"I am Kageyama Kage. I look forward to my time here." I bowed slightly and gave my introduction which earned different reactions from different people. Some people were clapping good-naturedly, some weren't the least bit interested, some girls were squeaking for some reason and some boys were glaring at me, not because of me, but because of the girl's reactions. Ah, the stereotypes.
"Kageyama, you will sit on the last seat of the middle row." I slowly made my way towards the seat that the homeroom teacher was pointing to and sat down.
There was a boy in front of me and two girls on either side.
"Nice to meet ya'. I am Yamamoto Haruto." The boy in front greeted me frivolously.
"As I mentioned earlier, I am Kageyama Kage. Nice to meet you."
"Nice to meet you, Kageyama-kun. I am Nakamura Yui!" The girl on my right followed suit and greeted me. I was about to greet her in response instinctively but managed to hold it in somehow. I just nodded slowly acknowledging her greeting.
The one on my left hadn't moved an inch much less greet me. Not that I cared anyway.
"You guys. You can talk with him all you want during recess so let's start the class already!"
Makoto Maki, the homeroom teacher, clapped her hands twice to center everyone's attention to her.
I rested my chin on my hands and stared outside. Maki was teaching something but my mind was somewhere else.
"!"
Here it comes again.
The same nauseating feeling.
Almost as if I am losing consciousness.
The darkness looming all over.
This feeling of lack of sense.
This utter loath for the world around me.
This absolute aversion towards myself more than anyone and anything.
It almost felt like I could puke anytime.
"....geyama-kun."
I feel like someone is calling my name. As if. I thought. Then I heard it again. Over and over again.
"Kageayama-kun. Kageyama-kun! Maki-sensei has been calling you."
"Huh?" I came back to my senses. Nakamura Yui, was it? She was calling me over and over again and pointing in front of the classroom. There I saw Maki standing with her hands on her hips and she was glaring at me.
"Pay attention in the class, Kageyama. I won't let you off the hook just because it's your first day here."
"I am sorry. Please continue." I said. She continued to glare at me for a while before continuing the class.
After the class ended, I saw that many students had turned their attention towards me. They must want to talk to me. Although I thought, it was a pain in the ass I readied myself to face the barrage of questions.
"Kageyama-kun, why did you transfer this late?" A girl asked me. She was leaning towards me with her hands on my desk.
"Because of my parent's work," I replied trying to be as calm as possible.
"You have such long hair. It's so pretty." Another girl said with her hands clasped together.
"Hmm? Why are you hiding one of your eyes with your hair?" A girl asked with her hands on her chin. She was looking curiously at me.
"Eh? I am not particularly hiding it."
I was handling the barrage of questions and was praying intently for it to be over soon.
"Now, now, everyone. Calm down!" It seems like my prayer was heard.
After Nakamura Yui spoke from behind the group of girls, "You shouldn't bother him like this on the very first day. We will have lots of opportunities to talk with him. Isn't that right?" Everyone then looked at me and apologized.
"Sorry, Kageyama. I got carried away."
"I am sorry as well, Kageyama-kun." Before long, everyone went to their respective seats talking or rather gossiping about something.
"As I have introduced myself earlier, I am Nakamura Yui. I am also the class representative. So ask me if you need anything."
"Got it. Thanks for earlier."
"It's nothing." She smiled gently at me and started taking out books for the next period. The stupidly good-natured type? I wondered.
I heaved a sigh after being saved from the questioning.
"Seems like you are popular from the very first day," Right after I sat down on my seat, Yamamoto spoke without turning to look at me.
"Is that supposed to be a compliment or was it sarcasm?"
"It's both," He laughed lightly. "But, well, must be nice being popular. You might get a girlfriend or two soon enough."
Yamamoto Haruto. I had no way of knowing what kind of guy he was. But he was at least frank. I decided to be frank in my response as well, "I don't want to be popular. And getting a girlfriend is out of the question. Not gonna happen."
Yamamoto turned around to look at me for the first time since we had started talking. "I didn't expect that answer." He voiced his surprise.
"Is that so." I chuckled.
"But I think you are fairly popular as well," I said looking at his features. He had a good physique with a nicely toned body. His facial features were handsome. There were without a doubt many girls aiming for him as well.
"You could say that," He said indifferently.
Now it was my turn to act surprised, "So you don't like being the center of attention as well."
