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2022-02-24 19:11:30"I do not care who you are but this is not the time for... whatever it is you are doing," the pretty boy king said, "proclaim yourself before me, lunatic, or my men will send you to hell where you belong."
"Oh yeah? I already told you who I am, remember? I said that as loud and clear as I could,” then I mumbled to myself, "I did activate [Amplify Voice], didn't I? …Maybe I forgot?"
"Enough of this, I give you one last chance," he warned me.
"Calm down, Mister Righteous. Let me first consult with my companion here."
I looked around for Faye, of course when I came down from the sky she must have followed me.
What else would she do? Stay up there?
No way, she was too good at her job, or rather, she wanted to do as best as Alexandra would want her to do it. She was kind of a simp for her goddess.
But it would be funny to think that Faye, of all beings in the universe, would get fed up with my human antics and just leave.
But she was too possessed by the idea of doing a good job to even think about something like that.
And she has already been with me for about eighteen years, that girl has the patience of a monk, or a non-human semi-divine creation by the goddess of redemption, one or the other.
She was a stone's throw away from me, just watching as I got into an argument with almost two whole countries at the same time.
"Faye, will you tell me what level I am? And please round it, I don't need to know the exact number," I asked her discreetly.
"Twenty-Eight-Decillion," she answered in an instant.
“And judging from what I’ve seen, their strongest solider isn’t even fifty. Not even their General is a high level.”
I looked at the boy king, chuckled a bit to myself, then said loudly, “call me Seiya cause it looks like I’m overpowered, though I’m no saint.”
The 'King' was quite displeased when hearing that.
"Saint or no saint, you who is called Seiya. You have proven yourself an enemy of the Kingdom of Landsfor and it's people, and thereby have forfeited your life."
"Oh yeah, you want to mess with the guy who knocked out at least a quarter of a few thousand soldiers just using one spell. ‘He can't be that strong, right?’ And please,” I bowed deeply, ”call me Asher."
He said, "Men, at him," while pointing his sword at me, and a few soldiers with spears charged at me.
Calling them trash mobs would be rude but that's basically what these guys were to me, they proved no challenge at all.
To get rid of them, I didn't even cast a spell; instead, I fired mana from my fingertips. With a couple zaps and a bigger pew to a soldier who was particularly tough, they were easily dispatched of.
Still, I didn't actively try to kill them- though now it wouldn't make any difference if I did, would it?
I already was an enemy of the Landsfor state.Eh, I’m gonna let it slide this time.
But it was hard controlling the powers I had, I only had a little practice and most of the time when I used a spell it was the first time I used it, so trying to gauge their power was practically useless.
It was fun to use new spells, and I couldn't keep myself from not using them, like I had an overwhelming urge to and I was too weak to control it.
In any case, I wasn't going to let them stab me. What crazy man would just let himself get hurt like that, specially on purpose?
"I don't want to sound condescending or anything but you see that I'm too strong for this type of play, right? Tell you what, if you forgive my crimes," I said in air-quotes, "then I'll leave without a hitch, scout's honor."
“You may think that you have power, you will be tested yet,” the king said and ordered a couple of new guards to pick up the fallen ones.
“Sorry if I killed them,” I said, it was a genuine apology.
Get the High-Invoker, he ordered, turning his horse to face his soldiers. "We do not have to cope with buffoonery such as this," he said.
The sea of soldiers split again and out came a man. He was old and had a long beard, his blue robe, as any mage should have, flowed gracefully in the wind.
