My Struggle: The Love Story of a CEO

Doubts and tests

Jay's POV:

I walked briskly, my heart pounding inside my chest and u arrived at my father's office; the nurturing and crushing ground of my dreams.

The glassy wall was well designed with golden artifacts tinted on it. The sleek executive comfy chairs round on his table and the ceramic desk, full of documents, always served as a reminder to the success he had built over the years.

Whenever I walk into this office, I feel like a visitor, regardless of the fact that it's actually my inheritance. I don't know if I really have a place in this empire because it is a huge contrast to my long lost dream.

"Welcome boy." He greeted me heartily, "come-on, have a seat." He offered.

"Thank you." I replied warmly, his gaze fixed on me.

The air is filled with tension as my baffled heart gives me unrest. My mind was pounding and I was unsure of what he was about to say. My legs trembled but I tried to hide it and feigned a weak smile at him.

As usual, he was silent, keenly observing me and x-raying my weakness so he'll rain them on me. The usual skeptical face and the cold look was present and reminded me that the clock was ticking; I have to prove myself worthy.

"Jay my boy." He began, throwing me off balance as I jerked my head sharply to his direction. A smile tugged across the corners of his lips and he ignored me and proceeded with his speech. "I must say, you are an exceptional and excellent man, with great strength and vigour." He smiled. "I admire you and I love you."

This was the usual pattern, beginning with praise then chip in the other part of the story; the "B U T" part.

"But however my boy, there are still some things you need to work on to prove me wrong."

This was it, the main part of the story.

"I've been observing you, the way you work with your colleagues, your friends and the rest." He paused, allowing his words to sink deep. "You lack vision." He said firmly, his voice heavy with affirmation. "You show immaturity when it comes to handling leadership positions. You are scared to step on toes. You are not ready to face them head on. You are not ready to play the political games that come with leadership."

All these words did not come as a surprise to me, but at least it was an improvement from the last evaluation. This time, they went straight to my heart and pierced it hard, leaving scars all over it.

The bleeding pain of those scars was hard to bear but I struggled to maintain my composure. I pondered on each word and it was a slap to my self worth.

I really don't know what to do again. I've tried my best but whenever he reevaluated me, it feels like a fresh wound all together.

His words are like sharp edge swords that always break my shields and injure me, leaving me defenseless.

"Jay I'm not sure if you have the ability to cope with being CEO. Being the CEO means you'll have to make very tough decisions and work under pressure from both friends and family. You must be able to hold the reins of your company and wield power well among its stakeholders so you can earn maximum respect. You must not be soft, if not you'll lose your authority and won't be able to control your employees." He paused, examining my weary face. "Jay my boy, despite how hard I've trained you all these years, you don't seem to pass this test."

I buried my head in shame as cold shivers ran down my spine. So all these damn years of hard work, all my sleepless nights trying to prove a point are all in vain? All the impossible projects I undertook, hoping to impress Brian? What have I done to deserve all these?

So all my efforts seem meaningless to him?

All these years I've been trying to impress someone that gives less value to hardwork and I've failed to ask myself if I really want to even be CEO of BBK? What have I done to myself?

So being CEO would mean forever living in the shadows of a heartless father? Is this really what he wants? This had never been what I wanted!

I dream of being a man of my own, a man that can boldly look back and see his hardwork and an empire to prove it.

A wave of apprehension washed over me, my heart sank and my face etched with weary.

I failed to realize that I can never be that man I dream to be if I don't even have my father's support. If I can't prove to him that I'm a man, then such dreams won't have a chance.

Damn it!!!!

Finally, the beast raised his heads for another round of torture.

"Jay, I must tell you, you don't have the capacity to be CEO." He said, his voice firm and piercing. "You don't have the strength, neither do you have the courage to lead this company forward."

My face tightened and I clenched my jaw in frustration. Those words were like thousands of nails piercing into my skin.

"However, I'll give you one more chance. If you want to be CEO of BBK, you will have to prove yourself. You know I can't give you any automatic promotion because you're my son, you will work for it. You must pass through a series of difficult tests that will test your decision making and leadership skills." He paused a little, allowing those words to sink into my head.

"Failure to pass the test means you'll lose being CEO."

I felt a surge of adrenaline rush coursed through my nerves as the cold breeze of his brutal words whooshed in my face.

How dare he insult my ability? Why should he always doubt me, his own son? It's so annoying that I can't do anything and I can't back down now, it's already too late.

After all my suffering, I'll just give up because of his silly and mean words, never!!

It won't happen!

"Jay, you must remember that it's not about your business knowledge and the rest, it's your ability to do what needs to be done, when it needs to. It's all about being able to make difficult decisions without hesitation and being able to command respect amongst your subordinates." He smirked. "Prepare for the worst my boy." He concluded, a smile tugged across the corners of his lips.

The devil had spoken. Now I wonder what he's up to? What is he even planning to do this time? How will I ever be able to prove my worth to this man? I don't even have a clue to the brutality of his test this time, how does he expect me to pass it?

I can't keep on failing him. It's high time I mustered the courage I need to pass whatever thing he's cooked up for me. I'll swiftly pass it and prove him wrong.

He's a bitch!

I feel my heart burning like a fiery furnace, spreading its flame throughout my entire body and lit my anger beyond boundaries. It felt like wolf animals had been let loose and were about to devour its prey.

A part felt like I needed to grab his neck and strangle him until he pleads for mercy and asks for forgiveness for those harsh words, but another reminds me that this might also be part of the test. Regardless of how impossible this might seem, I'll definitely prove to Brian that I'll come out victorious and even better than he could ever imagine.

I know it could be very tasking, but I'll try to do my best. Yes, I'm not sure if I'm ready to face the ruthlessness of the corporate world or did what it takes to inherit this company, but I'll just do my best.

He has left me a challenge, one that I must pass. I feel a strong sense of determination burning in my heart, a fuel that motivates me to be better, a wind of change oozing in my face and brain recalibrated.

I stood up shamefully to leave his office when I felt his skin brushing against mine. His hand valsped ok my shoulder like a vice, one that was strongly tightened.

"The task will be more than you bargained for boy, are you truly ready?" He whispered, my heart sank into my belly.