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2024-10-29 19:42:56I was on the rooftop.
The cold breeze ruffled my hair.
I looked down from the tall building.
"I will definitely die if I jump from here, won't I?"
There is no way I am going to survive this fall.
I slowly inched closer to the edge and stood there. My feet were not trembling. I was not feeling anything at all with the fact that I was about to die in a few minutes.
Hmm? Suicide?
No, no, no. Don't term what I am about to do with something as petty and cowardly as suicide.
What I am doing is a favor to this world by erasing a meaningless and worthless existence. I am removing a corrupt existence from this world. So, be thankful, you guys.
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.
"Let's go."
Then I let myself fall freely to the ground.
The resistance offered by the wind felt like a gentle pillow to me. It was a soothing feeling.
I was falling.
I have been falling into this deep abyss for who knows how long.
I have been falling and falling and falling and falling and falling and falling and falling and falling.
With no end in sight.
But now I was finally going to the bottom.
I was finally about to slam my body to the deepest level of the hole, on the concrete floor below.
I was feeling scared and anxious as I was just continuing to fall with no idea how deep the hole was. But, now, I was finally reaching the deepest level. There is a feeling of comfort now. I am already at the bottom and I won't go any deeper than this.
As I looked up, I could see another figure looking at me. She had a smile on her face, like a flower in full bloom. Like an innocent child.
Ah, you too want to come with me, don't you?
My lips curled up into a smile.
I felt happy from the bottom of my heart.
Before long, with the innocent smile spread across her mouth, she plunged at me, stretching her hands. I too extended my hands to reach her.
This is how my life is going to end.
But before my life ends, I want to share a story with you.
The story of how my life was ruined.
It is in no way a tragedy.
This is a story filled with love and nothing more.
This love may be twisted but it is love nonetheless.
Now, everyone, it's time for a story.....
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How My Life Was Ruined 002: New Encounters
"I am Kageyama Kage. I look forward to my time here." I bowed slightly and gave my introduction which earned different reactions from different people. Some people were clapping good-naturedly, some weren't the least bit interested, some girls were squeaking for some reason and some boys were glaring at me, not because of me, but because of the girl's reactions. Ah, the stereotypes. "Kageyama, you will sit on the last seat of the middle row." I slowly made my way towards the seat that the homeroom teacher was pointing to and sat down. There was a boy in front of me and two girls on either side. "Nice to meet ya'. I am Yamamoto Haruto." The boy in front greeted me frivolously. "As I mentioned earlier, I am Kageyama Kage. Nice to meet you." "Nice to meet you, Kageyama-kun. I am Nakamura Yui!" The girl on my right followed suit and greeted me. I was about to greet her in response instinctively but managed to hold it in somehow. I just no
How My Life Was Ruined 003: The Woman Makes Her Move
The next day in class, the girl on my left had been glancing at me time and again. But whenever I turned to look at her she either averted her gaze or went out of the classroom. If she had some work with me, why not tell me directly? Why was she hesitating like that with me? She had no problem with that senior who was a transfer student just like me. So, what reason does she have to have refrained from approaching me? I couldn't wrap my fingers around it. "Um..." Just as I was thinking that a girl came to a stop in front of my seat. "Yes?" I said as I looked at her. She was one of the girls who had approached me yesterday to talk but I had completely forgotten her name. "You shouldn't get close to...her," she said looking at the seat to my left with disdain in her eyes which was completely understandable. "Why?" I asked acting innocent. Although I could sort of guess what the deal with her was, it will be more beneficial for me to listen to so
How My Life Was Ruined 004: Ito Yua - Cold
What the hell was that...? What in the world was that...? My body felt like it was on fire. It was burning. With his every touch, flames like never before were lapping in and around my body. I have never felt this before. I don't know this feeling. It was completely alien to me. What was so different about him? I have done the deed with countless men till now. It was nothing new to me. It should have been nothing new to me. Then...what exactly was what I felt when he touched me, when he kissed me? I wrapped my arms around my body, hugging it. I closed my eyes. I could feel his every touch. And every time, my body shivered. And whenever he touched my neck and ran his fingers down my body the shivering would stop completely. Like my body was fully under his control. That feeling when he rolled his tongue inside my mouth. I resisted at first. But it
