My Struggle: The Love Story of a CEO

My Legacy, my troubles

Jay's POV:

Being the heir to the BBK, managed by my father, Brian, has always been a nightmare to me. All my life, I've lived a fantasy. I can't really understand what I really want for myself. This is because I have to put dad's suggestions first before even thinking about my needs. If his suggestion means cancelling that need, so be it.

At times it seems like I'm a toy that he controls.

Right from highschool, I've faced this endless pressure from him. Always wanting me to be ready, training for a position I do not want. Yes, I don't need it. I can explore other suggestions and still be successful, after all, finance is never a problem. He just wouldn't get it.

Dad has trained me to be ready for the CEO position at the BBK. I can't leave it now, it's already too late.

I'm caught in a vortex of two colliding worlds, leaving me in its center to fight my way through.

I must say, being the chosen heir is a curse that I wish I could take away and also a blessing that I've always yearned for. Somehow, I want to be CEO, but another part of me says follow your dreams.

I don't know whether to do what I dreamed of doing when I was still a little boy or follow my dad's footsteps. I don't even know what I'm doing anymore. I have to live up to Brian's expectations and still struggle with my own self dreams that are slowly dying.

I used to dream of being an artist and I joined the art class in highschool. When dad heard about it, he was furious and immediately withdrew me from taking such classes. I was taken to the science department where he wanted me to be and I had to always struggle with the tough subjects that came with it. Many at times, I was struggling with low grades and I was always compared to Brian's success.

Mr Morris, our principal back then, would always scorn me and scold me to do better. He showed me all the tremendous successes dad was making in his business empire and reminded me that I would run that empire some day.

This was the constant reminder of my inadequacy in school back then.

After school years, here I am, working in his firm, under his endless pressure and sometimes, I wonder if I have the capacity to handle this position I've been groomed for all my life.

Regardless of all my educational attainments, Brian does not believe in me. He has forced me to go through several schools and workshop programs which I've tried my best to be the best. Despite all of these, when he gives me an assignment, he is forever impatient and reminds me constantly of how nonchalant I am. He feels that I think of the world as an ideal place where everything is just perfect. The most frustrating one is that he says I don't have the balls to play the political games that come with leadership.

Looking at my everyday life, I'm always monitored. Both by Brian and my so-called friends. For every step I take, for every decision I make, for everything I say, that's a 20 percent determiner of me being CEO.

I can't pour out my heart and real feelings to my friends. Some of them are now CEOs of their parents' empires or even their own, but here I am, struggling to prove my worth. The last time I tried to share my experience with one of my friends, I got a handful of insults. He categorically stated that I'm not doing my best simply because his dad would be handing over his company to him in a month.

Damn!!

Even fellow colleagues here look at me with this same perspective. They think I'm just a rich kid who thinks he would have everything served to him on a golden platter, forgetting that if I don't work for a wooden platter, I won't have it.

Yes, that's the type of father I have.

But well, it's high time I prove them wrong. I'll not just become CEO, but I'll become a man of my own. I am Jay and I won't allow this humiliation to continue.

I sat alone in my office, a wave of apprehension washed over me. I was going through one of my old projects that I had been working on and I stumbled on something I felt was innovative.

"If they would use this strategy, this would change our company for good and take us to the next step." I said, a weak smile tugged on the corners of my lips.

A new spirit of optimism washed over me and with this new found strength, my body was electric. It took out that pessimism that had been brewing in my stomach and put a smile on my face.

Driven by the burning fire I had found, I stormed out to go show it to some senior executives, at least hoping to see what they'll say about it.

I arranged for a small meeting and in no time, we were all gathered together.

"Sorry for calling you out on short notice, I just wanted to share with you guys something I just found." I paused, examining their faces. "I believe it would change our company for good."

They looked at me with skeptical faces and grinned. They dared not murmur, they knew one report to dad and they're all gone. I was used to this behavior, they feel it's just one of those his usual and annoying proposals that would still end up in the trash.

In spite of this, I opened up the file and showed them what I was working on, taking my time to explain everything carefully to them.

For the very first time, they smiled and were kind of happy.

I did not need anything more from them. Just that warm reassuring smile fueled me. I felt like an engine driven with the best fuel and was enjoying the smoothness of the road, not until my mind reminded me again of Brian's cold resentments.

I came to a sudden halt and that smile disappeared. Now these ones may have accepted it, but what about Brian?

Even if this project was to go any further, Brian would have to approve it. Oh God, I don't even know what he'll say.

Is he going to feel like it's a step in the right direction or just dismiss as usual, saying it's a failed project and scold me for coming up with something so stupid.

How would I even muster the courage to stand before him and present this to him? I can't look him in the eye and be proud to say; dad, look at my proposal.

He'll just laugh at me to scorn after he has gone through it and for sure, dismiss it as usual.

Pondering on these thoughts, I heard my phone ring.

"Speak of the devil." I muttered.

It was Brian. My heart skipped a beat. My mind sank in fear, my eyes drooped.

What did he want this time?

I hurriedly answered the call.

"Good morning dad." I greeted.

"I need you in my office now!" He said, his voice firmly piercing into my heart and left me frozen.

"On my way…"

He dropped the call even before I finished talking.

I wonder what he'll say this time. Is he going to tell me that I'm good enough for CEO or he'll just remind me again of my I adequacies?

My heart left pounding in fear as I excused myself and walked out the door to go see dad. My face etched with weary and my eyes narrowing into the distance looking at my uncertain fate ahead.

My body was shivering and I tried to remain calm and just walked gently, my face down so no one would easily notice my fears.

I don't know if this is going to finally be the moment of redemption I've been looking for or another load of disappointment.

This fear is tearing me apart and my mind is left to spurn with thoughts.

I can't ignore his high expectations anymore, I really need to do something about it.

The weight of legacy is heavy on my shoulders, threatening to wear me down.