Chapter 161
Author: IWriter
last update Last Updated: 2023-08-22 00:06:22

"Furcas is already dead," Logan confirmed. "He has no idea where the fuck Ira ran off to."

"You killed Furcas?" Oliver sounded impressed. "No mortal has ever--"

"You should know by now that Logan is much more than a mere mortal, Brother Oliver," Jane clicked her tongue.

Suddenly, from off in the distance, there was a deep, guttural growl that shook the entire forest and caused everyone to stop fighting. Without warning, the head of a towering shadow rose up above the treeline and blocked out the rising sun. The figure had three massive canine heads attached to its mountain-like body, and it felt like there was a miniature earthquake with every step it took. Within seconds, the creature was on them.

Though they all shared the same body, each of the creature’s heads looked like they belonged to a different type of dog. The center appeared more like a Doberman, with pointy ears and an elongated snout. On the right was the head of a pit bull, and on the left was a rottweiler. All three of
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    “Why the fuck isn’t it working?” Logan couldn’t believe what he was seeing. “That’s ancient Vatican magic. It’s supposed to banish any demon back to Hell!”“Sister Ira’s creation isn’t from Hell, Logan,” Beth explained as her eyes lit up with understanding. “The spell cannot work on something that isn’t Demonic in the first place.”“So you’re saying that Jakey’s spell is glitching out because it can’t identify Satanic Scooby-Doo’s genetic makeup?” Rafe asked curiously.“More or less.” The redhead sighed.“Delicious,” Ira cackled from above, and then she darted over toward her pet on her bat-like wings. She glided down onto the nape of the Cerberus clone’s neck and then nestled herself into his fur playfully. The elves cockily shook her shoulders and cleared her throat.“Oh, Doggie!” she cooed. “Let’s have some fun, shall we?” The evil elves whistled, and the massive dog’s ears perked up. Ira gave another silent command to her creation as he pulled himself to his feet.“Well,

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    Of course, there was still the matter of the evil elves and the giant demonic beast. One thing at a time, Logan guessed.“Sisters!” Ira called out happily when she finally noticed their approach. “Welcome! It’s beautiful, isn’t it? We can finally write our own destiny. No more bowing down to a master, no more following the rules of Lucifer or the Divine, and no more sitting at the bottom of the food chain!”Abina corkscrewed her body to avoid a blast of red Magicfire, and for a moment Logan felt like he was gonna be sick. The elves and him continued to twist through the air until they were right above Ira.“We’ve already broken our bonds, sister,” Abina proclaimed firmly. “We are with Logan because we want to be, not because he is our ‘master.’”From above, there was the sound of beating wings. Kelda landed beside them on the back of the beast with Beth still in tow.“I was skeptical at first too, Ira,” Beth added, “but he is a kind and gentle soul who truly cares for us.”“We love hi

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    “Ira,” Logan said as he tried to bring them back to the task at hand, “the Seventy-Two Servants and their minions are all but wiped out. It doesn’t look like we’ve suffered any casualties, but if this continues this little doggie’s gonna run out of bad guys to chew up. How can we stop this thing?”“You already know the way.” The elves sighed in defeat. “Take out the main head, and the body will die. But I don’t know how that’s possible, only a--”“Leave it to me,” Logan interrupted.He walked over to the base of the beast’s neck and closed his eyes. The first Divine blast already missed, and he wasn’t sure if he’d be able to summon up enough energy to do a second. He thought about all the things that were at stake. If he couldn’t do this, the best-case scenario would be a bunch of his allies and followers would die. The worst-case scenario was that Azar would return and wreak havoc on the universe.Neither of those options sounded particularly good.He could feel the power of the

