Home / Fantasy / Bucket List of the Apocalypse: Devour System / 25. The Biggest Dickhead Mankind Ever Saw
25. The Biggest Dickhead Mankind Ever Saw
Author: Aliast
last update Last Updated: 2024-10-29 19:42:56

The underground cave was a massive labyrinth of jagged rock formations and tangled smaller fungi monsters, brightly lit by the biggest dick mankind ever saw. 

Jed was clad in his Threxian Exosuit, dashing all over the place to escape the target painted behind his back. He had to get away from here, or fight against both Captain Reed and Max at the same time. He knew it’d be a long battle, for the alien spores still raining down the underground cave.

Without warning, a burst of light erupted from a nearby tunnel, followed by the blast of Captain Reed’s shot converted from his synergy force. 

The protective glass-like material of Jed’s Threxian Exosuit flared to life, highlighting the incoming shot from Captain Reed’s gun. He jumped to the air, propelling himself behind a stalagmite for cover. The rock formation sizzled as the energy force struck it, sending shards of stone flying. 

Jed peeked from behind his cover, sp

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    It took more than a mere ten minutes for the shock to leave Jed.He never thought the day he fought against the biggest dickhead in the entire universe would happen before he died in seven months.But, here it was. Witnessing the horror as the biggest man rod he ever saw rained corrosive acids in the underground cave, while the dependable captains of the EADF were stoned.Sure, it was his fault that both Max and Reed could only stare in confusion and drooled on the cave floor, but Jed did that because he didn’t want to die by their hands. “Oh, man, what a mess this operation has become.”Looking back at the vulgar monstrosity, Jed decided he had to kill that freaking creature. Frankly, he didn’t want to be stuck here forever while that angry red head spurted more corrosive acid. For all he knew, it might last for eternity.“Ew…” Jed shuddered again before he rose to his feet and stretched.He had wa

  • Bucket List of the Apocalypse: Devour System   27. Made up Lies and Truce

    The underground cave echoed with the splattered sounds from the vulgar fungi alien monster.Hiding in a small passageway from the corrosive acid, Jed was held point blank by none other than the strongest captain in the entire Earth Allied Defense Force. He could die any second now. The gun’s muzzle was pressed against the side of his head, sizzling with energy force.“We-well, you see…”Max’s patience ran thin. He couldn’t kill this monster because of its ability to speak human language. Unaware that it was a weak rookie soldier under the jagged white exosuit.“Who are you?”Shivering, Jed muttered a made up answer. “I’m no one important.”“How can an alien monster like you speak?”Jed grew nervous, unable to say the truth under pressure. So he made up another lie. “I just can..?”The gun was loaded with energy force, ready to

  • Bucket List of the Apocalypse: Devour System   28. Teaming up Against the Final Boss

    “Motherfucking bastard! What the hell is that?!”That was the first thing Max said upon laying his eyes to the monstrosity that spurted corrosive acid from its angry red head. Its electric blue body pulsated with every load being released. He was the strongest captain of the EADF, he had killed alien monsters since he was in high school.However, this was the first time he witnessed such a horrifying sight that he forgot to close his mouth.Jed turned to him, “How come you only see it now?”“Where did it grow from?”“I don’t know, but you’re the one who fought it first. I only arrive here after you guys.”Max blinked in confusion. “No. We fought a humanoid fungi monster, not that… massive penis.”Jed tried not to lose it again, but his giggle was unstoppable. “I can’t believe you guys fell into such a vulgar creature’s hallucination. This

  • Bucket List of the Apocalypse: Devour System   29. This Operation Sucks

    The hair on the back of Jed’s neck raised, telling him something was off.He jumped forward, getting away from where he kneeled a second ago. From the corner of his eyes, he could see Max’s icy glare and his balled fist on the ground, right where he was before.“Attacking me from the back?” Jed taunted, “Is that how you got the title as the strongest man in the Earth Allied Defense Force? How honourable.”Max didn’t like his sarcasm. “You think I’d let you go?”Figures.“We took that creature down together, I’m not going to attack you.”“Says the monster who infested the Earth for almost a century. Like I’d believe you.”Jed sighed, “Please, I’m not your usual normal alien monster. I’m more than that.”“Indeed. You killed your own species and ate their cores, that’s worse than the worst monster. Yo

