Irregularity

Sleeping Pill?

A few days have passed and I haven’t asked Ivan about his meeting with a shady man in the dead of the night. I tried to bring that topic up, but I couldn’t muster up the courage to do so. Despite us always walking up to school every morning, I find it hard to ask him something personal.

Just like today. I’m walking alongside him, but I can’t bring that topic up. It’s just too heavy and the prospect of it being a mistake and ending up straining our friendship scares me.

He is one of the few friends I have in school. If I were to lose him because of my curiosity, I’d greatly regret it for the rest of my life. I know it.

I let out a frustrated sigh. I saw him looking at me with a serious expression on his face. It wasn’t his usual cheery and enthusiastic face. I seldom see him being serious. And once he shows that face, it will take a while till he reverts back to his usual self.

“What? Is there something wrong?” I asked.

I can’t be too obvious that something is bothering me. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be able to keep my curiosity to myself.

He looked at me as if he was inspecting something, my face, or my expression. He even went as far as touching my face and turning it from side to side, just so that he can figure out what’s going on.

“What the heck, Ivan. Do I have something on my face?” I asked him again.

“Me? There’s nothing wrong with me.” said Ivan.

“Then why are you acting stra-”

“Strange? As far as I can see, you’re the one that’s acting strange.”

He cut me off. He only does that whenever he is greatly interested in something. And in this case, it’s what’s in my head.

I can’t let him figure out that something’s bothering me.

As a resort, I turned my head away and tried to compose myself. 

There are times that Ivan is insanely perceptive. Although it’s just once in a while, it can be troublesome.

“Relax. Relax. My muscles.” I told myself over and over again.

“Hey, Ren. Perhaps, there’s something bothering you?” he asked, “You’ve been acting strange for a few days now, you know? It’s like you’re stressed or something. Is it about your part-time job? The last Irregularity Break, as I remember, was close to your part-time job, right? Were you anxious about that?” he added.

He’s slightly off the mark, but he managed to get as close to my concern. As expected of his unreliable perception that only comes once in a while. 

To think that he was observing me for the last few days. Did he feel something wrong in me from the very first day I wanted to ask him about his meeting with that strange man that night?

That could be plausible. We’ve known each other since we were kids. It would be weird if he hadn’t managed to read some of my gestures over the years. Is this the result of being friends for a long time? 

“N-Not really….” I said, trailing off.

He gave me the look ‘out with it already’ but I refrain myself from speaking my mind. Who knows what could happen if I accidentally blurted that out. But just as I’m trying to hold myself back, Ivan hangs his arm on my shoulders and moves closer.

“You know we’ve known each other for a long time now, right? There is no way I can’t tell if you’re troubled by something or not. If I really did, that would be insensitive of me. And I could’ve felt like I betrayed you or something. I know that you can read me like a book because you memorized my tendencies. I know you’d see me as someone awful if I don’t do something of the sort,” he told me, tapping my shoulder as if ushering me to speak my mind.

“Don’t take it like that. I know you know me well just as I know you. It’s just that it’s something beyond the line of confidentiality or something. I don’t know if something bad will happen or will I have to sacrifice our friendship just so that I can get the answer I need,” I told him.

He gave me a surprised look. I was not expecting him to look at me like that. He would usually slap my back and laugh, and tell me that I’m paranoid or something. But he didn’t. Instead, he wore a serious expression. Completely different from what he usually does.

“So you were thinking that deep, huh? That’s just like you, Ren. You’re considering the price before doing something or deciding on something. That’s good. That means you don’t want to sacrifice our friendship for something,”

He smiled for the first time. I nodded my head and couldn’t help agreeing with his statement.

“That’s why I can’t just tell you what I have in mind-”

“But if you won’t speak your mind, it will trouble you for the longest time. And if it troubles you and affects your studies, I’d be more troubled. Not knowing that I’m the reason who made my friend, who’s aiming for college, to lose focus on his studies. I’d hate that to happen, Ren.”

Dang. Ivan is reliable sometimes. He is always goofing around. But the moment he gets serious, he becomes cool just like today.

“So, with that said. Tell me what’s troubling you. I will do my best to give you an answer.” said Ivan.

