My Struggle: The Love Story of a CEO

Determined to be worthy

Jay's POV:

I left his office with my heart, heavy like a huge log, filled with sorrows and regrets. The sting of his words still pierced deep into my shattered heart and crumpled my face.

"How do I even prove to him when I don't even know what he's up to?" I muttered, my voice heavy with pain. "What is left to prove if he does not even believe in me?"

I wonder when I'll ever be worthy of Brian's expectations and finally stand tall with him, my shoulders high as a worthy son and CEO of BBK. Being the son of a CEO was never a crime, why does mine feel like such?

This whole thing sucks!!

Back in my car, a wave of emotions washed over me. My heart burned with disgust and my mind was clouded with pain. My life was a sheer piece of misfortune, one that I created with my very own hands and I can't run away from it now.

However, I don't have time, I need to prove to this bitch that I'm better than what he thinks. I'll show him that I'm man enough to be CEO, after all most of my friends that I'm much better than are now CEOs, then what stops me from being one?

I know that I've spent my whole life learning the usual pattern of the company and the rest, maybe it's high time I show everyone and Brian most importantly that I'm ready.

I can't just back down and hide in my shell of frustration, I'll surely fight for what's truly mine. How dare he doubt me? I deserve it better because I've worked my ass hard for it! I can't let it slip off my fingers simply because of some silly tests.

Come on Jay, you're better than this.

I planned to go back home, but my thoughts were too heavy and I dashed out of my car and stormed to my office, prepared to do something meaningful.

I felt a wildfire burning in my chest, escalating like a whirlwind in the middle of an empty desert and shaking my entire soul.

I can't do this alone, I'll need some help.

Immediately, I assembled a team of my most trusted friends and colleagues in my office, nervously waiting to unveil what I've been cooking in my mind.

They know how hard I've been trying to myself to Brian, most especially Chloe.

She has been the most supportive and best friend I've ever had. Right from highschool days, she was the only one that understood the tension and politics that played back at my house. She understood the internal conflict I faced back then and remained ever supportive to me since then.

Lucky for her, she secured a spot at the company and here we are again.

"So thank you all for coming here. I really appreciate it." I smiled.

They smiled cheerfully at me and Chloe winked at me.

"I called you guys here because I want to share something with you guys." I paused, examining their anxious faces. "I want to suggest that we begin an intensive advertisement for the BBK. I want us to make BBk gain international recognition. That has been Brian's dream all these years and I feel it's worth achieving." I concluded, allowing the words to sink in their chests.

I know this is not a very easy task. It would mean pushing some big shots out of business and lots of power struggle, but if I must prove anything to, I must think out of the box. Every decision I make must be carefully calculated and well planned so I'll be on a safe side from opposition and also get the respect I deserve from Brian. I need to show him my intelligence and ability to manage tension and also make tough decisions.

This is the biggest assignment I've ever thought of in a decade.

"But Jay," Chloe called, her face glittering like an emerald. "Do you know that embarking on this would mean playing with fire." She warned. "It's a good idea, we welcome it but, think it through before proceeding." She begged.

Once again, the weight of responsibility pressed down hard on my shoulders again. Every idea I think of is a gamble, one that even threatens my life, but failing would cost me the CEO position. I don't even know what I'm doing anymore.

I find it difficult to think straight. What have I done!!!!

Looking at it, this is the real test I've set for myself and I'm even scared to go ahead with it. How about what Brian will set for me?

Maybe what he said about me was true. I don't have the balls to make such decisions and live with it.

Carefully x-raying the whole thing, it seems he was right, but I have to prove him wrong. I can't allow fear to set in now, never! I need to push that fear eating me inside and stand strong. Proving myself to Brian requires more than just crazy ambitions and proposals, it needs results, results that I don't know if I can produce.

My head pounded in pain and my heart raced in fear as my mind spurned with these thoughts. I was shivering and I struggled to even hide my weary face. My eyes were heavy and a shower of tears was warming up to pour.

Regardless of this whole back and forth, I'll have to arrange a meeting with the board. That's the next step to decide my fate if this whole thing will even go any further.

Once again, Chloe spoke. "Brian, I know.how you feel inside. If you really feel we need to do this, then so be it." She said, her voice comforting like an angel.

I raised my head in shock and turned to all of them and they all nodded in agreement.

"Thank you very much guys, you can't imagine how I appreciate this."

"Don't worry, we got your back." They chorused.

My heart raced for joy. The warm smile of a newborn filled my face and hid my worries. Step one passed!

Convincing the board is the key to silencing Brian's doubts but not winning his trust. They're the stepping stone to my success at the BBK. Right now, I've been able to convince my team to work with me, next is to convince the board to believe in me.

