I Shall Eat The Heavens

Phony Immortal?

The celestial light shined from the skies as it almost blinded those that looked straight at it.

Some of the women even started to cry out in pain as they looked straight at the light and now they were clutching their faces.

Mu An averted her gaze from the light but she was still very excited to see the immortal arrive at their humble village.

She only knew that her forefathers were the people who interacted with the immortals and they were gifted heavily after they met the immortal, she was wondering what kind of gifts would they get now?

Mu An wanted to take a few steps closer as she lifted the chicken-filled plates over her head wanting to offer them directly to the immortal, even forgetting that her brother was currently in a brawl with the sheriff.

She loved her brother dearly, but an immortal was descending directly in front of her so she couldn't help but choose the immortal over her brother's current situation.

Even though Bai Feng was still angry at the Sheriff he couldn't help but take a glance upward at the light after he struggled up to a sitting position.

The light stopped descending after a while and out of it appeared…

Everyone stopped celebrating the moment the figure revealed itself.

A sickly old man with a braided beard came out of the light, he wore a hemp robe and sandals on his feet, the robe was battered by the elements and had holes in it while the sandals looked ready to fall off his feet due to how used they were.

His hair was dirty and unkempt and from the sly smile on his face, everyone realized that he was most likely a scammer!

Mu An put her arms down as she tried to hide her chicken away from the gaze of the dirty old man, she had worked hard on frying the chicken and adding the spices needed to create the perfect taste and she didn't want to offer it to this scamming old man!

Seeing that it was only a scammer made Bai Feng shake his head as he looked at the Sheriff who was now clutching the foot that he used to kick him.

He put a hand over the place he was kicked and felt that it hardened for some reason, weird.

He got up from his sitting position as he tackled the Sheriff taking him down to the ground.

Then he lifted his head to the air as he gave him a few headbutts directly to his cranium making him dizzy, blood started to slowly flow from the Sheriff's nose as he squealed:

"Men take this hooligan off me! He is crazy!"

The sheriff's associates immediately came to help him, at first the sheriff told them to watch from nearby as he wanted to teach Bai Feng a lesson personally but now that he was getting his ass handed to him he squealed for help.

The old man that arrived just looked at everything that was happening around him with a smile, it was as if they were all clowns prancing in front of him to entertain him in his eyes.

Seeing how the other men were trying to pry Bai Feng from the top of the Sheriff made the man unhappy as his fun was getting cut short.

He glared at the men as he opened his voice, his raspy voice finally being heard by the villagers:

"Don't you dare to touch the kid, let them finish their dispute!"

The duo of stalwart men that were the underlings of the Sheriff looked at the Old man that was slowly approaching them and they laughed towards him as they said:

"Hmm? And what are you gonna do about this old man? Throw your sandals at us?"

The old man snorted as he took off one sandal from his left foot making the duo laugh even harder as they said:

"Look at this old fool, who does he think he is? Can't he see he is one foot into the grave?"

The old man coughed as he said:

"Aren't you supposed to be the peace-keeping authorities around these parts? You aren't acting any nicely with the elderly it seems."

"Shut up old man, we would have acted nicely with you if you weren't a scammer and if you didn't interrupt our work!"

While they were talking down the old man they were still trying to take Bai Feng down from the Sheriff however he was rather heavy and even though they were two healthy and strong adults, way stronger than Xiao Chun who just reached adulthood and he didn't reach his full physical growth.

However even these two adults barely could pry Bai Feng away from the Sheriff's body, he was still trying to give him a few more headbutts as a repayment for the comment about his mother.

The moment the duo wanted to go and get rid of the old man Bai Feng increased his strength as he gave one more headbutt to the Sheriff's face.

The Sheriff continued to squeal as he said:

"YOU USELESS MORONS, TAKE HIM OFF ME ALREADY!"

"Damn you fatty Bai can you stop already! You are so damn heavy!"

The duo complained as they ignored the old man in favor of doing as their boss told them to first.

However, the old man wasn't going to ignore them as he threw the sandal from his hand.

The duo wanted to laugh at the old man again seeing how he threw his sandal at them only to realize that the moment the old man threw his sandal they couldn't see it anymore.

