Fun Online

5

“No,” I answered unequivocally again, previously I had already been repeatedly offered entry into the Fun Hall of Fame.

In the meantime, there was an alert.

Attention!

The first person in the game *Anonymous* (Title: the first pissant, the first witness...), opened a hidden area for communication with the deity.

The Deity is the Supreme Being of the region.

Meanwhile, a white lump formed into the shape of a man with a bear's head, and he roared:

- Shaved Mishka, I've been watching you and I know that you crave power! You want to take revenge on Coach Mart, but you are wrong! This man is not to blame for what he does. He was bewitched by the god of the Wolf Region during the war. I will give you the choice of power, which will allow you to disenchant your enemy and take revenge on the true culprit of suffering. And you will get a lot! Do you agree to permanently change your class, without the right to future changes?

- Yes, - I was just interested in the result. At that moment, it was decided whether I was giving up the game, which would become a profaned summer time, or there was a reason to stay, apart from free access, for a couple of months.

“Then, in the first place, you lose all of your cultivation acquired earlier…”

My body and the self-awareness of the human body dissolved.

Now I felt my body as some small sphere.

“Second, you have to make a choice…

Three human faceless figures appeared in front of me, but when I tried to peer, explanations flew out above them.

Bear Apostle is a hidden melee class.

Features: ignoring 35% of all incoming damage, the ability to tame and summon bears, the negative attitude of other religions and in other regions.

Death Priest (Zoomancer) is a hidden necromancer class that can summon any dead animals.

Features: two development paths (a lich with an emphasis on melee and a summoner), a negative attitude of other religions in other regions.

Omnivore is a hidden class with access to the skills and quests of any other class.

Features: you can develop anything the user wants.

Well, the only problem was that the apostle had the head of a bear, and the necromancer had some kind of animal skull instead of a head.

“I choose the Omnivore.

“Well, you have made a choice, but it will complicate your life.

- Will I get money for completed tasks?

- No. There is no money in the divine space. Hang in there, all the best, good mood and health. Don't kill Mart, take revenge on the wolves! the Bear God shouted from somewhere below me, and I was already being carried higher and higher.

The developers, *censored*, are clearly aware of the memes. Even I am aware of this expression many years after the statement itself.

Jokers, damn it.

Hours later, I was spat out of the doorway next to the priestess.

I immediately looked at my status, which was previously blocked, as well as the ability to exit.

Shaved Bear (level: 1)

HP (health points): 10/10

MP (mana points): 10/10

SHU (mustache scale): 100%

Class: Omnivore.

Titles: first pissant (luck +10), first witness (charisma x2).

Current Adventures:

----- ----- -----

Inventory: empty.

Clothes: no.

There are active tabs for skills and characteristics.

The Omnivorous class is not able to control the distribution of attribute points until reaching level 20 or later, depending on your choice of development.

It jumped out when I tried to enter the first tab, but the second one opened, and even saw something interesting:

Scumbag (Passive, Normal, Level 1):

The character does not feel cold and does not take damage from it if it does not exceed 20 damage per second.

Scumbag Finished (Passive, Normal, Level 1):

The deadly cold simply puts paralysis on your body temporarily.

Carpenter Gunsmith (Passive, Normal, Production, Level 1):

A skill that has not become a trade or profession. A hobby that allows you to create low quality wooden weapons.

Hmm, in all the time I heard only a couple of times the message:

Skill Acquired!

*Warning, you've gained a skill*

*Attention, skills are not available until the class is received*

This means that I received either both options at once, or posthumously, after meeting with the coach's halberd.

It probably doesn't matter.

While I was examining the interface with the description of the last, fourth skill, it suddenly sounded from behind:

"I've done my part, you'll be quicker." It's good that you resurrect not on my territory.

And then everything, the ceiling of the new temple.

I examined the new temple: in addition to the color of the decoration, the sculpture has also changed.

Instead of a bear, there was not a wolf, which I had hoped to see, but a carved woodpecker.

I don’t remember meeting someone with the nickname “woodpecker” on the forum.

Yes, it doesn't matter.

What is the fourth skill?

Omnivore (passive, normal, class, Z-rank)

A character of the Omnivore class, with the help of his skill, is able to get everything from this world. Tasks, skills and characteristics.

Attention! Your Deity sends you tasks:

*Training*

*Getting Outfit*

*The path to revenge for Stalin*

The deity Quiet Woodpecker recognizes you as a representative of the Bear God.

This God is neutral to yours, but is happy with the first representative of the immortals in his territory.

Your class trait allows the blessing of the Silent Woodpecker.

You will receive the title *Two-believer* if you agree to permanently change your nickname in his honor.

The Bear God approves of such a proposal.

Bear God and Silent Woodpecker form an alliance, now residents of both regions can freely move between them.

... received the title.

... received the title.