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Asher the Insane 14 - Asher the Clichéd
“For who doth thou think thou art to disrupt a venerated battle such as this?” The old mage asked. Of course, the first powerful person I meet in a world like this is an old man. He does look pretty fly, with a silky robe and a pointy hat. I wonder, does he have muscle under his robe? He was a mage, that usually meant that, physically, he was weak but anime logic demanded that he was buff. “The King has delivered you into mine hand to strike you down and I will send your head into his bosom. I will do this thing before all of the kingdoms and beneath the heavens. Wherefore hast thou despised the commandments of the king to do evil right before his sight? Thou hast stricken and killed in unlawful fury and hast taken up sword against the kingdom for thoued own.Now for the sword shall never depart from thine house.” Jeez, this guy was pretty intense. I imagined more of a kooky kind of old man mage. Right this moment, I couldn't think of any examples of specifically kooky old man m
Asher the Insane 15 - Asher the Thinker
Leoren readied himself. He casted a very fancy-looking spell, which didn’t seem to actually do anything but then, like a bullet; not that they have bullets in this world; sprinted towards me. He was surprisingly fast, not just for an old man. The spell he used must have been a speed buff or something in that direction. There was still a great distance between us and in the seconds it took him to get to me, Faye asked, “are you not interested in his statistics?” “No,” I turned to her, "...but do you think he's over level one-hundred?-" I pinched myself. If I asked her she’ll answer, "no, bad Asher.” I scolded myself. “Don't tell me, Faye. I want it to be a surprise." I didn’t know if Leoren had an ability similar to [Analyze]. I produced some hand signs. “Hitsuji, Mi, Tora.” He came to a sudden halt and jumped back. It didn't seem like he knew what I was going to cast at all. He just waited to see what I would do. If he had even the slightest idea what I was about to use,
Asher the Insane 16 - Rene The Young King and Leoren the Old Wizard
There was a time when the monarch of Landsfor and his closest ally sat in the royal banquet hall in relaxation. That moment wasn't now. The most recent ruler of Landsfor, Rene Retaire, sat in a state of rage, worry, and other negative emotions that had begun to rise up inside of him even before the annual conflict with their primary rival kingdom, Kathe. He slammed his fist into the large table filled with delectable foods in front of him and cried, "Damn it all! "What is it, my lord?" Leoren, the elderly figure known as High-Invoker, asked the king. He mumbled numb, "It's nothing," in response. "I simply can't stop thinking about what occurred."" The old man sprang up from his chair and bowed to his monarch, saying, "My lord, my heart genuinely tears with grief." "Leoren, stand up and quit addressing me as Lord. I had thought that since I have been Rene to you for my whole life, it would continue to be so for the rest. Do not bother yourself with my sorrows. Nobody could have i
Asher the Insane 17 - Old Asher and The Sea
“Faye, do you want to know where we’re going?” I asked her, leisurely walking down a rough sandy road. She didn’t answer. “Umi, the sea,” I stopped and drew the Japanese symbols of the word into the ground with my finger, it consisted of boxes and slashes. “You see?" I pointed it out to her, "you could also refer to it as Kaiyo, it’s written with the same symbol as Umi but with the Yo symbol, which I think means western.But it’s not pronounced as Umi-yo, weird, isn’t it? If you would write Kai on its own it would mean 'times'." The symbol for it looks like a square with a smaller square inside of it. "I can’t make much sense of it anymore. My Japanese is a bit rusty cause I haven't really used it for around two decades, and to me, that's a really, really long time. At least half my life span, having in mind my previous life, then I am actually a thirty-six year old man.” More silence from her. “People love the sea. Everyone I knew did, I think everyone I currently know does an
Asher the Insane 18 - A few thoughts of the Paragon Faye
I hate this mortal. Usually, I do not harbor any ill feelings for mortals; I usually do not harbor any feeling at all for them, but him… He does not treat anything or anyone with respect. One of the things he does which irritates me the most is that he does not treat the name of Lady Alexandra with the reverence it, and the Lady herself, deserves. No, he rather uses her name with contempt and associates himself freely with her, which I find revolting. I cannot imagine what kind of life he must have led in his previous one. He is an insane half-wit and I also believe him to be the same in the moments he had before he lost his sanity to this world’s system. Sheltering himself, out of his own free will, as a child and separating himself from most, if not all emotions to play out his little game of using his ability every day without miss, like a mindless automation to gain just an increment of power. And because his minuscule strength is considered fantastical in this world, he su
Asher the Insane 19 - Asher the True Bloke
