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2022-02-24 19:07:33After completing a lame extermination quest successfully, and having already went to collect the reward in the Adventurers Guild, I was simply minding my own business, walking down a road I have never been to yet, then, in the distance, I noticed a large group of people marching in unison.
Were they soldiers? Mercenaries? Maybe a traveling caravan?
I ran to catch up to them.
Faye, as usual nowhere to be seen unless I called to her, and usually, 'walking' or 'running' was not something she did, instead she hovered and no matter how fast I was she always kept up with me.
Recently, I roamed the world so frequently and for so long that I was unsure of which country I was in at this time.
In general, I didn’t know anything about the countries or kingdoms of this world.
It wasn't like I purposefully didn’t listen but I also didn't actively seek out any knowledge of this world.
Well, now I could learn something.
At the end of the giant march, I started talking with the last guy in the queue.
He was bit taller than average, most likely human but he had a few elf-like features, but first:
"Faye, if you will?"
-[Vicgeon Jaiver][LVL. 34 Half-Human/Half-Wood-Elf Soldier][[HP 111/190 │ MP 115/130 │ SP 154/200]]
-[[STR 15] [CON 15] [DEF 17] [INT 10] [WIS 10] [CHA 11] [DEX 13] [LCK 10] [VER 12]]-[[Lushes Block] [Body Skills] [Mental Skills]] [Shield Block LVL. 7] [Shield Slam LVL. 14] [Magic Reflection LVL. 4] [Sweeping Strike LVL. 15][Mortal Blow LVL. 8] [More Pain LVL. 11] [Lust for War LVL. 2] [Sword Blink LVL. 6]]-[Minor Infection]-This guy needs to go to a medic soon.
“Hey what’s up? Where are you marching to?” I asked.
“What? Who’re you?" He said, clearly I disturbed his peace, "get back in formation.”
Formation? That’s something someone in the military would say.
“You don’t need to be strict. I’m not a soldier, or a merc, so there's no ‘getting back in line’ for me.”
“You’re not a soldier?”
“Nope. Hi, by the way. My name is Asher. How are you? Good? That's excellent to hear. So… If you feel like it, would you mind telling me who you plan to fight?
“What is a civilian doing here of all places?” Vicgeon looked around to see if anyone else reacted to my presence.
None of the others seemed to mind my walking along.“Well, I see myself more as an independent actor than just a civilian.”
“Independent what?” He asked, "what are you blathering about?"
“Doesn't matter. Let just say I'm here on behalf of a man named Cyrus, because of the goddess Alexandra.”
“Are you a politician? Or a priest? What is someone like you doing here? Oh, by the lord. You better get to the head. I’m sure there’s someone you can talk to.”
"Thanks, I guess, Vicgeon. You been nice enough, see ya around!” I ran ahead.
“Huh, how did you know my…?”
I was already a good distance away from him.
"Refrain from telling people that you are connected to the Goddess," Faye ordered, out of the blue.
“Don't tell me what to do. I am a free man! And, personally I am, am I not? Just like you are. Maybe a bit less than you are, but still.
And you, of all people, should cut me some slack. Have you ever thought about the psychological harm you have inflicted upon me, completely changing the way I naturally look? Do you even know how I could have ended up looking like? Imagine if I looked like one of those 3d background characters in anime when the artists were too lazy to animate them properly.Shock, horror, shock again then absolute disgust!”She didn't react at all.
Maybe she just pretended that she could not return me to how I looked originally, in this world.Maybe she wanted to troll me.
"Faye, do you know what the dere types are? There are the usual Tsundere and Yandere, which I heavily disavow, Dandere, Deredere and many, many more. The likeliest you are is the Kuudere type. You're cold, but usually warm up to friends after a while, but I've never seen you with friends, or even heard any notion of you having them. Do you hang out with other Paragons while you're not down here with me? And I'm so trying to make friends with you but recently I had the crazy idea that you'll ever warm up to anyone. So, my final assessment is that you're Kuudere without the dere part."
I always had the feeling that she did not like me very much.
That rant I just gave her wasn’t going to make her like me any more than she already did, but I don’t think she’s ever going to like me anyway, so I’ll just stand my ground.