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    Logan really hoped Elmer wasn’t going to have another heart attack when he saw their motley crew.They got to the massive door of the barn, and the door was slowly pushed open. The cock of a shotgun told him that Elmer and Betty were still safe and sound.“Who’s there?” the old man demanded. “I’ve got a weapon, and I ain’t afraid to use it!”Logan held up his hands as the flanneled man appeared from the shadows, gun at the ready. “It’s just me, Elmer,” he said as he tried to calm the man down. “We won.”“How do I know you aren’t another one of those little demons, trying to trick me?” Elmer demanded.“Elmer, it’s me,” Logan explained. “Logan Ralston. My redheaded friend saved you from having a heart attack, remember?”Elmer was visibly sweating and trembling. The poor guy must have been terrified. “Elmer Edison,” Uriel’s calm-but-booming voice called out from behind. “Hello, my friend.”The old man’s eyes widened in disbelief, and he lowered the gun.“Are you-- Are you what I

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    This had to be their most insane idea yet. Logan and his friends had slain demon after countless demon in the last few months. They’d been all across the country, traveling to cool locations, investigating cases of the demonic, taking down Azar and his Seventy-Two Servants, and having a fucking blast doing so. But this? This one was definitely not that.Before them, in a wheelchair, sat an elderly man with leathery, wrinkled skin. He was wearing a button-up red flannel shirt along with dollar-store sweatpants, and atop his head sat nothing but a horseshoe pattern of gray hair and some unhealthy-looking moles. What the man lacked in hair on his head, he made up for with a bushy peppered mustache on his upper lip that he kept twitching sporadically. This man was their goblin.“Hurry up and get me to bingo,” Rafe demanded as he rolled out into the hallway. “These Depends ain’t gonna hold up all day, sonny.”“You look fine, Rafe,” Abina reassured.All four of the elves stood next to Logan

  • Dark Elves Harem    167

    “There’s a silver lining for everything,” Logan admitted as they entered the main recreation area of the nursing home. Brown rectangular card tables were set up all throughout the massive room and surrounded by elderly people in wheelchairs and walkers. At the front of the grand hall, next to the makeshift PA system and large bingo cage, stood a scrawny man in a mustard-yellow plaid suit. Even from a distance, Logan could tell this guy was slimy. His brown hair was formed into a messy comb-over, and there was so much product slicked into his ‘do his head gleamed like a disco ball with each move he made. The mustard-plaid suited man was holding a slender portable microphone in his hand as he paced back and forth in front of the poorly-made “Bingo Night” banner hung up behind him. It was Naberius. Without warning, there was the distinct sound of a slap in front of them. A young blonde employee was now staring at the “elderly man” intensely with a look of murder in her eyes. She stuck ou

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    “Yes, sir.” Naberius pointed from the stage. “You with the raised hand. Do you need help with something?” “Sure do, sonny!” Rafe yelled as if he was deaf. “I think I got another one of them ‘bingos,’ but I don’t want to get in trouble again for being wrong. Could you be a gent and come tell me if I’ve won?” Naberius’ slimy face contorted with concern as he began to walk off the stage. “Of course I can,” he comforted the “old man.” “You all know I’d do anything for my favorite friends here at Green Valleywood, don’t you, folks?” There were a few weak claps and cheers as Naberius made his way to Rafe. Once the demon got there, he placed his hand kindly on “Gerald’s” back and leaned in to read the bingo card. “This is it,” Logan reminded Beth and Ira’s sub. “Once Abina hits the fire alarm, we move.”Logan looked over and saw Abina was in position, right next to the red pull-alarm. The elves nodded in his direction, reached up, and then yanked down on the lever.Flashing re

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    He raised the sword toward Naberius. “So, it’s a swordfight you want?” Logan asked the demon. “Azar and Zepar thought that was the way to beat me, too. You’ll have to ask how well it worked out next time you see them.”Naberius was looking way worse for wear. Logan's punch had completely burned the flesh on Naberius' left cheek, and a mixture of charred muscle and exposed bone replaced his normal complexion. His usually well-kempt hair was now standing up in tufts, and the new hairdo was held in place by the gallons of product on his head.“What, with their broadswords?” Naberius scoffed and held the blade of his rapier in front of his face. “The weapon of a brute. This is a much more … sophisticated weapon.”The demon flipped the tip of his blade downward at a diagonal angle and then swiped it up at Logan's torso. Logan smacked the blow away with the swing of his cutlass and took a swipe at the demon's neck. Naberius jumped backward, but the edge of Logan's blade caug