Attention! Read the notices! Your confirmation is required!

Attention, system mail contains too many unread items!

I quickly went over what I didn't get while in the divine territory and studying the upgraded status.

But the window of consent to change the nickname remained. And it was not possible to go to read in more detail, as well as to see the status again.

– Should my nickname just contain “woodpecker”? – I asked aloud, to my surprise, I immediately received an answer.

Yes.

- Then let it be a surname, instead of Shaved. Mishka Dyatlov, - I answered.

Accepted.

Silent Woodpecker blessed you.

... received the title.

I squinted at the status, this time it opened.

Dyatlov Bear (level: 1)

HP (health points): 10/10

MP (mana points): 10/10

SHU (mustache scale): 100%

Class: Omnivore.

Titles:

first pissing (luck +10)

first witness (charisma x2)

Supreme diplomat (charisma x2)

two-believer (faith x2)

first tourist (speed x2)

Current Adventures:

Workout Camping for equipment The path to revenge for Stalin

Inventory: empty.

Clothes: no.

I looked through the windows that popped up.

It all came down to the fact that due to the communication of the gods for free, I received two new titles.

Only now I suspect that they can be useless if my starting values ​​​​are equal to zero.

So, okay. We need to find a way to train.

In the starting village of the Bear region, after entering the city street, everything was highlighted with a line to the desired house.

You have to see if it's the same here.

I ran out into the street.

- Hooray! I breathed out, seeing a familiar hallucination with an arrow.

Just looking around, I was surprised.

This region was neighboring, but it was spring or even summer here.

However, something else was striking: firstly, there were woodpeckers everywhere, but this was at least predictable. Secondly, there were people walking around in clothes with feathers, and a few naked ones, sparkling with censorship.

Not understood.

I approached the priest who was sitting near the temple and feeding the woodpeckers with beetles. I asked him:

Thanks for the revival. Dear, is it normal to walk around here without clothes?

He looked me up and down and replied:

“They’re covered in feathers, so they’re not naked. The rule of our region is to accept yourself as you are.

- I see, but what is the name of the local coach?

“Coach Freud is at the end of the street.

“Understood, thank you.

Seems like a game made for psychos...

The local architecture was somewhat reminiscent of a German or Austrian village, but here and there were ancient sculptures, decorated with wreaths of red flowers or feathers.

It's funny, but they were ignored by censors. Although the detail is very high in everything.

Without knowing exactly how much time I spent in the game, I left it and found myself in a booth room, which now had ventilation, very hand-made. Just downspouts and coolers, in and out.

I looked at my smartphone: 6:47.

*censorship*, soon to start gathering.

Should I wake up Nick? I wondered, but I just went to cook.

In the game, training can drag on for a long time, especially since the name of the new coach is a bit unclear.

I climbed into the refrigerator, my mother left decently semi-finished products for cooking.

After some thought, I took the stuffed peppers from the freezer and threw them into the saucepan.

And an hour later, Nika somehow scraped off, grabbed a chocolate bar from the closet and ran to school without saying anything to me, just throwing wild hateful looks.

As I understood from the messages of my mother, the girl changed, most likely because of an unsuccessful first love in the camp.

It seems that we have family problems with the opposite sex.

It would be nice if the sister found herself a boyfriend in five or six years.

I covered the peppers that were meant for my sister and headed to the university. Unlike the first day, today there are four couples on schedule... darkness.

Oh, and my titles provided me with more than a year of free access, all for nothing ... sadness. But it would be foolish to drop out of school because of a hobby.

***

Trainer Freud turned out to be a red-haired Asian with a bit of unshaven hair, but I found out only after classes and four hours of sleep.

- Greetings coach! I said.

– Oh, young man, I see that you are already ready for my training! Do you want to talk about it? - said this NPC, examining me.

“Always ready,” I replied languidly.

Your enthusiasm impressed *coach Freud*.

Sympathy is increased.

“It's simple, young man. You need to bring me a weapon. Do you want to talk about it? - the red-haired man declared and no longer looked at me, sat down in an armchair, buried himself in a book.

Phew…

It is not so difficult to get weapons, there are a lot of trees around, and without snow it is even easier.

Hmm, can I make my own clothes out of something?

In front of me was an absolutely ordinary forest. There were even mushrooms here and there.

Hm, I have nothing to lose. You can even try...

***

The priest looked at me strangely after three visits to the temple on the same day, and a day later he asked:

- Enough! Do you know how much effort it takes to resurrect you when your stupid carcass appears on the altar? If you die more than once a day, I won't revive you at all! I'll leave it as a model for other fools!

– Do they exist?

“So far, you’re the only damned or blessed weirdo. Others will appear, I'll quit, - the priest declared and hobbled sullenly towards the broom standing near the wall of the temple.

Well, I have already tried all the species I have met.

And most importantly, before I died, I received two messages: