My Struggle: The Love Story of a CEO

The bitter reality

Jay's POV

You know after last night's altercation with Brian, I decided to teach him and his little brat a lesson. We'll be having a board meeting and I spent my time last night working on a major deal I strongly believe will change his mind. It will prove to him that I'm capable of leading the BBK.

But damn, I'm tired. I yawned loudly, my eyes heavy with sleep. I sold it at work last night. Just look at the way everywhere is littered with papers. Well, it's not a problem, the problem at hand remains unsolved, gaining Brian and the board to my side.

Just imagine last night. The kind of pressure he's mounting on me. What kind of man is he that does not seem to appreciate hard work? All my efforts, all my ideas, all my input, every attempt I've made to prove him wrong only falls short in his eyes.

I know I'm good, but the way he treats me makes me unsure of it.

I can't help but wonder if I will ever be able to earn Brian's trust or if I'm just destined to fail.

I just believe that today, all those things are gonna change. After I dropped the call with Brian, I managed to secure a deal with one of the BBK's investors, Mr. Damian.

I suggested to him one of my proposals and to my surprise, accepted it and offered me a deal. Now I'm sure I have what it takes to prove to Brian that I'm worth it. I've had enough. It's my time to shine. It's high time I prove to Brian and the board that I'm good enough.

Let me even call him again so we can finalize some things before the meeting. I also need to call some other people too.

"Good morning sir. I believe you read everything in the document I sent to you last night?" I asked.

"Yeah, sure. It's absolutely amazing. We'll meet today and discuss more about it."

"Sure."

"Yes!" I screamed in joy. Now one's down. I called a few others and also confirmed certain things just to make sure the ground was leveled for the meeting.

Now since everything is set, I know I'm gonna nail it. Jay, don't be scared. You're gonna win today.

Finally, a time to prove my worth, a time when my efforts will be rewarded.

But on a second thought, I need to level the playing field. This would also mean having a little chat with Brian.

Immediately, I headed straight to his office, full of confidence and charged with determination.

Lucky for me, he was in his office.

The aim of coming here is to discuss the deal with him and cement my hope.

"Good morning boy." He greeted, he was just a cunny prick and used those things as tactics to deceive his prey. "What brought you so early to my office?" He asked as if he didn't know about the deal.

He did not even bother to talk about what happened last night, he just hides in his annoying behavior and dives into today's issue. Since he didn't bring it up, we'll let the sleeping dog lay.

"I know you must have heard of my deal with Damian?" I asked, my eyes locked on to him.

"Of course I have. Is there anything that happens here without my knowledge boy?" He chuckled.

I was not in for those fake pleasantries. I'm here for business today.

"Okay, what do you think?"

He looked at me for a while, hesitant to release his answer. After a few seconds, he smiled at me and finally delivered his devilish concoction of stupidity and hate.

"Jay," he started. "I've always told you to think big. Look at the bigger picture. How could you forget that? Do you want to disgrace us in front of a potential investor?" He scolded. I froze.

"No offense, but that proposal was a total piece of trash. That alone can disqualify us from gaining his approval. Or did you not put that into consideration?" He queried.

I wonder the way he thinks. Talking about the bigger picture, the client has already accepted my proposal and he's still busy looking at very irrelevant and minute details just to make me feel less.

"But dad…"

"You may take your leave now. Let's see what the investors think. I believe they're her already and the meeting should begin right away." He snapped.

All the energy in me vanished. I was as empty as a flat tire. The whole passion, the whole confidence, the whole determination just vanished in a twinkling of the eyes.

This is just proof that no matter how hard I try to prove to him, he just wouldn't give me his approval.

I stood up in shame and headed straight away to the board room, my head downcast in shame.

You know, the meeting began in earnest. Everyone was seated including Brian and I started with my proposal. I spoke with confidence and professionalism, hoping to impress them. Everything was just going smoothly until that devilish creature entered.

The room turned around in her favor and all eyes were on her as if she was some goddess or something.

Brian immediately stood to his feet to address them. His baby girl is here now, she must be recognized.

"Sorry to cut you short Mr Jay, but please, may I seize this moment to introduce to you, Vanessa Ellis, the future of the BBK." Those words were more than painful. They were even clapping for her.

"I must say, she's a key player here and has been making significant waves and bagging lots of contracts here." He chuckled and winked at me.

"I'm so sorry I'm late. I was jammed in the traffic." She apologized.

"Don't worry. Get seated." Brian ushered.

I was boiling with anger. I clenched my jaw in fury and looked at the both of them with wrath. If I could just strangle the both of them right here, I'd be the happiest person in the world right now. Fuck!

They continued with their murmuring, increasing my anger the more. I did not want to do anything silly, I just decided to remain calm. It was getting out of hand, I cleared my throat loudly.

They all turned to me in remorse.

"Sorry about that, you can go on." Brian said, his voice cold as ever.

I continued, but not as passionate as before. I was just taking my words slowly, allowing each word to sink deep into their minds. I was actually gaining their attention once more. They were nodding in response and answering me well until Vanessa stood up to destroy the moment.

"Sorry Mr Jay, but I have a few questions." Brian's face changed to a mocking smile.

"This proposal of yours… Well, I must say, it's quite interesting but there are a few things I want to point out. First of all, in the long run, this project is not viable. Here at the BBK, we value projects that bring in more money rather than take more money from us. Looking at the financial status of the company for now, it's clear that if we embark on this project, we'll fizzle out in the long run." She paused, her eyes prying into my mind and observing the board members.

God, they were buying it. Those words were like arrows of pain. They were just released to destroy me.

"Finally, this is a marketing project, set up to push the company forward and promote her products. You failed to include how well it's gonna bring back income to the company. Please, to all of us seated here, we know that the BBK needs someone with a stronger vision that will lead us through better deals. However, it's a nice proposal, but that's my take on it as an experienced person in this business." She concluded with a sheepish smile and to my surprise, they all turned to her with smiles and clapped.

Fuck!!!

I was completely frustrated and speechless. She has killed me. I did not need anyone to tell me anything, I quietly and shamefully took my seat.

I turned to her in anger, she just smiled at me and looked away with a huff.

Just with that suggestion, my hard work was dismissed, just like that.

I sat there in that meeting, watching their faces and buried my head in shame when I could no longer take it.

I wonder if I'm even capable of leading. Look at the countless loopholes she pointed out, how could I not have seen it? How can a man that claims to be a leader not be able to draft a good plan? How!?

In my pain I cried silently, waiting for the meeting to come to an end. Immediately the last agenda was discussed, and the meeting closed, I dashed out in search of my investors.

Some of them were nowhere to be found. Somehow, I still managed to get a glimpse of Mr. Damian, but I saw him standing with Vanessa. I was furious, but couldn't do anything. I just had to wait till they were done and ran after him.

"Mr Damian! Mr Damian!!" I called.

He slowly turned his back and saw me and still continued to his limo. I still did not stop. I pursued and finally got to him.

"Sir, please can we talk?" I begged.

"Son, don't worry. I'll call you when I need you. Maybe some other time." He replied coldly and drove away.

I've lost it. It's all gone.

I stood there wondering about the whole issue. Vanessa's comment continued to replay in my head. I wonder if I'll ever be able to live up to Brian's expectations.

Now I'm confused if I'm really cut out for this whole CEO thing or I'm just an heir with no real responsibilities to back it up.

The soft breeze that blew in my face dazed me. My thoughts endlessly flogged me and I struggled to hold back my tears.

I've failed. I'm useless.

How can I be living this kind of life? A life of pain and failure. My self worth is tied to Brian's approval. If I don't get it, no matter how hard I try, I'll still fail.

Today was even worse. Called incompetent in front of the investors. I've been constantly fighting to prove myself, but it always ends up like this. My efforts crushed in my face.

It's better I stop trying. I'm not good. I don't belong here. It's better I just shift and leave it for capable hands like Vanessa. How stupid of me to draft such a proposal without thinking it thoroughly. She should just take over.

Let me just go meet Brian. Maybe he might be of help to me. I don't even know if I really need help. Let's just talk about what happened today.

He was busy with others and so I had to wait for him to finish. After hours of standing and not being noticed, he finally stepped on me.

"Oh Jay. I never knew you were standing there. So sorry." He smiled.

"Can we talk about what happened?"

"Sure, but you and I know there's really nothing to talk about. Just work harder." He replied coldly. "You can see what I told you earlier has just played out. This deal was a missed opportunity for us. It's your fault. You need to do better." He said, his voice piercing into my heart and shattering it to pieces and thereafter, he left me to deal with my shit.

As far as I'm concerned, there's practically nothing I'd do that's gonna be good enough for him. That's my gate to bear. It's my curse.

I will never get the recognition I deserve. My chest is heavier than my entire body. My heart is weighing the most and threatening to force its way out with its heavy bangs inside there.

Fuck!!!!!!

If I continue standing here, I'll eventually break down in tears. I walked away from the scene and acted as if nothing happened, only to find Vanessa in the hallway. I felt like killing her, but I just couldn't.

She just leaned by the wall smiling mockingly at me. I stopped for a while, unable to speak a word to her and finally departed.

"Better luck next time, Jay." She scorned and laughed softly.

Those words stung me hard. They pushed my frustration to its peak and I was left with no choice but to walk away.

How will I deal with this Vanessa issue?