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    The moderator completely ignored the politician’s words and nodded for Ira to continue. “Thanks, Jim,” she retorted. Ira grabbed the mic off the podium and began to walk around the stage gingerly. “My fellow Arizonians,” she explained. “The reason I bring this up here, in front of you, is because I don’t want my opponent to weasel his way out of these accusations behind a PR team. There’s far too much of that in the political world. No, Bill, I want you to face the music here, in front of our constituents.”“About what?” Hoggins chuckled awkwardly. “So I was a male prostitute? So what? As you said, all of my clients were consenting adults.”Ira shot the man an angry look and tightened her grip on the microphone. “That’s not what I’m talking about, and you know it. You see, being the businessman that he is, Mr. Hoggins just had to have his cake and eat it too. He was much more than a prostitute, my friends. He built an entire sex worker empire up there in Vegas.”“Lies!

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    “Political Dominatrix?” Logan questioned. “Do I even want to know?” “Yeah, bro,” Rafe explained. “It’s totally the standard outfit of politicians. I call it that because the people that wear it like to put it on while they fuck us senseless.”“Is that what being a politician is?” Tris asked, surprised. “No wonder Ira was always so engaged with Marvin Franklin’s campaign.”“It’s a metaphor,” Logan sighed. “Like, the politicians are fucking over the people.”“I’m not using a metaphor,” Rafe argued. “They’re literally fucking us in a bareback, raw-dog, ‘bite the pillow’ sort of way.”“That sounds right up Ira’s alley.” Tris nodded in agreement.“And now, Mr. Hoggins’ opponent,” the moderator interrupted. “Former wife of Marvin Franklin, the man who used to represent the seventh district, Maggie Franklin!”The crowd applauded for Ira but not nearly as much as they had for Hoggins. To make up for the lack of enthuBethsm, Rafe, the elves, and Logan all made sure to hoot and holler as lou

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    Wearing a tuxedo generally went a long way in improving Logan's mood, and tonight was no different. He sat there at the massive round table, decked out in a jet-black tux complete with its own vest and bowtie. This was a black-tie affair, and Logan was never one to come underdressed.Luckily for him, neither were any of his friends.Logan's friend Libidine sat directly next to him at the round table, and it was taking everything in his power to keep from gawking at her perfect and massive breasts. The succubus wore a sparkly silver dress that had a wide, plunging neckline. If it weren't for the dress's halter top, her delicious boobs would have been flopping out all over the place.Of course, Logan wouldn't have complained if they were.Then there was Cupi. Surprisingly, the Sister of Greed had little to no interest in fashion, but she was still dressed to the nines. The fit succubus wore a tight red dress with an off-shoulder neckline that ran all the way down to her knees. It had th

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    The assassin’s body was now bubbling like crazy, and some of the boils were growing to nearly the size of a baseball. His face began to contort into an unrecognizable, abstract horror, and then his torso began to expand. “Oh shit!” Rafe exclaimed. “He’s gonna go Big Trouble in Little China on us. Hit the deck!” Logan and the others dove to the ground, and then there was a loud, sloppy-sounding pop. Logan could feel the chunks of gooey gore crash into his body, and he was nearly mortified. He pulled himself to his feet and observed the scene.The assassin’s body was completely gone, or more accurately, it was scattered all across the inside of the Cult of Ralston’s headquarters. Pieces of furry spider flesh ran down the walls and left a trail of green gore in its wake. The assassin's organs were spread across the ground at various intervals.This place was going to need a real deep cleaning as soon as possible. Logan nearly gagged as he wiped the slimy remains of the creature off