"Yes. It's troublesome." His voice carried slight irritation.
"We are the same then," I said.
"Might be." He smiled.
I had noticed that the girl on my left was watching me this whole time. Did she need something from me?
I turned to look at her. Our eyes met and she immediately got up from her seat then headed out of the classroom.
What the...?
"Hmm? What's wrong?" Noticing that I was suddenly silent, Yamamoto turned around again and found me looking at the door from which the girl had just left.
"Let me give you a piece of friendly advice." His tone was serious. "Keep your distance from that woman."
"Why?" I asked.
"You will know soon enough."
I was curious and was about to dig in more when the teacher for the next period arrived and I missed my chance. But even if I had asked him, I doubt he would have told me anyway. The girl didn't return for the second period.
After the classes were over, I made my way to the building just opposite to the school building.
It was a four-story building in a rectangular shape with one face missing. That was the entrance.
It was the school dorm which I will be living in as of today.The first floor was the cafeteria. There were numerous tables scattered around. The place was nice and tidy. There were some people who were having lunch or snacks right now.
The second floor was the boy's dormitory and one floor up was the girl's dormitory. The idea that boys and girls were living in the same dorm didn't abode well with me. But I had no right to complain. But there will definitely be some steamy things happening here and there.
There was an elevator as well. Using the elevator for going just one or two floors up was something I didn't understand. I preferred taking the stairs instead. Taking the stairs, I reached the second floor. My room was on the very corner of the right-wing of the building.
I inserted the key card and opened the door. The room was 12-by-19 feet. That meant I had about 228 square feet of living space to myself. The dorm was equipped with a bed, a cabinet, a study table, an attached bathroom, and kitchen space as well. The only thing I had to bring with me was my personal belongings that weren't much, to begin with.I preferred to shower in the evening. So I took a shower while listening to some music. I brewed some coffee and browsed the internet.
"The fifth volume of the second year will be coming out this October? I can't wait to read." It was my favorite novel series so I made sure to be updated about it every day.
At around 7 pm, I went down for dinner.
The dinner-time was from 6 pm to 7 pm. You could eat at any time between the one-hour window. It would be crowded at the beginning and I wanted to avoid that. Although there were bound to be few people the crowd will be significantly less at this time.
I went to the counter and looked through the items. Here, the dinner items were placed in front of the counter and students were free to pick whatever they want to eat. I put together a simple meal set and sat at an empty seat.
The dishes here were good for a dorm. The vegetables were well cooked and the soup tasted delicious as well. The main attraction was of course the tender and juicy meat.
Feeling satisfied with the dinner, I washed the plates and returned them to the shelf on the right side of the counter.
There was a roof in this dorm and it was open. Normally, the rooftop would be a prohibited zone but here in this dorm, the roof was open all the time. One could go at any time, even during the night.
Deciding to check the roof, I took the stairs. I passed the second floor and was going up towards the third floor when I noticed another student was waking up ahead of me.I recognized him. He was a third-year student who had transferred today together with me. We had had a short talk this morning when coming to school.
Maybe he wanted to go to the roof as well?
Being fellow new students here there were sure to be things only we could talk about. I increased my pace to catch up to him but stopped when I saw him go straight to the girl's dorm and not up the stairs.
"I see. That's what's going on." Since boys and girls of adolescence were living in the same dorm, it wouldn't be strange. But, getting it to witness this on my first day here was unexpected.
Wait.
Just then another thought occurred to me. First day?
He was a new student here, like me. How could he go to the girl's room on his very first day? Did he manage to woo a girl and ask for the deed on the very first day? I don't think that was possible but if it was true then he was one hell of a player. Or maybe he was acquainted before coming here.
I was about to ignore him and climb up the stairs when I saw a door opening. Then came a girl who seductively coiled her hands around the boy's neck and pulled him inside. Then came the sound of the door closing softly.
I went up the stairs and opened the door to the rooftop.
The rooftop was spacious and immediately I was greeted by the night breeze. Even though it was night, I could tell that there were few flower pots around.
I put my hand on the veranda as I gazed upon the night view of Tokyo. It was literally glittering.
Enjoying the gentle breeze my thoughts wandered to what Yamamoto had said earlier in class today.Keep your distance from that woman.
I get it now.
The next day in class, the girl on my left had been glancing at me time and again. But whenever I turned to look at her she either averted her gaze or went out of the classroom. If she had some work with me, why not tell me directly? Why was she hesitating like that with me? She had no problem with that senior who was a transfer student just like me. So, what reason does she have to have refrained from approaching me? I couldn't wrap my fingers around it. "Um..." Just as I was thinking that a girl came to a stop in front of my seat. "Yes?" I said as I looked at her. She was one of the girls who had approached me yesterday to talk but I had completely forgotten her name. "You shouldn't get close to...her," she said looking at the seat to my left with disdain in her eyes which was completely understandable. "Why?" I asked acting innocent. Although I could sort of guess what the deal with her was, it will be more beneficial for me to listen to so
What the hell was that...? What in the world was that...? My body felt like it was on fire. It was burning. With his every touch, flames like never before were lapping in and around my body. I have never felt this before. I don't know this feeling. It was completely alien to me. What was so different about him? I have done the deed with countless men till now. It was nothing new to me. It should have been nothing new to me. Then...what exactly was what I felt when he touched me, when he kissed me? I wrapped my arms around my body, hugging it. I closed my eyes. I could feel his every touch. And every time, my body shivered. And whenever he touched my neck and ran his fingers down my body the shivering would stop completely. Like my body was fully under his control. That feeling when he rolled his tongue inside my mouth. I resisted at first. But it
The girl on my left, Ito Yua (I finally knew her name), didn't change her actions. She was still looking at me frequently. And whenever I turned to look at her she either averted her gaze, buried her face in her books, or went out of the classroom altogether. But there was a significant difference in the meaning behind her glances. The look she had in her eyes was different from how it used to be. Somehow she looked curious about me. She seemed like she wanted to say something but whenever she made her mind something pulled her back. It was definitely what I had asked her yesterday. Have you ever thought of killing yourself? I shouldn't have said that. But what's said was said. Nothing I could do about it now. The strange atmosphere around her was noticed by people around me as well. Nakamura Yui, looking at Ito, murmured to herself, "I wonder what happened to her?" Then she shot me a look. I pretended I didn't see that and instead kept look
It had been about a week since I had enrolled in this school. I could say now that I am familiar with the school and the environment. It was Sunday, meaning today was an off day. I was currently living inside the school dorm. According to the dorm rules, stepping outside of the dorm or school was strictly prohibited and the student would be punished if found. However, there was an exception. Every Sunday, from 6 am to 6 pm students were allowed to go outside. It was the month of February meaning the winter was at its peak. I wore black trousers with a black high-neck on top. Since it was really cold outside, I put on a black overcoat that reached almost to my knees. The inner layer of the coat was made of wool making it warm. I also wrapped a muffler around my neck and donned gloves. It was around 8 in the morning. Stepping out of the school premises I let out a small breath. White mist flew in the sky and disappeared as I watched it go higher up.
There were five people in front of me whose appearance was practically screaming that they were 'the' bad guys. Two people had grabbed the girl by her arms. She was struggling but there was no way she could overpower the two boys holding her firmly. The three were surrounding her that prevented me from looking at the girl's facial features. But, well, whatever. "Huh? The hell ya' are?" One of the boys who was nearer to me turned around to look at me with a displeased face. I said nothing as I took a step forward. "Oye. Didn't you hear what he said?" One of the guys who was grabbing the girl's hand released the grip and stood up. With heavy and arrogant steps, he marched towards me. He had a good bit of muscle and looked like he was well experienced in fighting. He also had a small scar on his chin proof that he participated in dangerous fights at least once. He wanted to impose on me but unfortunately for him, he was shorter than me. The scene looked
"Kageyama, have you decided on a club to join?" Right after homeroom ended, Maki asked me. "No." I have not participated in any club before. Yes, I was the go-home club member. I didn't really like the idea of staying behind after school. Even the sheer idea of it was painful for me. "I see. Then, I will give you a tour of the different clubs here. You can check them and decide which club to join." "Is this compulsory?" "Yes." She replied. "Every student here has to be affiliated to at least one club. It's a school rule." "Is there no way around?" I asked, a little hopeful. "No." But she crushed my hopes in an instant. "Got it," I responded, meekly. As she had told me, I waited for Maki to come after school while thinking if there was any way I could avoid all this club and stuff. "Sorry to keep you waiting." She said as she stood next to me which put a stop to my thoughts. "Can't I still do something?"<
