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Gloom Chapter 42
-Are you OK?Anthony sighed from the sofa."For the hundredth time, yes," he replied tediously. I don't have a headache, I don't feel dizzy or lightheaded, and I don't want to throw up. You've been asking me the same thing all day. I'm fucking fine. You're starting to look like mom. Her.” He made a horrified face. And believe me, that's scary.—T-it's just that in the morning you didn't even remember how you got to your bed.-AND? Most of the time I don't know how the fuck I get home. She frowned for a second, however, then shook her head. But, anyway, you didn't have to come home from work to make sure I was okay, if you were going out. You could have called me, dummy."I came to make dinner," I reminded him.He made a gesture of denial and disgust. "That I won't eat anything you cook." I'll see what I ask for. You go out with your so-called friend. I pursed my lips. Anthony didn't believe me when I told him he was going out with a friend who wasn't Diana, but he didn't bother to
Gloom Chapter 43
—You have quite a complex, huh? She inquired laughing. Amy, you're not weird. Stop saying that."I've been told that to my face more times than I care to admit, Nat." The words tumbled out of my mouth, overwhelmed by countless memories of my high school years. Diana has been my only friend since I was seven years old, and David, who has been my only friend since high school. I know what I'm saying.Did not answer. I stared at my drink, forcing myself not to make eye contact with the girl next to me. I wasn't sure how long we stayed like this.When she spoke again, it was in a voice full of parsimony.“Amy, I don't think you're weird. I spoke to you that day because I found you a very interesting person. The book thing was just an excuse to get to know you.I cocked my head to link my eyes with his."I'm afraid you'll get tired of me soon," I confessed, and a very strange feeling, a mixture between liberation and mist, suffocated me. I know I'm a boring person.“I don't think you're bo
Gloom Chapter 44
She looked at the street where she lived very carefully, as if trying to record every detail in her mind. Arriving at my house, I waved my hand inside, politely."Do you want to come in?"He shook his head. She moved to the porch steps and sat down. "I'll wait for you here," he said with a smile.-OK. I will not be late.He nodded.I walked in a little hesitantly, trying to quickly formulate what Anthony would say to him, but he wasn't in the living room, even though the TV was on.I went straight to the second floor bathroom to get my toothbrush and other personal toiletries. I kept everything in the same bag that I used to carry my things to work. I assumed my brother was in his room, and I knew he would have to wake him up or interrupt whatever he was doing to announce that he wouldn't be spending the night.I ran down the hall and when I opened my bedroom door, I was in a daze.It took me an eternal moment to react. At first I couldn't recognize the naked bodies entwined on my un
Gloom Chapter 45
"Ready for the reveal?" His question of hers made me laugh. She removed her hands from covering her face. Ta-da!My eyes widened. Without a drop of makeup, Nat could easily pass for a girl of fifteen or sixteen. Despite that, her face looked very pretty, childish, but young and shiny."You look good like that," I said with a smile."Thank you," he murmured, twisting his face, "but with this face I can't enter the clubs."I laughed again, but the laugh faded as my eyes strayed once more to his hands."Don't look at them. Don't look at them. Don't look at them."I hid my face in the cup in my hands and drank some more of the chamomile tea that she had prepared for me, so as not to continue seeing them.Nat was wearing a black T-shirt with a rock band print on it, which was so big on her that it almost looked like a short dress. The garment completely revealed his thin arms, and I couldn't help but notice the small blue butterfly tattoo on his right forearm… Just as I couldn't ignore the
Gloom Chapter 46
Anger threatened to surface, but I fought to keep it at bay."Nat, I told you I wanted to forget about that for today," I murmured.-Please tell me. She pouted childishly, and it didn't seem like she was asking to annoy me, but because she really wanted to know.Now I understood why my curiosity was sometimes irritating to people. Running into a person almost as curious as me was something gratifying... and unbearable at the same time. More for me, it cost me a world to share my feelings and secrets with others.I sighed, giving up."It bothers me that they kept it from me for so long," I replied with my eyes closed. I do not like lies.-I see. She reached over to the coffee table to take the cup of tea between her hands, before leaning back on the sofa and looking at me again. Doesn't it bother you that they did the dirty deed in your own bed?I clenched my teeth."Yeah, Nat, that bothers me, too," I muttered. I'm trying to forget it.-I do not understand. What the hell is wrong with
Gloom Chapter 47
His answer made me look back at the cup in my hands. I caught the nervous smile on my face."And if I'm not worth it?" I mumbled, because suddenly a fear different from the one you have when faced with danger: the fear of failing someone."Prove me yes," he asked in a whisper.My chest had a strange reaction, it was flooded with a pleasant and alien warmth at the same time, the kind that feels like when you connect with a person that you still can't know much about, and that you may never fully know, but who, at end, it doesn't matter. Because you understand that the past and the way of living of that person do not matter, as long as they count on each other."Can I turn on the TV?" -I asked for. I really didn't want to see anything in particular, but the overwhelming feeling threatened to topple the shield I'd worked my whole life to build around myself.However, at that moment I knew that she had already achieved it.Nat set the guitar aside, got up to find the remote and hand it ov
Gloom Chapter 48
I swallowed. I ran the back of my hand across my forehead to wipe away the sweat.“N-it was nothing."Uh-huh…" She took a sip and rested her head on one hand, her eyes narrowing."How long have you been there looking?""I wasn't looking at you." —She pointed her index finger at the television on. I recognized immediately that I was watching an episode of Doctor House .I muttered another apology and sat down. The vestiges of my nightmare had me groggy."Do you have nightmares very often?" She wanted to know, and I thought I detected a trace of concern in her voice.I rubbed my eyelids."Lately, yes," I muttered hopelessly. Almost every day."Geez, you should go see a psychiatrist," he said jokingly, and smiled. You want breakfast? I have coffee, for you to wake up. Ah, it's true, you don't like it. Well, I have, um …, coffee and…I laughed, shaking my head."Coffee will be fine."I turned my cell phone back on after we went out looking for a place to have lunch. The phone was immediat
Gloom Chapter 49
"You could have told me any of those times…" I muttered angrily. Just like you could have done it anywhere but in my fucking bed.Her jaw clenched, as if she'd been hit hard in the stomach, and I turned away, not waiting for the bus.On the way home I tried to calm down before my parents, who had arrived in the morning, saw me devastated. I had a lot of bottled up feelings and therefore wanted to cry out of sheer helplessness, but not in front of them.The next few days felt like psychological torture.Time seemed eternal at work. Jade, who realized that Diana was no longer speaking to me, would come up to me whenever she saw me alone. However, as much as I tried with her, I couldn't get totally comfortable with her, and faking sympathy all the time was more exhausting than I could imagine. After the discussion on Monday, neither Diana nor I wanted to make an effort to start a conversation or to try to fix the situation.And so, even though it hurt, I decided that maybe it was best to