Since yesterday, my life has taken a turn for the better. I stumbled upon a charming little cottage nestled in the sand dunes by the beach. I had been looking for a place to rest my weary bones for quite some time, and this little cottage was the perfect haven for me. It had everything I needed, from a comfortable bed to a well-stocked kitchen, mind you they were all mine. I carried them around in the skill [Bag Universe], which looked like a literal hole in the fabric of the universe when I used the skill to put something in or took something out. The best part was the spectacular view of the ocean from the porch. I haven't been Sword for a while now, since shortly after the battle between me and Leoren. Now, I was just a thick-set older man, with arms and legs like tree trunks, and a body that had seen better days. Short, also, but not so short that I could have been mistaken for a dwarf. There was a question on my mind: how come I was, mentally, the same as I always was? M
Asher the Insane 20 - Aini the Prisoner
The newcomers' chain clanging could already be heard. Another throng of unfortunate people are being brought by the slave-drivers to their doom. This time, there were thirteen; it felt like their numbers grew along with the brutality of the handlers every time there were new arrivals, which by this point had virtually been every week. One of the fresh ones, who was confined by four handlers, was subjected to particularly cruel treatment, being beaten for every single step he took, his neck must have been in constant pain because of the spikes of the man-catcher they held him in. His movements were slow and deliberate, and the chains that bound his wrists, feet, and upper body as a whole must have been almost as heavy as he was. Yet they were having trouble containing him. A member of the equitaur race. I’ve heard of them, but this was the first time I’ve actually seen one. They’re much taller than I had expected, and this one was very rowdy. They flung him into the cell I had be
Asher the Insane 21 - Aini the Cell Mate
He was strange, but calling him strange was the least I could say. But other words I could come up with still didn't fit exactly right. Words like 'eccentric', 'odd', or 'bizarre', did not do his manner justice. "What are you waiting for, Asher? I witnessed you tear steel with your bare hands. Why are you still in this miserable cell? Let us go out, free, and liberate our fellow man." I demanded of him, but first, there was just one query: "How did they even manage to capture you?" I braced myself for once again another flood of gibberish from him as he started, "Well, I let myself get captured on purpose," he said. I said "Why?" in disbelief, not just to him, but in general. "Gods forbid, why would you ever do that? What's wrong with you? Who or what gave you the notion that it would be wise to allow oneself to be taken captive?" "It doesn't matter," I said after a little period of silence, during which I let the shock pass. "You wouldn't get very far even with that wondrous might
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My last thoughts on Asher the Insane
A special thanks to me, the writer, for writing this novel! Just joking. Thanks for coming this far. I guess I covered every trope and cliché I wanted to cover to create one of the worst “actual” web novel that is out there. Yeah, it was a train wreck through and through, but I had a lot of fun writing it. Hope you, whoever is reading this, also had at least some amount of fun reading it.It came from a somewhat shitty premise idea with isekai elements and spun into whatever it is now. Have a nice day. And as a last hurrah: Fuck you for reading this fucking garbage!
- Asher the Insane
Ending B
“Does it this time? Or are you, as always, unwilling to share what is to happen? You are a powerful god. Fate, future, past, present, all that will be. The gods have grown complacent, and it is time for a change."While Urien still making a somewhat tired speech about gods and whatever, destiny, maybe, I walked up to the hooded god, whoever he was he must have been pretty powerful, as Urien said.Without hesitation, I spoke up. "This would really be the perfect moment to blast him," I said, gesturing towards Urien.To my surprise, the hooded figure nodded in agreement. "In this you are right, mortal Asher," he said, his voice deep and resonant. And with a calm flick of his wrist, a bolt of lightning shot towards Urien.The power of the blast was unimaginable. It was as if the very fabric of reality was tearing apart at the seams. I could see the sky lighting up with bursts of energy, and I felt the ground shaking beneath my feet. The forces of the world were colliding, all in an effor
- Asher the Insane
Ending A
“Cyrus,” I heard Alexandra call, “get behind me.”“Do not protect him. If you would have cared from the beginning, then an in-numerous amount of them could have been saved. Why, little goddess, even your precious Paragon? Faye, I recall her name. Even if you can create her again, does it not bother you that she was destroyed in the first place?”“She is as we are,” Alexandra said. “She will not be bothered by your little games as she knows her purpose, which you do not seem to.”“Then it doesn’t matter if I kill your little mortal friend, does it?” He said.And as he did, a sickly black smoke approached from behind the death god towards the gods and me.With the fog/mist gone, I saw that the new smoke cloud was as tall and wide as I could see, and I was pretty confident in my sight.“Cyrus, take my hand. I must lend you our power, or you will not be if you are hit by Urien’s madness.” Alexandra said as she held out her hand.I took it but had to ask, “whaddya mean ‘lend you our power’
- Asher the Insane
100 - THE FINALE / Asher the Extravaganza