The school building was big as expected of a school with state-of-the-art facilities. Maki and I left the classroom building and through a passageway connecting the four buildings, we walked a bit and stopped in front of the building just opposite the classroom building. All the buildings were connected by the passageway and were similar in design, color, and everything. Maki and I walked side by side as she gave me the introduction of the different clubs and about what they do. We went room by room slowly. What she explained went in through one ear and went outside through the other immediately without it being registered in my brain. We visited clubs like the science club, literature club, art club, sewing, and handicrafts club, calligraphy and god knows what others. After a very long and exhausting one-hour trip, we had finally made it to the top floor of the building. The top floor of this building was similar to the buildi
***Note: Sasaki Maki is the homeroom teacher of Kageyamas' class and the one taking him to tour different clubs.*** I remember what my little sister used to say. That the boy, who she was so fond of, was a sweet and charming person. He always used to smile and was well-liked by people all around him. My little sister was no exception. And I knew deep down that she had already fallen in love with him. She might not have realized it herself though. Thinking about that, I thought how cute it was. I hadn't met him. But she had shown me a photo of him and told me his name. Kageyama Kage. I had wanted to meet him once. I wanted to know for myself what kind of person he was. I wanted to know what kind of person he was to have made my sister fall in love with him. I got my chance to meet him but in the most unexpected and worst circumstance possible. When I met him at that facility, there was not a bit left of the Kageyama Kage that my sister used to talk ab
If you are reading this afterword instead of reading the story, then, please go and read the story first! However, if you are here after following the gruesome journey and the end of Kageyama Kage, then, I have to thank you from the bottom of my heart to have given this novel a chance. Now, then, about this story. You know, we humans, are contradictory in nature. In the little things we do and speak, there is always a small contradiction there. We might fail to notice them, but it doesn't mean we don't contradict ourselves. Similarly, we humans, also go through our fair share of hardships and pain. It is inevitable. I have had my fair share of them and you all have too. This story, 'How My Life Was Ruined', is a story where the contradiction is exaggerated - no - overexaggerated and at the same time, I (being the overthinker I am) took the various problems people around me faced and converted it into a story. A story where we don't see a redemption arc. A story where all that await
Furukawa Maya and Maki were in the Director’s room.The atmosphere was gloomy and heavy.No one said a word but they both knew what was on their minds.“So we failed to save him.” Maki was the one to say that sentence. She clenched her fists and bit her lips. She had failed to save the person her dear sister had been trying to protect. As a sister, she had failed to fulfill her duties and that realization left a bitter taste in her mouth.“No point in beating yourself over that. The moment Kaya died, everything was as good as hopeless.”That had been the last straw.Kaya had been the one to have held Kageyama down to this world. She had cast chains on him and shackled him. But when she died, the chains came off and he plunged to his doom.No, even after that, there was still a chance to save him. If not for the girl, Hayami. The girl that didn’t exist. The girl that never existed in the first place.“Hallucination, was it?” Maki spoke.After Kageyama’s death, the Director told her abo
Aina had been hurt by the news of Kageyama Kage's death.The shock was so much that when she first learned of the truth she ended up fainting on the spot.Even after regaining her consciousness, she hadn’t been able to stomach the truth. The fact that the one she had loved was no more in this world had left her unable to think of anything for a long while.She continued to think. Day and night without an ounce of sleep.Why? Why did Kageyama end his life? She knew why he did. She knew of his whole story. Any normal person would have ended his life long ago if they had had to go through such hardships and pain. The fact that Kage had managed to act like a normal person when he had such a heavy history dragging him down was nothing sort of miracle.But, still, there were many questions she wanted to know the answers to.Like, why did they allow Kageyama the opportunity to end his life?Hadn’t the Director assured her that they were trying to prevent that from happening? She had seen tha
