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Sid's Zombie Survival Guide
By:
Simon 1982
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16
16
Chapters: 49
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The Apocalypse is upon us and a group are trying to survive in Yorkshire England in a brutal new world. One man likes his simple single life but circumstances have made him rethink that life. Sid was born and bred in this town and so help him he will die here. No zombies are going to chase him away and if that means a shorter life than he could have then so be it. His old friends and family are dead as far as he knows so the only thing for it is to make new ones whenever possible. That's harder said than done when most of the population wants to kill you and that doesn't exclude the animals. Maybe he will find a way to survive and help the population recover? Maybe he won't?
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20th July
I'm a self-employed builder and drug dealer. my name is sid. I went out last night and I have the mother of all hangovers. my mouth is like Gandhi's flip flop. Today is Sunday and have a day of nothing planned the perks of being single I suppose. Know one to think about and no one to tell me what to do. I slowly and carefully swing my legs out of the bed gently putting my feet down. one hit the carpet and the other hit what I will describe as cold and slimy with a crunch to it. I look down to see that I have literally put my foot in it. when I say it I don't mean shit but a kebab from last night. there was Donna meat poking up between my toes, and chilli sauce up the side of my foot. with a sigh I put my head in my hands, this is too much for a man in my condition. I lift my head and look for something to clean up with and see that this is not my bedroom. I turn and see the outline of something under the duvet. "fuck." I whisper. think who
Sid's Zombie Survival Guide   The night has come
The night has comeWe were making our way into this tiny village of the dammed. I wanted to leave Bob behind but he started spouting a load of shit about you dot tell me what to do and I can keep up with the best of you. Blah blah blah. We were using parked cars for cover and so far so good. We hadnât seen a zombie or a person yet but we canât start counting chickens yet.Colin came up behind me and whispered in my ear.âYou see that house there. The one with the black door.âI looked over to where he was pointing and had described. From what I could see it looked empty and unremarkable.âYeah what about it?ââI saw something move.ââSomething? Like what?ââNot sure could have been a Z.ââOk keep your keen eyes peeled. Let the others know when you can.âThat pissed on my bonfire. We had only just come into this place of death and decay. Already the dead had ben seen. The shop was close. Maybe only two-fifty. Three hundred meters away. It could still be empty when we get there if we ge
Last Updated : 2024-10-29Sid's Zombie Survival Guide   Night of the 1st
Night of the 1stIf Iâm to be honest I didnât think about the time when we set off to find Sid. In my head, we might find him on our way to here. Unfortunately, we didnât. Now the light of day is going to soon fade and night is now a dangerous time for the living. Wright and the others were getting out of their vehicles and coming towards me and Bob. I climbed out.âLook we are going to have to camp here in our cars tonight unless you guys have a better idea. You know we canât go running around in the dark anymore.âRed spoke first in his fucking posh voice that went through me like a hot knife through butter.âYes, we agree with you on the fact that we canât go out at night but. We have very little in the way of food and drink.âHe was right. When he said we had very little he meant we had fuck all. James might have a chocolate bar in his pocket but that wouldnât even see him through the night.Earl stepped forward.âWe passed a small village back there. I know from back when I was a
Last Updated : 2024-10-29Sid's Zombie Survival Guide   November 1st
1st NovemberâBob where the fuck is Sid. I donât give a shit about your rules about swearing now. You had best get talking or Iâm letting April loose.ââGaz? Thatâs you right?ââYes now get on with it I need to help my friend.âBob was a scary motherfucker and I hated him with a passion but right now he was my only way of helping Sid. All the others got out safe and we are now in an empty school. We worked together to clear it of the dead over the last two days after two days of travel. On the way we kept leaving markers hoping Sid would spot them. Lucy wasnât taking it anywhere near as easy as she should have been but what do I know as she keeps telling me? Bob was talking and looking at me like that was where he fired his knives from.âHe ran and I was under the car where he shoved me. I closed my eyes and prayed that I wouldnât be seen. It felt like a lifetime under there trying not to breathe or make a sound. The zombies just kept suffering along. Could I get a drink of water plea
Last Updated : 2024-10-29Sid's Zombie Survival Guide   27th part 5
27th part 5As predicted we broke through the last few walls and weâre now stood in the last house. This house had not been loved by the previous occupants or the looters. It was a proper shit tip. Rubbish covered the floors. Wall paper was black with mold and peeling. In one room the ceiling had come down. My first impression was that this place had been abandoned for decades. There was a calendar on the wall that was from this year blowing my theory out of the water. Bob took great pleasure in pointing out my failings in deductions.âYeah Sid it must have been empty since the fifties at least. Look at the LCD. Must be at least one maybe two years, old.âThis pleasure went on for several minutes. As Bob spoke his tone changed into a higher pitch than normal just to show me how sarcastic he was being. At one point he started valuing things like an auctioneer. Looking at labels and sell-by dates on food and appraising it like it was an antique. By this point, I was getting ready to wal
