One pity party after the other. Care to give me Gems? It helps my motivation to do better.
In a time where mental disorders were probably still superstition and purely religious bullshit, I'd guess that me coming out as a kooky, depressed lesbian would probably not go over well for the vast majority of people living in this world. Medieval culture placed god at the tippy top of the totem pole. And while I was vaguely familiar with the local religion, I still don't know if liking the same sex was frowned upon here.But hey, it wasn't like I was going to come out and say I was from a different world, right?"So you're saying that... you feel sad all the time?"I nodded at Ruby's helpful question, "Usually, yes. But not all the time, as you can see."Sitting around the campfire, the cave made for a warm backdrop as I sat the party down for the supposed tactical and strategic planning session. With everyone havin
Coal. Coal! We actually had coal available in our arsenal! If we manage to set things up just right, we'll actually have true industrialization in our hands! Steam power... Electricity... Proper fucking lighting too! Oh my god, we're gonna jump another few decades up the tech tree at this rate!"Huh? We found Black Ore. We won't have to worry about freezing to death anymore. Woohoo," Phillipe sarcastically whooped. "What's the big deal with that?"I only shook my head as I flashed him a conniving smile that made him look uneasy, "Oh, just everything you guys know about the world, probably."The advent of steam power irrevocably changed the world back in my first life. It propelled the UK into becoming the largest empire to ever grace the Earth with its insane naval capabilities. Trains made cross-continental logistics possible, and it all culminate
The rest of the minutiae were hashed out in a quick and efficient fashion after the talk about all of the Runing shenanigans was completed. We settled for the usual strat of building up and going from there while I moved to ramp up and 'invent' more stuff for us to use. And while I actually had the chance to make some small talk with Grigori, I still haven't managed to tell him about my rather peculiar case of dual-wielding both Essence types. In hindsight, I probably should've just went out with it instead of skirting around the issue using my sister as a smokescreen, but I guess some things were just not meant to be."Now that everything's in order with our plans, I guess I should continue with my self-pity session."I gave everyone a smirk as a somber atmosphere immediately replaced the serious, thinking session of yester-minute. In a sense, I really shouldn't be doing this
"I guess I'll go next on the chopping block."I raised an eyebrow as Phillipe took to the metaphorical stands. Contrasting his usual contrarian scumbaggery, the half Vaion surprisingly looked like he was taking this seriously as opposed to just casually slinging mud all over my face like usual.Giving me a stern look, Phillipe looked like he was staring straight through my soul as he said his piece, "You're insane."Livia's grip on my hand tightened to an iron grip. I squeezed back to let her know not to make a scene."You risked your life to save us without so much as expecting something in return," Phillipe continued. "In fact, you even let us choose if we wanted to go with you or not." The Den chuckled to himself in a way that denoted some form of self-awareness. "I just know that we made the wrong choice, but someho
H-huh?! I thought we were over this!"I'm not pushing you away, Livia," I gently reasoned. "I'm doing what's logical to-""To keep me safe, right?"Fucking shit... I couldn't even deny her claims even if a part of me knew I was in the right. I could only wait patiently as Livia finally let go of my hand. Standing in between me and the campfire, her conflicted gaze almost made me want to throw up as tears built up in her sorrowful eyes."Right?!"I reluctantly nodded; my own instincts for avoiding conflict kicking in as I mentally prepared myself for the verbal onslaught. My sister probably had all the ammunition she could ever need to rip me apart if she really wanted to. And while I already gave her a chance to vent earlier, I guess it was cut off way too soon if she was still riding a high
Olivia had never felt more ashamed in her life than right now."We have to go after her!""Olivia! You have to stay here, okay?!"The roiling swirl of conflicting emotions threatened to overwhelm her own thought processes. She might say that it was the same as when she was at that... bad place in time, but the way she was feeling right now was arguably worse than having to lose all of her hope and drive in life...She had argued with her Big Sis... Olivia! Arguing with Sis! It was both exhilarating and terrifying to even think of herself going into a screaming match with the one Person that she cared about most in the world. To think that screamed at Her right in the face... and to experience first-hand her Sister's ire...Her chest felt like it was going to explode."I-I did this
How many times do I have to fuck up like this? Sure, I've once said something in the terms of 'failure being just being more experience,' but if I'm not going to use those experiences to at least better myself, then was I even doing with my life? I mean, I acknowledge that me changing would require such a Herculean effort to the point that it would probably be better to just move on and ignore it, but I still couldn't believe that I was this monumentally stupid in terms of emotional control and illogical insanity. "You okay, Sis?" Waking up after almost succumbing to hyperthermia was an experience I thought I'd never go through again. But while the first one was caused entirely by accident, this was.... kind of deliberate now that I was thinking more clearly. Some things never change...
"Y-you can let go now..."Feeling my sister release me from her comforting grasp, I took a deep breath as I kept my sobs locked into my chest. We've been crying into each other's arms for a good while now, and I really think we should move on to other things. We really shouldn't even be doing this, in my opinion; especially since it was all my fault, to begin with."Feeling better?""W-well enough," I weakly chuckled as I brushed a few of my sister's own tears off her face. "I have something to tell you..."I almost flinched as Livia leaned in closer as if wishing to relish whatever new nugget of wisdom I was about to bestow upon her. Meanwhile, I could only think if doing what I was about to do was a good idea. I never really liked it when characters from an isekai tell the native population that they were from another