The news of Kageyama’s death had saddened both Yamamoto and Ito.For Yamamoto, Kageyama had been a good friend. He even considered him his best friend. That was how much he trusted and not to mention admired him.Kageyama had been his savior. Crushed by the guilt that he hadn’t been able to save Yua back then and unable to take any action, he had already given up. The one who gave him the push to take action and make things right was none other than Kageyama. If he hadn’t come into his life, then he wouldn’t have been able to do anything. He would have most definitely remained frozen as always while he watched Yua suffer more and more every day and he kept lamenting. Kageyama was his hero. And so he was for Yua as well.Yamamoto knew that Yua was in love with Kageyama. Although he was hurt, he didn’t hate him. In fact, he thought it was inevitable that she falls in love with him. He had saved her from what seemed like an impossible situation. He had dragged her out of that muddy world
The news had made headlines across the country.No matter which channel Nakamura switched to, everywhere, it was the same news, the same grisly spectacle and the same pain of having lost someone important assaulted her.She shouldn’t have been surprised. He had tried to end his life once. It shouldn’t have been surprising that he would try to do the same. What was surprising was how short the interval between his attempted suicide and death was. She had expected the authorities to take some action to prevent that from happening and they did take action and kept him under surveillance but he had somehow managed to escape and end his life.She turned off the TV and sat on the floor facing the veranda.A cold wind blew and sent her hair flying. She looked to her right. There was no one.If he had been alive, he would probably be outside on the veranda.If he had been alive. But the fact was that he wasn’t.Nakamura knew that Kageyama had wanted to end his life. She always had thought tha
“Finally.”I muttered as I stood on the edge of the rooftop holding hands with Hayami.The cold wind ruffled our hairs.I was battered. Bruise covered my body here and there and there was also a gun wound on my lower leg. Hayami had ripped her skirt to tie it around my leg to prevent blood loss. Although I found it hilarious that she was trying to prevent the blood loss of someone who was going to die soon, I didn’t speak a word and let her do her work.“We can finally die.”Although I had wanted to go in a grand way, this was good in its own way. It gave me the adrenaline rush that made my spirit pump even more.Suicide?No.Don’t term what we are about to do with something as petty and cowardly as suicide.It was the only good thing that I was going to do ever in my life. Everyone should be overjoyed that I was about to remove a corrupt and wretched existence from this world.My life, not only was it meaningless, it was sought with suffering, pain, chaos, betrayal, deceit, and every
I went back and sat down on my earlier seat.My mom came out of the bathroom after a few minutes.Her face was wet. She probably washed her face so that she could hide the fact that she was crying. But her red eyes gave it away. The pain was still there in her face.I handed her the towel lying on the sofa. She dried her face with that and shortly after the old hag came in.I took out my phone and started scrolling through the feed on social media. Though I was still paying keen attention to the old hag.Hmm.Just then I noticed the two of them make eye contact. It was nothing unusual but it definitely caught my attention.The time was 3 in the morning. I ended up staying awake all night today.“Furukawa-san, why don’t you stay till morning? You probably are hungry with all the speaking and work. I will whip up something quickly and you can take a short nap to give some rest to your body till the morning.”“Hmm.” The old hag seemed to be thinking about her proposal and eventually, she
For the next five minutes after my mom dashed to the bathroom, no one spoke. I feel like these long and short stretches of silence in the middle of conversations were happening a lot to me. Was it a meaningful silence or a meaningless one? Did the silence speak louder than the words or was it just and merely silence? I don’t know.“She sure is taking long. What must she be doing?” The old hag broke the silence with a meaningful question.“Yeah, I wonder what.”Although I knew what she wanted to hear from me, I played the fool. I knew what she was doing in the bathroom. She was without a doubt crying her eyes out hurt by the scathing words of her own son.The old hag gave me a smile as if she had seen that coming.“Putting aside your words that you being born itself was the root of it all, don’t you feel angry?”“Angry? Why?”“If you hadn’t learned what your mom had been doing, things wouldn’t have gone that out of hand. Let’s say if your mom hadn’t been cheating on your dad, if Nakamu
After calming down a bit, I looked down to the dining area from the stairs. The old hag was sitting there waiting for someone. And I knew that someone was me.“Hayami, you go wait for a little longer.”“Hmm. Okay~” Although, she seemed reluctant after I gave her a kiss, she went back to the room. After hearing the click of the door locking, I made my way downstairs and sat in an empty chair facing the old hag.“Why are you here?” I asked.“We heard from Aina's parents that she had run away from home and would like our help to search for her. That’s why I am here.”So I was right that she had run away from home without telling anyone.“But, why are you here? How did you know Aina would be here?” Did she know beforehand that the only place Aina will head to after running from her home under the current circumstances will be my house? I could think of the old hag arriving to that conclusion. She was quick-witted after all.“No. We just followed her path.” She continued. “We checked the C