"Thank you guys once again." I appreciated, almost kneeling. My entire body was softened like silk and I could even beg for mercy from anyone at this moment.

"Come-on man, we got you." Jake chuckled. "Always." Chloe winked. Jake was my childhood friend and we went to preschool together. How dad passed away a year ago, leaving him with his fortune to manage. He's actually a shareholder here at the BBK and my closest male confidante.

I shook hands with them all and they left cheering me.

I began to prepare my presentation. I racked my brain, emptying every dumpster I could find just to get ideas. For this presentation to go any further, it must not be a series of grand ideas, but a solid strategy that the board cannot reject.

The board itself is another group of skeptics like Brian that have thrown away their trust long ago. Most of them have worked with Brian for years and some are even owners of companies of their own, so gaining their approval seemed like a walking hell.

Well, Jay on the other hand is also a determined smart man like them that has spent his life studying extensively for this golden moment. I cannot throw it all away for some silly fears or stuff like that, I'll remind them that I'm a man of steel.

After carefully outlining the project and getting my speech ready, I finally stood up, straightened my suit jacket, looked at myself in the mirror and let out a deep breath.

"You can do it." I muttered and headed straight to the board room. A meeting was already in session and lucky for me, Brian was absent. All I had to do was wait outside until they were through with their topic. After nervously waiting and sweating already, I was called in.

The moment I stepped my feet in there, the cold air oozed past me and sent cold shivers running down my spine. The room is surrounded with executives from various companies with countless proposals, waiting to be heard. The cold stares from the board members made my heart skip a beat. This was the turning point.

I stood at the head of the table, breathing heavily and shivering softly with their eyes fixed on me, waiting for me to speak.

After much thought, I finally spoke up.

"Thank you all for giving me the chance to pitch my proposal." I greeted, dousing the tension. "Without wasting time, I've come here today with a suggestion that I feel is worthy. I propose that we take BBK global." I said, they exchanged skeptical glances and murmurs. "Yes, I know it sounds impossible but I have carefully laid out plans on how we'll go about it…"

As I dived deeper into the contents of the proposal, they listened attentively and never let their eyes off me. At some point, they'll exchange skeptical glances at each other and whisper in their ears; a constant reminder of their disappointment.

I just knew that they acted as if they were really enjoying the whole thing and buying it, but deep down, they were waiting for the moment I'll make a mistake, the moment I show weakness again.

Regardless of my fears, I continued swiftly, revealing everything I had cooked up for them. I was enjoying my flow, new ideas kept on popping in my head and I continued to throw them out to them. At some point, they'll nod in approval, relieving me of some fear. I was more at ease now. The burning passion I've always had for the company was evident and radiated in the room. My voice commanded respect and spread out the sincerity of my ambitions.

Yes, my confidence was increasing, but that feeling of being scrutinized with those big magnifying glasses they wore on their eyes never disappeared. I've been here before so I know how things are done here. I'll just go on with my stuff with all confidence and not mind them.

Finally, after my long speech, I concluded and appreciated them warmly.

"... Thank you all for listening and I strongly believe that if these strategies are put in place, we'll gain the recognition we crave for." Sincerely speaking, if it was an audience, I would have been commended with a thunderous roar of clapping and cheers, but here, the reactions were different.

The room was filled with silence as they raised their spectacles up and down, keenly observing my stance and the whole thing they had jotted down.

My heart raced with fear. My whole body was shivering but I hid it and clasped my hand to the table and smiled sheepishly at them.

I know.that the next few moments would decide my fate. It's either going to be a yes, we accept your proposal and see it viable or no, we don't see the possibility of the success of these suggestions.

From the look of things, I can't tell their reply but I felt that the reaction they gave me would yield a positive response.

In the absence of Brian, the acting board chairman, My Brown, the managing director and a senior shareholder at the BBK stood up and cleared his throat. He was silent for some time and created suspense. The tension was heavy in the air and I was freaking out.

"Jay…"

The moment of truth was interrupted by the buzzing of my phone. I jerked my body sharply and almost urinated on my pants as I struggled to bring out my phone.

Lo and behold, it was Brian. I clenched my jaw in anger and humiliation and begged that I should take the call.

After excusing myself, I went outside the room and held the phone in my hand for some time before answering the call.

"What did he want now?_

As usual, his voice is mean and intimidating. "I hope you're not wasting their time again." He scorned. "You better prove yourself this time, you know the stakes." He smirked. "Remember, after them, you'll have to go through me." He mocked and dropped the call.

A cold sense of dread and fear filled my soul. I was even scared now to even go back inside that room to hear their reply.

Brian's words kept on ringing in my ears as I managed to get back to the boardroom, unsure of what they would say to me.

Will my proposal be able to secure my future or it would be another wasted effort and the grave to my dreams?