How My Life Was Ruined

006: The Embodiment of Contradiction

It had been about a week since I had enrolled in this school. I could say now that I am familiar with the school and the environment.

It was Sunday, meaning today was an off day.

I was currently living inside the school dorm. According to the dorm rules, stepping outside of the dorm or school was strictly prohibited and the student would be punished if found. However, there was an exception. Every Sunday, from 6 am to 6 pm students were allowed to go outside.

It was the month of February meaning the winter was at its peak. I wore black trousers with a black high-neck on top. Since it was really cold outside, I put on a black overcoat that reached almost to my knees. The inner layer of the coat was made of wool making it warm. I also wrapped a muffler around my neck and donned gloves.

It was around 8 in the morning. Stepping out of the school premises I let out a small breath. White mist flew in the sky and disappeared as I watched it go higher up.

I was finally in the outer world.

"It sounds weird terming it as 'outer world'." But it sounded fun as well. I imagined myself as Alus Reigin going out on a mission in the outer world to defeat Fiends.

I started walking while crushing the white snow underneath my feet. After about ten minutes of walk, my body had warmed up a little and I was in front of the station. I boarded the train and got out on Shinjuku station.

The city was as packed as ever. No matter what, no matter when, you will always see people swarming around. It was no different today.

I slowly and carefully walked so as not to bump into anyone. But it was a pointless endeavor as I collided with people now and then.

The shops were bustling with activities. There were many stores lined up selling various things. But most of them were red flowers and chocolates in various shapes and sizes. That's when it dawned on me.

"Valentine's approaching..."

Many people in the world celebrated Valentine's day. But, it was even more prominent here in Japan.

From what I know, it's a day when people confess their love to their loved ones by giving presents such as flowers and chocolates. In many countries, boys are the ones expressing their love to their special one and they receive return gifts on the White day on March 14.

But here in Japan, the trend was that females gave presents on Valentine's day and they expect gifts on White Day.

I have no interest in Valentine's day nor do I have any problem with it. But I just find it a little amusing and somewhat irritating. Not with Valentine's day itself but the few days before and after the main event. What were they called again? Propose day, chocolate day and not to mention there was something like slap day and kick day as well. It almost feels like some kid came up with this idea. But the fact that throws me off the most is that the whole world is going along with this kid's prank.

"Talk about ridiculous."

I made my way further into the heart of the city as I thought that when suddenly my eyes landed on a bouquet of roses. The red color of the flower stood out perfectly because of the white tulle as the background.

Maybe I should gift her something? After that thought crossed my mind, my legs moved automatically inside the shop and I spoke, "Excuse me."

"Thank you very much!" The shopkeeper lady said as I left the shop with a simple bag. It contained the bouquet that had caught my eye and a box of chocolates that she liked. The lady of the shop was about to wrap it in a flashy cloth but I asked her to put it inside a simple bag. I didn't like things that were flashy and attracted attention. I preferred simple and plain things.

I was walking with the bag in my hand when I saw a cafe on my left. A sweet aroma was wafting in the air and my nose didn't fail to pick up on it.

Because of the unresistible aroma,  I turned towards the cafe when I saw a familiar figure heading towards the same cafe.

"Yo." He was the one to greet me first with a friendly smile.

"Hi. I didn't expect that I would run into you here." I said as I raised my hand in response.

"Same here." He said with a shrug.

"You were going in as well, weren't you?" He asked.

"Yes," I answered.

"Let's go in together then. If you don't have any problem that is."He said as he pushed the door open for me.

"No problem." I accepted his offer. I went in first and he came in after me after closing the door behind gently. We made our way to one of the empty tables on the right. Through the transparent glass, we had a clear view of the outside world.

There was a menu in front of us. Yamamoto flipped through the pages thinking about what to order but I didn't even touch it as I already had in mind what I wanted.

Before long the waitress came to take our orders. I ordered a log cabin latte. While I had already placed my order Yamamoto was intently staring at the menu and his shoulders were shaking.

I asked as I noticed that, "Why are you laughing?"

He said nothing but slid the menu towards me. As I read the menu I couldn't help but smile wryly, "What the heck?"

Yamamoto burst out laughing as I said that. Indeed it was amazingly idiotic. Written on the menu was this:

- The Bad Romance Latte

- The Ugly Break-up Mocha

- The Crazy Ex Latte

- Be My Valentine Latte

Apparently, the Valentine virus had already spread and dealt a lot of damage. The waitress had an awkward smile on her face and with a red face, she was trying to compose herself. She was probably the one who came up with these names or at least one of them was her contribution. To get her out of this awkward situation, I urged Yamamoto to order fast. He was still laughing while he was ordering. After she noted the order, she literally ran away. That must have been too much for her.

