He threw up a wall of purple, and the icy projectiles smashed into pieces against his flame. Out of the corner of his eye, Rafe zipped out of the way of the attack, and Ira dissolved the assault on her position with a gout of turquoise acid.“Icicles?” Rafe heckled. “What, are we back on the elementary playground, bro?”“Shut up, you bothersome goblin!” Shax growled. “Let’s see how humorous you find this.”The silver flames in his hands burst with redoubled intensity, and then he began to charge once again. As he ran, he shoved his hand down into the snow and produced a massive axe that looked like it was made completely out of ice.Logan and the elves tried to flank the massive target with another round of spells, but the demon just knocked them away with a swing of his newfound weapon.Rafe waved his hand back and forth in front of his face and then turned invisible. “You can’t see me, bitch!” he cackled.“Yes, he can, Rafe!” Kelda called out from across the way. “Shax is the fin
“You have no idea how good it feels to be home.” Logan sighed as he pulled their black Jeep, Shadow, into the driveway. “Even though we were just in Canada, it feels like we’ve been gone forever.”“The long-ass drive didn’t help, bro,” Rafe added from the passenger seat. “I literally got bored of sleeping. Sleeping, Jakey!”“Well, I had a lot of fun,” Kelda piped up. “I’m always happy to go on road trips with the love of my life and my best friends! I could never be bored when I’m with you guys.”“Aww,” Ira cooed as she slipped out of the vehicle. “I enjoyed your company too, Kelda.”“Maybe it was just the shit I was smoking.” Rafe shrugged. “It’s a new strain Slothy and I developed. We call it ‘The Clockstopper,’ because time nearly slows down when you smoke it.”“Is that FDA approved?” Logan asked as he opened the door and stepped out into the driveway. “Or are you just putting whatever chemicals you can find into your body?”“Bro,” Rafe shook his head disapprovingly, “you of all
“I’m not as rough with the others as I am with you,” Logan explained. “For obvious reasons.”Ira looked completely confused. “What reasons?” she said as she racked her brain.“Sister of Wrath?” Logan hinted.“Oooohhhh,” Ira squeaked. “Well then, that makes me all the more special. Anyway, sister, Rafe and Tris are calling it that because the weed is so good, it makes you unable to walk. Just like a good fuck.”“Nope,” Rafe gagged. “Tris, we’re throwing out this strain and starting from scratch! I’m never gonna be able to get that association out of my head now.”“But, Rafe--” the brunette elves started.“No ‘buts!’” the goblin cut her off. “I’m tryin’ to run a business here, and the Rafester demands that his product isn’t soiled by the thoughts of my bestie’s manhood.”“Well, shit…” Tris mused. “There goes the idea for my next strain.”“You were gonna name a strain of our precious weed after Jakey’s cock?” Rafe said, mouth agape.“Not exactly.” The goblin shrugged. “It was inspire
"He didn't notice," Logan stifled a laugh and winked at Gula.The curvy redhead giggled and then raised up the lids of the platters. When he saw what was underneath, it felt like his mouth was hit with a tidal wave.The first platter contained several pieces of smoked salmon, with perfectly red flesh and several singe marks from the cooking process. Underneath platter number two was a massive bowl of rice pilaf, topped with a few pieces of fresh bay leaves and half a lemon.Gula picked up a lemon, squeezed it delicately over the bed of rice, and then placed it off to the side. The elves sat down in one of the empty seats, picked up her utensils, and licked her lips happily.“Dig in, guys!” she ordered. “I know it’s not much, but I did my best.”“Gula,” Logan drooled, “this looks like the best meal we’ve had in months.”They passed the platters around the table, and each took a piece of salmon as well as a couple large scoops of rice. The salmon that he'd grabbed was one of
Shadow sped through the streets of Phoenix, under cover of the dark desert night. The second that Rafe and Tris had returned from their munchie run, Logan snagged the keys to the vehicle and decided to head toward his cult’s hideout. If they really were going to be tracking down a missing Archangel, rallying his cultists was probably the best place to start. “I still don’t get why you didn’t just call Oliver,” Rafe muttered from the middle seat. “It would have saved me from being uncomfortably smashed between two guys for an entire car ride. I think I’ve had to say ‘no homo’ more times today than I have in my entire life.” “Doubtful,” Raphael uttered under his breath. “What’d you say, angel boy?” Rafe demanded. “We may be best buds, but don’t think I won’t give you the ol’ one-two, one-two if you get outta line.” “Of course,” the Archangel said with a coy smile. “I’d never think of insulting you, Rafe.” “Damn straight,” the goblin nodded, “but, as the leader of this group, I’ll le
“What’s the matter?” Logan asked with a grin. “Are you shy?”The redhead snorted. “Anything but,” she argued. “It’s just… I don’t know… I feel like Sister Abina and Sister Kelda are putting a lot of pressure on me to hook up with you.”“Really?” Logan noted sarcastically. “I didn’t notice.”They passed by a few of the offices of the lower-level cult members, and then they were at the computer room. Logan stepped aside and let the elves enter the room first.“Well… I want to,” Gula continued. “I really, really want to. But--”“You want to ease into things,” Logan finished her sentence. “I get it, Gula. We don’t have to rush into that if you’re not ready.”“What?” the Sister of Gluttony asked with a confused quirk of her lips. “That’s not what I meant at all.”“What did you mean, then?” Logan questioned.Gula looked down at the ground bashfully and then turned her head up to stare him in the eyes. The elves bit her lip, and Logan could see that her nipples were growing erec
