"Bah, whatever. It shouldn't be enough for anyone to be wary of us, yeah? No point worrying about it, I guess... Ugh, I really am creeped out knowing she was watching me like that though... Oh, er, thanks for cleaning up!" As Lucas looks at the TV one last time, he acknowledges Jonathan before running off to grab some towels and a change of clothes for himself. Once he has all of his selections, he goes into the bathroom, closing the door behind him.
A slightly stunned Jonathan stands in place for a moment, staring at the recently shut bathroom door.
[I'd say that while it isn't a good thing to get this kind of publicity right away, it shouldn't be too much of a threat. We're going to have to work on some villain-appropriate PR moves sooner than initially planned though.]
'Eh... Yeah, I guess. I'm sure you'll figure it out.'
[...Thanks for your confidence, but you should at least try to think about it too.]
'Yeah, yeah.'
As Lucas protects the poor innocent pupper from the tyranny of the detested vacuum, he figures he might as well give him another round of cleaning to get rid of all the concrete dust he got on him.
As Lucas is about to ask the doggo if he wants another bath or just a shower, there's the sound of the vacuum starting up and the poor dog jumps in the bathtub and hides behind the shower curtain. Lucas struggles not to laugh at his frightened antics.
After only a few seconds, however, the noises from the living room cut off. There's the faint muffled sound of Jonathan talking to himself for a moment and then a knock on the bathroom door.
"Um, Lucas? Is it okay if, um, if I borrow your keys for a minute? Your vacuum sucks. No, uh, it doesn't suck, th-that's the problem." As Jonathan manages to simultaneously be as awkward as ever yet assertive about how useless the vacuum is, Lucas just laughs in response.
After laughing a few times, there's another timid knock at the door. Before Jonathan can work up the courage to ask for permission again, Lucas finally gives him a real answer.
"Yeah, yeah. Go and borrow some clothes out of my dresser, it's fine. Just don't wander off too long. Oh, get one that's good for pet hair while you're at it." Upon receiving Lucas's consent, there are the clear sounds of Jonathan walking off and going into the bedroom, and then of the dresser drawers being opened and rummaged through a bit.
Aware that the danger of ferocious mechanical suction has temporarily passed, the dog comes out of the corner of the tub he was trying to hide in. He stands with his front paws on the edge of the tub, his tail now happily wagging behind him. This cute display is too much, and Lucas ends up laughing at him.
"Seriously, I don't like them either but was there really a need to run and hide?" While Lucas asks this, he reaches up and wipes away a tear that formed at the corner of his eye from laughing too hard. The insulted pup whines briefly and then barks at him, once. This only makes Lucas laugh even more.
After a few minutes there are some metallic noises from Jonathan grabbing the keys off the coffee table, unlocking the front door, opening and closing it, and then finally re-locking it from the outside.
'I'd ask you to keep an eye out for him, but I imagine we can leave that to 11. Can you keep in touch with 11 though, just in case something happens?'
[Oh? So you remembered you decided to take care of Jonathan too?]
'Hey! He's a big boy, he can handle himself. But dis cute little pupper needs much more attention...'
[...It seems you're only capable of spoiling one target at a time. If I could play back some recordings of some of the things you've said and done earlier this very day... Whatever, yes, I'll keep in touch with 011.]
Some time later, the pup has been washed once again, their new clothes have been run through the dryer, Lucas has showered and changed into red plaid pajamas, and Jonathan has returned with a pet-hair-approved vacuum.
Unfortunately for the dog, this vacuum has been unpacked and plugged in just as he was about to fall asleep on the sofa.
As the unholy scourge upon pup-kind has begun its conquest upon an embarrassingly soiled carpet, the poor sleepy pupper leaps nearly a full foot straight up in the air off of the sofa he just finished getting comfy on.
If he could speak, he'd certainly ask how in the world could Jonathan possibly decide that it is currently a good time to do such a terrible thing. It's inexcusable, really.
With his flight response fully triggered, the mutt charges through the open door to Lucas's bedroom.
Lucas had been lying in bed, idly looking up lists of various established villain organizations, looking for name inspirations. And low-key getting away from the upcoming noisy vacuum invasion.
Noticing the sudden movement, Lucas rolls over and reaches down, beckoning the dog over to be lifted up. He successfully intercepts the pup before he crawled under the bed, which would have definitely necessitated yet another bath.
