“Wha--” Logan asked as he turned back to Rafe and then had to stifle a laugh.There, in his passenger seat, was the Prince of Darkness himself.“Hey there, mate,” Rafe mumbled incoherently. “Out here for a little drive here in the nation’s capital. I’ve got the mad munchies if ya get mah drift.”The man was grinning ear-to-ear as he passed their coffees through the window. “I’m a huge Sabbath fan, you know,” he said giddily.“Always ah pleasure to meet a fan,” “Ozzy” mumbled happily and then made devil horns with his hands. “Hail Satan!”“Hail Satan!” the guy reiterated and passed their two boxes of donuts through the window. “I slipped a few extra ones in there for you, Wizard of Ozz.”“Thankya, mate.” Logan could tell that Rafe was trying his hardest not to break. “You have a cursed day.”“You too, Mr. Osborne!” The man sounded like he was still in shock as they pulled away.The second they were out of sight, Rafe returned to his goblinish form and began pounding the seat
Logan and his companions journeyed through the dense, foggy forest for a few minutes until they stumbled upon a farmhouse nestled at the foot of a large hill. The house appeared quite spacious with two stories and a wide base, although its age was evident in the peeling red vinyl siding and patches of duct tape reflecting their headlights, evidence of numerous home window repairs. The roof seemed to sag in the center, and even the beamed porch at the front appeared on the verge of collapsing at the slightest touch. A faint light emanated from one of the second-floor windows, but no signs of activity were visible inside. With the time now at four-thirty in the morning, Logan speculated that the light was merely a remnant from the previous night, forgotten to be switched off. Logan turned off the lights and the vehicle's engine, rousing Rafe from his slumber. Together, the group stealthily disembarked from the car. In a hushed tone, Abina questioned their next move, expressing th
For a moment, Logan thought that this whole setup had been some elaborate scheme by Ira to taunt them. The look on the elves’ face when they walked in, however, told a different tale. For the first time, Ira looked surprised.“Your friends are here, Miss Franklin,” the old man exclaimed as he made his way to the tiny circular dining table.“Oh, these aren’t the people I was expecting,” the elves said as her eyes narrowed. “We were waiting for my husband and his secretary.”Logan slid down directly across from Ira and locked eyes with the demon.“Your husband and his secretary aren’t coming,” he hinted not-so-subtly. “They’re a little tied up at the moment.”“Is that so?” Ira hissed.“Yeah, so he sent us instead,” Logan continued the lie. “Of course, being the peons we are, he didn’t really fill us in on the nitty-gritty details before we left.” “That’s a shame,” Ira grumbled. “This is a fairly sensitive meeting about a very sensitive matter. It’s not like my husband to leave h
“Excellent,” Ira said as she shot Logan a victorious glare and then turned back to her “child.” “Hurry up, Ralphie. We don’t want to impose on our hosts any more than we have to.”“I’m finding it hard to eat, momma.” The boy shook his head, plugged his nose, and then pointed to Rafe. “This guy smells like a dead skunk.”“You’re not a basket of roses yerself, kid.” Rafe chuckled. “I think somebody may have just shit themselves. Multiple times.”“Gee, mister, do you kiss your mother with that mouth?” the Franklin boy snarked.“Nope. I use it to kiss yours. She actually gave me a blow ‘n go before I came here. You’d think it’d be hard to do with no teeth...” Rafe leaned in close to the boy and whispered. “... but it actually makes it feel a million times more fun. She called me ‘daddy’ a few times if it makes you feel better.”“Don’t talk about my mom like that, asshole!” the little boy growled.“Now, Ralphie,” Ira tried to put the lid back on her faux child, “you know he’s only tryin
He blocked it with a quick shield of purple and then blasted her in the side with a small ball of red Magicfire. The Dom rolled away in pain, but he didn’t even have a second to breathe before the Sub’s whip was headed toward his neck. He threw up his arm defensively, and the enchanted whip wrapped around it instead of his throat.He let out a scream of agony as the white-hot tail seared its pattern into his skin. Without even thinking, he grabbed the lower part of the tail with his hand and tugged it forward.The Sub’s eyes widened as he jerked her body forward, off-balance. As she stumbled forward, he unleashed another blast of red Magicfire into her stomach at point-blank range.There were no sadistic moans of pleasure this time as the Sub’s body blasted up through the ceiling of the living room and her whip fell to the ground.He didn’t have time to survey the damage to his arm, because Dom Ira was back in action and another blast of acid was headed his way. He threw up a green po
He released the demon's body, and the bloody heap fell to the ground.“Uh, I weakened him for you,” Rafe said with an extended finger.“Oh, of course,” he lied to the goblin. “You did a great job, Rafe.”Rafe jumped up in the air and pumped his fist. “Fuck yeah, the Rafester gets a gold star!” he shouted and then began to rush around the room doing cartwheels like a happy Rafeler.“Alright,” he laughed, “you just beat up a Rafeler goblin. Don’t get too carried away, bro. We still need to--”“Incoming!” Kelda screamed as she tackled him to the ground.He heard the sizzle of acid from above as a flash of turquoise shot past and melted the wall of the farmhouse.“Thank you, sisters,” Ira’s voice called out before falling into a twisted giggle. “You did my work for me.” He turned to see Ira knocking away a barrage of blasts from Rafe, Abinay, and Beth with her morning star as she sauntered toward them. The elves was still in her Dom’s leather corset, but the way she
“Ha!” Rafe scoffed at the demons that were emerging from the woods. “Seventy-Two Servants? We’ve killed, like, twenty of you already. Shouldn’t you take on a new name, like the ‘Fifty-Two Fuckwits?’”. “Uh, Rafe?” Jacob asked as he prepared his red Magic fire for an attack. “I’m counting way more than fifty-two.”“Hundreds, actually,” Beth gasped.“Did you really forget about all the Servants’ minions?” Sister Ira cackled and then shot a playful look at Rafe. “You know, Rafe, you’re much more fun than Alban ever was. He was simply grumpy all the time. Perhaps when I kill Jacob and my former sisters, I’ll take you in as a pet.”“Normally I’d jump at the chance to be a woman’s ‘pet,’” Rafe hissed and summoned Magic fire into his hands. “But I get the feeling it’d be more of a ‘fido’ situation and less of a ‘daddy’ one. Plus, I’m just not into demon chicks. Sorry.”“Too bad.” Ira clicked her tongue. “Maybe I’ll have to settle for making Jacob my plaything before Azar kills him.”“When w
Logan wasn’t sure how, but apparently, he was wiping the smile off that smug asshole’s face.“Bro, you must be a grower, not a shower,” Rafe’s voice sprang up beside him as he reappeared. “Those things must be at least two feet long!”“Huh?” Logan asked as he crushed another demon with a prison of magical purple flames.“Your horns, bro,” Rafe explained. “They’re almost as big as my schlong.”“Somehow, I don’t believe you.” Logan ducked out of the way of an attack and blasted back at the assailant.“You wanna bet?” the goblin argued. “I could whip it out right here and show you, but that’d nearly double my surface area. Can’t have that in the middle of a fight.”“Sure, Rafe,” Logan humored the goblin.A couple more demons fell under their combined fire, and Logan realized that, slowly but surely, the army was thinning out.The problem? They were nowhere close to victory. At this rate, the four of them were going to die from exhaustion before they could wipe out the rest of their force