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    Jed took a deep breath as he stepped out of the elevator and onto the base’s main floor. The familiar hum of machinery and the cool air-conditioned corridor made him at ease. It was good to be back.“You don’t have to hold my hand, Ricky. I’m not going to tumble here just because I got XFS. It'll be about seven months from now.”“Sorry,” the blond said, traces of his sobbing earlier still present in his face. He quickly let go of Jed’s arm and sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck.Waiting before the door to the common room, Ryan impatiently tapped his foot against the floor. “Chop, chop, Hunter.”As he walked there, he noticed that things seemed unusually quiet. Normally, the base was a hive of activity, with people bustling about and the sound of conversations echoing off the walls. Today, though, it was eerily silent.Just as he was beginning to wonder what was going on, the doors of t

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    53. Unknown Potential

    Ricky groaned as he slowly regained consciousness. The dim lighting of the infirmary comes into blurry focus. His body ached, a dull reminder of the events he vaguely remembered from the previous day.He sat up, wincing, and looked around the room. Several of his younger siblings were there, along with a few base personnel, all of whom seemed to be grinning at him.“Hey, sleeping beauty,” his brother Michael said, smirking, “Decided to join us again?”Ricky rubbed his eyes, confusion etched across his face. “What… what happened?”“You don’t remember?” his sister, Lily, asked, her eyes wide with excitement. “Your teammate said you took down two flying aliens. By yourself.”Rikcy blinked, his heart skipping a beat. “What? No, that can’t be right. I don’t even remember half of yesterday's attack.”“Believe it, bro,” Michael said, crossin

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    52. The Sniper’s Prey

    “…what the hell?”As he was busy trying to figure out the control panels, Jed almost missed the moment the humanoid alien and his Draquilonis were blasted from behind. Precisely, from the ground where the base was located behind the spaceship.Like lightning, the sniper took down the humanoid alien in one shot. Something Jed dreamed he was capable of doing, sadly, he couldn’t.Seeing as the humanoid alien was killed, he thought it was safe to land the spaceship now. The large viewport in front of him showed more city lights below. He had to turn the ship towards the west, where a desolated rocky plain with no building or civilian housing was located. Nothing was there, making it a safe place to land.Jed gritted his teeth as he pulled on the controller bracelets. The spaceship thrusters roared against the planet’s gravity as he tried to redirect the ship.However, he heard a sharp crack echoed through the alien spaces

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    51. Alien Spaceship

    [Active Skill – Molten Pierce]Jed grinned as he activated his skill.Molten Pierce took less than a second to form in his right hand. The jagged material of his Threxian Exosuit morphed into a drill with a fiery orange edge. He punched the alien’s chest with it, enhanced by a penetrating force that sent the alien through the metallic airlock.The slender humanoid alien was thrown out of the spaceship, but Jed was sure it’d still be alive. Moreover, with one Dracuilonis flew past the broken airlock to save its master. At least, this gave them enough time to do something about the nuclear bomb aboard in this ship.“Max–“Jed stopped himself, realising that he called the captain’s name. But, Max ignored him as he was busy trying to speak through his earpiece and connect to the base. “Control room, can you hear me?”He doubted it would work. The last thing Jed heard was that craz

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    50. Dual Blades and Warhammer

    Jed’s dual swords, Noxblades, glinted under the flickering lights of the narrow corridor. His breath came in measured intervals, each one syncing with the hum of the ship’s bio-engines. Standing across, a slender humanoid alien mirrored his stance, its own dual blades that came from its long limbs shimmering with an eerie, otherworldly glow. With a sudden movement, both of them lunged. Blades clashed against blades, sparks flying as they exchanged rapid, fluid strikes. Jed’s muscles burned as he parried and struck, his eyes locked onto the alien’s unblinking human-like gaze. The alien’s movements were almost dance-like, its agility matching Jed’s Hyperreflexia, a passive skill that granted him superhuman reaction times for dodging and countering attacks swiftly. Not stopping, Jed recalled the skills that came with these dual blades. ‘Crosscut!’[Active Skill – Crosscut][CD: 59 minutes 59 seconds][Core: -500]As if his arms were moving on their own, Jed gave a crisscrossing attack