Once up on top of the soft expanse, the doggo dives headfirst under the blankets, tunneling into them until only the scrawny end of his tail and spindly rear legs are sticking out from the covers.
Giving another chuckle, Lucas gently pats the lump of blankets in roughly the location of the center of the doggo's back, trying to soothe him a bit.
"It's all right buddy, you're safe. The noise really must be awful to your ears, huh?" As Lucas says this in a soft, low voice, there is a single, muffled, bark from under the pile of fabric.
For the entire twenty minutes that Jonathan spends vacuuming the living room, the slightly trembling dog doesn't move from his blanket burrow.
Jonathan lets out a clear, satisfied sigh in the living room. Shortly after, there is a sharp click, and the sound of the power cord quickly retracting. Hearing this series of events, Lucas pats the pup pile twice.
"You can come out now, he's done." After Lucas says this, the dog freezes for a moment and then starts slowly wiggling his way backwards.
There are a few more sounds from the vacuum cleaner being messed with, followed by a sharp gasp. After one more click, there is a series of rapid footsteps charging into Lucas's room.
Jonathan has a very clearly angry and accusatory expression on his face as he holds up the alarmingly full clear plastic dirt bin from the vacuum.
"Oh, damn. That thing works pretty well, huh?" Lucas's extremely casual tone doesn't calm Jonathan down in the least bit.
"How long has it been since you've last cleaned!?" Jonathan losing his nervous stutter when he's mad amuses Lucas quite a bit.
"Eh, I don't remember. I just do it when it seems like it needs it." Lucas's continued casual tone just maddens Jonathan even further.
'Hah, looks like I don't have to worry about cleaning ever again as long as he's around, nice.'
[...Assuming he doesn't make you do it, and to his standards at that. Just how long HAS it been?]
'Uh… I've only done some spot cleaning since I came here a month ago? No idea when the last time the previous dude did, but whatever, everything seemed fine enough.'
[...You must have a high tolerance against becoming ill.]
'I'm pretty sure you just called me a slob?'
[I'll say it now. You're a slob. You're going to be deep cleaning this whole apartment over the next few days, don't just leave it all to Jonathan. I'll even find a way to try and limit the minor GDV tasks that trigger while you're at it.]
'Nooo! I'd rather go grind quests!'
As Jonathan notices the sinking expression of despair on Lucas's face, his own expression lightens. He's correctly assumed that 427 was scolding him, and insisting he does something about it.
-----
Lucas kills this chapter: 0
Lucas total kills: 6
Lucas deaths this chapter: 0
Lucas total deaths: 10
Lucas current GDV: 5.77 (+.01 net change)
Lucas's fame level: 2* (Mostly just local)
Lucas's hero suspicion level: 1* (Only highly paranoid people)
Jonathan kills this chapter: 0
Jonathan total kills: 4
Jonathan deaths this chapter: 0
Jonathan total deaths: 2
Jonathan current GDV: 1.7 (+.01 +.01 +.1 +.01 +.01 = +.14 net change)
Jonathan's fame level: 1.5* (Just local)
Jonathan's hero suspicion level: 1* (Only highly paranoid people)
-----
Little character theater:
Jonathan, still fuming about how filthy the carpet was: It's! A! Different! Color! I'm getting a steam cleaner tomorrow!
Lucas, incredibly distressed: Nonono, we need to make our villain organization, right!? Just hire a professional to do the floors!
A certain doggo that was halfway out of his hiding place under the blankets: *muffled* Bark bark!
427 continues judging Lucas's lifestyle choices.
Author, snickering: There's no getting out of it Lucas, it's your own fault.
Mr. Quacks, also judging Lucas's lifestyle choices: Quack...
"Okay fine, we'll clean the place up soon! Ugh, most of the stuff in the front room is probably junk anyway, we should be able to clear it out enough that you can have your own bedroom... Don't look at me like that! I'm not some hoarder or anything like that!" As Lucas caves under Jonathan's judgmental stare, he even feels like the dog is judging him too. Which he is."If that's not a hoarder, then what else do you call someone that keeps a room full of junk for no good reason?!" As Jonathan subconsciously channels the wrath of his mother that disowned him, Lucas can't help but sputter a bit."I'm just a... Lazy... Pack-rat... That really doesn't sound much better, does it..." As Lucas achieves enlightenment with this rare bout of introspection, he exhales a deep sigh.