How My Life Was Ruined 005: I Hate You
The girl on my left, Ito Yua (I finally knew her name), didn't change her actions. She was still looking at me frequently. And whenever I turned to look at her she either averted her gaze, buried her face in her books, or went out of the classroom altogether. But there was a significant difference in the meaning behind her glances. The look she had in her eyes was different from how it used to be. Somehow she looked curious about me. She seemed like she wanted to say something but whenever she made her mind something pulled her back. It was definitely what I had asked her yesterday. Have you ever thought of killing yourself? I shouldn't have said that. But what's said was said. Nothing I could do about it now. The strange atmosphere around her was noticed by people around me as well. Nakamura Yui, looking at Ito, murmured to herself, "I wonder what happened to her?" Then she shot me a look. I pretended I didn't see that and instead kept look
How My Life Was Ruined 006: The Embodiment of Contradiction
It had been about a week since I had enrolled in this school. I could say now that I am familiar with the school and the environment. It was Sunday, meaning today was an off day. I was currently living inside the school dorm. According to the dorm rules, stepping outside of the dorm or school was strictly prohibited and the student would be punished if found. However, there was an exception. Every Sunday, from 6 am to 6 pm students were allowed to go outside. It was the month of February meaning the winter was at its peak. I wore black trousers with a black high-neck on top. Since it was really cold outside, I put on a black overcoat that reached almost to my knees. The inner layer of the coat was made of wool making it warm. I also wrapped a muffler around my neck and donned gloves. It was around 8 in the morning. Stepping out of the school premises I let out a small breath. White mist flew in the sky and disappeared as I watched it go higher up.
How My Life Was Ruined 007: Definitely not a Damsel in Distress
There were five people in front of me whose appearance was practically screaming that they were 'the' bad guys. Two people had grabbed the girl by her arms. She was struggling but there was no way she could overpower the two boys holding her firmly. The three were surrounding her that prevented me from looking at the girl's facial features. But, well, whatever. "Huh? The hell ya' are?" One of the boys who was nearer to me turned around to look at me with a displeased face. I said nothing as I took a step forward. "Oye. Didn't you hear what he said?" One of the guys who was grabbing the girl's hand released the grip and stood up. With heavy and arrogant steps, he marched towards me. He had a good bit of muscle and looked like he was well experienced in fighting. He also had a small scar on his chin proof that he participated in dangerous fights at least once. He wanted to impose on me but unfortunately for him, he was shorter than me. The scene looked
How My Life Was Ruined 008: Darkness attracts Darkness
"Kageyama, have you decided on a club to join?" Right after homeroom ended, Maki asked me. "No." I have not participated in any club before. Yes, I was the go-home club member. I didn't really like the idea of staying behind after school. Even the sheer idea of it was painful for me. "I see. Then, I will give you a tour of the different clubs here. You can check them and decide which club to join." "Is this compulsory?" "Yes." She replied. "Every student here has to be affiliated to at least one club. It's a school rule." "Is there no way around?" I asked, a little hopeful. "No." But she crushed my hopes in an instant. "Got it," I responded, meekly. As she had told me, I waited for Maki to come after school while thinking if there was any way I could avoid all this club and stuff. "Sorry to keep you waiting." She said as she stood next to me which put a stop to my thoughts. "Can't I still do something?"<
How My Life Was Ruined 009: I am not ready yet
The school building was big as expected of a school with state-of-the-art facilities. Maki and I left the classroom building and through a passageway connecting the four buildings, we walked a bit and stopped in front of the building just opposite the classroom building. All the buildings were connected by the passageway and were similar in design, color, and everything. Maki and I walked side by side as she gave me the introduction of the different clubs and about what they do. We went room by room slowly. What she explained went in through one ear and went outside through the other immediately without it being registered in my brain. We visited clubs like the science club, literature club, art club, sewing, and handicrafts club, calligraphy and god knows what others. After a very long and exhausting one-hour trip, we had finally made it to the top floor of the building. The top floor of this building was similar to the buildi