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    49. Stealth and Speed, He Said

    Jed managed to find a small opening to the alien spaceship and cautiously stepped through the airlock.The spaceship was a massive, imposing vessel with an eerie otherworldly design. Its walls were composed of a dark, metallic material that seems to absorb light rather than reflect it. The corridor was lined with sharp, angular edges and adorned with pulsating crimson energy conduits that gave off a dim, menacing glow.The air was thick with mechanical hum, and the occasional flicker of blue and purple energy fields added to the foreboding atmosphere. It seemed that everything here felt almost organic in nature.“Alright, my awesome self, just stick to the plan.” Jed muttered to himself. “Find Max, get out. It’s all about stealth and speed. You got this.”He had less than five minutes to do that. Awesome, he said.Jed moved forward, his Sky Dominator boots didn’t make any echo as he thread inside, thanks to his n

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    48. Sky Dominator

    [Item – Frogsbane Coil was drawn.]Jed swung the dull pink whip, snapping his wrist to make the end curl around the tailless manta ray reptile. It screeched in anger, but Jed didn’t let go. He gave a thug on his Frogsbane Coil, making him and the manta ray reptile to jerk each other.He managed to get on its back despite the flying monster’s useless roar of shockwave and struggles. Once he got a good grip on the manta ray reptile, Jed drew his right arm and shot it quickly to its thin back.The flying monster roared and roared in pain, but Jed didn’t let go. He curled his fingers on the small core located in the middle of its chest and wrenched it out. The manta ray reptile gave a final roar and its struggle ended. It dropped dead from the sky, along with Jed who couldn’t stop grinning.“Well, there’s no better time to eat a snack than now, hmm?”And so he did.[Ultimate Skill – Devour was activated.]“Damn right!” Jed laughed as he was free falling from the sky. “I better get the bes

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    47. Headshot

    “Do you think this is enough to defeat me?”The slender monster said as its cracked face reconstructed in a matter of seconds. Its twig-like hand reached out for Jed, the four fingers spread right in front of Jed’s face. From its narrow palm, a crack formed and opened, showing a small hole.Jed barely had time to react before the slender monster shot him dead in the head.[Active Skill – Fungal Shield][CD: 59 minutes 59 seconds][Core: -100]Bang!Agony exploded through his head, and he fell to the ground and screamed in pain. His vision went dark, and for a moment, he was sure he was dead.[Alert!][Alert!][Alert!][HP: 7/100]Through the haze of pain, Jed desperately tried to call for a skill in his repertoire.[Active Skill – Regenerative Spores][CD: 359 minutes 59 seconds][Core: -400]Miniscule spores were released from the small gaps

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    46. Shadow Cloak

    The air brushed fiercely all around Jed’s body as he tried to make sense of the monster’s strength. He had to do something before it greeted him in the sky and kicked him down to the earth.“Shadow Cloak!”[Item – Shadow Cloak was drawn.][You may activate its invisible feature at will.][However, attack initiation will deactivate its feature immediately.]A dark cloak shrouded around Jed’s body, and he disappeared into thin air.Invisible.“So I was right.” The semi-translucent humanoid monster remarked. Its slender face looked like a piece of chopped wood with a pair of slanted eyes and wide mouth, looking around it in wonder. “You absorb creatures to get their strength too. Just like me. I wonder if you can fly, too.”Jed couldn’t. It’d be cool if he could, though.The semi-translucent monster looked up at the sky, couldn’t

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    45. Curious Monster

    [Ultimate Skill – Devour was activated.]Boooom![You have devoured Velociphron.]Something fell from the sky. A tall humanoid figure with an ominous presence that sent Jed reeling.[You received rewards as follows.]He ignored the blue and white panel that only he could see. It told him the rewards he got from devouring the humanoid monster just now. How could he, when a more menacing creature dropped from the sky, like a bad omen for a curse after he ate another alien core.Jed cautiously observed the new alien.It stood taller than Velociphron, with a semi-translucent, shimmering skin that shifted colours every few seconds. It had elongated limbs and fluid movement, like a walking serpent as colourful as a disco ball.“What are you?” It asked curiously, staring at Jed with unblinking six eyes on its face.When he locked eyes with the colourful slender creature, he felt an eeri