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2024-10-29 19:42:56There were flowers as far as the eye could see.
Flowers of different colors, different shapes, with different leaves, and different petals. They were all beautiful.
I was somewhere in that heavenly garden. There was no end in sight. Everywhere, it was just flowers and flowers. Nothing more, nothing less, and nothing else, except for me.
I was lost. I didn't know where I was.
I was surrounded by such a beautiful sight but I wondered why I was feeling so sad. Somehow those flowers in full bloom filled my chest with pain.
For me just existing in this world felt like a sin.
I shouldn't be here. I don't belong here.
But there was no end in sight.
But I had to go. I had to leave. I needed to search for a way to get out of this cruel paradise.
I took a step forward. Many flowers got crunched and destroyed under my feet. But I didn't care. I was searching desperately for a way out.
I hurried on as I continued trampling on
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How My Life Was Ruined 036: The Worst Start
You are probably well aware of this feeling.Imagine you are completely lethargic. You don't have the energy to say anything, do anything. Heck, you don't even want to breathe. And you don't have the energy to die. The most irritating part? You don't know the reason why you are feeling this way at all!I was walking leisurely on the stairs with the destination being the third floor.While I was thinking that the school should install a lift for days like today, someone called my name."Good morning, Kageyama.""Good morning. Why are you so full of energy this early in the morning, Yamamoto?" Slightly jealous of the sheer amount of vitality he was exuding, I asked in an irritating voice."Huh? That's my question? Why don't you have any vigor? It's just the first day of the new term and the prospects don't seem that good for you.""Whatever.""Ha-ha-ha." For some reason, he started to laugh loudly and it grated on my ears. I coul
How My Life Was Ruined 037: A Shadow From The Past
“I don’t know what I should call you. Lucky or…”I completed in Yamamoto’s stead. “Call me unfortunate.”“Most boys would kill you if they heard your answer.”That was true. They would without a doubt come for my head. It was all because of the seating arrangement. I was surrounded-err-no-cornered by three girls. Namely Ito Yua, Shizuku Aina, and Nakamura Yui. These three were, without a doubt, among the most beautiful and charming girls in the school. Boys would literally kill each other if it meant they could sit next to even one of them. Imagine being cornered by all three of them. Heaven, right? That would be what most boys will believe. But not for me. It was hell. Like, literally. Aina was someone who was always looking for a chance to argue with me and Ito had feelings for me (though it is likely that those feelings were all but gone now. However, there is a possibility that she would remembe
How My Life Was Ruined 038: Foolish and Childish
After resting for two whole periods, I was feeling a bit better.When I returned to the class, Yamamoto asked about how I was feeling. He was joined by Nakamura and Ito. Seems like Yamamoto had told them about what had happened.I assured them that it was nothing serious and they didn’t need to worry.Aina did look at me once but must have concluded that I was fine while I was talking with Yamamoto and the others. So she didn’t ask me outright.One more period was left. I got through without much problem.I was packaging my things to head back home when Aina called out to me, “You are looking fine.”“Yes, I am. No need to worry.” Oh? She actually was worried about me? How nice of her.I got up with the bag slid over my arms. She looked at the bag and then at me. With an expression that said she wasn’t understanding what I was doing, she asked. “Where are you going?”“E
How My Life Was Ruined 039: Unexpected Friend
The four of us drank our tea in silence. As always, the tea Matsushita made was top-notch.“Now, let us talk about what we need to do moving forward.”Thus began, the student council meeting.“As you know, we have about three months left.”Matsushita had told me before that the third-year students who are on the student council have until their first term exam to be part of the council. After the exams, they will have to hand over their position to someone else. Since the exam will end at late July, we have about three months remaining.“After that, we will have to hand over our positions. That means after three months, there will be a new student council president and vice-president.”“Yes.” Tanaka replied. By the way, Tanaka was the vice-president.“As such, I want to elect the future candidates immediately and get them used to the inner workings of the council.”All
How My Life Was Ruined 040: Melancholic, thus, beautiful
By the time I had finished shower and having dinner, it was already seven in the evening. The days have started getting longer and although it was getting dark there was enough light to see things in our close surroundings. Resting my hand on the railings of the veranda and looking at the nightlife and night vision of Tokyo after dinner had become something of a routine for me. This was, for me, the best part of every day life. As I was drowning in the tranquility of this darkness, the phone in my pocket suddenly vibrated. I was already annoyed at the fact that the message that was just sent to me had disturbed my peaceful moment, but when I looked at who the sender was I was even more irritated. Without even checking the content of the message, I put my phone back in my pocket. It continued vibrating for about eight more times. Usually, she would give up after I didn’t respond fpr five minutes but today, she was acting weirdly stubborn.