Latest Chapter
- How My Life Was Ruined
Afterword
If you are reading this afterword instead of reading the story, then, please go and read the story first! However, if you are here after following the gruesome journey and the end of Kageyama Kage, then, I have to thank you from the bottom of my heart to have given this novel a chance. Now, then, about this story. You know, we humans, are contradictory in nature. In the little things we do and speak, there is always a small contradiction there. We might fail to notice them, but it doesn't mean we don't contradict ourselves. Similarly, we humans, also go through our fair share of hardships and pain. It is inevitable. I have had my fair share of them and you all have too. This story, 'How My Life Was Ruined', is a story where the contradiction is exaggerated - no - overexaggerated and at the same time, I (being the overthinker I am) took the various problems people around me faced and converted it into a story. A story where we don't see a redemption arc. A story where all that await
- How My Life Was Ruined
130: The End And The Beginning
Furukawa Maya and Maki were in the Director’s room.The atmosphere was gloomy and heavy.No one said a word but they both knew what was on their minds.“So we failed to save him.” Maki was the one to say that sentence. She clenched her fists and bit her lips. She had failed to save the person her dear sister had been trying to protect. As a sister, she had failed to fulfill her duties and that realization left a bitter taste in her mouth.“No point in beating yourself over that. The moment Kaya died, everything was as good as hopeless.”That had been the last straw.Kaya had been the one to have held Kageyama down to this world. She had cast chains on him and shackled him. But when she died, the chains came off and he plunged to his doom.No, even after that, there was still a chance to save him. If not for the girl, Hayami. The girl that didn’t exist. The girl that never existed in the first place.“Hallucination, was it?” Maki spoke.After Kageyama’s death, the Director told her abo
- How My Life Was Ruined
129: After The End - III
Aina had been hurt by the news of Kageyama Kage's death.The shock was so much that when she first learned of the truth she ended up fainting on the spot.Even after regaining her consciousness, she hadn’t been able to stomach the truth. The fact that the one she had loved was no more in this world had left her unable to think of anything for a long while.She continued to think. Day and night without an ounce of sleep.Why? Why did Kageyama end his life? She knew why he did. She knew of his whole story. Any normal person would have ended his life long ago if they had had to go through such hardships and pain. The fact that Kage had managed to act like a normal person when he had such a heavy history dragging him down was nothing sort of miracle.But, still, there were many questions she wanted to know the answers to.Like, why did they allow Kageyama the opportunity to end his life?Hadn’t the Director assured her that they were trying to prevent that from happening? She had seen tha
- How My Life Was Ruined
128: After The End - II
The news of Kageyama’s death had saddened both Yamamoto and Ito.For Yamamoto, Kageyama had been a good friend. He even considered him his best friend. That was how much he trusted and not to mention admired him.Kageyama had been his savior. Crushed by the guilt that he hadn’t been able to save Yua back then and unable to take any action, he had already given up. The one who gave him the push to take action and make things right was none other than Kageyama. If he hadn’t come into his life, then he wouldn’t have been able to do anything. He would have most definitely remained frozen as always while he watched Yua suffer more and more every day and he kept lamenting. Kageyama was his hero. And so he was for Yua as well.Yamamoto knew that Yua was in love with Kageyama. Although he was hurt, he didn’t hate him. In fact, he thought it was inevitable that she falls in love with him. He had saved her from what seemed like an impossible situation. He had dragged her out of that muddy world
- How My Life Was Ruined
127: After The End - I
