I'd Like to Change My Reincarnation Subscription, Please

Ch25 - Mind Flare

While the mighty cloth mountain, as sung in legend, was once the tallest point at the checkout counter, it has been trounced by the glorious shoe tower. Insignificant before its regal splendor, Jonathan has to hand the shoebox he bears to Mind Flare to add to its majestic parapets.

[Oh dear. You probably won't make it to the grocery store tonight at this rate. Is there anything you're in the mood for, I'll start researching restaurants in the area for you in advance?]

'Uhh... Not really. Apart from being rude, I'm worried if I ask Jonathan right now, we'll end up with a third joining us. And making the plans for us. Whew. At least hearing Jon's version of the exploding duffel bag incident was pretty funny. I guess MF is a bit... Lonely?'

[Probably, on multiple counts. I'll start compiling a list with various cuisines just to be safe.]

By now, it has been over half an hour since Mind Flare first approached the duo. While it had been purely conversation in the beginning, after some time Mind Flare had begun helping them shop as well. He'd made a series of suggestions, personally fetching them in the appropriate sizes, going on in great detail as to the designer, materials used, and so on.

Every so often, one or more of them would ferry a few things over to the diligent service bot. Poor thing.

As their time spent with their new-found super-villain friend reached the twenty-minute mark, Lucas and Jonathan had relaxed enough to start fooling around in their normal trollish fashion, much to Mind Flare's delight.

Once they've conquered the first floor with a 100% exploration rate, the three of them have fallen into a holding pattern near the service bot, wanting to wrap up the first wave of purchases.

Mind Flare quietly gives the service bot some instructions to start arranging for delivery, pausing to type a few things into the register terminal. Ooh, a coupon, sweet.

Holding the topside of the lower half of his left arm up to the scanner, Lucas somehow keeps an unchanging expression.

'Don't think about how many digits the total is. It doesn't matter. Don't think about it. Fuck, that's a lot.'

[Well, once your villain organization is set up, you already have enough to clothe any new members for quite some time... Hmm, I feel like that attempt at a joke fell short.]

'It's the thought that counts, you tried.'

[Ah, no wonder you make so many bad jokes.]

'...While that is funnier, it still hurts.'

Despite his wounded pride, Lucas does smile a bit.

From the entrance of the store, some loud, inarticulate shouting can be heard. Mixed in is also some long, dragged-out laughter. Their source's levels of sobriety remain dubious at best.

Given the way Mind Flare's expression sinks a bit as he sighs, this doesn't seem to be a rare occurrence.

"If you'll excuse me, gentlemen, it seems I have some other... Guests which require my attention. Perhaps I will have the opportunity to rejoin you anon. Either way, it has been a pleasure." With these parting words, Mind Flare performs a partial bow with a flourish. Lucas and Jonathan mimic the action, with far, far less elegance. Jonathan lets a chuckle slip out at their poor attempt.

'I fear that the upcoming schadenfreude is too much to resist.'

[On who's account?]

'Yes.'

[…]

Once Mind Flare has set off with a steady click-clack serving as his accompaniment, Lucas gently elbows Jonathan and lowers his voice to a whisper.

"Ya think it would be too rude to stay and watch for a bit? I feel like a show is about to start." As Jonathan listens to Lucas saying this, he gets his own expression of anticipation.

"Um, I think he likes us enough to not get too mad? Probably?" With his equally quiet response, Jonathan seems to be on the same wavelength in regards to staying for a bit longer.

Having reached a consensus, the duo moves a bit away from the register before settling in to watch the upcoming performance. The poor little service bot continues packing up the recently finalized transaction, ignored.

Halfway between the check-out counter and the entrance, the soon-to-be entertainers near each other. One party travels in a smooth rhythm while the inebriated pair... Not so much.

"Good afternoon gentlemen. Is there any way-" Mind Flare starts to address the pair of men, getting cut off partway through.

"What? No dress? Innit what's yous so famous fer?" The taller of the sauced pair, who slouches onto his companion at nearly 2 heads in height shorter than Mind Flare, slurs out this statement. The pair burst into such raucous laughter that you would think they were told the greatest joke of all time.

'I take it back, it's not just the thought that counts. You're flat-out funnier than these idiots. Do they have a death wish coming in here like that?'

[...Such a low bar.]

Lucas lets out a snort of laughter, delayed enough that Jonathan is aware that it isn't at the drunkard's question.

