The Least Common Denominator

IV.III Product

"Oookay?" I sarcastically remarked as I picked myself up from the nearest wall. Not really the strongest of attacks that I've tanked through, but it still hurt like getting the wind punched out of you. "Madam, what was that for?"

*DRIP DRIP*

"Oh! Sweetie~" The beautiful Arya, to her credit, looked absolutely sincere with the amount of remorse she was putting out. "I'm sorry~ I didn't mean to get you wet~"

I found myself chuckling at the obvious innuendo. How typical of her to hide it under her seemingly innocent tune.

"Oh, I don't mind, Madam," I quipped back as I wiped the excess water off of my face. "I just never expected it to be so... soon."

I had vivid memories of our... promiscuous activities with one another. It was usually whenever the Madam ordered Olivia away for some errand, leaving just the two of us in the same room. In the same bed... Damn. Now I'm getting wet in a different sense of the word.

*DRIP DRIP DRIP*

The Numerator smiled at me with the grace of a thousand suns. "Ooh. Is that another one of those-"

*CLANG!*

A resounding clang interrupted the bluenette as Olivia now occupied the space in front of the woman. In my little sis's grip was a blade that was surely of her own make; a shortsword with a telltale pattern only seen in katana forging.

"YOU BITCH!" The brunette spat out as her sword ground against our patron's rapier. "YOU DARE LAY A FINGER ON HER?!"

"Woah there!" Since when did my little ball of cuteness learn how to decipher 'adult' talk? "'Livia, what's going on?"

*CLANG CLANG CLANG*

Three sword swipes came from Olivia in resounding succession. The first was a downward slash aiming for the head, followed by right-hand slash after the first attack got rebuffed. Finished off with a roundhouse horizontal slash using the momentum she gained from the second parry. I fought the urge to clap at Olivia's progress. That was some fine technique coming from my charge. Too bad it all got deftly blocked by our patron.

"SIS!"-Olivia backed off from a forward thrust from Arya's rapier-"YOU'VE BEEN-"-a jet of water almost clipped her right ear as she ducked-"BRAINWASHED!"

"Brainwashed?"

*DRIP DRIP DRIP*

I don't understand.

"Nonesense~" Arya jollily denied the accusation as she casually walked towards my defending sister. "Your sister and I simply shared a common interest. Particularly on each other~"

*DRIP DRIP DRIP*

"YOU LIE!"

*CLANG!*

"YOU'VE DONE THIS MULTIPLE TIMES ALREADY!" Olivia screamed as she tried in vain to work past her better's defenses. "HOW MANY TIMES MUST YOU DEFILE HER!?"

A faint hum suddenly appeared in my head as I tried to process Olivia's claims. Me? Defiled?

*TRICKLE TRICKLE*

I don't remember getting...

*CLAng clang...*

My field of vision shrank by the second, the sounds of fighting becoming muted as I found myself introspecting. Defiled... Brainwashed... That shouldn't be possible. I mean, elementalism cannot possibly be used for mind-altering techniques, could it?

*TRICKLE TRICKLE TRICKLE*

Brainwashing cannot possibly be on the table as an option. After all, logic...

*TRICkle trickle*

Logic...

*DRIP drip...*

Logically, it could be possible.

But the question would then be 'how'? How could Elementalism be used for mind-alteration? Let alone water? Olivia did accuse Arya of doing the deed- No... what am I thinking?!

*drIP DRIP*

Arya would never do that to me. She's our patron. Our savior. Like the big sister that I never had. Hell, at some points she's even acted like-

*drip...*

Mother...

The smoldering rage from a few minutes ago reappeared right in front of my mind's eye. A flaming beast with no sense of direction. It felt familiar; like a long lost aspect of my core personality was just beyond my reach. But why? This shouldn't be possible! There's no magic in this world that could possibly make something like this happen.