How My Life Was Ruined 041: The New Member
Two weeks later.The four members of the student council were again assembled for a meeting.Tanaka was looking nervous and although not as much as him, Matsushita also had a curious look on her face. I was the same. I didn’t care who it was but I had the bare minimum curiosity to know the identity of the new members.Aina, who was sitting on her chair, looked at the three of us.“I conducted the interview a few days back. There were many candidates that caught my eye and were more competent than others but they still didn’t manage to impress me enough to let them be a part of the council.”“Even the ones I mentioned?” Tanaka couldn’t help but ask.“Yeah.”“No way…” Tanaka couldn’t believe it.If the ones he listed were one of the best from the junior classes and even they weren’t enough for Aina to consider them, what does that mean? Were they
How My Life Was Ruined 042: Yearning
Kageyama slowly closed the door.The room inside was messed-up.The atmosphere was also completely messed-up.The storm named Kageyama Kage had completely demolished and destroyed the environment of this room.“H-Hey, can you get up?”In all that silence, Tanaka was the first to speak.He got up and extended his hand to Miyamoto who was still on the ground.Miyamoto, who was cradling his head, looked up.“Ah, thank you very much.”He, with the help of Tanaka, slowly got up.He led him to the sofa and by that time Matsushita had already started prepping for the tea. It didn’t take long for the usual delicious aroma to fill the room. She, as usual, made four cups of tea and served the four students present.“That guy, I really hate him!” Tanaka balled his fists and slammed the table hard. That startled Aina, and she barely saved the contents of her cup from spilling.<
How My Life Was Ruined 043: A Promise That Will Never Be Fulfilled
“Is that really true?”“Yes. It’s true. I was kicked out of the student council.”“That’s quite…bad, isn’t it?” Nakamura struggled over what to say and finally went with terming that issue as something bad.“No, I wouldn’t necessarily say that.”“Why is that?”“I mean, now I don’t have to do any work after school.”“That way of thinking is not good, Kageyama-kun!” She pouted.“It almost feels as if you had planned this from the start.” From beside me, Yamamoto gave his thoughts on the matter.“Maybe. Who knows.” I gave a vague smile. “Though it doesn’t change the fact that I benefitted from being kicked out at this point in time.”Last year, the reason why I joined the student council was so that I could avoid being a part of any club. Back then, Maki had been
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- How My Life Was Ruined
Afterword
If you are reading this afterword instead of reading the story, then, please go and read the story first! However, if you are here after following the gruesome journey and the end of Kageyama Kage, then, I have to thank you from the bottom of my heart to have given this novel a chance. Now, then, about this story. You know, we humans, are contradictory in nature. In the little things we do and speak, there is always a small contradiction there. We might fail to notice them, but it doesn't mean we don't contradict ourselves. Similarly, we humans, also go through our fair share of hardships and pain. It is inevitable. I have had my fair share of them and you all have too. This story, 'How My Life Was Ruined', is a story where the contradiction is exaggerated - no - overexaggerated and at the same time, I (being the overthinker I am) took the various problems people around me faced and converted it into a story. A story where we don't see a redemption arc. A story where all that await
- How My Life Was Ruined
130: The End And The Beginning
Furukawa Maya and Maki were in the Director’s room.The atmosphere was gloomy and heavy.No one said a word but they both knew what was on their minds.“So we failed to save him.” Maki was the one to say that sentence. She clenched her fists and bit her lips. She had failed to save the person her dear sister had been trying to protect. As a sister, she had failed to fulfill her duties and that realization left a bitter taste in her mouth.“No point in beating yourself over that. The moment Kaya died, everything was as good as hopeless.”That had been the last straw.Kaya had been the one to have held Kageyama down to this world. She had cast chains on him and shackled him. But when she died, the chains came off and he plunged to his doom.No, even after that, there was still a chance to save him. If not for the girl, Hayami. The girl that didn’t exist. The girl that never existed in the first place.“Hallucination, was it?” Maki spoke.After Kageyama’s death, the Director told her abo
- How My Life Was Ruined
129: After The End - III
Aina had been hurt by the news of Kageyama Kage's death.The shock was so much that when she first learned of the truth she ended up fainting on the spot.Even after regaining her consciousness, she hadn’t been able to stomach the truth. The fact that the one she had loved was no more in this world had left her unable to think of anything for a long while.She continued to think. Day and night without an ounce of sleep.Why? Why did Kageyama end his life? She knew why he did. She knew of his whole story. Any normal person would have ended his life long ago if they had had to go through such hardships and pain. The fact that Kage had managed to act like a normal person when he had such a heavy history dragging him down was nothing sort of miracle.But, still, there were many questions she wanted to know the answers to.Like, why did they allow Kageyama the opportunity to end his life?Hadn’t the Director assured her that they were trying to prevent that from happening? She had seen tha
- How My Life Was Ruined
128: After The End - II