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Asher the Insane 11 - Asher the Talkative
There he was, the general. His name was Ray Netley. From head to toe he was covered in very fancy armor. At first I thought that it must have been decorative, no actual armor would look like that, but then I realized, those could have been magic engravings or something like that. I had no knowledge of the reality of armor in this world, for all I knew it could have been the most practical armor in the whole multi-verse. As a man of the 'General' class I thought that he must have a high level but, to my disappointment, he was only level 48. Was 48 considered very high? I can't seem to remember. I wondered where, or even if, I could find really high leveled people, over 100 at least. “Hi there, General,” I said to Ray, he rode on a very tall horse, which was walking very slowly to meet the speed of the marching soldiers behind him, “a very nice elf-ish man told me that I should talk to you.” “Oh, who did, and who are you?” He said, relaxing the grip of his horse's reigns. “It
Asher the Insane 12 - Asher the Disruptor
High up, in the sky, I was sitting on the air with my legs crossed, next to me was Faye, sitting in a much more lady-like fashion. Here, so far removed from anyone I wondered what she might be thinking about. "Faye, do you miss Alexandra?" I asked sincerely. At first she was silent, as she was usually, but then answered, "I do." The conversation ended there. She didn't say anything more and I didn't want to pry. That was good enough for me, and somewhere deep, I hoped it was the same for her. Unless she had some kind of mind reading ability I was sure that even she was curious about what I was about to do. Far below us, the armies of Kathe and Landsfor were preparing for a fight. Not an all out fight, mind you, but more of a ceremonial one, to show strength and honor the traditions. Well, they were in for a big surprise this year. Standing up, I walked a bit down from the air so they could see me better. I used [Amplify Voice] to yell down at them. Everyone suddenly stoppe
Asher the Insane 13 - Asher the Overleveled
"I do not care who you are but this is not the time for... whatever it is you are doing," the pretty boy king said, "proclaim yourself before me, lunatic, or my men will send you to hell where you belong." "Oh yeah? I already told you who I am, remember? I said that as loud and clear as I could,” then I mumbled to myself, "I did activate [Amplify Voice], didn't I? …Maybe I forgot?" "Enough of this, I give you one last chance," he warned me. "Calm down, Mister Righteous. Let me first consult with my companion here." I looked around for Faye, of course when I came down from the sky she must have followed me. What else would she do? Stay up there? No way, she was too good at her job, or rather, she wanted to do as best as Alexandra would want her to do it. She was kind of a simp for her goddess. But it would be funny to think that Faye, of all beings in the universe, would get fed up with my human antics and just leave. But she was too possessed by the idea of doing a good job to
Asher the Insane 14 - Asher the Clichéd
“For who doth thou think thou art to disrupt a venerated battle such as this?” The old mage asked. Of course, the first powerful person I meet in a world like this is an old man. He does look pretty fly, with a silky robe and a pointy hat. I wonder, does he have muscle under his robe? He was a mage, that usually meant that, physically, he was weak but anime logic demanded that he was buff. “The King has delivered you into mine hand to strike you down and I will send your head into his bosom. I will do this thing before all of the kingdoms and beneath the heavens. Wherefore hast thou despised the commandments of the king to do evil right before his sight? Thou hast stricken and killed in unlawful fury and hast taken up sword against the kingdom for thoued own.Now for the sword shall never depart from thine house.” Jeez, this guy was pretty intense. I imagined more of a kooky kind of old man mage. Right this moment, I couldn't think of any examples of specifically kooky old man m
Asher the Insane 15 - Asher the Thinker
Leoren readied himself. He casted a very fancy-looking spell, which didn’t seem to actually do anything but then, like a bullet; not that they have bullets in this world; sprinted towards me. He was surprisingly fast, not just for an old man. The spell he used must have been a speed buff or something in that direction. There was still a great distance between us and in the seconds it took him to get to me, Faye asked, “are you not interested in his statistics?” “No,” I turned to her, "...but do you think he's over level one-hundred?-" I pinched myself. If I asked her she’ll answer, "no, bad Asher.” I scolded myself. “Don't tell me, Faye. I want it to be a surprise." I didn’t know if Leoren had an ability similar to [Analyze]. I produced some hand signs. “Hitsuji, Mi, Tora.” He came to a sudden halt and jumped back. It didn't seem like he knew what I was going to cast at all. He just waited to see what I would do. If he had even the slightest idea what I was about to use,
Asher the Insane 16 - Rene The Young King and Leoren the Old Wizard
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Asher the Insane 17 - Old Asher and The Sea