"All right, enough of that. Seriously though, we need to at least come up with a name, if nothing else. I was lookin' at some existing ones, seems the bar for naming is uh... Pretty low." After speaking just a few words, Lucas has already turned and started walking away from the bathroom. He doesn't even remotely bother to check if Jonathan is actually following or not.Once he makes it to the coffee table, Lucas grabs his laptop and goes over to plop down onto the patched-up sofa. As he settles in, he kicks his feet up onto the coffee table and pats the sofa cushion next to him a few times, encouraging the pup to come up and join him. Instead, he suddenly gains a Jonathan, who ends up picking up the pup to hold on his lap. Once the pupper is in place, he leans over to look at the laptop screen.'Yeah, one day is definite
With everyone turning their attention back on track, they don't make it very far into the list before Jonathan speaks up with a confused voice."Wait... Alliance of Salvation? What... What kind of supervillain team name is that?" While he does a double-take and asks this out loud, he furrows his brows to the point they're practically touching. On the other hand, Lucas bursts out laughing."Right!? I had the same thought when I first saw 'em, so I looked 'em up. Turns out they're mainly a drug cartel, specializin' in some seriously heavy stuff. Like, whatever that dude that was harassing you this morning was on type shit. So yeah, the name weirdly makes sense in context. I'm pretty sure that if their HQ burned down, they'd probably get the entire country high. ...And give everyone cancer or some shit too." As Lucas gives this
Continuing on with laughing their way through the exceedingly long list of supervillain organizations, another F name catches Lucas's eye.'Oh? Floralanche? Heh, sounds like they should be neighbors with Dan.'[They practically are. They're three buildings down the block from Faunahorde. As far as I am aware, the florist shop's owner Nightshade personally tends to the growth of all of the seeds, fruit, and various other vegetation that the miscellaneous inhabitants of Faunahorde consume.]'Oh, hey. They related or something?'[Not as far as I am aware.]'Huh.'"Um... Luca
While Jonathan is still having fun role-playing as a beam of happy sunlight, Lucas resumes scrolling through the absurdly long listing of supervillain organizations.Only a little further into the S section, Lucas bursts out laughing, bringing an abrupt end to Jonathan's LARPing session.As Jonathan's curiosity takes over, he looks at the inciting name, thinking for a brief moment before promptly joining in the laughter."How fuckin' petty do you have to be to name your organization 'Slaying Doom Flock'!? What did the boss of 'Doom Flock' do to you, bro!?" As Lucas manages to say this between bouts of laughter, he slaps his thigh as he leans forward for a moment.[It's a good thing you just got that endurance en
After a blissfully peaceful night of rest, Lucas is annoyed awake by a beam of sunshine sneaking through the gaps in his curtains. Trying to escape the offending daylight, he rolls over to his other side, keeping his eyes tightly shut.As he's trying to fall back asleep, after a few seconds he notices an odd smell. Not particularly strong or offensive, but uniquely different from anything he's woken up to before.Once curiosity overwhelms his desire to attempt catching additional zzz's, he slowly opens his eyes, freezing in place for a moment while his brain catches up to current events.He's instantly reminded that he no longer lives alone perforce of the sight before him. This view being that of a surprisingly large pair of fuzzy dark brown balls about 2 inches away
Once the majority of the contents of the bag have been demolished, Lucas is still slowly eating the last of the extra-crispy home fries with his bare hands.The pup is sprawled out on his stomach, his long spindly front legs awkwardly holding a plain bagel in place as he slowly gnaws on it, more for the sheer sake of chewing on it and not because he has any lingering hunger at this point.Jonathan has already finished eating and has washed his hands free of any lingering bacon grease, though he had notably eaten the most out of the three of them, and by no small margin either.As should be no surprise to anyone, no small amount of home fry crumbs have landed on the cursed patch of carpet. However, with the power of snoot, the dog resolved that issue quickly enough. Jon