Even though he told me to tell him what I have in mind. I still can’t bring myself to ask him. The cost would be far too great for me to risk my friendship. 

And just as I’m about to resolve myself to forget about ever asking him about what I want to know, I felt him clenching my shoulders tightly.

He wants to know what I want to ask. If he is looking forward to it that much, I have no choice but to ask him then.

I cleared my throat and looked at him sternly. Now that he has given me the right to ask, I will not back down and answer to his resolve.

“Are you sure I can tell you what’s bothering me?” I asked,

He simply nodded his head in response.

“If I ask you, will you answer me honestly?”

Again, he nodded his head. He didn’t need any words. He already said what he needed to tell me earlier. 

Then the words that'll come out of his mouth next will be his answer to my question. 

I can see it in his eyes. He is sure of what he is about to do.

“Almost a week ago….. I saw you talking to someone shady in the dead of the night. Can you tell me what’s that about?” I asked.

The atmosphere was cold and unnerving. As I look into his eyes,  I can already imagine him refusing to answer my question. This will inevitably result in the dissolution of our friendship for sure. I’m sure of it.

Before I put the final nails to end our friendship, I decided to take back what I asked and told him to forget about it. But to my surprise, he burst out in laughter.

He was so loud that our fellow students, who were walking alongside us, turned to our direction to see what happened that made him laugh so loudly.

“Hey, did you lose your mind or something? Stop laughing like that. You’re attracting too much attention here.” I spoke softly, like a whisper.

Meanwhile, he’s rubbing his eyes while trying to contain his laughter. 

Was there something funny about my inquiry? I don’t understand at all. No matter how I look at it, there was not a single part that’s funny.

“Dude, come on. You can’t blame me. Pfft! Ha! Ha! Ha! There’s no way I’d never laugh at what you just asked me!”

Now I feel awkward. Not only that he’s laughing at my face. If he’s laughing like this after hearing that means it doesn’t mean much. I somewhat feel like an idiot for being on the edge for a few days just to get laughed at.

I waited for Ivan to calm down before asking him about the details. It took him quite a while before he finally composed himself. And as soon as he calmed down, he flashed me a smile as if telling me that I was being an idiot for burdening myself with that matter.

“Stop making fun of me. I thought it was serious and I was just considering things. I can’t help but be concerned. You are my friend, after all. I cannot just sacrifice our friendship over something like that if I can avoid it, you know?” I told him.

He immediately tapped my shoulder and nodded his head repeatedly as if admiring me. But deep down, I know that he’s still laughing at me.

“Hah! That was a good laugh! This is why you need to consult with me first! To think you’ve been agonizing about it for a few days now. There are times that you act like a complete idiot, Ren. It seldom happens, but it happens.”

I knew it. He’ll make fun of me.

“Before you make fun of me more, can you explain what it was about? I can’t help but think about negative things when you’re secretly meeting with someone shady like that, you know?” I told him.

He understood my point and gave me a thumbs up.

“Very well. Since I need to clear this misunderstanding, I will explain what it was about.”

Ivan explained things to me as best as he could. I got the gist of everything before we reached our school.

“Sleeping pill, huh? That’s strange. Aren't there sleeping pills available at pharmacies? Why meet someone shady for a sleeping pill for uncle?” I asked,

“Well, ordinary sleeping pills wouldn’t work for my father. I just met the guy right after I walked out of a pharmacy to buy one. He told me it’s really effective, so I tried buying one when we met up that night,” explained Ivan.

“So? Did you manage to buy one?” I pried further.

Ivan shook his head slowly, “I got the money ready, but after seeing that it wasn’t in the form of a ‘pill’ I backed out. It was in liquid form. That’s false advertising so I called off the deal.” said Ivan.

“Liquid form…?”

My eyes then widened as I uttered those words. It reminded me of the keyword I heard from people who were talking about some kind of drug present in their investigation.

I immediately turned to Ivan and grabbed his arm at the same time.

“That drug… pill or whatever. Was it inside a vial or something?” 

Ivan caressed his chin like he has a beard or something. It took him a few minutes to remember and by that time, the school bell had already rang a few times. As if in perfect timing for the last ringing of the bell, he nodded his head.

“It was dark that night but I can’t be mistaken. It was inside a vial,” Ivan confirmed.