I'd Like to Change My Reincarnation Subscription, Please

Ch31 - One Lamp Grandmaster

"What!? No no no, there's gotta be a healer right? You know where there's a healer near here, right!?" With his eyes ringed in red, Jonathan's voice cracks as it raises in pitch towards the end of asking Mind Flare this. While Jonathan had originally been near Lucas on the side of the truck opposite Mind Flare, he had dashed over at full speed and is now face to face with him. Or at least, as close as he can be, considering their height difference.

'This is pretty painful to watch, even if I know it's not going to be the end result... But seriously, not now Jon. You're not helping, urg.'

[Well, he certainly gets full marks for intent.]

While Mind Flare had a bit of a thoughtful look on his face when Lucas made his request, it has softened into genuine pity as he faces Jonathan.

Not far from where they're standing, the door to Faunahorde has finished opening, and a large German Shepard pads its way out. It quickly dashes over to the truck, snoot going up to investigate the driver's seat. A few sniffs later it turns to dart off, but it doesn't need to go very far before stopping at the hollow-headed corpse. Barking once, it runs back to the door of Faunahorde in short order.

A moment after the dog had first run off, a lanky middling-height man with loosely braided shoulder-length dirty blond hair had also stepped out of the door. Dressed in a plain black tee-shirt with faded black jeans, he's covered in enough random fur from countless animals to the point it could be considered an accessory. Further along this line of animal accessories, a small Scarlet-Chested Parakeet is hanging upside down from the middle of his braid, seemingly enjoying itself.

Having determined it's not going to work out, Josephine has stopped her inspection of the truck and has also come over to stand next to Mind Flare, standing so as to be directly facing Lucas. When she sees that she has his attention, she slowly shakes her head once and stays quiet.

As Jonathan clenches his fists while in a fit of denial of Lucas's state, the new arrival comes over to join the party, after glancing in the direction of the corpse that the dog just barked at.

"...Seems you took care of things for me, Mark." The blond man says this while maintaining direct eye contact with Mind Flare.

"Of course I did, there's no need to be like that though, Daniel." Given their tones, this form of address appears to be their regular form of ribbing each other.

'Mark!? MARK!? That diva's fucking name is MARK?'

Lucas would start laughing if he could, but instead, he just coughs up another mouthful of blood. The shudder of repressed laughter outwardly looks like he's suffering even more than he actually is, which is admittedly a rather high bar.

[...Both of their names previously weren't in the system. I believe I understand why that was the case now. Alice Song's dead name still remains at large, however.]

With the heavy atmosphere, it seems that Lucas is the only one amused by the supervillain name-dropping that just occurred.

Hamming up his current status as a person that is suffering at death's door, Lucas coughs up another mouthful of blood and looks up at Mark, ahem, Mind Flare, again.

"Seriously, please. You know I'm done for, just end it." Lucas maintains eye contact with Ma... Mind Flare while repeating his plea.

[Since when were you so dramatic?]

'Dude, it fucking hurts.'

"Wait, don't, we have to at least try-" Jonathan's breakdown is increasing in intensity at this point, and Mind Flare has had enough of it. Concentrating his focus for a moment-

Lucas nearly falls to the ground, the crippling pain climbing up his calves is too intense to remain steady, though he does manage to catch himself before actually falling over. Taking a deep stabilizing breath, he brings a hand up to massage away the lingering pain in his head.

Jonathan jumps a bit with how strong of a reaction Lucas has while the raven flaps its wings once, croaking out a squawk that seems to carry a note of concern with it.

[I really hope you have a useful idea this time.]

'Rude.'

As he mentally dismisses 427, Lucas turns to face the oncoming truck. Jonathan shifts focus alongside him, an expression of curiosity mixed with an undertone of concern written across his face.

"Clear everyone off the sidewalk in front of this store." Tossing the shopping bag of clothes at him, he gives Jonathan this command in a low voice. Ready for action, Lucas walks over to the nearby streetlamp with the electronic walk/do not walk sign mounted onto it.

'Let's see where the threshold of what counts as 'excessive damage' is.'

[Oh... So you're going to...]

Lucas rolls his shoulders twice, crouches down low near the base of the pole, and then gets a firm grasp around it.

'Here goes nothing!'

With a strained groan, he starts slowly uprooting the thick concrete pole from the ground, the concrete of the sidewalk peeling and cracking upwards from around its base. With less effort than he had expected, the large bolts circling the bottom start popping out and the concrete tears apart from the ground around it.

