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SETH RIVERA AND THE ULTIMATE BLACK CARD Just A Drink
Looking into Christian’s eyes, Phoebe stopped, and in that brief moment, it seemed to the two that everyone else ceased to exist. Christian’s relaxed face was now a picture of guilt as he felt her presence in his house. “Phoebe,” he said her name again, his tone was low, but she could feel the shakiness in his voice. The blonde next to him fidgeted, stepping slightly away from him, her gaze jumping between them. This combination of sadness and anger made Phoebe’s breath come out in short sharp gasps and her heart raced. She wanted to scream, to yell, to tell him to stop and explain how he could have destroyed her only to be here now laughing with another woman. But instead she was just standing there with her arms folded waiting for him to explain what she had just seen. He tried to speak but the words wouldn’t come out right. He turned his head to the side, then back at her, as if he wished she would comprehend something, anything, but he had no idea where to begin. “Hi Phoebe, I
SETH RIVERA AND THE ULTIMATE BLACK CARD Ease My Soul
Then, they went round a corner and stumbled in front of an old shop that was a favorite of Phoebe. Its shelves were full of worn out novels and the odor of paper and ink was coming from the half opened door. There was something familiar about it, something that she could come back to without the sting of the memories. “Want to go in?” Emma questioned while pointing out Phoebe’s lingering looks. Phoebe nodded her head, she was feeling a certain kind of way she couldn’t quite describe as she looked at Ben. Inside the store, she ambled around the store, hands gliding over the books’ backs. She stopped at one that she recognized from the novel which she had read when she was still in her budding stage of relationship with Seth. The memories flooded back: old Sunday mornings, coffee, laughter and dreams that used to be so bright and promising. Staring into space, she almost didn’t hear the voice behind her when it spoke. “You look like you’re looking for something,” said a voice softly
SETH RIVERA AND THE ULTIMATE BLACK CARD Landon guy
Phoebe glanced at the man standing beside her. Still, the casual confidence in the way he stood was tempered by an understanding of the kind of contemplative silence she had grown to appreciate in the last couple of weeks. They both glanced at the painting once more, each was captivated by the same painting but for a purpose only they understood. “Is it not surprising how a single image contains so many narratives?” he asked after a while. Phoebe nodded, much to her surprise, she had never felt at ease with such a man before. I believe it is so because sometimes painting tells what words cannot. It embodies the sense of anticipation, of being at the precipice of a transition in life, but you know that you can’t just stay there. He smiled, looking at her, as if suddenly, he understood something. “Exactly. It means ‘the last second before the change occurs’.” And so they both fell into a kind of stunned quiet, both of them still staring at the painting. They both got it, that look i
SETH RIVERA AND THE ULTIMATE BLACK CARD “What's going on”?
