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2021-04-21 13:23:36It's been nearly a week since I killed Mr J Cooper. Every morning I have been to a different paper shop and bought the local rag. Today was the first day he made an appearance. It wasn't a big article just a small section asking for information on a missing man. His name was John Cooper and was last seen on Friday night by his wife before he had gone out to the pub. He didn't make it to the pub and no one saw him. My heart jumped into my mouth when my eyes first landed on the little segment but soon settled down. If the police had any information they would have been knocking on my door by now and the article said he was missing. They weren't looking for a body they hadn't found a body and a man just disappeared into the night.
I read this in the canteen and felt the world lift off my chest. The feeling was amazing and I could feel a smile on my face. It must have looked strange to everyone else in the room as they all looked at me like I had just told them all to go fuck them
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Nothing Wrong 21
I had kept the number plates from the car that matched mine under next doors shed. It was right up to the fence that separated the gardens. There was an inch gap under the fence that meant I could slide them in and out and stay out of sight. My nerves were on edge at the thought of them being seen and if the police came knocking them being found. I can't believe that up until this point I was seriously considering using them again. That's one way of being linked to each murder for a start. It's almost like shooting a load of people with the same gun and then trying to deny it. Tonight I will go out and get them then destroy them. Fingers crossed I'm still under the radar.It has been two months since I killed John Cooper and my fantasies were coming back. My mind was getting more violent and blood was playing a big part in my daydreaming. It seemed as though I was board with suffocating people now and it was time to try something new.I was just driving down the ro
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22Louise was sat on my sofa giving the baby a bottle of milk. I guess I should find out its name I can’t or shouldn’t keep calling it the baby. For now, I will as I’m in the kitchen cooking a roast dinner. Beef is my pea personal favourite and it goes best with Yorkshire puddings. This girl had been through a tough time she got pregnant at seventeen and was promptly kicked out by her mum and dad. The man that helped create the child was a waste of space and refused to acknowledge that he was the father. Subsequently, he refused to help her and called her a slag that had been sleeping around. She had a job until the pregnancy got too much for her and she had to quit it wasn’t a great job she worked in a clothing shop but it meant she was on her feet all day. As I pulled the Yorkshires out to finish dishing up I called into Louise.“Do you want gravy poured on or do you want to do your own?”“You do it. Thank you.”<
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23The washing machine was working fine but I was having trouble leading it. Louise had left her clothes outside the bathroom door like I had asked her to. The problem that there now was in her underwear. I hadn't realised that she had wrapped them up in her clothes so was this right for me to be handling them. They needed a wash that was for certain but she doesn't know me or vice versa. It seemed a little bit personal and a bit too familiar for me to do this. No, it's fine she wouldn't have left them for me to wash if it was a problem for her. I picked them up and tossed them in with the rest of the clothes and sat down with a fag. This is going to mess with my free time maybe she won't stay long and my life. With my eyes closed, I thought about John Cooper. This was the first time it occurred to me that his final thoughts will forever be a mystery to me. Did he think about his family and friends or were his thoughts solely on what was happening to him? My tho
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24Don’t get me wrong I liked Adam and Louise but they were everywhere I went. I went to work she walked down to meet me when I finished. I get back from the shop they are in my house. They have nowhere else to go and yes I took them in but I have been on my own forever. My mum topped herself on my sixteenth birthday just short of a year after my dad died of a heart attack. Friends are none existent so I’m happy with what I had now. Not many people are mortgage-free by twenty-one. What the fuck was I thinking promising myself that I wouldn’t let anyone hurt them. Breaking a promise to yourself is the worst thing you can do to yourself. Once a promise was broken that makes you a liar. If you can’t be honest with yourself how can you look yourself in the eye when looking in the mirror.I took what was a well-deserved break from my guests to have a look around for a new plaything. I made up my mind that I was going to the coast for a couple of nights to make a good solid pl
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25I pulled up nice and easy no screeching breaks or loud noises. The person on the bench didn’t even move not a flinch of the head or anything. I was on full alert looking all around and listening for any sounds out of the ordinary. Nothing unusual and no one insight no blue lights or sirens in the distance. Casually I walked along and sat down on the bench on the opposite side to this sad-looking man.“Nice night,” I say it but don’t expect the reaction I get.“Jesus Christ. What are you doing creeping upon folk like that?”“ Sorry about that I was just out for a drive and felt like stopping to admire the view.”“The view oh yes I guess it is a good one.”“I hope you don’t mind me saying you seem a little bit distracted.”“Look I’m having a bad time and just came here for a little quiet time. So if you don’t mind.”This was l