Logan started to take a step toward one of the two gentlemen, but then he froze. He couldn't quite put his finger on it, but something was off about these two.When the boys moved, it was almost like they were suspended like marionettes on strings. Then there were their voices, which seemed devoid of all emotions even though they wore large smiles on their faces.Something wasn't right here.“Actually, I think I'm gonna stay over here,” Logan explained. “But you boys are more than welcome to tell me all about the ‘good news’ from a distance.”The boy on the left looked at his friend. “I was afraid he'd say that.” He sighed and then turned back to them. “The good news is that we finally found you, Logan Ralston.”In an instant, the two creepy-looking young men began to glow with a black ectoplasmic substance. They reached out and took each other's hands, and then their bodies began to meld together into one large, ominous blob. Finally, the magical nebula began to take on a
Logan surveyed the battlefield around him and saw that, despite their best efforts, the army of oversized spiders was quickly overwhelming them. They were already halfway up Raphael’s body, and they had Gula nearly completely covered with their horrid wave. It was like they kept multiplying faster than they could kill them. “Precision strike?” Rafe suggested. Logan nodded to the goblin, and then they both ran toward their friends. He created a series of ascending platforms for the goblin to climb, and he acrobatically hopped up the makeshift stairs with ease. Once he was at the top, he flipped up into the sky above Gula and rained down a hailstorm of tiny balls of Magicfire. The spiders screamed as they were burned off the elves’ torso and arms.Once she had her upper body free, Gula took a swing with her enchanted battle axe. Chunks of spider and greenish blood flew up into the sky, and then the elves was free.“Save Abina,” Logan nodded to the redhead as he dashed toward Kelda
The moderator completely ignored the politician’s words and nodded for Ira to continue. “Thanks, Jim,” she retorted. Ira grabbed the mic off the podium and began to walk around the stage gingerly. “My fellow Arizonians,” she explained. “The reason I bring this up here, in front of you, is because I don’t want my opponent to weasel his way out of these accusations behind a PR team. There’s far too much of that in the political world. No, Bill, I want you to face the music here, in front of our constituents.”“About what?” Hoggins chuckled awkwardly. “So I was a male prostitute? So what? As you said, all of my clients were consenting adults.”Ira shot the man an angry look and tightened her grip on the microphone. “That’s not what I’m talking about, and you know it. You see, being the businessman that he is, Mr. Hoggins just had to have his cake and eat it too. He was much more than a prostitute, my friends. He built an entire sex worker empire up there in Vegas.”“Lies!
“Political Dominatrix?” Logan questioned. “Do I even want to know?” “Yeah, bro,” Rafe explained. “It’s totally the standard outfit of politicians. I call it that because the people that wear it like to put it on while they fuck us senseless.”“Is that what being a politician is?” Tris asked, surprised. “No wonder Ira was always so engaged with Marvin Franklin’s campaign.”“It’s a metaphor,” Logan sighed. “Like, the politicians are fucking over the people.”“I’m not using a metaphor,” Rafe argued. “They’re literally fucking us in a bareback, raw-dog, ‘bite the pillow’ sort of way.”“That sounds right up Ira’s alley.” Tris nodded in agreement.“And now, Mr. Hoggins’ opponent,” the moderator interrupted. “Former wife of Marvin Franklin, the man who used to represent the seventh district, Maggie Franklin!”The crowd applauded for Ira but not nearly as much as they had for Hoggins. To make up for the lack of enthuBethsm, Rafe, the elves, and Logan all made sure to hoot and holler as lou
Wearing a tuxedo generally went a long way in improving Logan's mood, and tonight was no different. He sat there at the massive round table, decked out in a jet-black tux complete with its own vest and bowtie. This was a black-tie affair, and Logan was never one to come underdressed.Luckily for him, neither were any of his friends.Logan's friend Libidine sat directly next to him at the round table, and it was taking everything in his power to keep from gawking at her perfect and massive breasts. The succubus wore a sparkly silver dress that had a wide, plunging neckline. If it weren't for the dress's halter top, her delicious boobs would have been flopping out all over the place.Of course, Logan wouldn't have complained if they were.Then there was Cupi. Surprisingly, the Sister of Greed had little to no interest in fashion, but she was still dressed to the nines. The fit succubus wore a tight red dress with an off-shoulder neckline that ran all the way down to her knees. It had th
