, haven’t you? Will he fight alongside with you? The king, I mean.”
He laughed, “no, of course not. When has a king ever fought on a battlefield? But he will be there, close enough, for most, to the battle. Too close for the damned court, that’s for sure, but not close enough to partake in any of the battle, beside overseeing it.”
“There are a few who do fight themselves,” I began counting on my fingers, “a slime, a skeleton, someone whose name rhymes with ‘the douche’. Gilgamesh who was just an actual douche, real-life and fictional.”
Didn’t seem like he was listening but it didn’t matter. I had an idea for a grand entrance.
I waved my goodbyes to Ray and split from the march.
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Asher the Insane 13 - Asher the Overleveled
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Asher the Insane 14 - Asher the Clichéd
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Asher the Insane 15 - Asher the Thinker
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Asher the Insane 17 - Old Asher and The Sea
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My last thoughts on Asher the Insane
A special thanks to me, the writer, for writing this novel! Just joking. Thanks for coming this far. I guess I covered every trope and cliché I wanted to cover to create one of the worst “actual” web novel that is out there. Yeah, it was a train wreck through and through, but I had a lot of fun writing it. Hope you, whoever is reading this, also had at least some amount of fun reading it.It came from a somewhat shitty premise idea with isekai elements and spun into whatever it is now. Have a nice day. And as a last hurrah: Fuck you for reading this fucking garbage!
- Asher the Insane
Ending B
“Does it this time? Or are you, as always, unwilling to share what is to happen? You are a powerful god. Fate, future, past, present, all that will be. The gods have grown complacent, and it is time for a change."While Urien still making a somewhat tired speech about gods and whatever, destiny, maybe, I walked up to the hooded god, whoever he was he must have been pretty powerful, as Urien said.Without hesitation, I spoke up. "This would really be the perfect moment to blast him," I said, gesturing towards Urien.To my surprise, the hooded figure nodded in agreement. "In this you are right, mortal Asher," he said, his voice deep and resonant. And with a calm flick of his wrist, a bolt of lightning shot towards Urien.The power of the blast was unimaginable. It was as if the very fabric of reality was tearing apart at the seams. I could see the sky lighting up with bursts of energy, and I felt the ground shaking beneath my feet. The forces of the world were colliding, all in an effor
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Ending A
“Cyrus,” I heard Alexandra call, “get behind me.”“Do not protect him. If you would have cared from the beginning, then an in-numerous amount of them could have been saved. Why, little goddess, even your precious Paragon? Faye, I recall her name. Even if you can create her again, does it not bother you that she was destroyed in the first place?”“She is as we are,” Alexandra said. “She will not be bothered by your little games as she knows her purpose, which you do not seem to.”“Then it doesn’t matter if I kill your little mortal friend, does it?” He said.And as he did, a sickly black smoke approached from behind the death god towards the gods and me.With the fog/mist gone, I saw that the new smoke cloud was as tall and wide as I could see, and I was pretty confident in my sight.“Cyrus, take my hand. I must lend you our power, or you will not be if you are hit by Urien’s madness.” Alexandra said as she held out her hand.I took it but had to ask, “whaddya mean ‘lend you our power’
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100 - THE FINALE / Asher the Extravaganza
I awoke in pitch black, lying on something which I couldn’t really describe, but it was neither soft nor very hard. This wasn't my childhood bed. That much was apparent; in which I had slept in the night before, instead I found myself in what I thought was sand. It's wet too, ugh. From the feeling I got, I think I was also wearing my usual equipment, a sort of armor made of leather. It was a pretty low tier, but I thought it looked pretty cool. Why was I wearing it? I went to bed in my pajamas and now that I am here. I’m suddenly wearing it. Of course, this place could have been anywhere I could have thought of. I waited for my eyes to adjust to the darkness, but no matter how long I seemed to wait, they never did. But even though it was too dark to see anything, it wasn't too dark to hear anything. There were many people present wherever this was. Talking, shouting, screaming their heads off, moving about, and running. From the muffled sound of bare feet to the iron clang of a
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99 - The Truth
