When I first saw Hayami, I was stunned into a profound silence.That was just how beautiful she was. For me at least.Her long and lustrous raven hair that shone brightly reflecting the serene light of the cloudless night moon and her pair of red eyes that captivated the soul of any who witnessed her - she looked like a witch set out to steal my heart - which she did of course.She was beautiful but not without scars.Like the moon with dark spots, her face and the region around her neck had bruises. Without taking my eyes off of her, my feet carried me closer and closer to where she was standing solemnly as if pulled by a magnetic force.As I gazed upon her from up close, an intense emotion swirled in my heart."Ah, I want to break her." That was what escaped my mouth and how I truly felt.Like how a certain flower makes you feel to want to nip it.Like how a certain painting makes you want to mess it up.Like how a certain shape of icicles makes you want to shatter it to pieces.Se
When I opened my eyes, what first entered my sight was a white ceiling.I wonder how many times it has already been.That white ceiling and this white room - it was as if there was a connection between us.No, I am not talking about my connection with the hospital. I will get to it later.What I am referring to now is the color white.Opposites attract - maybe that is the reason why I always find myself surrounded by white. Because I represent the polar opposite of white - black.My whole existence can be summed up and represented by a patch of one color - that is black. Since I am black, maybe that is why I always found myself in places with white color as if attracted by some invisible force. Every time I see white around me, it emboldens the feeling in me that I don't belong to this space and that I am a blotch to the world. It doesn't make me sad. Actually, it makes me feel happy that I had been right from the beginning.Coming to the topic of hospitals - it seems my relationship
For the next two days, I spent time together with Hayami talking about our deranged past. Even though it was pathetic and laughable the past we shared together was something that belonged to us - that was a part of us. So no matter how piteous it was, recounting those moments made us feel nostalgic and happy. We continued to talk at length as if to fill in the gap that had formed between us for a year. We were trying to live the time we had lived apart from each other in just a few short days. We would continue to talk to each other until the side effects of the heavy medications kicked in and took me to sleep. Hayami stayed by my side and continued to nurse me. We both realized how ironic it was. I mean, she was nursing the person who was set to die in the not-so-far-off future. But, even then, she nursed me. It was something she hadn't done before and she had said she had always wanted to take care of a sick person. So, I let her nurse me. Though it wasn't as if I didn't feel good
"Huh?"Her face was saying that what I had said had completely gone over her head."That day, in Kyoto, I had seen that you were searching for something. I didn't know what it was back then but now I do. You were searching for Hayami."It all made sense now.The one who had said that she will find Hayami and bring her to me was Kaya. But she hadn't been able to find her and now, she had...died. Admitting that fact still made my stomach churn. She really is gone, isn't she?I signed despite myself.So, yeah, Kaya hadn't been able to find Hayami.So, why was Hayami here in front of me? Why had Hayami appeared before me on the roof that day? Connect the dots with the fact that Hamasaki had been searching for something - it all clicks into place. That day, and maybe even before that day, she had been searching for Hayami. And she had been successful as well which is easily proven by Hayami's presence before me. It wasn't that hard for her, I guess? After all, Hamasaki belonged to a wealth
For the next two days, I stayed in the hospital where I was injected and made to swallow medicines that looked shady and somewhat scary. They looked like the pills that turned a human into monsters as depicted in movies. And seems like they were quite potent medications as the doctor and the nurse asked me how I was feeling every time I took them.I took medications, got nursed by Hayami, and also took walks with her to the park behind the hospital occasionally. The people around us always gave us weird looks as if what they were seeing didn't make any sense to them. Maybe they were bewildered by how happy we looked or maybe they were thinking how the hell did I manage to get such a beautiful girl. I basked in their amazement and spent my time with Hayami.After two days, all the preparations for my discharge had been already made. My belongings were all packed and I had changed from the blue hospital dress to a casual white t-shirt and blue jeans.As we were preparing to head out, so
By the time Hayami finished the tour to our house and we each took baths (separately of course), the sun had already set casting a dark veil of the night on the sky.It was 8 pm in the night. So, we decided it was time for dinner.Hayami waited at the dining table while I went to the kitchen to warm the food that Mochizuki-san had prepared for us.While the food was being heated, I brought out plates and placed them on the table and after ten short minutes, I served the food on the table.“Wow, this looks delicious,” Hayami muttered as she eyed all the dishes served on the plate. Even I felt that Mochizuki-san had made a bit too many dishes.Our dinner consisted of hakumai – steamed white rice mixed with mugi (barley) – with tsukudanai as toppings. We had miso soup for soup that included kombu, tofu, and shitake mushrooms which made for a rich flavor. For pickles, we had the vegetable and fruit medley of sanbaizu tsukemono and sunomono (vinegar-marinated vegetable).“Ugh, my stomach f
"Let's go!"Full of teen spirit and energy, Hayami pointed up towards the bright and sunny sky with no clouds."Yeah!"I screamed trying to match her energy."Hee-hee. This is kind of fun." She giggled and flashed her teeth at me. It was such a contagious smile, I couldn't help but smile as well.Hayami wrapped her arms around mine and the two of us, glued to each other, walked out of the house toward our destination.We reached the train station and waited for our train to arrive on its platform.As we stood waiting for the train, I could feel all the eyes around us. Boys and girls alike were both looking at us in awe with their mouths hanging open. Hayami probably realized this as well as she scooted a little and whispered in my ears, with a hint of glee, "Everyone is looking at us, right?""Sure they are."Though rather than us, I think it would be better to say her. I was just a by-product.She was wearing a pink one-piece skirt that was slightly longer compared to other skirts. Th
After waking up the next day, I went down to make breakfast.When I was preparing breakfast, Hayami had already woken up and was seated on the chair with her elbows on the table and palm supporting her chin as she hummed a tune I had never heard before though it sounded melodious.As I served the dish on the plate, Hayami said with a hint of surprise, “What is this sodden-looking toast? Hmm…bread with soy-flavored boiled greens?”Laughing, I gave the actual name of the dish, “French toast.”“Ohh!” She said with excitement and used her hands to eat them. I couldn’t help but chuckle at that.“Hmm? Is something wrong?”“Normally, it is eaten using a fork and a knife.” I pointed at the fork and knife I had set beside her plate.Her face took a red hue and then stuffing the bread in her mouth, she said, “It doesn’t matter. We are at home anyway.”She looked cute and I enjoyed that bliss for a moment. Looking at her face, and thinking that I could die with someone like her filled my heart w