I'd Like to Change My Reincarnation Subscription, Please

Ch42 - Top Dog

"Okay fine, we'll clean the place up soon! Ugh, most of the stuff in the front room is probably junk anyway, we should be able to clear it out enough that you can have your own bedroom... Don't look at me like that! I'm not some hoarder or anything like that!" As Lucas caves under Jonathan's judgmental stare, he even feels like the dog is judging him too. Which he is.

"If that's not a hoarder, then what else do you call someone that keeps a room full of junk for no good reason?!" As Jonathan subconsciously channels the wrath of his mother that disowned him, Lucas can't help but sputter a bit.

"I'm just a... Lazy... Pack-rat... That really doesn't sound much better, does it..." As Lucas achieves enlightenment with this rare bout of introspection, he exhales a deep sigh.

[...The first step is admitting you have a problem.]

'Hah! Screw you.'

"Well, whatever, we'll take care of it, okay? ...I gotta say though, you losin' your stutter when yer yelling is pretty funny." As Lucas finishes saying this, Jonathan is, of course, immediately self-conscious.

Now it is Jonathan's turn to sputter a few times, his face slowly turns red over the course of a few seconds until he eventually then turns in place and bolts out of the room, too flustered to retort. He hastily places the vacuum's dirt trap down next to the garbage can in the living room and then sprints into the bathroom at top speed, slamming the door behind him.

Lucas's self-satisfied taunting laughter echoing throughout the apartment hardly serves as any comfort for the shy teen.

Feeling the need to stand up for the bullied child, the pup lying beside Lucas sits up and glares at him, barking twice.

"What? Don't you tell me no, it's hilarious." Lucas has a huge grin on his face as he turns his attention over to the doggo that is attempting to scold him.

The pup snorts, barks twice again, and then rears back slightly and stomps his front paws down onto the soft bed once, bouncing a bit from the movements. Lucas finds the dog's actions far too cute to count as a reproach, causing him to laugh a bit more.

"Fine, fine, I'll apologize in a bit." While Lucas tries to humor the pup, he gives him a brief ear rub as additional consolation. He gets another firm bark combined with another authoritative stomp, however, the doggo's resolve seems to weaken from the delightful ear rubs.

Lucas can hear the dryer door getting opened and its contents getting rummaged through from the front of the bathroom, as well as some muffled, low talking. Shortly after, 427 bursts out laughing.

'Oh? What'd he say? Come on, tell me!'

[Ahem, and I quote: 'How can someone so nice be such an asshole?' He's not wrong.]

'Ayyy, I resemble that remark.'

Lucas is rewarded with some more laughter from 427. He really has been such a bad influence on the diligent little system, ex-person, thing, friend, whatever.

"I gotta tease him at least a little more first though." As Lucas slides out of the bed, he gets another pair of barks sent his way. "You can't stop me!"

[...Even if he is more intelligent than you, there's something funny about you arguing with a canine.]

'You could have left that first part out you know. Seems I'm not the only jerk around here.'

427 is particularly amused by the fact that Lucas didn't even try to argue with him, making another round of laughter.

As Lucas finishes getting out of bed and turns to face the dog again, he is rewarded with the sight of another stomp, this time with enough force that the pup's entire body bounces on the bed. Still grinning from earlier, Lucas reaches out to pick up the dog and let him down on the floor, chuckling a bit more throughout the process.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, it'll be worth it though, trust me. Come on, let's go." Lucas says this as he finishes setting the pupper down onto the ground. Once he releases his hold, the mutt runs in two small circles around him and then walks out of the bedroom.

Lucas grabs his laptop and heads out to the living room, setting it down on the coffee table. As his smile spreads with a mischievous look, he heavily knocks on the bathroom door with the back of his hand, causing the stressed wood to creak a bit with each impact.

"No point hiding in there sulking, brat, ya know I could get through this wood door in a second." The joy of stirring up trouble has crept beyond just being a facial expression, now also tinging Lucas's tone of voice as well.

Rising to the bait, Jonathan spits back a sullen "Fuck you, jerk." which is muffled by the door between them.

[You really love bullying the poor child, don't you?]

'He makes it too easy!'

"Aha! That's more like it. A much more becoming attitude of the second in command in my upcoming supervillain organization." As Lucas finishes saying this, there is a sudden gasp and clatter of a hard object falling onto the tile flooring of the bathroom.

Immediately afterward, the door is ripped open from the inside, revealing Jonathan's brightly lit face. He's now dressed in the light blue pajamas covered in little cartoon fishes that he had picked out to bring home from MF's Fashion Boutique, albeit a bit sloppily. His overgrown black hair is also a disheveled mess, he probably had just pulled the shirt on before opening the door.

"You mean it!?" Jonathan practically bounces while asking, his eyes wide open as he stares at Lucas expectantly.

"Eh? Who else is it gonna be? The dog? How about Mr. Quacks? He's at least more intimidating than you normally are, considering ya seem like you'd apologize if someone else bumped into you." Even though Lucas is blatantly insulting him, Jonathan's smile grows and he starts laughing.

"Clearly the dog should be first!" Jonathan verbally jabs back, having already written Lucas off as being tsundere yet again.

Accepting the nomination, the pup gives one loud, authoritative bark. This leads to Jonathan's laughter intensifying, and both 427 and Lucas join in as well.

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Lucas kills this chapter: 0

Lucas total kills: 6

Lucas deaths this chapter: 0

Lucas total deaths: 10

Lucas current GDV: 5.76 (-.01 net change)

Lucas's fame level: 2* (Mostly just local)

Lucas's hero suspicion level: 1* (Only highly paranoid people)

Jonathan kills this chapter: 0

Jonathan total kills: 4

Jonathan deaths this chapter: 0

Jonathan total deaths: 2

Jonathan current GDV: 1.7

Jonathan's fame level: 1.5* (Just local)

Jonathan's hero suspicion level: 1* (Only highly paranoid people)

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Little character theater:

Jonathan, immediately accepting the convoluted apology: Oh! Oh! You're making Mr. Quacks the mascot, right!?

Lucas, fragile ego soothed by not having to make a real apology: Well duh!

A certain super-intelligent pup: Whine. Bark Bark.

427, trying to console the doggo: You're probably going to have a better position than just being a mascot. Frankly, you really would be better suited to lead than Lucas is.

Author, grinning mischievously: You know, it's almost alarming how easily you cheered Jonathan up, Lucas.

Mr. Quacks, pleased with his nomination: Quack!