“You have no idea how good it feels to be home.” Logan sighed as he pulled their black Jeep, Shadow, into the driveway. “Even though we were just in Canada, it feels like we’ve been gone forever.”“The long-ass drive didn’t help, bro,” Rafe added from the passenger seat. “I literally got bored of sleeping. Sleeping, Jakey!”“Well, I had a lot of fun,” Kelda piped up. “I’m always happy to go on road trips with the love of my life and my best friends! I could never be bored when I’m with you guys.”“Aww,” Ira cooed as she slipped out of the vehicle. “I enjoyed your company too, Kelda.”“Maybe it was just the shit I was smoking.” Rafe shrugged. “It’s a new strain Slothy and I developed. We call it ‘The Clockstopper,’ because time nearly slows down when you smoke it.”“Is that FDA approved?” Logan asked as he opened the door and stepped out into the driveway. “Or are you just putting whatever chemicals you can find into your body?”“Bro,” Rafe shook his head disapprovingly, “you of all
“I’m not as rough with the others as I am with you,” Logan explained. “For obvious reasons.”Ira looked completely confused. “What reasons?” she said as she racked her brain.“Sister of Wrath?” Logan hinted.“Oooohhhh,” Ira squeaked. “Well then, that makes me all the more special. Anyway, sister, Rafe and Tris are calling it that because the weed is so good, it makes you unable to walk. Just like a good fuck.”“Nope,” Rafe gagged. “Tris, we’re throwing out this strain and starting from scratch! I’m never gonna be able to get that association out of my head now.”“But, Rafe--” the brunette elves started.“No ‘buts!’” the goblin cut her off. “I’m tryin’ to run a business here, and the Rafester demands that his product isn’t soiled by the thoughts of my bestie’s manhood.”“Well, shit…” Tris mused. “There goes the idea for my next strain.”“You were gonna name a strain of our precious weed after Jakey’s cock?” Rafe said, mouth agape.“Not exactly.” The goblin shrugged. “It was inspire
"He didn't notice," Logan stifled a laugh and winked at Gula.The curvy redhead giggled and then raised up the lids of the platters. When he saw what was underneath, it felt like his mouth was hit with a tidal wave.The first platter contained several pieces of smoked salmon, with perfectly red flesh and several singe marks from the cooking process. Underneath platter number two was a massive bowl of rice pilaf, topped with a few pieces of fresh bay leaves and half a lemon.Gula picked up a lemon, squeezed it delicately over the bed of rice, and then placed it off to the side. The elves sat down in one of the empty seats, picked up her utensils, and licked her lips happily.“Dig in, guys!” she ordered. “I know it’s not much, but I did my best.”“Gula,” Logan drooled, “this looks like the best meal we’ve had in months.”They passed the platters around the table, and each took a piece of salmon as well as a couple large scoops of rice. The salmon that he'd grabbed was one of
Shadow sped through the streets of Phoenix, under cover of the dark desert night. The second that Rafe and Tris had returned from their munchie run, Logan snagged the keys to the vehicle and decided to head toward his cult’s hideout. If they really were going to be tracking down a missing Archangel, rallying his cultists was probably the best place to start. “I still don’t get why you didn’t just call Oliver,” Rafe muttered from the middle seat. “It would have saved me from being uncomfortably smashed between two guys for an entire car ride. I think I’ve had to say ‘no homo’ more times today than I have in my entire life.” “Doubtful,” Raphael uttered under his breath. “What’d you say, angel boy?” Rafe demanded. “We may be best buds, but don’t think I won’t give you the ol’ one-two, one-two if you get outta line.” “Of course,” the Archangel said with a coy smile. “I’d never think of insulting you, Rafe.” “Damn straight,” the goblin nodded, “but, as the leader of this group, I’ll le
“What’s the matter?” Logan asked with a grin. “Are you shy?”The redhead snorted. “Anything but,” she argued. “It’s just… I don’t know… I feel like Sister Abina and Sister Kelda are putting a lot of pressure on me to hook up with you.”“Really?” Logan noted sarcastically. “I didn’t notice.”They passed by a few of the offices of the lower-level cult members, and then they were at the computer room. Logan stepped aside and let the elves enter the room first.“Well… I want to,” Gula continued. “I really, really want to. But--”“You want to ease into things,” Logan finished her sentence. “I get it, Gula. We don’t have to rush into that if you’re not ready.”“What?” the Sister of Gluttony asked with a confused quirk of her lips. “That’s not what I meant at all.”“What did you mean, then?” Logan questioned.Gula looked down at the ground bashfully and then turned her head up to stare him in the eyes. The elves bit her lip, and Logan could see that her nipples were growing erec
Logan started to take a step toward one of the two gentlemen, but then he froze. He couldn't quite put his finger on it, but something was off about these two.When the boys moved, it was almost like they were suspended like marionettes on strings. Then there were their voices, which seemed devoid of all emotions even though they wore large smiles on their faces.Something wasn't right here.“Actually, I think I'm gonna stay over here,” Logan explained. “But you boys are more than welcome to tell me all about the ‘good news’ from a distance.”The boy on the left looked at his friend. “I was afraid he'd say that.” He sighed and then turned back to them. “The good news is that we finally found you, Logan Ralston.”In an instant, the two creepy-looking young men began to glow with a black ectoplasmic substance. They reached out and took each other's hands, and then their bodies began to meld together into one large, ominous blob. Finally, the magical nebula began to take on a
Logan surveyed the battlefield around him and saw that, despite their best efforts, the army of oversized spiders was quickly overwhelming them. They were already halfway up Raphael’s body, and they had Gula nearly completely covered with their horrid wave. It was like they kept multiplying faster than they could kill them. “Precision strike?” Rafe suggested. Logan nodded to the goblin, and then they both ran toward their friends. He created a series of ascending platforms for the goblin to climb, and he acrobatically hopped up the makeshift stairs with ease. Once he was at the top, he flipped up into the sky above Gula and rained down a hailstorm of tiny balls of Magicfire. The spiders screamed as they were burned off the elves’ torso and arms.Once she had her upper body free, Gula took a swing with her enchanted battle axe. Chunks of spider and greenish blood flew up into the sky, and then the elves was free.“Save Abina,” Logan nodded to the redhead as he dashed toward Kelda
As Logan ran towards the assailant, he drew the jagged remains of his goat-headed dagger from his belt, ran his Magicfire-covered hand over the base of the blade, and enchanted it. The jagged, broken steel stretched out into a fiery cutlass, and he readied his weapon for the assault. The spider-creature threw out the pointy end of its leg in his direction. He was probably hoping that Logan would run into the point and skewer himself, but luckily for Logan, he wasn't that stupid. Instead, Logan twisted his glowing blade and parried the deadly appendage away with a flick of his wrist. He ducked down, spun around, and lopped off another one of the creature's back legs. As the spider-demon fell awkwardly onto its knees, Logan saw a. flash of Abina's polearm as the blunt end shot up and struck him in the chin. Green mist sprayed upward, and the demon was now dripping its own sludge-like blood out of its mouth. Logan wasted no time in thrusting his sword in the direction o