“I would like to thank all the people who have been with me this way. To those who have stood by me and to those who walked away thank you. Every step that has been taken is the one that has brought me to where I am today and I am thankful for all of them.” The audience clapped, and Phoebe could not help but feel both happy and proud. When the show was over she mingled with people and said hello and hugged friends and other readers who have come to listen to her. Finally she was left alone standing by the door with her eyes fixed outside looking at the cool night. Christian came towards her, he was smiling but it was slight and unsure. “Phoebe,” he said softly. ‘I was going to tell you… you look happy.’ Really happy.” She nodded as her face was filled with quiet determination. “I am, Christian. I hope you are too.” He glanced down and had a subtle note of remorse painted on his face. “I am. And I’m sorry for all the things that happened. For not being what you wanted.” Phoebe the
SETH RIVERA AND THE ULTIMATE BLACK CARD Oliver Twist
The two walked on the pebbled shore and the sea was calm while the sun was setting in the background. They had only come out of his family’s cottage some time before that and were strolling hand in hand. The scene was so calm it felt like I was in a state of a dream. Oliver looked her way, a grin forming on his lips. “You look quite comfortable here,” he whispered. “It’s like you’re in the right place at the right time.” Gazing at the water, she frowned a little. “It’s strange,” she said, holding his hand. To my surprise, I have never thought that I could attain such kind of serenity. Not after everything. But now… it’s almost as if life brought me here on purpose.” Oliver chuckled. “I would like to think that I had a little something to do with it.” She laughed, and pushed him gently on his side. “Maybe just a little.” They stood and watched the waves. Oliver looked at her and became serious. “Phoebe… I know you’ve been through a lot. But… One day, you are forced to be strong an
SETH RIVERA AND THE ULTIMATE BLACK CARD Undisclosed Love
“You know we are still young and are still exploring, but I just wanted to tell you… I’m here” She turned to the side, her emotions rising when she heard genuine concern in his voice. “Thank you,” she said in a very low voice, bringing forth her hand to wrap it around his. “I do not take this lightly either. I’m glad to have you, Oliver. Safe to just… be myself.” He smiled and enclosed her hand in his own. “Good. That’s all I want.” They sat there and stared at the sea and the sea returned the stars. They didn’t have to talk all the time to keep the space between them occupied. Now sitting by the fire, holding Oliver’s hand, Phoebe felt happy and sure that she is where she belongs. Some time later the couple settled into a comfortable silence, while listening to the sound of the water crashing against the shore and gazing at the stars above them. She rested her head on his shoulder and felt something she has not felt for a very long time- acceptance. Soon the night was black and
SETH RIVERA AND THE ULTIMATE BLACK CARD While at Ease
“I never really spoke to you about my family, did I?” he asked looking at me and his voice was soft. She glanced at him, feeling that there was much more than what he actually said. “No, but I’d love to hear about them.” Your stories are like parts of you that I am yet to come across. He grinned and nodded, but his face was still serious. ‘My father was a fisherman,’ he started. “Not the sort who ventured out into the vast deep-sea but the sort who remained right on the edge of the shore.” He loved this coast and he knew the rocks and the currents as if it was yesterday. He used to take me for a small fishing trip and I would sit on the boat for hours listening to him narrate stories of the ocean. Some of them were real, some… well, let’s just say that he was a great orator.” Phoebe listened, captivated. “I think you were friends.” Oliver just nodded, and for a moment there was a brief look of sorrow in his eyes. “We were, but… he passed when I was thirteen. A heart attack. It was
SETH RIVERA AND THE ULTIMATE BLACK CARD Not Again
She shut her eyes tightly and let him speak about it and his words felt like a soothing ointment to her ears. But at the same time she remained afraid that her past would one day overtake all that she and Oliver had created. The next morning Phoebe made up her mind to go straight to her fears. She dialled her mum’s number, her heart racing while the phone rang. “Phoebe, finally,” Evelyn’s voice came through, her voice laden with suppressed anger. I have been trying to get hold of you for weeks now. Why are you ignoring us?” “Mom,” Phoebe said, getting ready for whatever was to come. “I’m not coming back. I need to live my own life.” Her mother sighed deeply, disapprovingly. “This is not the life you wanted for us Phoebe, this is not the life that we raised you to be in.” You are wasting all our efforts, all our achievements, our education, our chances. You’re being… irresponsible.” Phoebe held the phone firmly, she was trembling as she spoke. There is nothing wrong with that; per
