The radio message was driving me mental putting me in a foul mood. April went to put an arm over me and I shrugged her off angrily. She sat up in bed sharply giving me daggers.
"What's up with you. Ya mardy bastard."
I got up and dressed without saying anything and left the bedroom. I didn't intend to slam the door but I did. I was the first one up this morning so I brewed up some coffee in the cafeteria. I wasn't hungry so I just poured a cup and went for a fag. I took Jessie out with me. I was glad that putting on heavy boots and coat. Remembering to always have a weapon on me. A weapon was starting to be like a comfort blanket. Walked around the farm checking the perimeter. Jessie was running all over the place bouncing around. I saw some movement in the house so I decided that I would just get to work in the barn. I was still in no mood for people.
When I got to the barn I was distracted and really not in the mood for work. I was pott
3rd OctoberI can’t remember the last time I was in bed asleep so early. April played a little practical joke on me. When I knocked on the bathroom door and shouted that I was in the bedroom. April decided to go down stairs and not tell me. I waited but fell asleep before realising what had happened. Now I’m awake nice and early in a good mood. April asleep to my side and I laugh to myself at her joke. Who don’t think I am to snap my fingers and she jumps in bed with mis e. I know her better than that. I will do something for her today. I don’t know what but something.After breakfast and we have all talked about the day’s jobs I jump into my pickup and drive. I insisted on going alone. James was going to be with David. I must remember to call him David, not Dave. He gave me the impression that Dave was not his name and would cause a problem if use
4th OctoberBeing knocked is a shit way to go to sleep. Waking up is fucking horrible. Nothing like in the films. When you come around nothing is in focus. Your arms and legs don’t feel like they have bones. Then to top it off you are confused as to where you are.This awakening was no different to any other time I have been knocked out. I could tell I was inside and somewhere dark. While blinking frantically I heard something. A voice but I wasn’t sure if I knew it. My head was still foggy.“Me. Is that you?”My fat tongue was getting in the way of me speaking. It was like I had a burger in my mouth.“Yeah.”Was the only sound that made any sense. The rest was mumble
5th OctoberIt took me a long time to explain to everyone what had happened. In the end it came as a new rule. No one is ever to go anywhere without saying where they are going. A time scale has to be set and you don’t go anywhere alone. I was told that Rita had even shown concern. She would never tell me but April had noticed her pacing around and constant questions as to what I was doing. She had said it was down to wanting food and supplies. April saw through her bravado but let her have her time.I thought about how things had been and decided to forget about Rita’s issues. If she ever wanted to make up with me she would. I wouldn’t force her to go if she didn’t want to. Maybe she will stay and stop with her shit attitude. Who knows not me. She now knows though that I put myself in as much danger as anyone else. She will probably ne
5th October evening and nightI was the first one to speak but I wasn’t friendly. My tone was that of anger not urgency or sympathy. People had tried to take advantage too many times and I wasn’t just going to roll over and let someone do it again. From where I was stood I couldn’t see anyone else and looking at Gaz and Red they couldn’t see anything either.“So where is your dad then?”“He's laid down in the back seats. He can’t get out please. Come and help.”Fuck me this kid is pretty convincing but everyone is. If I tell Red to go see to him and it’s a trap we loose the closest thing we have to a Doc. If I don’t and there is a guy dying in the back I’m responsible for him dying. On the other hand Red still had things to make up for.“Open the door and let me see. No, one is coming out of here until we see.”“You won’t
6th OctoberI was up early and wanted to check on Colin. I doubt he slept well last night. He came to us for help. What did we do we locked his dad up after injecting him with his knows what and then locked him in a barn on his own. He must be shitting bricks. He might not be bad and we could do with all the help we can get.I went to the barn on my own and opened it up. Colin was already up and dressed. Well maybe he hadn’t been to sleep at all.“Morning Col. How you holding up?”“I’m ok didn’t sleep well though.”“You’ll be ok come and get some breakfast. If you want I will take Jessie for a walk and you can come with me to see your dad. But if be has turned I will kill him there and then.”“Thanks but I don’t think I can eat. I don’t want to see my dad if he has turned. I get that you would have to kill him. I won’t hold it against you. It&rsquo
6th October afternoon and nightApril slapped me while the bottle of Vodka was still at my lips. I had managed a good gulp but a lot more spilled over me and the floor. Out of anger and frustration, I hurled the bottle and it’s remaining contents at the wall. Nobody seemed to know what to say or do. Apart from James of all people. He pushed me down into a chair.“Sit down Mr. That’s not nice.”“Ok. Look I’m sorry. Once again we have tried to help and once again it has gone wrong. Yet another decision made by me. When will things go our way?”“When nature is ready.”How the fuck was James coming up with this shit. I guess he is right. Nature always sorts itself out. All we as humans do is fuck it up. It must be down to all his love for animals that has made him think this.“Yes I guess your right James. Everyone I’m sorry for having a paddy like a toddler.”
15th OctoberThe last few days have been busy. Basically all of us went to Pennine manor and emptied it of anything of use. We killed a lot of zombies in different places and times but they mounted up. I’m starting to see we need people. I can’t do this on my own. I get up first and nine times out of ten I’m the last to bed. I’m working fifteen hours a day more some times. I thought the end of the world would knock the lazy out of people.Colin was fitting in nicely. He was well mannered and worked like a machine. He was like my shadow where ever I went he was there. He was ready for action at all times. Weather it was fighting or laboring he was keen to get stuck in. What I was thinking though was he had a brain in his head as well as a good attitude. He was going to make use of it. His schooling was going to start. I know I’m a fine one to talk. It was that rare that I went to school they thought I was trespassing.If s
19th OctoberThe day was here and I’m not going to lie. I don’t know if I’m going to shit a brick or if I’m just proper excited. Will anyone be waiting for us? I don’t even know who to take with me or how many. Should I go tooled up or relatively unarmed? If we go unarmed we are leaving ourselves open to attack. If we go armed to the teeth we will look like a threat and could lead to fighting. Oh my God, I need a fag a coffee and some air. I need to slow down and think clearly.Not telling people was a bad idea. They are going to hit the fucking roof when I tell them what I have done. What gave me the right to put us all at risk without talking it through. The chip on my shoulder is getting way too big. If I’m not careful I won’t be able to get my head through the door.The early morning air was beautiful and cool. A mist settled in the bottom of the valley. It reminded me of being in a plane looking down at t