I'd Like to Change My Reincarnation Subscription, Please

Ch40 - The Hero, Xenoclast

Very slowly, Lucas has finished painstakingly removing each and every tag from everything they brought home and putting all of the relevant things into the washer, as well as prepping it to run but leaving its door open.

As Lucas plops down onto the patched-up sofa and starts channel surfing in order to distract himself, a clean and mostly dried-off dog darts out of the bathroom to roll around on the wall-to-wall carpeting of the living room, kicking his legs happily into the air. Jonathan's laughing can be heard from the bathroom for a few seconds before he shuts the door.

Lucas is so delighted by the sight, he drops the TV remote he was previously holding right on the floor and gets up to run over and play with the dog. Unfortunately for 427, he has yet again released the mental pterodactyl-screech assault of happiness.

[Oh for the love of... Please. I'm begging you. Don't. Just, don't make that awful sound.]

'Eheheh, sorry. But seriously, LOOK AT HIM. Erhmahgerd, too cute.'

[...I'm glad you're happy. Really. Just, please, that sound is so awful. I can't just cover my ears or anything to help offset it either.]

'Hrm... True... But, counterargument; Look at how cute that dog is.'

[…]

'Okay, okay. I'll try not to. D'aww, those little toe beans...'

427 lets out a sigh as Lucas lies down on the floor on his side, next to the energetically rolling pup.

The TV is entertaining itself with the evening news, not that any living creature in the room is paying it an ounce of attention.

With Lucas's dog-observation skills running at 110%, he makes a fresh discovery.

"Oh, I thought you had some black spots too, but you were seriously just that dirty?" When he asks this out loud, he gets an energetic bark in response. Lucas bursts out laughing at the enthusiastic answer.

"Is that really something to sound so proud about?" Still chuckling, Lucas has now initiated belly-rub protocols. This time he gets two barks as an answer.

Taking a few moments to think it over, Lucas comes to a different realization. "Oh, it's that yer just that happy to finally be clean again?" When Lucas asks this, he gets another enthusiastic single bark.

Lucas laughs a bit more at the happy doggo, then he rolls over to grab some of the recently purchased dog toys to assist the pup in quality control research.

After some time of rigorous play-testing, Lucas is vaguely aware of Wraith Hunter's voice coming from the TV but doesn't think anything of it. He's spent so much time today with that voice as part of the background, it doesn't even register as unusual in his brain.

Between the frenzied squeaks of the large stuffed duck suffering the dog's onslaught, the sound of the bathroom door creaking open can just barely be heard. Jonathan comes out wrapped in a far too-large plush navy blue bathrobe, the bottom hem nearly touching the ground.

The washing machine spinning up into the final drain cycle seems intent on joining in on the noisiness competition. The duck's squeaker is still in the lead though.

"Hah! And I thought that thing was huge on me!" Lucas can't resist taunting the young teen from his position on the ground, sprawled out prone beside the doggo. Jonathan pouts slightly from the attack on his stature, driving Lucas to laugh even more while he gently pats the dog's back a few times before standing up again.

Jonathan's line of sight stays on the ground where Lucas was just laying, the left corner of his mouth twitching a bit. Seeing his expression, Lucas looks down and realizes that the majority of the concrete dust that was still on him is now on the floor instead. And on the dog too. Oops.

"...Where is your vacuum?" It seems that Jonathan wishes to invite a new challenger to the commotion competition. There's nothing quite like spending some time homeless to make you appreciate what you have and wanting to take care of it.

The dog freezes mid-attack for a few seconds, then resumes his assault on the faux fowl as if nothing happened.

"Eh? In the extra room at the end of the hall, I just use it for stor-" As Lucas is answering, he gets distracted by 427 suddenly laughing.

'Eh?'

[You really can't manage to stay off the news, can you? Look.]

With this prompt, Lucas turns over to see himself starting to uproot the thick concrete pole of the streetlamp with the electronic pedestrian crossing sign mounted on it. The video is at a slightly crooked angle, seeming to have been shot with a cellphone from the coffee shop across the street from Faunahorde, which is diagonally across the intersection from MF's Fashion Boutique.

Lucas laughs a bit and can't help pointing at the TV, turning to face Jonathan. "Ayyy, I know that guy." As the mutt hears Lucas say this, he stops the attack on ducky to look up and sees him on TV.