Last Updated : 2024-10-29Sid's Zombie Survival Guide   27th part 4
27th part 4It didnât take long to find a claw hammer. Not the best tool for the job but it will do for now. I crouched next to the deciding wall in the loft and laid my hand flat on it.âYou see this wall Bob. Itâs out way out.ââCatch me up lad I'm lost.ââThese houses were built in the sixties. These blocks are very weak breeze blocks. On top of this bonus the wall is only one skin up here. When I say one skin. I mean that this is all that stands between us and next door. With this hammer I can make a hole big enough to fit through in about fifteen minutes. There is going to be five more until the end of the terrace. By the time we get there I reckon that the zombies will be far enough away for us to make our escape and we will be on the opposite side of the building to the dogs and five doors away. What do you think?ââI think you should shut up and start making a hole.âSo I did. As I thought the blocks were weak and once I had made a small hole it was easy. The whole got bigger
Last Updated : 2024-10-29Sid's Zombie Survival Guide   27th part 3
27th part 3Before I could react Bob had one of the beasts flying through the air towards his face. In the blink of an eye, he had skillfully put a knife through its temple. The dog dropped to the floor limp and lifeless. The dark brown almost black blood trickled from its new wound.Now wasnât the time for me to admire Bob's handy work. He had a dog bounding towards him and I had one flying through the air like a bad superhero. It would have amused me if it was wearing a mask and cape. It wasnât it was covered in blood mattered hair dirt of all kinds and was like all other things that were dead rotting.With a powerful blow the thing hit me and hard. As I was going down the weight of it shifted to my left. One knife handle sticking out of itâs eye. Bob's hands were empty and there was another dog on his way and more weâre coming from other directions. There was nothing for it. I had to carry Bob and run. I doubt he is going to like this but tough shit if he wants to live.âBob hand n
Last Updated : 2024-10-29Sid's Zombie Survival Guide   27th part 2
27th part 2The sound was getting louder and louder. The moans and groans. Shuffling sounds of the dead coming. This was the sound and smell of death walking and I didnât need to experience this again. Not now. My radio crackles to life and the voice of Write comes through.âSid this is bad. Huge conga line of zombies coming your way and they look like they are tied together.ââOk get yourselves out of here spread the word. I will get Bob and meet you.ââNo thatâs suicide. There are hundreds of the things coming your way.ââYou havenât seen Bob in action. I think. No I know we can do this.âI lied. I was no way I was as confident as I was trying to show. There was a definite chance I was going to die. Had I just had enough and this was my way of going without a bye. My hand clicked off my radio.The herd wasnât in sight yet but this looked like my only chance to leave this house. The place looked deserted. Normal people had vanished almost completely but zombies were coming on mass no
Last Updated : 2024-10-29Sid's Zombie Survival Guide   27th October
27th OctoberPositions were taken. We had walkie talkies to communicate with each other. I was the one nearest to where Mr Stainburn was going to be meeting me. Gaz Earl and Write had taken up sniper positions giving me a bit of protection. Itchy was parked close by in his tank waiting for a signal off anyone to drive in and pick me up if it all went to shit. The girls and kids were in two cars parked about ten miles away hopefully out of harms way. Colin was acting like a messenger to run between us if anything went wrong with our radios. Red was holding back with rounds of ammunition so that if the others got caught they would only lose limited supplies. If Red was caught as well then we were fucked. Now Bob was missing. He told me he would do what was needed and that I didnt tell him. The grumpy old cunt just got in his car last night and fucked off.I was in a house opposite where I was meant to meet the biggest prick on the planet. It wasnât an easy mission to accomplish. To get
Last Updated : 2024-10-29Sid's Zombie Survival Guide   26th part 2
26th part 2The plan was sort of in my head now and while everyone was here I thought it was a good time to start saying it out loud.âColin. I have a little job for you. Make some drinks. Iâm going to get water-hungry. The word escapes me right now. You know when you need a drink?ââThirsty?âColin answered me looking unsure of what I was talking about.âYeah, thatâs the word. Now everyone listen up get a pen and paper if you need. Are you all ready?âThey all nodded except the old guy. He put his hand up.âYes errrâŠ. Whatâs your name? I havenât asked yet.ââI'm Bob. Can I go to the toilet before you start?ââFuck me Bob. Yes go be as quick as you can though.ââI asked you not to swear around me and told you you donât tell me I tell you. Thatâs my last warning to you all.âHe left after his few words. Gaz got really angry again.âWho the fuck is this old guy to talk to any of us like that. He has no say in what happens. We donât know him or fuck all. He has only just told you his fuc
Last Updated : 2024-10-29
đangelbabyy
I love it,you got to keep going people want you to x
Maida
Please continue the story!
tcarson00
Loving the book so far. Curious when any more chapters will be available and how often the author publishs them. Going to start looking into the Authors other 2 books in the newr future.
Lynsi
Oh no! It canât be the end. Right? Please tell me there will be more chapters? I love this story line and have to know how things work out for Sid and his crew.
Maida
Hooked to this story, read all chapters available, will be waiting anxiously for the updates.
QingDom
great book. the MC is so real, so lifelike, s human. a sorry excuse for a human but human nonetheless. it was fun to read and tne chapters aren't too long or too short, perfect!
K.A.Tilson
I am hooked already! this book is amazing.