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26It was early in the morning now and Tim was in my mind. I had driven straight back after pushing Tim. When he was falling he looked a little bit like Hans Gruber from the die-hard film. The part where he was tossed off the roof of a skyscraper. That film will never be the same for me again. Forevermore it will bring back the face of a sad man I met on a bench who plummeted to his death.My drive home was excellent no traffic at all to speak of and I made good time. Louise was obviously not expecting me home because I had told her not to. When I unlocked the door to my house my eyes nearly popped out. Louise was having a one-woman party. She was playing my tapes in the hi-fi and dancing around in one of my shirts with a glimpse of her knickers every now and again when she moved. The song that was playing was psycho killer by talking heads it amused me that it was kind I appropriate apart from the psych part.“Hi morning Loubuy Lou.”I kept back by now I had
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27Apparently, my conversation with Louise hadn’t gone too well she hasn’t spoken to me for two days. Today is the day have to work. I have to make a move towards management or find somewhere new. Somewhere with prospects.I was doing a job that bored the shit out of me called beaming off. In weaving, there is a weft and a warp. The warp is the yarn that goes horizontally and the weft goes from left to right. Or as the weaver’s joke, it goes from weft to wight. Beaming off is taking the warp off one machine and taking it to the loom. Once it is set up you just wait for it to finish. As I was doing this I watched a warper called John working on his machine. I dreamed of him getting his hand caught under the yarn. It lifting him off his feet and spinning around the balloon. That’s a big barrel that the warp goes around at high speed. He was ripped around and around at high speed slamming into the machine ripping him limb from limb. Blood sprayed e
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28Louise had only been gone for about five minutes but the screaming baby made it feel like a lot longer. As soon as she walked in he saw her and stopped. The relief was bliss. I handed him over to Lou and took the pack of beer and the bag of booze from her.“The second you left he started to cry. You walk back in and he stopped I don’t get it.”“No, neither do I he has never done that with anyone bbefore.”Did this boy know what I was doing and didn’t feel safe around me? Is it possible that he could sense the bad things I have done? I’m being stupid he can’t know or understand he isn’t even a year old yet.Lou put Adam to bed and I picked some music and poured her vodka and coke. I thought I would play it safe and put on a completion album. My music selection is a wide and varied range from the doors to the Beatles to Metallica to Dolly Parton to iron maiden to Phill Collins I. It
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105It had been two years since I had read about some mad fucker called Harry. He was all over the newspapers and tv. He had scared the shit out of a town in Yorkshire. Like everything else it died down. He was wanted in connection with at least four murders. I admired how he had just disappeared into thin air. He had made a lot of mistakes though and I didn’t plan on making the same ones.I like people watching. Sitting some here public and watching people go by. Picking out my next victim. I wasn’t going to act on my urges today. It want easy to sit back and watch but it was out of sequence. If I act too fast then people will start to get jumpy. One week just one more short week and then it will be time to act.My last victim had been a child molester. I watched him for a month. He hung around schools and parks. He confirmed my suspicions one day making a move on a kid when her mum wasn’t watching talking to another mum in a park. He di
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104I wasn’t driving but being driven. Adam sat in the back strapped into a car seat. My driver was meathead, Mike. I had been told he was called Mike now. There was no pretense that this was his real name. He didn’t always respond to it when I called him it. We were on the motorway doing a perfect seventy miles per hour. There was also a car following us. That car also contained one of Nancy’s other sons. It wasn’t explained to me why we were being followed and I was nervous about it.Mike leaned over and turned on the radio.“I like some music while I drive.”A tape started playing heavy metal. Not something I would have chosen but I wasn’t going to complain. Adam started jumping about in his seat.“You like this little man?” said Mike in his usual gravely deep voice.“Yes. Louder.”Mike laughed and turned it up. He looked over to me with a grin. I don’t know if
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103Nancy was kind to me and Adam. She kept us fed we’ll and clothed us. Adam had the grandma he had never had. His every need taken care of. To say she was in the business she was shocked me. I spoke to her in great length about what had been going on for the past eighteen months or so. At no point did she flinch or show any sings of this being abnormal.We had been staying here now for a week. It was starting to feel like home even though I knew it was just short term. She had explained to me that my house was now hers. The story was that she had caught it as an investment property. One of her three sons was living there for now. When I sold the house I had agreed to leave it furnished. Every part of this looked legal on paper. Her son told the police that he had just moved in on the day Wayne was alleging I stabbed him. He was now in a heap of trouble. The police were still looking for me though. I had shaved my head and was working on a beard. The stubble was