The news had made headlines across the country.No matter which channel Nakamura switched to, everywhere, it was the same news, the same grisly spectacle and the same pain of having lost someone important assaulted her.She shouldn’t have been surprised. He had tried to end his life once. It shouldn’t have been surprising that he would try to do the same. What was surprising was how short the interval between his attempted suicide and death was. She had expected the authorities to take some action to prevent that from happening and they did take action and kept him under surveillance but he had somehow managed to escape and end his life.She turned off the TV and sat on the floor facing the veranda.A cold wind blew and sent her hair flying. She looked to her right. There was no one.If he had been alive, he would probably be outside on the veranda.If he had been alive. But the fact was that he wasn’t.Nakamura knew that Kageyama had wanted to end his life. She always had thought tha
- How My Life Was Ruined
126: The End Of The Story
“Finally.”I muttered as I stood on the edge of the rooftop holding hands with Hayami.The cold wind ruffled our hairs.I was battered. Bruise covered my body here and there and there was also a gun wound on my lower leg. Hayami had ripped her skirt to tie it around my leg to prevent blood loss. Although I found it hilarious that she was trying to prevent the blood loss of someone who was going to die soon, I didn’t speak a word and let her do her work.“We can finally die.”Although I had wanted to go in a grand way, this was good in its own way. It gave me the adrenaline rush that made my spirit pump even more.Suicide?No.Don’t term what we are about to do with something as petty and cowardly as suicide.It was the only good thing that I was going to do ever in my life. Everyone should be overjoyed that I was about to remove a corrupt and wretched existence from this world.My life, not only was it meaningless, it was sought with suffering, pain, chaos, betrayal, deceit, and every
- How My Life Was Ruined
125: The Escape
I went back and sat down on my earlier seat.My mom came out of the bathroom after a few minutes.Her face was wet. She probably washed her face so that she could hide the fact that she was crying. But her red eyes gave it away. The pain was still there in her face.I handed her the towel lying on the sofa. She dried her face with that and shortly after the old hag came in.I took out my phone and started scrolling through the feed on social media. Though I was still paying keen attention to the old hag.Hmm.Just then I noticed the two of them make eye contact. It was nothing unusual but it definitely caught my attention.The time was 3 in the morning. I ended up staying awake all night today.“Furukawa-san, why don’t you stay till morning? You probably are hungry with all the speaking and work. I will whip up something quickly and you can take a short nap to give some rest to your body till the morning.”“Hmm.” The old hag seemed to be thinking about her proposal and eventually, she
- How My Life Was Ruined
124: I Have Never Hated you
For the next five minutes after my mom dashed to the bathroom, no one spoke. I feel like these long and short stretches of silence in the middle of conversations were happening a lot to me. Was it a meaningful silence or a meaningless one? Did the silence speak louder than the words or was it just and merely silence? I don’t know.“She sure is taking long. What must she be doing?” The old hag broke the silence with a meaningful question.“Yeah, I wonder what.”Although I knew what she wanted to hear from me, I played the fool. I knew what she was doing in the bathroom. She was without a doubt crying her eyes out hurt by the scathing words of her own son.The old hag gave me a smile as if she had seen that coming.“Putting aside your words that you being born itself was the root of it all, don’t you feel angry?”“Angry? Why?”“If you hadn’t learned what your mom had been doing, things wouldn’t have gone that out of hand. Let’s say if your mom hadn’t been cheating on your dad, if Nakamu
- How My Life Was Ruined
123: The One Grave Mistake
After calming down a bit, I looked down to the dining area from the stairs. The old hag was sitting there waiting for someone. And I knew that someone was me.“Hayami, you go wait for a little longer.”“Hmm. Okay~” Although, she seemed reluctant after I gave her a kiss, she went back to the room. After hearing the click of the door locking, I made my way downstairs and sat in an empty chair facing the old hag.“Why are you here?” I asked.“We heard from Aina's parents that she had run away from home and would like our help to search for her. That’s why I am here.”So I was right that she had run away from home without telling anyone.“But, why are you here? How did you know Aina would be here?” Did she know beforehand that the only place Aina will head to after running from her home under the current circumstances will be my house? I could think of the old hag arriving to that conclusion. She was quick-witted after all.“No. We just followed her path.” She continued. “We checked the C