[No matter how much liquid courage they've had, I can only assume at least one of the two is enhanced in order to make them think they could remotely get away with this.]

'Mmm right, no way they'd live up till this point otherwise. I don't have high hopes for it being much longer though? Hey, what is MF's power anyway? All I've heard is he's a mental type.'

[I imagine you'll be seeing it yourself before long. His -36.72 GDV isn't just for show. Also, that's a significantly better value than it probably should be, seeing as he tends to spoil the designers that catch his interest.]

'Ooh shit. Fuck 'em up, bro.'

[Some hero you are.]

'I don't hear a GDV task alert?'

[Ahem. That shouldn't be the only time you behave.]

'Tch, I'm pretty good, don't pretend.'

Smiling to himself, Lucas faintly wishes he had some popcorn.

Mind Flare no longer maintains his fake smile, falling into a resting bitch face. Seeing that the drunks seem to be awaiting a response, he snorts softly before answering.

"If you have no intentions of shopping, I will have to kindly ask for you to leave. You are disturbing my other guests." Giving his polite threat, it seems he's aware of the audience not far behind.

"Oh yeah? Who says I'm not a cuzum... Cutsom... Customer?" After initiating philosophical debate and blindly grabbing something off of a rack nearby, the 'taller' mistake works his way over to the earnest service bot, which has mostly cleared off his station by now. His punchy compatriot laughs at this perceived comedy gold.

As the pair approaches Mind Flare, he smoothly sidesteps out of the way, pivoting so as to always be facing them.

Given the way the unfortunate randomly selected shirt is slammed down onto the counter in front of it, the service bot doesn't bother with any greetings and simply scans in the merchandise. Seeing the price come up on the screen, the would-be customer promptly expresses his dismay.

"The hell is thiz? You makin' fun uh me?" Completely disregarding the bot before him, he spins to face Mind Flare. "Don't think I'm scared of yous. Er'body knows us mental types are resistan' 'gainst each other. Just 'cus people make a big deal 'bout you fer throwin' on a dress don't make you special, fuckin' fairy." As he proverbially throws down the gauntlet, he makes a gesture with his right hand and a rack nearby starts to lift from the ground. Floating in place, all of its merchandise remains on it.

'Yo, screw this guy. Asshole.'

Given the way Jonathan is gritting his teeth while balling his hands into fists, he doesn't seem far off from joining in the fray. Lucas puts a hand on his shoulder and presses down a bit, just enough to hold him in place without hurting him.

Mind Flare crosses his arms over his chest, taking a few menacingly slow steps towards the instigator. His gaze shifts over to the laughing fool next to his opponent, narrowing his eyes slightly with a look of concentration.

Before the chemically courageous antagonist can lift his improvised weapon by more than an inch, Mind Flare has already finished off his friend.

With hardly any delay at all from the moment Mind Flare focuses, the head of his target erupts with force reminiscent of the late paint-filled duffel bag. Also, yielding a similar end result, given the coating of blood and brain matter on the surrounding area. The bloodied blast radius reaches far enough to also include the spectating duo.

Barely processing what he just witnessed, the drunkard swears and seems to put more focus into his efforts, starting to lift a bit faster. However, it is to no avail.

Mind Flare's attention is centered on the drunk for roughly a second and a half before his target's skull forcibly turns itself inside-out. With the process being a bit slower this time, the sights and sounds of his brain detonating are even more apparent.

'OH FUCK!'

While Lucas wasn't sure what to expect, it certainly wasn't this. He jumps a bit, releasing Jonathan in the process. Beside him, Jonathan draws in a sharp intake of breath, choking and coughing on the misted blood of the late troublemakers.

-----

Lucas kills this chapter: 0

Lucas total kills: 6

Lucas deaths this chapter: 0

Lucas total deaths: 6

Lucas current GDV: 4.47 (+.01 +.01 = +.02 net change)

Jonathan current GDV: .74 (+.01 net change)

-----

Little character theater:

Jonathan, busy spitting out other people's blood: Bleh!

Lucas, clearly shook: 427, why didn't you warn me how dangerous he is before coming here!?

427, after hesitating a bit: [...Why do you think I tried giving you advice on how to interact with him?]

Author, after sighing: Now I'm feeling sympathetic for the poor service bot that has to clean everything. There may or may not be an entire team of bots for this express purpose.