But the moment they saw it they realized that it was a few centimeters away from their faces, considering they were quite close to each other as they tried to take Bai Feng's heavy frame off from the Sheriff's body the sandal hit both of them in the face at the same time leaving half a sandal imprint on each of their faces!

They fell to the ground as they clutched each other's faces for a while until they realized that they were holding the wrong face.

Then they switched to holding their face.

"Damn it old man when we get up from here we will make sure you pay!"

The old man laughed as the sandal miraculously made its way back on his foot as he said:

"Ok then, I will be waiting."

He sat at the table as he started to snack on the food while he watched the confused Bai Feng glancing at him:

"Don't mind me, youngster, you should continue what you wanted to do to that man under you, I will make sure no one stops you!"

Bai Feng didn't know why this strange old man who was supposedly, maybe, an immortal but he wouldn't skip this occasion to beat someone that insulted his dear mother!

This time he stopped using his head as he rained fists down upon the man's face while saying:

"This is for calling my mother a whore!"

Another fist descended:

"This is for making my sister cry!"

Bai Feng clenched his fist harder this time as he unleashed all of his strength through that one punch, unleashing the strongest hit from the start of the fight up till now:

"AND THIS IS FOR MAKING ME WASTE TIME INSTEAD OF EATING AT THIS BEAUTIFUL BANQUET!"

The last hit made the Sheriff lose consciousness as it struck him directly under the jaw and rattling his brain.

A slow clapping sound came from the old man at the table as he took some of the remaining potato salad and stuffed his face with it, somewhat reminding the frozen crowd of Bai Feng's actions.

However the old man's aura and the vibe were very different compared to Bai Feng's so even though his actions were the same, they didn't invite the same reaction that Bai Feng had gotten.

Some of the women were reconsidering if the old man was truly an immortal or not, that sandal trick looked quite mysterious in the eyes of these common village people.

Even Xiao Chun woke up the moment he saw what happened regardless of how dizzy he felt, he wanted to get near the immortal and ask for guidance, he wanted to be recruited!

He took a few steps shaking off the dizziness from his head as he closed near to the table before he kneeled directly to the immortal and said:

"Great immortal please take me as your disciple!"

The old man ignored him as he filled his belly with the food on the table before letting out a big smelly burp that somehow made its way directly to Xiao Chun's face hitting it and making his nose twitch before he fainted directly in front of the old man.

"Ah, I haven't eaten like this in years, such good food, very good food!"

The man patted his belly that was still pretty much nonexistent, it was almost as if he didn't eat 99% of the food on the table.

Bai Feng was very surprised seeing that there was no more food on the table beside some

scraps left behind by the old man who was currently cleaning his teeth with a toothpick.

"What are you looking at youngster? Ya hungry? Look at your damn belly, you should tone down on food!"

Bai Feng didn't know what to say to this old man but he looked towards his sister who still had the fried chicken on the plate, she took a few steps forward, since all of the food on the table had already been taken care of she wanted to show the old man the family's chicken, maybe she would get rewarded if he liked the chicken.

Even though the others didn't get any reward, she knew that her chicken was special and worthy of a reward of some kind!

She took a few steps forward timidly but the old man's eyes started to shine the moment he took a glance at the chicken on her plates, he laughed boisterously as he waved his hand at Mu An and told her:

"Come here young lady, I shall taste some of your chicken as well!"

Mu An smiled at the old man even though he had a wretched appearance then put the plates in front of him, even though he got tired of the chicken Bai Feng couldn't help but glance at it as saliva slowly started to drip from his mouth…

However the old man didn't care about Bai Feng's condition at all as he started to eat the chicken quicker than lightning, Bai Feng blinked and the plates became empty, the old man almost ate quicker than him!

The old man started to mumble after he finished the chicken:

"This familiar taste… this familiar crunch… this is the village there is no doubt!"

The old man suddenly got up from the table as he looked around at all of the villagers that were looking at him, the men weren't supposed to come to the festival table because only the women were allowed to say the blessings, the exception being the men stationed to stop any troublemakers, but they all arrived after they heard the hubbub and some of the women went back to their houses to notify their husbands.

The old man looked around seeing that the crowd's number had increased he decided to tell everyone the news:

"I have descended from the immortal realm to give you villagers a batch of news, they are both good and bad news, and unfortunately I will have to start with the bad ones as they will affect your whole village!"