Jonathan looks over at the TV as well, chuckles a bit then walks off in pursuit of the vacuum cleaner.

Much like a bird preening in front of a mirror, Lucas is standing, transfixed, in the middle of the living room, intently watching the TV.

'Ha, look at that form, that technique! Ten outta ten, perfect score, would smash the front of a truck in again.'

[…]

The crystal-clear video keeps playing, showing the cloud of concrete dust settling a bit and Lucas walking around the truck to the far side away from the camera. After a few moments, it can be seen that the door of the truck suddenly flew away and the driver gets pulled out in short order, vanishing from view.

After the two men are out of sight for a few seconds, a faintly familiar female voice from near the source of the recording sounds out. "Oh, I gotta see this."

The recording shakes a bit, then the view is from the perspective of running out of the coffee store and crossing the crosswalk, weaving through traffic to do so. The recording zooms in on the still-sparking wires coming out of the hole in the ground where the pole was removed for a few seconds, accompanied by the sound of the woman that is doing the recording letting out an impressed whistle. Next, the shot pans back up to show Lucas sitting on the back of the driver that is half-submerged in the pavement.

"Aww, I missed it!" The almost recognizable female voice then transitions to laughter after saying this, zooming in a bit on Lucas for a few seconds. The shot then pans back out and slowly goes over all of the various supervillains present at the scene, paired with the running commentary of who each of the known supervillains are in an excited voice.

The excited tone of voice is what finally drives home why her voice seems familiar; it's the owner of the handbag that led to all of the events resulting in Lucas getting caught up with the Superhero Enhancement System.

As this realization comes to Lucas, the tips of his ears turn a bit red.

'Wait, she was ACTIVELY WATCHING ME? Isn't that, like, way creepy?'

[...Hardly the strangest thing a fangirl has done.]

'Urk, yeah, I guess...'

The video from the recording finally comes to an end, the TV screen now shows Wraith Hunter seated near the familiar blonde news anchor who is giving him an interview. Lucas's mind is still thinking about his stalker, merely considering Wraith Hunter's voice as white noise.

"Yeah, he was a huge help. His name's Lu- ahem, Xenoclast. He said he's going to be registering his own organization tomorrow morning, and that kid you saw is going to be his sidekick. He goes by Jackknife." Just before Wraith Hunter casually exposes them on television, Jonathan has come back out into the living room with the dusty vacuum cleaner. He gasps when he hears the name-dropping.

"Uh, isn't it kinda, um, kinda bad to get well known like this?" As Jonathan points this out, Lucas groans and covers his face with his hands.

"Seriously, now that crazy lady knows my name!" As usual, Lucas has focused on the wrong thing.

The pup at Lucas's feet gives an inquisitive sounding bark as he finally turns his attention away from the television, looking up at Lucas instead.

"Eh? That chick that recorded the video! I've helped her before and she got all weird about it!" As Lucas declares this in a sorrowful voice, Jonathan breaks out laughing.

The dog pants a bit, sounding a lot like his own form of laughter. He keeps this up until he finally notices the vacuum and runs to the bathroom in a panic to escape its wrath.

-----

Lucas kills this chapter: 0

Lucas total kills: 6

Lucas deaths this chapter: 0

Lucas total deaths: 10

Lucas current GDV: 5.76 (+.01 net change)

Lucas's fame level: 2* (Mostly just local)

Lucas's hero suspicion level: 1* (Only highly paranoid people)

Jonathan kills this chapter: 0

Jonathan total kills: 4

Jonathan deaths this chapter: 0

Jonathan total deaths: 2

Jonathan current GDV: 1.56 (+.01 net change)

Jonathan's fame level: 1.5* (Just local)

Jonathan's hero suspicion level: 1* (Only highly paranoid people)

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Little character theater:

Jonathan, now laughing at the dog: Uhh, if he's so smart, why is he still afraid of vacuums?

Lucas, ready to dash after the pup: Don't worry buddy, I hate them too!

Spooked pupper, questing for a safe space from the horror which is vacuum cleaner: Bark bark! Bark bark!

427 continues to be rendered silent by Lucas's behavior, for the hundredth time.

Author, nodding with their arms crossed: I mean, the noise that vacuum cleaners tend to make IS pretty awful.

Mr. Quacks, confident he would hold up better against the pup's playtime than how the stuffed duck was fairing: Quack!