I awoke in pitch black, lying on something which I couldn’t really describe, but it was neither soft nor very hard. This wasn't my childhood bed. That much was apparent; in which I had slept in the night before, instead I found myself in what I thought was sand. It's wet too, ugh. From the feeling I got, I think I was also wearing my usual equipment, a sort of armor made of leather. It was a pretty low tier, but I thought it looked pretty cool. Why was I wearing it? I went to bed in my pajamas and now that I am here. I’m suddenly wearing it. Of course, this place could have been anywhere I could have thought of. I waited for my eyes to adjust to the darkness, but no matter how long I seemed to wait, they never did. But even though it was too dark to see anything, it wasn't too dark to hear anything. There were many people present wherever this was. Talking, shouting, screaming their heads off, moving about, and running. From the muffled sound of bare feet to the iron clang of a
- Asher the Insane
99 - The Truth
“Who are you?” Jacob asked as he pushed his wife behind him for protection. He felt a sense of confusion and fear, not knowing who this elf-man was or what he wanted from them.The elf man's response only added to Jacob's confusion. "I know this is hard to accept, but I'm your son, Asher."Jacob almost burst out laughing at how ridiculous the situation was. "And how do you plan on proving that?" he asked.“I can prove it, don’t you worry about that,” The Elf said.“How?” Curious, Zilpah raised a question. She pushed past Jacob despite his attempts to keep her behind him.Asher responded, "Well, do you remember Faye, my oh-so imaginary childhood friend? She's not quite as fantastical as you might have thought. Faye if you will," he said as he poured steaming tea into a new cup.Suddenly, an ethereal young woman manifested opposite him."I'd like you to meet her," Asher said.She didn't say a word.“We aren't really close, but she has been sharing my adventures and has occasionally been
- Asher the Insane
98 - Jacob and Zilpah, The Parents
Deep within the southern farmlands of the grand kingdom of Kathe, close to the bustling city of Wellden, there existed a quaint little farm owned by a couple named Jacob and Zilpah. These two individuals were not your typical townsfolk.They were childhood friends who grew up in the same small village on the outskirts of the town of Charlo. They spent their youth playing together in the fields and learning the ways of the land from their families, who also were farmers. As they grew older, Jacob and Zilpah started to see each other in a different light, and eventually, they fell in love.Years went by, and they stayed together through thick and thin, facing the hardships of farming and battling against droughts and pests, but they always managed to pull through with their unwavering dedication and love for one another. They watched as their crops grew tall and their livestock flourished, and they knew that they had built a life together that was worth more than any riches or fame.A f
- Asher the Insane
97 - Asher's last Hurrah for Papia
At breakfast the next day, after the weirdness Asher had with the dragon last night, he announced that he had big news.As I nonchalantly smeared jelly on a piece of bread, Asher rose from his seat and directed his attention towards the king. “"I have some big news," he announced, causing a sense of anticipation to fill the room. All eyes were now on him as he continued, "I would like for Papia to stay here in my stead, permanently. As a guide for you, but also as an important task which I believe will help her grow into her future responsibilities. She'll be dealing with all matters related to elves.I’d also like Ravana to look over her. A dragon, especially her, is someone I’d trust.What do you say, King Padillia?"There was a silence. I was in shock.As I thought about Asher's proposal, the king spoke up, stammering slightly. "I-I don't know- well, if you, rather, her... think it's best."Turning towards me, Asher asked, "And you, Papia. Are you fine with this development? A life
- Asher the Insane
96 - The Dragon's Lair
Papia's eyes widened in fear as she watched Asher approach the dragon. "What on earth would he want to confront a dragon for?!" she thought to herself. "Get the hell out of here before that monster eats you!" But Asher seemed undaunted by the creature's size and ferocity.Papia continued to cower, keeping a safe distance from the dragon."Come on, girl," Asher thought, already noticing the hiding girl, "you live in a fantasy world like this and you still think dragons, of all creatures, are mindless monstrous beasts who’ll just eat you? Jeez, you still got a lot to learn about how these things work."Asher seemed to be quite knowledgeable about dragons, though. He wanted to remind Papia that in many works of fantasy, fiction in general where they appear, dragons are often depicted as the most intelligent creatures around."Proud, sometimes arrogant, and the primary source of scalie smut out there," he remarked to himself in his mind.Despite this knowledge, Asher wasn't taking any cha
- Asher the Insane
95 - Papia's... Chase?
The moment I stepped into my room, I felt a wave of overwhelming sensation wash over me.The furniture was adorned with gold, and even the chandelier was covered to the brim with gemstones. It was gaudy, to say the least, and I couldn't help but feel like it was all too much to handle.As I kicked off my shoes and let my dress loose, I made my way over to the bed. It was like a fortress, decked out with pillows and other fancy accessories. However, it was surprisingly hard. Most likely because it had probably not been slept in very much. Still, it was better than sleeping outside on the hard ground.As I lay there with my eyes closed, I started thinking about my life. Sure, the decor was a bit outdated, but I couldn't deny the fact that having servants and gold at my disposal would be kind of nice. I could get used to this lifestyle if I had to.I dozed off. I don't know for how long, but my dreams were interrupted by the sound of something smashing on the ground in the room next door