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    As Logan ran towards the assailant, he drew the jagged remains of his goat-headed dagger from his belt, ran his Magicfire-covered hand over the base of the blade, and enchanted it. The jagged, broken steel stretched out into a fiery cutlass, and he readied his weapon for the assault. The spider-creature threw out the pointy end of its leg in his direction. He was probably hoping that Logan would run into the point and skewer himself, but luckily for Logan, he wasn't that stupid. Instead, Logan twisted his glowing blade and parried the deadly appendage away with a flick of his wrist. He ducked down, spun around, and lopped off another one of the creature's back legs. As the spider-demon fell awkwardly onto its knees, Logan saw a. flash of Abina's polearm as the blunt end shot up and struck him in the chin. Green mist sprayed upward, and the demon was now dripping its own sludge-like blood out of its mouth. Logan wasted no time in thrusting his sword in the direction o

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    Logan surveyed the battlefield around him and saw that, despite their best efforts, the army of oversized spiders was quickly overwhelming them. They were already halfway up Raphael’s body, and they had Gula nearly completely covered with their horrid wave. It was like they kept multiplying faster than they could kill them. “Precision strike?” Rafe suggested. Logan nodded to the goblin, and then they both ran toward their friends. He created a series of ascending platforms for the goblin to climb, and he acrobatically hopped up the makeshift stairs with ease. Once he was at the top, he flipped up into the sky above Gula and rained down a hailstorm of tiny balls of Magicfire. The spiders screamed as they were burned off the elves’ torso and arms.Once she had her upper body free, Gula took a swing with her enchanted battle axe. Chunks of spider and greenish blood flew up into the sky, and then the elves was free.“Save Abina,” Logan nodded to the redhead as he dashed toward Kelda

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    Logan started to take a step toward one of the two gentlemen, but then he froze. He couldn't quite put his finger on it, but something was off about these two.When the boys moved, it was almost like they were suspended like marionettes on strings. Then there were their voices, which seemed devoid of all emotions even though they wore large smiles on their faces.Something wasn't right here.“Actually, I think I'm gonna stay over here,” Logan explained. “But you boys are more than welcome to tell me all about the ‘good news’ from a distance.”The boy on the left looked at his friend. “I was afraid he'd say that.” He sighed and then turned back to them. “The good news is that we finally found you, Logan Ralston.”In an instant, the two creepy-looking young men began to glow with a black ectoplasmic substance. They reached out and took each other's hands, and then their bodies began to meld together into one large, ominous blob. Finally, the magical nebula began to take on a

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    “What’s the matter?” Logan asked with a grin. “Are you shy?”The redhead snorted. “Anything but,” she argued. “It’s just… I don’t know… I feel like Sister Abina and Sister Kelda are putting a lot of pressure on me to hook up with you.”“Really?” Logan noted sarcastically. “I didn’t notice.”They passed by a few of the offices of the lower-level cult members, and then they were at the computer room. Logan stepped aside and let the elves enter the room first.“Well… I want to,” Gula continued. “I really, really want to. But--”“You want to ease into things,” Logan finished her sentence. “I get it, Gula. We don’t have to rush into that if you’re not ready.”“What?” the Sister of Gluttony asked with a confused quirk of her lips. “That’s not what I meant at all.”“What did you mean, then?” Logan questioned.Gula looked down at the ground bashfully and then turned her head up to stare him in the eyes. The elves bit her lip, and Logan could see that her nipples were growing erec

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    Shadow sped through the streets of Phoenix, under cover of the dark desert night. The second that Rafe and Tris had returned from their munchie run, Logan snagged the keys to the vehicle and decided to head toward his cult’s hideout. If they really were going to be tracking down a missing Archangel, rallying his cultists was probably the best place to start. “I still don’t get why you didn’t just call Oliver,” Rafe muttered from the middle seat. “It would have saved me from being uncomfortably smashed between two guys for an entire car ride. I think I’ve had to say ‘no homo’ more times today than I have in my entire life.” “Doubtful,” Raphael uttered under his breath. “What’d you say, angel boy?” Rafe demanded. “We may be best buds, but don’t think I won’t give you the ol’ one-two, one-two if you get outta line.” “Of course,” the Archangel said with a coy smile. “I’d never think of insulting you, Rafe.” “Damn straight,” the goblin nodded, “but, as the leader of this group, I’ll le