“Faye, do you want to know where we’re going?” I asked her, leisurely walking down a rough sandy road. She didn’t answer. “Umi, the sea,” I stopped and drew the Japanese symbols of the word into the ground with my finger, it consisted of boxes and slashes. “You see?" I pointed it out to her, "you could also refer to it as Kaiyo, it’s written with the same symbol as Umi but with the Yo symbol, which I think means western.But it’s not pronounced as Umi-yo, weird, isn’t it? If you would write Kai on its own it would mean 'times'." The symbol for it looks like a square with a smaller square inside of it. "I can’t make much sense of it anymore. My Japanese is a bit rusty cause I haven't really used it for around two decades, and to me, that's a really, really long time. At least half my life span, having in mind my previous life, then I am actually a thirty-six year old man.” More silence from her. “People love the sea. Everyone I knew did, I think everyone I currently know does an
Asher the Insane 18 - A few thoughts of the Paragon Faye
I hate this mortal. Usually, I do not harbor any ill feelings for mortals; I usually do not harbor any feeling at all for them, but him… He does not treat anything or anyone with respect. One of the things he does which irritates me the most is that he does not treat the name of Lady Alexandra with the reverence it, and the Lady herself, deserves. No, he rather uses her name with contempt and associates himself freely with her, which I find revolting. I cannot imagine what kind of life he must have led in his previous one. He is an insane half-wit and I also believe him to be the same in the moments he had before he lost his sanity to this world’s system. Sheltering himself, out of his own free will, as a child and separating himself from most, if not all emotions to play out his little game of using his ability every day without miss, like a mindless automation to gain just an increment of power. And because his minuscule strength is considered fantastical in this world, he su
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My last thoughts on Asher the Insane
A special thanks to me, the writer, for writing this novel! Just joking. Thanks for coming this far. I guess I covered every trope and cliché I wanted to cover to create one of the worst “actual” web novel that is out there. Yeah, it was a train wreck through and through, but I had a lot of fun writing it. Hope you, whoever is reading this, also had at least some amount of fun reading it.It came from a somewhat shitty premise idea with isekai elements and spun into whatever it is now. Have a nice day. And as a last hurrah: Fuck you for reading this fucking garbage!
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Ending B
“Does it this time? Or are you, as always, unwilling to share what is to happen? You are a powerful god. Fate, future, past, present, all that will be. The gods have grown complacent, and it is time for a change."While Urien still making a somewhat tired speech about gods and whatever, destiny, maybe, I walked up to the hooded god, whoever he was he must have been pretty powerful, as Urien said.Without hesitation, I spoke up. "This would really be the perfect moment to blast him," I said, gesturing towards Urien.To my surprise, the hooded figure nodded in agreement. "In this you are right, mortal Asher," he said, his voice deep and resonant. And with a calm flick of his wrist, a bolt of lightning shot towards Urien.The power of the blast was unimaginable. It was as if the very fabric of reality was tearing apart at the seams. I could see the sky lighting up with bursts of energy, and I felt the ground shaking beneath my feet. The forces of the world were colliding, all in an effor
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Ending A
“Cyrus,” I heard Alexandra call, “get behind me.”“Do not protect him. If you would have cared from the beginning, then an in-numerous amount of them could have been saved. Why, little goddess, even your precious Paragon? Faye, I recall her name. Even if you can create her again, does it not bother you that she was destroyed in the first place?”“She is as we are,” Alexandra said. “She will not be bothered by your little games as she knows her purpose, which you do not seem to.”“Then it doesn’t matter if I kill your little mortal friend, does it?” He said.And as he did, a sickly black smoke approached from behind the death god towards the gods and me.With the fog/mist gone, I saw that the new smoke cloud was as tall and wide as I could see, and I was pretty confident in my sight.“Cyrus, take my hand. I must lend you our power, or you will not be if you are hit by Urien’s madness.” Alexandra said as she held out her hand.I took it but had to ask, “whaddya mean ‘lend you our power’
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100 - THE FINALE / Asher the Extravaganza
I awoke in pitch black, lying on something which I couldn’t really describe, but it was neither soft nor very hard. This wasn't my childhood bed. That much was apparent; in which I had slept in the night before, instead I found myself in what I thought was sand. It's wet too, ugh. From the feeling I got, I think I was also wearing my usual equipment, a sort of armor made of leather. It was a pretty low tier, but I thought it looked pretty cool. Why was I wearing it? I went to bed in my pajamas and now that I am here. I’m suddenly wearing it. Of course, this place could have been anywhere I could have thought of. I waited for my eyes to adjust to the darkness, but no matter how long I seemed to wait, they never did. But even though it was too dark to see anything, it wasn't too dark to hear anything. There were many people present wherever this was. Talking, shouting, screaming their heads off, moving about, and running. From the muffled sound of bare feet to the iron clang of a
