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2024-10-29 19:42:56What the hell was that...?
What in the world was that...?
My body felt like it was on fire.
It was burning.
With his every touch, flames like never before were lapping in and around my body.
I have never felt this before.
I don't know this feeling.
It was completely alien to me.
What was so different about him?
I have done the deed with countless men till now.
It was nothing new to me. It should have been nothing new to me.
Then...what exactly was what I felt when he touched me, when he kissed me?
I wrapped my arms around my body, hugging it.
I closed my eyes. I could feel his every touch. And every time, my body shivered. And whenever he touched my neck and ran his fingers down my body the shivering would stop completely. Like my body was fully under his control.
That feeling when he rolled his tongue inside my mouth.
I resisted at first. But it felt like my body wasn't my own. Its will was completely bent and melted by his every movement. My consciousness was fading. My eyes were clouded. All I could see was the blurry figure of him toying with my body as he pleased.
Then, he whispered something into my ear, ever so sweetly, "Have you ever thought of killing yourself?"
My body jolted, shivered with fear.
The haze that clouded my vision started clearing up, my vision no longer blurry.
I could clearly see his face.
Emotionless. Ruthless. Indifferent. Blank.
As if he had already given up on his life.
Like the world had abandoned him and he had abandoned the world.
My thoughts started clearing up.
I don't know what I was feeling then. This, too, was completely alien to me. Before I realized it, my hands pushed him away.
I gathered up my messy clothes and ran out of the room as fast as I could. The pieces of wood broke and flew as I marched ahead.
Then my thoughts wandered to something that I hadn't noticed.
When he kissed me, when he touched me, my body burned, intensely. Like it was on fire.
But...why? Then...why?
Why was the touch of his hands and the taste of his lips, so...cold?
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Latest Chapter
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Afterword
If you are reading this afterword instead of reading the story, then, please go and read the story first! However, if you are here after following the gruesome journey and the end of Kageyama Kage, then, I have to thank you from the bottom of my heart to have given this novel a chance. Now, then, about this story. You know, we humans, are contradictory in nature. In the little things we do and speak, there is always a small contradiction there. We might fail to notice them, but it doesn't mean we don't contradict ourselves. Similarly, we humans, also go through our fair share of hardships and pain. It is inevitable. I have had my fair share of them and you all have too. This story, 'How My Life Was Ruined', is a story where the contradiction is exaggerated - no - overexaggerated and at the same time, I (being the overthinker I am) took the various problems people around me faced and converted it into a story. A story where we don't see a redemption arc. A story where all that await
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130: The End And The Beginning
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129: After The End - III
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128: After The End - II
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127: After The End - I
The news had made headlines across the country.No matter which channel Nakamura switched to, everywhere, it was the same news, the same grisly spectacle and the same pain of having lost someone important assaulted her.She shouldn’t have been surprised. He had tried to end his life once. It shouldn’t have been surprising that he would try to do the same. What was surprising was how short the interval between his attempted suicide and death was. She had expected the authorities to take some action to prevent that from happening and they did take action and kept him under surveillance but he had somehow managed to escape and end his life.She turned off the TV and sat on the floor facing the veranda.A cold wind blew and sent her hair flying. She looked to her right. There was no one.If he had been alive, he would probably be outside on the veranda.If he had been alive. But the fact was that he wasn’t.Nakamura knew that Kageyama had wanted to end his life. She always had thought tha
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126: The End Of The Story
“Finally.”I muttered as I stood on the edge of the rooftop holding hands with Hayami.The cold wind ruffled our hairs.I was battered. Bruise covered my body here and there and there was also a gun wound on my lower leg. Hayami had ripped her skirt to tie it around my leg to prevent blood loss. Although I found it hilarious that she was trying to prevent the blood loss of someone who was going to die soon, I didn’t speak a word and let her do her work.“We can finally die.”Although I had wanted to go in a grand way, this was good in its own way. It gave me the adrenaline rush that made my spirit pump even more.Suicide?No.Don’t term what we are about to do with something as petty and cowardly as suicide.It was the only good thing that I was going to do ever in my life. Everyone should be overjoyed that I was about to remove a corrupt and wretched existence from this world.My life, not only was it meaningless, it was sought with suffering, pain, chaos, betrayal, deceit, and every
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125: The Escape
I went back and sat down on my earlier seat.My mom came out of the bathroom after a few minutes.Her face was wet. She probably washed her face so that she could hide the fact that she was crying. But her red eyes gave it away. The pain was still there in her face.I handed her the towel lying on the sofa. She dried her face with that and shortly after the old hag came in.I took out my phone and started scrolling through the feed on social media. Though I was still paying keen attention to the old hag.Hmm.Just then I noticed the two of them make eye contact. It was nothing unusual but it definitely caught my attention.The time was 3 in the morning. I ended up staying awake all night today.“Furukawa-san, why don’t you stay till morning? You probably are hungry with all the speaking and work. I will whip up something quickly and you can take a short nap to give some rest to your body till the morning.”“Hmm.” The old hag seemed to be thinking about her proposal and eventually, she
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124: I Have Never Hated you
For the next five minutes after my mom dashed to the bathroom, no one spoke. I feel like these long and short stretches of silence in the middle of conversations were happening a lot to me. Was it a meaningful silence or a meaningless one? Did the silence speak louder than the words or was it just and merely silence? I don’t know.“She sure is taking long. What must she be doing?” The old hag broke the silence with a meaningful question.“Yeah, I wonder what.”Although I knew what she wanted to hear from me, I played the fool. I knew what she was doing in the bathroom. She was without a doubt crying her eyes out hurt by the scathing words of her own son.The old hag gave me a smile as if she had seen that coming.“Putting aside your words that you being born itself was the root of it all, don’t you feel angry?”“Angry? Why?”“If you hadn’t learned what your mom had been doing, things wouldn’t have gone that out of hand. Let’s say if your mom hadn’t been cheating on your dad, if Nakamu
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123: The One Grave Mistake
After calming down a bit, I looked down to the dining area from the stairs. The old hag was sitting there waiting for someone. And I knew that someone was me.“Hayami, you go wait for a little longer.”“Hmm. Okay~” Although, she seemed reluctant after I gave her a kiss, she went back to the room. After hearing the click of the door locking, I made my way downstairs and sat in an empty chair facing the old hag.“Why are you here?” I asked.“We heard from Aina's parents that she had run away from home and would like our help to search for her. That’s why I am here.”So I was right that she had run away from home without telling anyone.“But, why are you here? How did you know Aina would be here?” Did she know beforehand that the only place Aina will head to after running from her home under the current circumstances will be my house? I could think of the old hag arriving to that conclusion. She was quick-witted after all.“No. We just followed her path.” She continued. “We checked the C
