Chapter: 2

Clearance:

Ever since I experienced that birthday surprise from father, things had changed. My brothers were giving me these weird looks all the time. Maybe it was jealousy or something else...

The ghost of my true identity was still haunting me. I didn't know what make of it, maybe there was something I was missing? I knew that from the time I was a kid life was different for me. I felt so much void and not enough support. Growing up in house that had boys, only, it was weird.

I didn't know my mother. I saw my neighbors having female figures, but mine was missing and no one even dared to explain to me why?

Well...except for Simon, who kinder spilled that I was a bastard. I didn't understand why or how? But I was determined to figure it out, one way or another. Even if I was, why didn't I know anything about her?

No one gave me a direct meaning of what it all meant, even our father did not speak the words that I could understand. I wanted to ask but my relationship with our father was weird. I never really knew him, even though he lived in the same house as me. Abraham was the only person who was more responsible for house chores and our well-being. To me, Abraham was the only person that I saw as a parent figure because of how responsible he was.

I had woken up the following morning, after my birthday and I was looking for my brothers to see what they were doing?

"He's not even our bother, his mother killed our mother! How is it fair that they made him a birthday and non of us experienced it?" Simon was saying, he was talking with our neighbor's kids.

From that statement alone, I felt my blood running cold and my anxiety heightening.

"I hate both, him and his mother! Now we have to play happy family with a bastard?! We have a weird man as a father, I tell you. He drove my mother insane from the first bastard that he had. Luckily he died Seven years ago, it was after we learned that there was another bastard on the way."

"That new bastard is Clearance?!" One kid asked.

"Who else has a different surname in this house?" Simon spewed words of sarcasm, not even once taming his words. It was the truth about me, finally I had known who I was, but that truth had hurt me more than I thought it would. It was soul shattering, that's why my eyes were coated with salty water. I didn't intend witness them pouring, it was forbidden to cry in our home. If my father saw these tears, he was going to scold me like he scolded Simon, the other day. I wiped them vigorously, not wanting any evidence to be seen.

"I remember that boy, it's the one who was weird? He didn't look like a boy though, he looked like a girl. How did he die?" Another person asked.

"They say it was Ezra's doing, she was punishing my father for destroying their wedding vows. One time dad came home with a pregnant bitch and he asked our mother if he could take her as second wife? Ezra cursed her, she told her that her seed was going to be a spectacle. He was going to be a joke everywhere he went. When Ganuku was born he had both the lady parts and a male part. It was so embarrassing bathing in front of that freak!" Simon said, spewing venom. It was pouring like a fountain from the river site.

In that moment I could not hold it in any longer, the tears, they were pouring like a rain.

"How did he die?" Another person asked again.

"A pot of cooking oil fell on top of him, that's why his bitch of a mother blamed my mother for killing her son or daughter. Then that bitch Vivienne stabbed our mother to death. She's now rotting in jail and she left us to raise her little bastard for her. Life is such a bitch!" He clicked his tongue loudly," I will feed it termites, I tell you." He finished. In that moment depression became like my best friend. I was walking away mindlessly not even caring where I was going, my soul was shattered from just spoken words.

"Where are you going?" Abraham asked, but in that moment my soul was aching so hard, I was emotionally paralyzed. I didn't even think I was was going to survive that moment, my heart had stopped beating, time had stopped running and I was facing my worst fears, the ghost that has been haunting me all along, the ghost of my identity has revealed itself to me.

I threw myself on the floor and I weeped. I felt like I was losing my mind. Abraham picked me up in that moment and took me back to the house.

After an hour of crying, I felt myself calming down. Abraham was looking at me with pitty written on his eyes. "Why were you crying?" He continued to pry.

"Simon is talking about my mother, he said she stabbed his mother." I looked at him with curiosity. Abraham seemed timid to pry further. I was then used to that stoic look, that they all seemed to share, especially when it concerned my mother.

"Tell me, is it true?" I asked bluntly.

"Well, w-we don't, we don't talk about it." He was stammering and aborting the situation all together. "Tomorrow we should go to the park and take our minds off things and please don't tell dad about this, he will be very upset. You saw how he was yesterday?" He asked and I nodded my head.

"You and Simon are my youngest brothers, you have to get along. Don't worry about all the stupid stuff that he is saying, he's just ignorant." He finished.

"Okay, but tell me about Ganuku? Who was he?" I asked.

Abraham gasped, he avoided me all together and he went outside the house. Leaving me in perplexity.