*TRICKLE TRICKLE*

A leak. The sound of dripping water. Now that I look at it, there's a steady flow of water circling around the beast; the cool waters suppressing the beast's fiery flames. A dawning realization hit me. What a trope. This experience right now?

I was in a mind palace of some sort.

I found myself chuckling at the phenomenon. This was not real. Nope! Not happening! I won't indulge my hyperactive imagination's delusional fantasies! I had bigger things to worry about, like how to wake up so I can stop my two precious idiots from fighting.

*HISS!*

Billowing steam erupted from the beast's position; its flames now seemingly fighting back against its watery confines. This was a metaphor of some sort. Of that, I am sure. Why, brain, must you be like this?

*FSHHHHHH!*

Water continued to batter the fiery beast, only for the bird-like creature to flap its wings against the onslaught. To its credit, it seems to be working.

I sighed as I sat down on the wet floor of my mind palace. Why am I still here? I should be out there right now. On that matter, am I even conscious? Or did I hit my head somehow without me noticing; causing me to fall into unconsciousness? Argh! Why didn't I take Psychology as a course?!

*FSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!*

I mean, it would've been easier for me to pass the damn thing. The job options were also more general and brain-dead compared to being railroaded to a hospital setting! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

*SCREEEECH!!!!*

I never wanted to interact with patients all day long! I hated the pompousness of the medical academe! I should've never shifted away from engineering!

*SQUAAAAACCKK!!!!*

I NEVER SHOULD'VE OUTLIVED MY PARENTS IN THIS WORLD!

Fire erupted as the proverbial phoenix freed itself from its watery prison. A blazing heart. A crescendo. Pent up rage and frustrations from both the past and the present coalesced into a singular point in my chest.

THIS WORLD SUCKS!

The incessant dripping completely ceased to be; what was once a dam now a scorching hot desert. It felt good to rant. Far too good that I kept on doing it.

NO INTERNET! NO TECHNOLOGY! THE FOOD'S BLAND, TO SAY THE LEAST!

Harsh criticisms, but my catharsis needs to be complete.

NO HYGIENE PRODUCTS TOO! NOT TO MENTION BASIC PLUMBING AND SANITARY PROTOCOL!

Too unfair, especially since it's a medieval world. But a girl can complain, right?

NO MEDICINE! NO BASIC LOGIC! ILLOGICAL!

Indeed. This world's just too...

ILLOGICAL!

I caught my mental breath as I turned my attention to the McGuffin of the hour. Now, what is this phoenix looking thing supposed to be?

*SQUAAWK!*

Haha. Real funny. Now give me a proper answer.

*SCREECH!*

What do you mean you're my untapped potential? Don't tell me I'm some chosen one or something like that.

*SQUAWK?*

Huh?! We never had this conversation before, dumbass! My memory's pretty sharp, don'cha know?

*SCREEEEEECHHH!!!*

Alright! Alright!

I dusted the imaginary particles off my dress as I stared the flaming chicken down. Apparently, this thing's-

*SQUAWK!!*

-She's my magical potential. Whatever that means.

*SQUAWK!!*

Fine! I do know what it means! Doesn't mean I think it's real though!

*SCREEEEEEECCCHHHHHH!!!!!!!!*

The flaming bird flapped its wings at me, the gust strong enough to sweep me off my feet. Joy. Guess I angered it.

Well too fucking bad.

I felt myself leaving the mind palace; the familiar sight of our shared bedroom greeting me as I came to.

*CLANG CLANG*

In front of me, 'Livia's still at it; her breathing now running ragged despite not having a visible scratch on her. She's still soaked in water though.

"Had enough?~"

I felt a fuse light inside me. That voice... That damnable voice!

The grip on my katana tightened as I consciously developed tunnel-vision. The goal was clear. The claims were true.

"ARYA!!!!"

No one messes with my brain. No matter how sexy the perpetrator was going to be.   

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Look at this hot mess! It's so nonsensical!