The assassin’s body was now bubbling like crazy, and some of the boils were growing to nearly the size of a baseball. His face began to contort into an unrecognizable, abstract horror, and then his torso began to expand. “Oh shit!” Rafe exclaimed. “He’s gonna go Big Trouble in Little China on us. Hit the deck!” Logan and the others dove to the ground, and then there was a loud, sloppy-sounding pop. Logan could feel the chunks of gooey gore crash into his body, and he was nearly mortified. He pulled himself to his feet and observed the scene.The assassin’s body was completely gone, or more accurately, it was scattered all across the inside of the Cult of Ralston’s headquarters. Pieces of furry spider flesh ran down the walls and left a trail of green gore in its wake. The assassin's organs were spread across the ground at various intervals.This place was going to need a real deep cleaning as soon as possible. Logan nearly gagged as he wiped the slimy remains of the creature off
As Logan ran towards the assailant, he drew the jagged remains of his goat-headed dagger from his belt, ran his Magicfire-covered hand over the base of the blade, and enchanted it. The jagged, broken steel stretched out into a fiery cutlass, and he readied his weapon for the assault. The spider-creature threw out the pointy end of its leg in his direction. He was probably hoping that Logan would run into the point and skewer himself, but luckily for Logan, he wasn't that stupid. Instead, Logan twisted his glowing blade and parried the deadly appendage away with a flick of his wrist. He ducked down, spun around, and lopped off another one of the creature's back legs. As the spider-demon fell awkwardly onto its knees, Logan saw a. flash of Abina's polearm as the blunt end shot up and struck him in the chin. Green mist sprayed upward, and the demon was now dripping its own sludge-like blood out of its mouth. Logan wasted no time in thrusting his sword in the direction o
Logan surveyed the battlefield around him and saw that, despite their best efforts, the army of oversized spiders was quickly overwhelming them. They were already halfway up Raphael’s body, and they had Gula nearly completely covered with their horrid wave. It was like they kept multiplying faster than they could kill them. “Precision strike?” Rafe suggested. Logan nodded to the goblin, and then they both ran toward their friends. He created a series of ascending platforms for the goblin to climb, and he acrobatically hopped up the makeshift stairs with ease. Once he was at the top, he flipped up into the sky above Gula and rained down a hailstorm of tiny balls of Magicfire. The spiders screamed as they were burned off the elves’ torso and arms.Once she had her upper body free, Gula took a swing with her enchanted battle axe. Chunks of spider and greenish blood flew up into the sky, and then the elves was free.“Save Abina,” Logan nodded to the redhead as he dashed toward Kelda
Logan started to take a step toward one of the two gentlemen, but then he froze. He couldn't quite put his finger on it, but something was off about these two.When the boys moved, it was almost like they were suspended like marionettes on strings. Then there were their voices, which seemed devoid of all emotions even though they wore large smiles on their faces.Something wasn't right here.“Actually, I think I'm gonna stay over here,” Logan explained. “But you boys are more than welcome to tell me all about the ‘good news’ from a distance.”The boy on the left looked at his friend. “I was afraid he'd say that.” He sighed and then turned back to them. “The good news is that we finally found you, Logan Ralston.”In an instant, the two creepy-looking young men began to glow with a black ectoplasmic substance. They reached out and took each other's hands, and then their bodies began to meld together into one large, ominous blob. Finally, the magical nebula began to take on a
“What’s the matter?” Logan asked with a grin. “Are you shy?”The redhead snorted. “Anything but,” she argued. “It’s just… I don’t know… I feel like Sister Abina and Sister Kelda are putting a lot of pressure on me to hook up with you.”“Really?” Logan noted sarcastically. “I didn’t notice.”They passed by a few of the offices of the lower-level cult members, and then they were at the computer room. Logan stepped aside and let the elves enter the room first.“Well… I want to,” Gula continued. “I really, really want to. But--”“You want to ease into things,” Logan finished her sentence. “I get it, Gula. We don’t have to rush into that if you’re not ready.”“What?” the Sister of Gluttony asked with a confused quirk of her lips. “That’s not what I meant at all.”“What did you mean, then?” Logan questioned.Gula looked down at the ground bashfully and then turned her head up to stare him in the eyes. The elves bit her lip, and Logan could see that her nipples were growing erec
Shadow sped through the streets of Phoenix, under cover of the dark desert night. The second that Rafe and Tris had returned from their munchie run, Logan snagged the keys to the vehicle and decided to head toward his cult’s hideout. If they really were going to be tracking down a missing Archangel, rallying his cultists was probably the best place to start. “I still don’t get why you didn’t just call Oliver,” Rafe muttered from the middle seat. “It would have saved me from being uncomfortably smashed between two guys for an entire car ride. I think I’ve had to say ‘no homo’ more times today than I have in my entire life.” “Doubtful,” Raphael uttered under his breath. “What’d you say, angel boy?” Rafe demanded. “We may be best buds, but don’t think I won’t give you the ol’ one-two, one-two if you get outta line.” “Of course,” the Archangel said with a coy smile. “I’d never think of insulting you, Rafe.” “Damn straight,” the goblin nodded, “but, as the leader of this group, I’ll le