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- SETH RIVERA AND THE ULTIMATE BLACK CARD
"What Regret"
“Regret,” she said with a sneer. Regret is just a euphemism for guilt. It doesn’t mean anything. It doesn’t wipe the slate clean, and it definitely does not heal the mess that you made.‘Christian,’ she said softly, ‘don’t come any closer.’ He stopped, as she decided to step back from him.Phoebe flared up again and asked him: “You said you came for the truth?” “Fine. Here’s the truth, Christian. I loved you. With everything I had. And you destroyed me. You were able to make me question myself in ways that I never knew existed. And now you stand here, asking me for what? Closure? Redemption? Forgiveness?”“No,” he said firmly. All I am demanding is an opportunity to prove that I can improve.” That I am better.”She scoffed. “And you believe that one conversation is going to make a difference?” You think I can just what? Stare at you and forget the years I struggled to climb up the ladder and get a life again?“No,” he repeated again, and there was no quiver in his voice. “But I can’t
- SETH RIVERA AND THE ULTIMATE BLACK CARD
Need You
Christian did not answer this for a while. He looked down, his hands were tightly bunched into fists at his sides. “I know it caused pain,” he said, his voice rising in a hoarse whisper. “I know I can’t undo that. But I can’t just let things be this way. Not anymore. If that means living with your hatred then let it be so.Phoebe only chuckled bitterly and began to pace in front of the fire. ‘Christian, you keep saying all the right things.’ Saying sorry, admitting my mistake, promising to take my anger on myself. But you don’t seem to understand. It’s not about you. Not anymore.”He stared at her with a frown on his face. “Then what is it about?”“It’s about me,” she said angrily, turning to him. ‘That’s about the years I’ve spent struggling to climb out of the pit you dug for me to fall into.’ It is about finding out how to be independent, how to live without the feeling that my chest is going to collapse. It’s about healing, or at least, about trying to put myself back together aft
- SETH RIVERA AND THE ULTIMATE BLACK CARD
Believe inYou
Phoebe shook her head, her arms wrapped around herself. “You don’t get it, Christian. Other people also had the same feeling as you; they were scared. I was terrified too. Of losing you, of not being good enough. But I stayed. I fought. And you didn’t.”“I know,” he said and his eyes welled up with tears. “And I hate myself for that. I wish I could have been stronger and did not leave when I did. But I’m here now, Phoebe. And I’m not running this time.”She glared at him and her eyes were red with rage, hurt and something else which she could not describe. “You say that now,” she whispered. But what happens when things get hard again? This begs the question, what happens when the cracks start to show?“They won’t,” he said firmly. “Because I’ve come to realize that running in particular does not solve anything. It just leaves a trail of broken pieces behind.”Phoebe only shook her head and a tear rolled down her face. She gently removed it as if she was embarrassed to show her weaknes
- SETH RIVERA AND THE ULTIMATE BLACK CARD
“I’m confused”
It’s convenient. You were waiting until you felt I was ready and powerful enough to take the news. Until you thought I didn’t need you anymore.”“That is not true,” Christian said quickly, getting up, his voice a high pitched note. “I have been taking this guilt with me every day since I left.” I did not return because of convenience. I returned because I could not continue living such a life knowing that I destroyed something that was wonderful.Phoebe whirled on her toes, glaring. “And what about me? Have you ever thought what it feels like to wake up every day with the marks you have made on others? To have to break yourself down and begin to build yourself up again from scratch just to have the one who was responsible for tearing you down appear with an apology?”“I do now,” he said quietly. “Because I do, I see it in your eyes. I hear it in your voice. And I hate myself for being the reason it’s there.”She was breathing raggedly, her hands were balled up at her sides. “You don’t
- SETH RIVERA AND THE ULTIMATE BLACK CARD
Either you believe or not
