Don't Lose Yourself

“Then what's the most important thing? Isn't it natural that when we are strong, we can take revenge on the enemy who made us suffer? That makes us satisfied, doesn't it? Just like learning, when we know something we want, we will get satisfaction,” Ivo explained his thoughts.

“You're wrong!” Sky and Lily replied simultaneously, which startled Ivo, but Sky and Lily smiled at each other.

“When you become a stronger human, you will take your revenge on the first person, the second, and so on, until your enemies are gone. Then after that you will be addicted to committing the atrocities you did to your enemies even though you originally wanted to avenge them,”

“But just so you know. When you start killing and you feel satisfied, then you will be no different from the person who destroyed you that time. You will unconsciously lose the identity of who you really are and what you want by being strong,”

“After you avenge yourself, can you guarantee that you won't kill anyone else again? A human's ego changes with what that human has gained, and you might not be able to overcome that if your original intention was wrong,”

“Our father repeatedly told you that, didn't he? Fix your intentions and you won't lose yourself!”

Hearing Sky's words made Ivo look down. He also felt that his intentions were wrong. But his ego was too high to accept that pain.

“In that case, when will I finish off the criminals who ruined my life? Do I have to wait longer to see them feel what I feel?” Ivo asked in a cold tone. The look in his eyes could be interpreted differently by Sky and Lily right now.

“I've already killed one criminal and it's because of you guys who indirectly helped me to do that! I've also been in mafia dens like you guys to strengthen myself, but why is it that the things I thought were wrong and I didn't get stronger after doing what you guys suggested?!”

“Screw not losing your true identity! What do you get out of being a mobster, huh?! Can you still be called a decent human being after killing so many people you don't know? And now I'm trying to be like you, but why is it so hard?”

“Being a good and weak person has already proven to be useless, but when I try to be a bad human like you, I can't do anything either!”

Ivo was angry and exploded with confusion in his mind. He had destroyed his high self-esteem and violated the humanitarian code of ethics as a doctor to join the mafia-like Mr. Jack and his mafia group. But even after three months, he hadn't gotten what he wanted, and what he did was wrong, according to Sky and Lily.

Ivo looked sharply at the two brothers before leaving the firing range at the Black Dragon base.

Lily was about to voice his comments and throw a punch at Ivo, but Sky quickly restrained his brother.

“Hold your temper, Lily. He just can't accept reality yet. Like us, that doctor went through the same phase,” Sky told Lily.

“But we didn't take too long to adjust our egos, grudges, and understanding to what Dad said. It's been three months and he can't even shoot a bull's-eye or swing a sword properly.”

“There's no way with his genius and exceptional concentration, that stupid guy can't understand what we're teaching him, bro!”

“I'm worried about what will happen when he gets to the point of being able to avenge himself. Don't you think he'll become a bloodthirsty mobster? From his expression and ambition, I can see that he'll be so ambitious to pursue what he wants, bro. He's terrible if we don't save him early and make things not too late!”

Lily expressed his opinion about Ivo's excessive ambition, which Ivo could not control.

“Yes, I can relate to that, but it's none of our business, Lily. Dad will handle it. If we interfere too much, it's like we're doubting his decisions.”

“We were told by Dad to teach him what we can. We're not in a position to comment on his decisions. He has his own horrible events and grudges, Lily. Let me make him realize that his ego must be destroyed first before turning him into a new person,”

Sky said with a calm sentence while still observing Ivo's figure, who left angrily.

***

The sound of a decisive blow on the bag in front of him confirmed that Ivo was furious. The hatred, confusion, and disappointment in himself gave him a headache. His emotions were also unstable in terms of what was good and what was not.

He was disappointed that what he had been working on for the past three months could still not be considered rapid progress.

Ivo could use the firearm well, but he never hit the target. Of course, that was far from rapid progress.

As for training with bladed weapons, Ivo often lost his grip on the hilt when Lily sparred with him.

With both exercises failing by the minute, Ivo vented his frustration on the giant punching bag he fought against daily.

“Do you feel better by expending your energy on those emotional punches?”

From the doorway to the free fighting room, Mr. Jack was watching the angry Ivo.

“Punching bag is an inanimate object that will not cry even if you break your hand by hitting it. You will break it with your own anger.”

Mr. Jack said again as he walked towards Ivo, who ignored Mr. Jack's voice and arrived. He continued to hit the punching bag as hard as he could.

[Kick]

Ivo's body slammed hard and crashed into the ring divider where Ivo was.

“Why are you so stubborn? Aren't you a smart young man? Why can't you even fight your ego?” Mr. Jack grumbled with no expression of anger.

“You see your hand, it's already bleeding. If you break your own hand, how will you face the world after this? Don't you want to change, Ivo?”

“Revenge is fine, but it doesn't justify being a fool!”

Mr. Jack advised Ivo, who had lost his way. With his calmness, Mr. Jack said the one sentence that Ivo had wanted to hear for a long time.

“If you don't want to change the way my children and I do, then I'll let you do what you want. As long as...”

“As long as you succeed, I don't see your body when you take revenge on your enemies. I know that's what you wanted from the start,”

Mr. Jack's words were valid. Ivo felt better after listening to Mr. Jack's words of approval.