Between no longer being punchy from fatigue, as well as becoming desensitized to how awful most of the names are, their continuation of going over the list of supervillain organizations doesn't grab them anywhere near as much as it had last night. There are still the occasional chuckles and bits of snark, but it is half-hearted at best in comparison.The multiple pages of names beginning with Villain, Villains, Violence, and Violent are so numbing that they're all extremely thankful they stopped when they did last night.Starting the W's earns a pause though when the very first entry is 'Wahahaha!' Needless to say, Lucas and Jonathan take turns doing their best evil laugh to try and do the name justice.Not wanting to miss out, Willy gives a warbling howl as well. This
Lucas and Jonathan—dressed decently but nowhere near as fancy as yesterday—are most of the way to Cat’s Paw Cafe, pointedly not utilizing the stinky subway station to get there.‘Ya know, it’s been surprisingly peaceful, yeah? Though, not havin’ people gawk as much as yesterday is kinda nice. All that attention was gettin’ old fast.’[Ahem, well, fortunately, Boss System approved my long-term task priority filtering proposal.]‘Oh? Whassat?’[Compared to before, now it requires an opt-in before being bombarded with every single task in range. Before receiving alerts—and therefore penalties for ignoring them—we’ll run the calculations of the tasks’ estimated impact vs. potential unwanted attention. This effectively weeds out a majority of minor tasks—plus some moderate ones—by accounting for how suspicious it would be for you to know the event was taking place, let alone be believably compelled to interfere. I knew there was no need to ask if you were interested in activating it immedi
Once the allotted thirty minutes have passed—precisely down to the second—427 tentatively undeafens Lucas. At first, all he can hear is a booklet’s pages being flipped through, followed by Lucas grumbling.Hesitantly removing the remaining sensory suppressions one at a time, 427 nearly sighs with relief upon discovering that Lucas is standing in the kitchenette by the new automatic drip coffee maker—thankfully dressed—in the midst of poorly attempting to demystify its instruction manual.‘How the hell is this so complicated?’[Ah, making good on your promise to Jonathan?]‘Oh, thank fuck; yer back. Took ya long enough.’[…Hello, again, to you, too.]‘Yeah, yeah, yeah. Welcome back. So, anywho, can ya scan through this or somethin’ and tell me how to use it?’[…I already looked up the instructions from everything’s model numbers earlier. First, measure out—]427 guides Lucas through measuring and grinding a serving’s worth of coffee beans and setting it up in the machine with such in-d
For a few peaceful minutes, Lucas delights in demolishing the delicious delicatessen delivery. As Jonathan reaches for his coffee cup to gauge if it’s cool enough for a sane person to drink, he ends up cutting himself off with a yawn, earning a side-eye from Lucas.“Hey, ya barely got any sleep, yeah? Instead of havin’ caffeine, shouldn’t ya go take a nap?” Upon Lucas’s question, Jonathan pauses, looking at the contents of his mug with an obvious longing. “I’ll make ya a fresh one in like half an hour; I’m sure 427 can figure out howta use whatever newfangled machine ya got,” Lucas continues, his eyes also fixed on the beverage.[…I suppose I appreciate your vote of confidence.]Jonathan’s gaze lingers on the coveted coffee for a moment before he sets it back on the table. As soon as he lets go of it, Lucas lays his claim upon it.“Um, o-okay, yeah. I just, um, sh-should take a shower first,” Jonathan stammers as he stands.Lucas hums an agreement around a mouthful of coffee.[Did y
Thankfully, there are no further interruptions during the rest of this round of deliveries. Or even during the next one, either.Once Jonathan finally has the fourth and final load of freight, he makes a detour to a delicatessen. More specifically, the one where he previously purchased yesterday’s breakfast.After equally uneventfully acquiring milk, third breakfast for himself, and first breakfast for Lucas—since he’d totally only eat sugary baked goods if real food wasn’t conveniently available—he makes his way home.With his back to the recently re-locked front door, Jonathan reclaims the last armload of supplies as he looks at Lucas’s still-shut bedroom door.‘…Our food will still be too hot to eat for a little while; I’ll make some coffee first.’Jonathan may or may not be making up excuses to keep putting off waking up Lucas in the hopes that he’ll do so on his own, knowing full well that he probably won’t.While taking longer than necessary to decide which appliance to christen