After having his fill of laughter, he finally calmed down. There were some tears in the corner of his eyes from laughing too hard, however.

"Valentine is not for me, it seems," Yamamoto said, in between his laughs. He hadn't fully calmed down after all.

"I agree. I find the idea completely absurd." I said in agreement.

The drinks arrived shortly. I took a sip and immediately a rich flavor of maple syrup spread in my mouth. I watched the outside world rush from the cafe while enjoying my coffee. It was a strangely comforting feeling.

"So, what are you doing here?" Yamamoto's question interrupted that pleasant sensation that I was experiencing.

I turned towards him and answered, "It is a day off and I was permitted to go outside. I am simply wandering here and there. I don't have any particular destination in mind."

"What about you?" I asked him.

"I just came from my hospital visit." He answered.

"Hospital? Someone you know is sick?" I asked as I sipped my coffee.

"Yeah. My mom." His expression was the same but I had caught on a subtle tone he used when saying that. I decided not to probe further and end this conversation with a simple, "Send my regards to her," to which he responded by nodding his head.

The cafe was full and some people had to return with dejected faces after seeing that there were no seats available. I, as well as Yamamoto, noticed that many people were looking at us and gossiping about something. And the majority of them were females.

"" You sure are popular. ""

The two of us said at the same time and broke out into a smile.

"I know you said it before but you don't have any interest in all these, right?" I remembered him saying something to that effect when we had talked in class.

"Yes." He answered without a moment's delay.

"Even though there are so many flowers with their own distinct charms?" I asked with a sarcastic smile.

"I am content from just watching those beautiful flowers. I won't go out of my way to pluck them." He answered in kind. "What about you? Do you just watch the flowers from afar enjoying their charm or pluck them as well?" He added.

"I am the same. I just refresh my eyes. That's all." Both of us were smiling cynically as we sipped our coffee.

Before long, Yamamoto had finished his drink and placed the cup on the table with a clink. He then looked at me with a serious expression on his face. I had also finished my drink and had already placed the empty cup in front.

"What's the matter?" I asked him.

He thought for a moment before finally opening his mouth, "I was just thinking that how contradictory you are."

"Meaning?" I did my best to not let what I was feeling on my face.

"You say that you have no interest in plucking the flower but you did pluck one, just a few days ago, and a beautiful one to boot." I clearly understood what he was implying.

"You mean what happened with Ito Yua, right?" I asked even though I very well knew the answer.

"Yeah. Not only me. Most people know already given the nature of the infamous Ito Yua." He spoke.

Of course that was the case. "But saying I am contradictory because of just that is going too far. Isn't it?" I replied as calmly as possible.

"There is one more thing pointing to that." He said as he pointed to the plain bag sitting beside me. "You said you had no interest in Valentine but you bought a bouquet and a box of chocolates. How would you explain that?"

"So you saw me?"

"Sorry. I didn't mean to."

"No, that's okay." After all, the fact that he saw me buying the bouquet and chocolate wasn't important here but what he said about me.

"We haven't known each other for much longer and I might be going too far but from what I could tell you are like an embodiment of contradiction."

Something was welling up deep inside me. I was doing my best to compress it, to suppress it. I took a deep breath and calmed myself down.

I looked at him and said, "You are wrong that I plucked the flower called Ito Yua." With his smile he urged me to continue, "It's just I smelled the flower and played with the petals a bit. I never plucked it."

His smile disappeared from his face and said, "You have a nasty personality."

"Maybe so." There was nothing more I could do than smile wryly.

The conversation ended with that and the two of us left the cafe together. We parted ways after that.

I looked at his back until it disappeared from my vision.

The moment he disappeared from my vision, the feelings that I had tried to suppress ran amok.

"Fuck!" I ran as I said that. Not caring about anything else. I knew that there was no deeper meaning behind his words but I couldn't help but feel that he saw through me.

I am a contradictory man? What the hell? There was no need for you to point it out. I know that more than anyone else. I am aware that I am a walking, living contradiction. If that were not the case then I should have been dead long ago...

I was feeling angry.

If I didn't find an outlet soon I will explode. I will go on a rampage.

Although it was cold outside, I was feeling hot. My body was burning.

I didn't know where I was. I didn't know where I was headed towards. I bumped into people, fell to the ground, but that didn't stop me from running.

I ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran and ran!

Before I realized it, the scenery had completely changed. The number of people was thinner and there were alleys at many points.

I spotted a few people dragging a teenage girl to a narrow alleyway just in front of me.

Seeing that my lips curled up into a lunatic smile and I said like a madman, "Found a perfect tool to vent my anger on."