“Who are you?” Jacob asked as he pushed his wife behind him for protection. He felt a sense of confusion and fear, not knowing who this elf-man was or what he wanted from them.The elf man's response only added to Jacob's confusion. "I know this is hard to accept, but I'm your son, Asher."Jacob almost burst out laughing at how ridiculous the situation was. "And how do you plan on proving that?" he asked.“I can prove it, don’t you worry about that,” The Elf said.“How?” Curious, Zilpah raised a question. She pushed past Jacob despite his attempts to keep her behind him.Asher responded, "Well, do you remember Faye, my oh-so imaginary childhood friend? She's not quite as fantastical as you might have thought. Faye if you will," he said as he poured steaming tea into a new cup.Suddenly, an ethereal young woman manifested opposite him."I'd like you to meet her," Asher said.She didn't say a word.“We aren't really close, but she has been sharing my adventures and has occasionally been
- Asher the Insane
98 - Jacob and Zilpah, The Parents
Deep within the southern farmlands of the grand kingdom of Kathe, close to the bustling city of Wellden, there existed a quaint little farm owned by a couple named Jacob and Zilpah. These two individuals were not your typical townsfolk.They were childhood friends who grew up in the same small village on the outskirts of the town of Charlo. They spent their youth playing together in the fields and learning the ways of the land from their families, who also were farmers. As they grew older, Jacob and Zilpah started to see each other in a different light, and eventually, they fell in love.Years went by, and they stayed together through thick and thin, facing the hardships of farming and battling against droughts and pests, but they always managed to pull through with their unwavering dedication and love for one another. They watched as their crops grew tall and their livestock flourished, and they knew that they had built a life together that was worth more than any riches or fame.A f
- Asher the Insane
97 - Asher's last Hurrah for Papia
At breakfast the next day, after the weirdness Asher had with the dragon last night, he announced that he had big news.As I nonchalantly smeared jelly on a piece of bread, Asher rose from his seat and directed his attention towards the king. “"I have some big news," he announced, causing a sense of anticipation to fill the room. All eyes were now on him as he continued, "I would like for Papia to stay here in my stead, permanently. As a guide for you, but also as an important task which I believe will help her grow into her future responsibilities. She'll be dealing with all matters related to elves.I’d also like Ravana to look over her. A dragon, especially her, is someone I’d trust.What do you say, King Padillia?"There was a silence. I was in shock.As I thought about Asher's proposal, the king spoke up, stammering slightly. "I-I don't know- well, if you, rather, her... think it's best."Turning towards me, Asher asked, "And you, Papia. Are you fine with this development? A life
- Asher the Insane
96 - The Dragon's Lair
Papia's eyes widened in fear as she watched Asher approach the dragon. "What on earth would he want to confront a dragon for?!" she thought to herself. "Get the hell out of here before that monster eats you!" But Asher seemed undaunted by the creature's size and ferocity.Papia continued to cower, keeping a safe distance from the dragon."Come on, girl," Asher thought, already noticing the hiding girl, "you live in a fantasy world like this and you still think dragons, of all creatures, are mindless monstrous beasts who’ll just eat you? Jeez, you still got a lot to learn about how these things work."Asher seemed to be quite knowledgeable about dragons, though. He wanted to remind Papia that in many works of fantasy, fiction in general where they appear, dragons are often depicted as the most intelligent creatures around."Proud, sometimes arrogant, and the primary source of scalie smut out there," he remarked to himself in his mind.Despite this knowledge, Asher wasn't taking any cha
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95 - Papia's... Chase?
The moment I stepped into my room, I felt a wave of overwhelming sensation wash over me.The furniture was adorned with gold, and even the chandelier was covered to the brim with gemstones. It was gaudy, to say the least, and I couldn't help but feel like it was all too much to handle.As I kicked off my shoes and let my dress loose, I made my way over to the bed. It was like a fortress, decked out with pillows and other fancy accessories. However, it was surprisingly hard. Most likely because it had probably not been slept in very much. Still, it was better than sleeping outside on the hard ground.As I lay there with my eyes closed, I started thinking about my life. Sure, the decor was a bit outdated, but I couldn't deny the fact that having servants and gold at my disposal would be kind of nice. I could get used to this lifestyle if I had to.I dozed off. I don't know for how long, but my dreams were interrupted by the sound of something smashing on the ground in the room next door