“Ah! Um…” Jonathan’s face scrunches up a bit as he looks over his pending purchases.‘Can we at least turn off tasks while my hands are full? I really don’t want to drop everything and have it get broken or stolen by the time I get back to it… It will be annoying enough having to run back and forth a bunch.’[Requesting temporary task suppression… Permission granted; disregarding minor tasks for one hour at no penalty, effective immediately.]Jonathan barely represses his urge to sigh with relief.Before Ji Soo works up the nerve to express concern over Jonathan’s vacant stare at the wall behind the service bot, Jonathan’s attention returns to reality and redirects to said bot.“Um, c-could you hold some of it for a few minutes once I’m done paying? I-I won’t take long… Like, five minutes?” Before fidgety Jonathan even finishes asking his question, the bot is already nodding.“Certainly. Do you wish to use a private scanning kiosk to complete your order?”‘I’m surprised it’s even an
Jonathan, however, doesn’t hear the utterance of recognition. Unaware, he continues his quest for a coffee maker.A short time later, Jonathan stands--while quietly grumbling--before a row of two-in-one coffee/espresso machines.Behind him is a sea of drip coffee machines, with cold press equipment further off to the side. Alongside the arrangement of two-in-ones sits a selection of espresso machines, both automatic and semi-automatic.‘How are there so many!? What even are the differences? Wait, no, don’t answer that. The technical details will probably just be even more confusing.’[Understood.]Although Jonathan notices movement in his peripheral vision, he doesn’t outwardly react to the recent arrival at the end of the aisle. Instead, he pulls out one of the two-in-one machines set at eye level, rotating it so he can read the back of the box.“Ah! Don’t get one of those! That entire line is overpriced trash,” the newcomer blurts out, muffled by the layers of carbon-filter fabric f
After the harrowing--see also; totally normal--experience of getting his hair professionally cut, Jonathan blinks a few times as he looks himself over in the mirror. ‘Oh, wow. That’s way better.’ He’s now sporting a long-top, backswept, tapered hairstyle with a rounded back. Given how clearly tense he was throughout the entire cutting process, a trendy skin fade would have fairly obviously been too much for his liking. After giving Jonathan a few moments to make his mental evaluations, one of the hairdresser’s dreadlocks uses a soft-bristle brush to clear away the loose hair clippings around the collar of the barber cape. A few other coils of his hair organize the various tools he used, setting them aside for cleaning. Meanwhile, he quickly sweeps aside the bulk of the rogue tufts of hair on the ground in a much more conventional hands-on-broom method as he uses the mirror to make eye contact with Jonathan again. “Lookin’ good, mon. Well? Whaddya tink?” His question pulls Jonath
Once Jonathan is finally en route to the hairdresser...[Safe distance from Mikah’s power detected. Alert; you have exceeded 10 GDV. You have one enhancement available.]‘Oh! Um, you said before that rank three vision should be good enough to see through Maria’s powers, right?’[Correct, rank three should be sufficient as long as her target is in motion. Rank four would be necessary to see anything stationary, given the current strength of her powers. Please be aware that going beyond rank three for any individual enhancement has additional requirements.]‘Three should be good enough to avoid most of her pranks... Use my upgrade on vision.’[Please confirm that you would like rank two vision.]‘Yeah.’[Understood. Please close your eyes during calibrations to avoid nausea.]Jonathan slows from running at enhanced speed into a normal-paced jog for a few steps, then stops and shuts his eyes.[Bzzt... Calibrations complete.]He opens his eyes and looks around, blinking several times.‘Wo
The duo’s fiery funnel further forces the growing multi-car pile-up towards the middle of the street for a few seconds longer. Finally, the flames falter and fade. After a short delay, the wind wanes as well.‘Oh, I shouldn’t give them any extra reasons to think I’m a threat.’Jonathan swiftly shuts and pockets his switchblade as he follows the sidewalk. While doing so, his attention flicks between the ongoing chaos in the street and the front door of Howling Cartographer’s HQ lobby.Ashley steps through the door with Jason right behind her. They both take a moment to appreciate their destructive handiwork with smug expressions. Considering that Jonathan is conspicuously the only person still in the immediate vicinity, they quickly focus on him.Before either of them manage anything beyond a glare, Jonathan raises both hands in a submissive gesture, showing that he isn't wielding a weapon. "I-I just wanted his gun!"Ashley's exposed eye squints with amusement, the not hair-hidden cor