The news of Kageyama’s death had saddened both Yamamoto and Ito.For Yamamoto, Kageyama had been a good friend. He even considered him his best friend. That was how much he trusted and not to mention admired him.Kageyama had been his savior. Crushed by the guilt that he hadn’t been able to save Yua back then and unable to take any action, he had already given up. The one who gave him the push to take action and make things right was none other than Kageyama. If he hadn’t come into his life, then he wouldn’t have been able to do anything. He would have most definitely remained frozen as always while he watched Yua suffer more and more every day and he kept lamenting. Kageyama was his hero. And so he was for Yua as well.Yamamoto knew that Yua was in love with Kageyama. Although he was hurt, he didn’t hate him. In fact, he thought it was inevitable that she falls in love with him. He had saved her from what seemed like an impossible situation. He had dragged her out of that muddy world
- How My Life Was Ruined
127: After The End - I
The news had made headlines across the country.No matter which channel Nakamura switched to, everywhere, it was the same news, the same grisly spectacle and the same pain of having lost someone important assaulted her.She shouldn’t have been surprised. He had tried to end his life once. It shouldn’t have been surprising that he would try to do the same. What was surprising was how short the interval between his attempted suicide and death was. She had expected the authorities to take some action to prevent that from happening and they did take action and kept him under surveillance but he had somehow managed to escape and end his life.She turned off the TV and sat on the floor facing the veranda.A cold wind blew and sent her hair flying. She looked to her right. There was no one.If he had been alive, he would probably be outside on the veranda.If he had been alive. But the fact was that he wasn’t.Nakamura knew that Kageyama had wanted to end his life. She always had thought tha
- How My Life Was Ruined
126: The End Of The Story
“Finally.”I muttered as I stood on the edge of the rooftop holding hands with Hayami.The cold wind ruffled our hairs.I was battered. Bruise covered my body here and there and there was also a gun wound on my lower leg. Hayami had ripped her skirt to tie it around my leg to prevent blood loss. Although I found it hilarious that she was trying to prevent the blood loss of someone who was going to die soon, I didn’t speak a word and let her do her work.“We can finally die.”Although I had wanted to go in a grand way, this was good in its own way. It gave me the adrenaline rush that made my spirit pump even more.Suicide?No.Don’t term what we are about to do with something as petty and cowardly as suicide.It was the only good thing that I was going to do ever in my life. Everyone should be overjoyed that I was about to remove a corrupt and wretched existence from this world.My life, not only was it meaningless, it was sought with suffering, pain, chaos, betrayal, deceit, and every
- How My Life Was Ruined
125: The Escape
I went back and sat down on my earlier seat.My mom came out of the bathroom after a few minutes.Her face was wet. She probably washed her face so that she could hide the fact that she was crying. But her red eyes gave it away. The pain was still there in her face.I handed her the towel lying on the sofa. She dried her face with that and shortly after the old hag came in.I took out my phone and started scrolling through the feed on social media. Though I was still paying keen attention to the old hag.Hmm.Just then I noticed the two of them make eye contact. It was nothing unusual but it definitely caught my attention.The time was 3 in the morning. I ended up staying awake all night today.“Furukawa-san, why don’t you stay till morning? You probably are hungry with all the speaking and work. I will whip up something quickly and you can take a short nap to give some rest to your body till the morning.”“Hmm.” The old hag seemed to be thinking about her proposal and eventually, she
- How My Life Was Ruined
124: I Have Never Hated you
For the next five minutes after my mom dashed to the bathroom, no one spoke. I feel like these long and short stretches of silence in the middle of conversations were happening a lot to me. Was it a meaningful silence or a meaningless one? Did the silence speak louder than the words or was it just and merely silence? I don’t know.“She sure is taking long. What must she be doing?” The old hag broke the silence with a meaningful question.“Yeah, I wonder what.”Although I knew what she wanted to hear from me, I played the fool. I knew what she was doing in the bathroom. She was without a doubt crying her eyes out hurt by the scathing words of her own son.The old hag gave me a smile as if she had seen that coming.“Putting aside your words that you being born itself was the root of it all, don’t you feel angry?”“Angry? Why?”“If you hadn’t learned what your mom had been doing, things wouldn’t have gone that out of hand. Let’s say if your mom hadn’t been cheating on your dad, if Nakamu
- How My Life Was Ruined
123: The One Grave Mistake
After calming down a bit, I looked down to the dining area from the stairs. The old hag was sitting there waiting for someone. And I knew that someone was me.“Hayami, you go wait for a little longer.”“Hmm. Okay~” Although, she seemed reluctant after I gave her a kiss, she went back to the room. After hearing the click of the door locking, I made my way downstairs and sat in an empty chair facing the old hag.“Why are you here?” I asked.“We heard from Aina's parents that she had run away from home and would like our help to search for her. That’s why I am here.”So I was right that she had run away from home without telling anyone.“But, why are you here? How did you know Aina would be here?” Did she know beforehand that the only place Aina will head to after running from her home under the current circumstances will be my house? I could think of the old hag arriving to that conclusion. She was quick-witted after all.“No. We just followed her path.” She continued. “We checked the C
