25th September

Over the last few days, I have been keeping my distance from Rita. I still couldn't look her in the eye. I was to blame for the fiasco of the shooting range. I would not let myself believe others words. They all except Rita said thet there was nothing I could have done to get a better outcome. But still, I knew if I had tried as hard to find her as I would have done anyone else it would have been completely different. That mistake will never be repeated. I had woken up this morning very early. It wasn't planned but my arse wanted to explode. I farted once and a bit came out. Let's keep that quiet. Everyone in the house was now up and knew what was going on. Gaz kept taking the piss. I was not in the mood for it. My ring was burning worse than what Johnny cash sang about. I was on my way to speak to Red and see if he could do anything. When I had to make a u-turn. I had to run. Rita got in my way. I danced from side to side. Trying to get past but we kept moving in tandem. I grabbed

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