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2022-02-24 19:12:41“For who doth thou think thou art to disrupt a venerated battle such as this?” The old mage asked.
Of course, the first powerful person I meet in a world like this is an old man.
He does look pretty fly, with a silky robe and a pointy hat. I wonder, does he have muscle under his robe?
He was a mage, that usually meant that, physically, he was weak but anime logic demanded that he was buff.
“The King has delivered you into mine hand to strike you down and I will send your head into his bosom. I will do this thing before all of the kingdoms and beneath the heavens. Wherefore hast thou despised the commandments of the king to do evil right before his sight? Thou hast stricken and killed in unlawful fury and hast taken up sword against the kingdom for thoued own.
Now for the sword shall never depart from thine house.”Jeez, this guy was pretty intense.
I imagined more of a kooky kind of old man mage.
Right this moment, I couldn't think of any examples of specifically kooky old man mages in anime, but who I did thought of were Gandalf and Dumbledoor, who were both kind of strange and weird mages at the beginning of their respective stories, only to get more serious the further the book, or movies, went along.
But not this guy, he was serious from the get go.
“I get it. Enough quoting scripture. Tell me, Mage-Man, you really like your king, don’t you? Your kingdom too, I hope. I don't have anything against neither of them, so tell your king to absolve me from my 'crimes'," I air-quoted again, "and then I’ll just leave. Also, I don’t think I’ve killed anyone, yet, or that's what I really hoped for. Please, I beg of you, don't go all out on me, you may die from a heart attack or something the like. I don't know exactly how old you are but a man your age shouldn't be see much action.”
“I will raise up evil from beneath thine own feet and will take thine heart and give it over to mine king and he shalt take your gods and has them for his own this sun.
Who has givens thou the commandments to rise in evil against all the people that stand before you?”I had to think a bit, I didn’t really know what I was getting into.
“I do this of my own accord. Rest assured, there's no one standing behind me, pulling some sort of strings for a higher, maybe more evil, cause,” I told him plainly.
I think that was the right thing to say.
“I'm the only one in this world-” I remembered that Faye was with me, “myself and that girl over there," I clearly pointed her out so that everyone could see, "are the only two people I kind of hold in high regard in this world.”
“Then why art thou, being as the right and left hand of thine own, here holding the sword against us?”
“Hey, you can end this at any time. I don't want to spend my free time being hunted by you guys or some kind of bounty hunter who thinks I'm their next jackpot,” I shrugged my shoulders at him.
"I advise you to turn and depart this field, just like prey would do if it were being pursued by a predator," he said.
“I feel more like a predator and you are like an alien to me…” I felt embarrassed and cringed at myself the second I said that.
“My heart is deeply saddened for thou hast not hearken onto the voice of my king nor mine own.
I am Leoren, son of Kaelmar, son of Lutumal. Proclaim your name before me.”“My name is Asher, Asher Burell. Remember that name, it's going to be important in the future. Here's a bit about myself: I am a enthusiast of many things, mostly, to my shame, it's consuming garbage shows, literature and games then complaining about their quality on online forums but still going ahead and not stop consuming them or change anything at all. I just watch the decline of everything I actually like. I don't work in the industry so there's not much to do. I also hated the idea of paying for them, so I pirated everything from these industries, to not give them a single cent to discourage them releasing that shit.”
“This day shall be the last you spent on this world.
Behold for the righteous might the lord has given onto me.”
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Asher the Insane 15 - Asher the Thinker
Leoren readied himself. He casted a very fancy-looking spell, which didn’t seem to actually do anything but then, like a bullet; not that they have bullets in this world; sprinted towards me. He was surprisingly fast, not just for an old man. The spell he used must have been a speed buff or something in that direction. There was still a great distance between us and in the seconds it took him to get to me, Faye asked, “are you not interested in his statistics?” “No,” I turned to her, "...but do you think he's over level one-hundred?-" I pinched myself. If I asked her she’ll answer, "no, bad Asher.” I scolded myself. “Don't tell me, Faye. I want it to be a surprise." I didn’t know if Leoren had an ability similar to [Analyze]. I produced some hand signs. “Hitsuji, Mi, Tora.” He came to a sudden halt and jumped back. It didn't seem like he knew what I was going to cast at all. He just waited to see what I would do. If he had even the slightest idea what I was about to use,
Asher the Insane 16 - Rene The Young King and Leoren the Old Wizard
There was a time when the monarch of Landsfor and his closest ally sat in the royal banquet hall in relaxation. That moment wasn't now. The most recent ruler of Landsfor, Rene Retaire, sat in a state of rage, worry, and other negative emotions that had begun to rise up inside of him even before the annual conflict with their primary rival kingdom, Kathe. He slammed his fist into the large table filled with delectable foods in front of him and cried, "Damn it all! "What is it, my lord?" Leoren, the elderly figure known as High-Invoker, asked the king. He mumbled numb, "It's nothing," in response. "I simply can't stop thinking about what occurred."" The old man sprang up from his chair and bowed to his monarch, saying, "My lord, my heart genuinely tears with grief." "Leoren, stand up and quit addressing me as Lord. I had thought that since I have been Rene to you for my whole life, it would continue to be so for the rest. Do not bother yourself with my sorrows. Nobody could have i