A few cables of sparking electrical work snap and dance briefly before falling to the ground as he finally manages to completely uproot the pole. Once he's standing fully upright, he starts taking a few heavy steps towards the rapidly approaching truck, leaving a crater behind with each stomp.

While the nearby pedestrians weren't paying much heed to Jonathan at first, they now all collectively decide to go along with his urgings to leave the area. Posthaste.

Having the absolute greatest time of any of his lives, Lucas adjusts his newly acquired weapon into a better position to strike.

Between the chaos of the scattering of people, the enthusiastic honking of nearby swerving cars, and Lucas's primal, ecstatic, yell, there is now enough of a scene that Mind Flare and Josephine come out from their HQ to see what in the world is going on.

[You know, I distinctly recall someone saying 'You really jipped me with strength! I want a refund!']

'Okay fine! Maybe it's not so bad after all! Bwahaha, get fucking wrecked asshole!'

[...As long as you're happy.]

Jonathan has front row tickets to the event, wistfully thinking how great it would be to have popcorn right now as he appreciates Lucas's new hobby.

Poor Black Ash Snow is still too far to make it in time for the show.

Even with his enhanced endurance, the truck driver pales at the view of the widely swinging pole coming his way.

Lucas's battle cry has shifted entirely to crazed laughter at this point, the sheer delight of enjoying his enhanced strength for the first time is unmistakable.

Stomping his right foot into the street beneath him to help brace himself, he winds up and swings out the streetlamp in a perfectly level horizontal strike across the front of the truck's cab.

The sheer force behind the impact crumples the front of the truck, shoving it inwards enough that the driver is trapped in his position in the driver's seat by aggressively rearranged steel.

Simultaneously, neither the concrete pole nor Lucas's arms can handle the collision. A cloud of concrete dust scatters out as the pole shatters, the metal beneath which holds the electrical wiring bends and gets firmly lodged into the front of the truck.

Lucas's laughter immediately ceases, now it has instead become a shout of pain as the bones in his arms have transfigured into a state of being composed of more fracture than solid bone. The entirety of skin from his elbows downward becomes immediately bruised, at least where his bones didn't decide to make an external guest appearance, bringing some friendly neighborhood blood along with it.

'OH FUCK THAT SOMEHOW HURTS EVEN MORE!'

427's sympathy is expressed in an impressed whistle. Wait, he's not sympathetic at all.

At the cost of his arms, Lucas otherwise manages to accomplish all of his goals.

His lungs aren't terribly impressed with the arrival of all of this concrete dust, and with his arms now in a crippled state he can't even try to wave it off.

The truck doesn't even reach the sidewalk, though it is angled enough that the intended trajectory towards the oblivious happily playing puppies is self-evident. Even though it's a relatively small box truck, its current position is blocking a large part of the intersection as well as some of the crosswalk.

Surprisingly, a good amount of the flowing traffic continues around it once the dust settles without any additional accidents. It is by no means a quiet affair though.

Having witnessed the occasion, Mind Flare lets out his own impressed whistle, walking over to go through the crosswalk to get closer and have a good look at what just transpired. Josephine has no better control over her own curiosity, though she is much quieter about it as she comes over as well.

Realizing the action is over, Jonathan runs up next to Lucas, now starting to fret over the condition of his arms. Before he has much time to panic, Lucas interrupts him after coughing a few more times.

"Hey, do me a favor. That guy is a real asshole, go break his nose for me. Well, if you can, as I'm sure you can tell he's durable." Even though tears are streaming down his face from the pain and he is grimacing, Lucas can't overlook his heart's true desire.

-----

Lucas kills this chapter: 0

Lucas total kills: 6

Lucas deaths this chapter: 1

Lucas total deaths: 9

Lucas current GDV: [ERROR, recalculating]

Jonathan current GDV: [ERROR, recalculating]

-----

Little character theater:

Jonathan, concerned yet amused: That's what you're worried about right now?

Lucas, his face almost as much of a visual mess as his arms: Yes. That guy can go fuck himself.

427, with a trace of reluctance: [Well, I do have to give you credit. You had an idea, and it mostly succeeded. Mostly.]

Author, snickering: Mark's name though, heheh. Pretty sure everyone understands why he sticks to his villain name, even among those close to him.

Mr. Quacks, comfortingly: Quack.