Christian sighed deeply and rested his hands on the table. “I am a man who wants to know how to accept what I have done. To challenge it, rather than avoiding it. To be able to admit that I can change the future but I can’t change the present and I can’t change the past.”Phoebe scoffed. ‘You really believe that taking responsibility is sufficient?’ You really believe that saying you were wrong in any of this makes it alright?”“No,” Christian said quickly. “It doesn’t make it okay. Nothing can make it okay. But it’s a start, isn’t it? A step toward being better. Towards becoming a person who does not destroy things.”Phoebe looked at her sister with her face impassive and then shook her head. “You want to be better? Good for you. But you don’t get to use me as your redemption arc. I am not some check-point on your way to self-improvement.”“I’m not asking you to be,” Christian said, his voice quiet, but commanding. I don’t need your forgiveness or your approval for anything I am doin
- SETH RIVERA AND THE ULTIMATE BLACK CARD
Lingering pain
“Phoebe,” he started cautiously, “I’m not here to put more load on you regarding this.” I know you didn’t want any of this and I’m not going to say that I’m so great for coming here now. But I’ve been attempting to take responsibility for my actions. And part of that means realizing how much I caused you pain.”Phoebe’s lips formed, her arms drawn tightly around her in the manner of a shield. “It does not heal the wound, Christian.” Oh do you think that knowing you regret it will give me back the time I lost? The trust I lost? The parts of me that had to be reconstructed?”“No,” replied Christian, who now looked ashamed. “I don’t. And I’m not asking you to forget what I did or even forgive me. I just had to tell you that… I can see it now. I can now understand how self-centered I was and how unable to notice your suffering.She tilted her head to the side, her mouth tightening as she looked out the window and saw the rain running down the glass. “Blind, huh?” she said with much bitter
- SETH RIVERA AND THE ULTIMATE BLACK CARD
All about Phoebe
Phoebe went back to the fire, her hands folding over her chest. For what seemed like a long time she did not respond. The fire crackled in the background, and its heat was the only thing that made the atmosphere between them warm.“What do you want from me, Christian?” she asked after a long time her voice was so low that it was barely audible.“Nothing,” he said quickly. “I don’t want anything from you. I just… I had to share it with you because it is the truth. To say sorry and let you understand that I noticed your suffering. That I see you.”Phoebe only managed to stifle a sarcastic laugh. “You see me now? That’s rich. Where was this clarity two years ago?”Christian moved a little closer and spoke slowly and calmly as if he was pleading with her. I was blind back then Phoebe.” As if the rest of the world does not exist, or, at least, I don’t exist to the rest of the world. But now… now I see everything I should have seen before. I understand how powerful you are, how much you inv
- SETH RIVERA AND THE ULTIMATE BLACK CARD
Get rewarded
“Sorry isn’t enough,” said Phoebe, tears rolling down her cheeks. “They think they can just come out and apologize and that’s the end of it.”“I’m not expecting that,” Christian said quickly. I know that I can never reverse the wrong I have done. But I had to tell you. I had to stop bringing this with me without doing something about it.”Phoebe exhaled hard and then rested her weight against the windowsill. “Well, did you even know what you left behind?” “How much I had to tidy up after you?”“I’ve thought about it,” Christian said, softly. “But I know that thinking about it isn’t the same as living it. I still can’t fathom how difficult it must have been for you.”Phoebe looked at her and shook her head, fuming again. “And you didn’t just hurt me, Christian.” You made me doubt, everything, including us, including myself. I used so much time thinking why am I not enough. Why I couldn’t repair whatever was ailing you.”Christian cringed as if the words that came out of her mouth had h
- SETH RIVERA AND THE ULTIMATE BLACK CARD
Another Game
One part of him wanted to kick Christian out, shut the door and never see him again. But there was another part, a lesser, more contemplative part of him that was interesting. What if Christian really had transformed? What if this wasn’t just another one of his games?“Alright,” Phoebe said in the end, the word coming out sounding more like a bitter grumble. “You want to talk? Talk. ‘I’m not making any guarantees here,’ I tell him.Christian nodded and his shoulders dropped down as well. He looked around the room, and then looked at the couch. “Do you mind if we sit?”Phoebe frowned, then reluctantly gestured at the couch with a nod. He stayed on his feet, leaning with his arms folded against the wall, a defensive air about him.Christian leaned back on the couch, placing his elbows on his knees and his hands on top of each other. He looked at the floor for a moment with a blank face, then he said something.“I know I hurt you. And not just once—repeatedly. You wanted to help me and I