Asher the Insane 17 - Old Asher and The Sea
“Faye, do you want to know where we’re going?” I asked her, leisurely walking down a rough sandy road. She didn’t answer. “Umi, the sea,” I stopped and drew the Japanese symbols of the word into the ground with my finger, it consisted of boxes and slashes. “You see?" I pointed it out to her, "you could also refer to it as Kaiyo, it’s written with the same symbol as Umi but with the Yo symbol, which I think means western.But it’s not pronounced as Umi-yo, weird, isn’t it? If you would write Kai on its own it would mean 'times'." The symbol for it looks like a square with a smaller square inside of it. "I can’t make much sense of it anymore. My Japanese is a bit rusty cause I haven't really used it for around two decades, and to me, that's a really, really long time. At least half my life span, having in mind my previous life, then I am actually a thirty-six year old man.” More silence from her. “People love the sea. Everyone I knew did, I think everyone I currently know does an
Asher the Insane 18 - A few thoughts of the Paragon Faye
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Asher the Insane 20 - Aini the Prisoner
The newcomers' chain clanging could already be heard. Another throng of unfortunate people are being brought by the slave-drivers to their doom. This time, there were thirteen; it felt like their numbers grew along with the brutality of the handlers every time there were new arrivals, which by this point had virtually been every week. One of the fresh ones, who was confined by four handlers, was subjected to particularly cruel treatment, being beaten for every single step he took, his neck must have been in constant pain because of the spikes of the man-catcher they held him in. His movements were slow and deliberate, and the chains that bound his wrists, feet, and upper body as a whole must have been almost as heavy as he was. Yet they were having trouble containing him. A member of the equitaur race. I’ve heard of them, but this was the first time I’ve actually seen one. They’re much taller than I had expected, and this one was very rowdy. They flung him into the cell I had be
Asher the Insane 21 - Aini the Cell Mate
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Asher the Insane 22 - Baohu the Watcher
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My last thoughts on Asher the Insane
A special thanks to me, the writer, for writing this novel! Just joking. Thanks for coming this far. I guess I covered every trope and cliché I wanted to cover to create one of the worst “actual” web novel that is out there. Yeah, it was a train wreck through and through, but I had a lot of fun writing it. Hope you, whoever is reading this, also had at least some amount of fun reading it.It came from a somewhat shitty premise idea with isekai elements and spun into whatever it is now. Have a nice day. And as a last hurrah: Fuck you for reading this fucking garbage!
- Asher the Insane
Ending B
“Does it this time? Or are you, as always, unwilling to share what is to happen? You are a powerful god. Fate, future, past, present, all that will be. The gods have grown complacent, and it is time for a change."While Urien still making a somewhat tired speech about gods and whatever, destiny, maybe, I walked up to the hooded god, whoever he was he must have been pretty powerful, as Urien said.Without hesitation, I spoke up. "This would really be the perfect moment to blast him," I said, gesturing towards Urien.To my surprise, the hooded figure nodded in agreement. "In this you are right, mortal Asher," he said, his voice deep and resonant. And with a calm flick of his wrist, a bolt of lightning shot towards Urien.The power of the blast was unimaginable. It was as if the very fabric of reality was tearing apart at the seams. I could see the sky lighting up with bursts of energy, and I felt the ground shaking beneath my feet. The forces of the world were colliding, all in an effor
- Asher the Insane
Ending A
“Cyrus,” I heard Alexandra call, “get behind me.”“Do not protect him. If you would have cared from the beginning, then an in-numerous amount of them could have been saved. Why, little goddess, even your precious Paragon? Faye, I recall her name. Even if you can create her again, does it not bother you that she was destroyed in the first place?”“She is as we are,” Alexandra said. “She will not be bothered by your little games as she knows her purpose, which you do not seem to.”“Then it doesn’t matter if I kill your little mortal friend, does it?” He said.And as he did, a sickly black smoke approached from behind the death god towards the gods and me.With the fog/mist gone, I saw that the new smoke cloud was as tall and wide as I could see, and I was pretty confident in my sight.“Cyrus, take my hand. I must lend you our power, or you will not be if you are hit by Urien’s madness.” Alexandra said as she held out her hand.I took it but had to ask, “whaddya mean ‘lend you our power’
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100 - THE FINALE / Asher the Extravaganza