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99 - The Truth
“Who are you?” Jacob asked as he pushed his wife behind him for protection. He felt a sense of confusion and fear, not knowing who this elf-man was or what he wanted from them.The elf man's response only added to Jacob's confusion. "I know this is hard to accept, but I'm your son, Asher."Jacob almost burst out laughing at how ridiculous the situation was. "And how do you plan on proving that?" he asked.“I can prove it, don’t you worry about that,” The Elf said.“How?” Curious, Zilpah raised a question. She pushed past Jacob despite his attempts to keep her behind him.Asher responded, "Well, do you remember Faye, my oh-so imaginary childhood friend? She's not quite as fantastical as you might have thought. Faye if you will," he said as he poured steaming tea into a new cup.Suddenly, an ethereal young woman manifested opposite him."I'd like you to meet her," Asher said.She didn't say a word.“We aren't really close, but she has been sharing my adventures and has occasionally been
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98 - Jacob and Zilpah, The Parents
Deep within the southern farmlands of the grand kingdom of Kathe, close to the bustling city of Wellden, there existed a quaint little farm owned by a couple named Jacob and Zilpah. These two individuals were not your typical townsfolk.They were childhood friends who grew up in the same small village on the outskirts of the town of Charlo. They spent their youth playing together in the fields and learning the ways of the land from their families, who also were farmers. As they grew older, Jacob and Zilpah started to see each other in a different light, and eventually, they fell in love.Years went by, and they stayed together through thick and thin, facing the hardships of farming and battling against droughts and pests, but they always managed to pull through with their unwavering dedication and love for one another. They watched as their crops grew tall and their livestock flourished, and they knew that they had built a life together that was worth more than any riches or fame.A f
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97 - Asher's last Hurrah for Papia
At breakfast the next day, after the weirdness Asher had with the dragon last night, he announced that he had big news.As I nonchalantly smeared jelly on a piece of bread, Asher rose from his seat and directed his attention towards the king. “"I have some big news," he announced, causing a sense of anticipation to fill the room. All eyes were now on him as he continued, "I would like for Papia to stay here in my stead, permanently. As a guide for you, but also as an important task which I believe will help her grow into her future responsibilities. She'll be dealing with all matters related to elves.I’d also like Ravana to look over her. A dragon, especially her, is someone I’d trust.What do you say, King Padillia?"There was a silence. I was in shock.As I thought about Asher's proposal, the king spoke up, stammering slightly. "I-I don't know- well, if you, rather, her... think it's best."Turning towards me, Asher asked, "And you, Papia. Are you fine with this development? A life
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96 - The Dragon's Lair
Papia's eyes widened in fear as she watched Asher approach the dragon. "What on earth would he want to confront a dragon for?!" she thought to herself. "Get the hell out of here before that monster eats you!" But Asher seemed undaunted by the creature's size and ferocity.Papia continued to cower, keeping a safe distance from the dragon."Come on, girl," Asher thought, already noticing the hiding girl, "you live in a fantasy world like this and you still think dragons, of all creatures, are mindless monstrous beasts who’ll just eat you? Jeez, you still got a lot to learn about how these things work."Asher seemed to be quite knowledgeable about dragons, though. He wanted to remind Papia that in many works of fantasy, fiction in general where they appear, dragons are often depicted as the most intelligent creatures around."Proud, sometimes arrogant, and the primary source of scalie smut out there," he remarked to himself in his mind.Despite this knowledge, Asher wasn't taking any cha
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95 - Papia's... Chase?
The moment I stepped into my room, I felt a wave of overwhelming sensation wash over me.The furniture was adorned with gold, and even the chandelier was covered to the brim with gemstones. It was gaudy, to say the least, and I couldn't help but feel like it was all too much to handle.As I kicked off my shoes and let my dress loose, I made my way over to the bed. It was like a fortress, decked out with pillows and other fancy accessories. However, it was surprisingly hard. Most likely because it had probably not been slept in very much. Still, it was better than sleeping outside on the hard ground.As I lay there with my eyes closed, I started thinking about my life. Sure, the decor was a bit outdated, but I couldn't deny the fact that having servants and gold at my disposal would be kind of nice. I could get used to this lifestyle if I had to.I dozed off. I don't know for how long, but my dreams were interrupted by the sound of something smashing on the ground in the room next door