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102My excitement so disappeared and changed to trepidation. When we were out of the park I was shown the back of a white windowless van and told to get in. I was paying for this treatment but did as I was asked. It occurred to me that I didn’t know what was going to happen. We’re they just going to kill us. That would be safer and more cost-effective for them.The back of the van was almost pitch black when the doors closed. The only light was what came in through the cracks in the seals. Adam started to fuss in my arms and the van started to move. Adam spoke to me in his limited way.“Daddy. Dark.”“Yes mate. It won’t be for long.”I kept my voice calm and soft. Hoping he would calm down himself. His creepy little baby hands pulled at my nose. Making sure I was there I hoped. He surprised me by saying.“Got nose.”I let out an involuntary laugh.“Haha give it back. H
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101Cleaning up blood is a pain in the arse. If I could get away with not cleaning it up I would. Adam was his usual happy self but he broke my heart. He didn’t know better but he kept asking me the same question over and over.“Daddy. Where Mummy?”He smiled and had a cheeky grin on his face. I tried to explain that she wasn’t coming back but how many two-year-olds can understand that. It’s going to take time but he will learn.I understand how little I know about kids. He is now on solid food, not the mush that comes in jars. I’m happy about that it never looked appealing to me when Lou used to taste a bit then feed him.I have changed three nappies today so far and I’m now thinking about what age do kids get potty trained. There could be months left on this. Oh God I have already survived the first bits of teeth g but will there be more. Maybe I haven’t thought this through at all.All this
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100It dawned on me that I hadn’t worked out how I was going to handle life with Adam on my own. The thought had never come to me that I would have to do e everything with him and for him.I hadn’t told the guys who were setting up our new lives Lou wasn’t going to be coming now. I wonder if I’m too late. It probably won’t matter that much. They will find out when they come for me tomorrow. Being alone means I don’t have a lot of loose ends to tie up. I should let work know I won’t be back in.Adam was still sleeping after our late night. Poor little fella. He won’t understand why mummy isn’t around anymore. He will be ok though he will adapt. His life with me will be good. I don’t think I will kill anyone for a while now. It is too much of a risk and I have too much at stake.There was a loud banging at my back door. Not a knock but an insistent banging. No one used my back door. So who could th
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99When Lou was dead. It didn’t take long and I hope it was an easy passing I wrapped her in plastic. Then rolled her into her grave. Unlike most of my other victims, I didn’t take off hands or remove her teeth. At some point in the future, the police will get an anonymous tip on where to find her. She deserved a proper send-off.Being in the woods at night is an unpleasant experience. Every sound made by send-off or the wind blowing through the trees made me tense. Most people would think that a monster lay in wait or a serial killer was after them. Not me I envision blue lights and sirens.The first few shovels full of dirt landed on the plastic making a disturbing noise. Grit and pebbles rolling on the sheet. Another few and the sound was muffled. Then after it was dirt on dirt.Back in my car Adam was snoozing away. So blissfully unaware of the tragedy that had happened. That is not a conversation I’m in a rush to have. At least he i
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98Reaching across a car with a rag to cover someone’s mouth and nose is hard. It’s made even harder when you feel like shit. My guts were still churning but Lou had cottoned on to my plan. It was inevitable. I just wish I could have trusted her. She could have had a good life and maybe I would have stopped killing.Lou tried to put up a fight but I was too quick and strong for her. Somehow Adam stayed asleep through the brief shuffle. Small victories have to be taken when you can.Now the effects of chloroform don’t last long just a few minutes. So instead of just driving off hopping to get to her grave before she came too again I cable tied her hands and legs together. There was no need for a gag. When she comes round I will have questions for her to answer.We drove in silence on the road for about half a mile then turned right onto a dirt track. The track was muddy and only just wide enough for my car. Branches and bushes scrapped at
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97We had ordered our takeaway and was just finishing eating. I hadn’t told Lou that we were going to move the body tonight yet. If I’m being honest which is unusually for me these days. I not looking forward to telling her. It will come as a shock I think. At the end of the day who wants to dig up a body that has been rotting in the ground for over a year.The more I think about the body the more I think moving it is a bad idea. In fact it is a bad idea. Yes I could have left clues there but I’m going to disappear like smoke in the wind after tomorrow. I’m not going to move him. He can rest in peace for a little while longer.Then another thought hits me. What if Lou has told Wayne about it. If she has then he could have told the police and I could be walking into, a trap. Shit. Have the police been watching my movements? Have they seen me go back to the scene of a crime and I’m oblivious to it? My palms start to swea