I awoke in pitch black, lying on something which I couldn’t really describe, but it was neither soft nor very hard. This wasn't my childhood bed. That much was apparent; in which I had slept in the night before, instead I found myself in what I thought was sand. It's wet too, ugh. From the feeling I got, I think I was also wearing my usual equipment, a sort of armor made of leather. It was a pretty low tier, but I thought it looked pretty cool. Why was I wearing it? I went to bed in my pajamas and now that I am here. I’m suddenly wearing it. Of course, this place could have been anywhere I could have thought of. I waited for my eyes to adjust to the darkness, but no matter how long I seemed to wait, they never did. But even though it was too dark to see anything, it wasn't too dark to hear anything. There were many people present wherever this was. Talking, shouting, screaming their heads off, moving about, and running. From the muffled sound of bare feet to the iron clang of a
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99 - The Truth
“Who are you?” Jacob asked as he pushed his wife behind him for protection. He felt a sense of confusion and fear, not knowing who this elf-man was or what he wanted from them.The elf man's response only added to Jacob's confusion. "I know this is hard to accept, but I'm your son, Asher."Jacob almost burst out laughing at how ridiculous the situation was. "And how do you plan on proving that?" he asked.“I can prove it, don’t you worry about that,” The Elf said.“How?” Curious, Zilpah raised a question. She pushed past Jacob despite his attempts to keep her behind him.Asher responded, "Well, do you remember Faye, my oh-so imaginary childhood friend? She's not quite as fantastical as you might have thought. Faye if you will," he said as he poured steaming tea into a new cup.Suddenly, an ethereal young woman manifested opposite him."I'd like you to meet her," Asher said.She didn't say a word.“We aren't really close, but she has been sharing my adventures and has occasionally been
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98 - Jacob and Zilpah, The Parents
Deep within the southern farmlands of the grand kingdom of Kathe, close to the bustling city of Wellden, there existed a quaint little farm owned by a couple named Jacob and Zilpah. These two individuals were not your typical townsfolk.They were childhood friends who grew up in the same small village on the outskirts of the town of Charlo. They spent their youth playing together in the fields and learning the ways of the land from their families, who also were farmers. As they grew older, Jacob and Zilpah started to see each other in a different light, and eventually, they fell in love.Years went by, and they stayed together through thick and thin, facing the hardships of farming and battling against droughts and pests, but they always managed to pull through with their unwavering dedication and love for one another. They watched as their crops grew tall and their livestock flourished, and they knew that they had built a life together that was worth more than any riches or fame.A f
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97 - Asher's last Hurrah for Papia
At breakfast the next day, after the weirdness Asher had with the dragon last night, he announced that he had big news.As I nonchalantly smeared jelly on a piece of bread, Asher rose from his seat and directed his attention towards the king. “"I have some big news," he announced, causing a sense of anticipation to fill the room. All eyes were now on him as he continued, "I would like for Papia to stay here in my stead, permanently. As a guide for you, but also as an important task which I believe will help her grow into her future responsibilities. She'll be dealing with all matters related to elves.I’d also like Ravana to look over her. A dragon, especially her, is someone I’d trust.What do you say, King Padillia?"There was a silence. I was in shock.As I thought about Asher's proposal, the king spoke up, stammering slightly. "I-I don't know- well, if you, rather, her... think it's best."Turning towards me, Asher asked, "And you, Papia. Are you fine with this development? A life
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96 - The Dragon's Lair
Papia's eyes widened in fear as she watched Asher approach the dragon. "What on earth would he want to confront a dragon for?!" she thought to herself. "Get the hell out of here before that monster eats you!" But Asher seemed undaunted by the creature's size and ferocity.Papia continued to cower, keeping a safe distance from the dragon."Come on, girl," Asher thought, already noticing the hiding girl, "you live in a fantasy world like this and you still think dragons, of all creatures, are mindless monstrous beasts who’ll just eat you? Jeez, you still got a lot to learn about how these things work."Asher seemed to be quite knowledgeable about dragons, though. He wanted to remind Papia that in many works of fantasy, fiction in general where they appear, dragons are often depicted as the most intelligent creatures around."Proud, sometimes arrogant, and the primary source of scalie smut out there," he remarked to himself in his mind.Despite this knowledge, Asher wasn't taking any cha
- Asher the Insane
95 - Papia's... Chase?
The moment I stepped into my room, I felt a wave of overwhelming sensation wash over me.The furniture was adorned with gold, and even the chandelier was covered to the brim with gemstones. It was gaudy, to say the least, and I couldn't help but feel like it was all too much to handle.As I kicked off my shoes and let my dress loose, I made my way over to the bed. It was like a fortress, decked out with pillows and other fancy accessories. However, it was surprisingly hard. Most likely because it had probably not been slept in very much. Still, it was better than sleeping outside on the hard ground.As I lay there with my eyes closed, I started thinking about my life. Sure, the decor was a bit outdated, but I couldn't deny the fact that having servants and gold at my disposal would be kind of nice. I could get used to this lifestyle if I had to.I dozed off. I don't know for how long, but my dreams were interrupted by the sound of something smashing on the ground in the room next door
