Days had turned to weeks real fast as we found ourselves staring at more of the same in our trek towards the southern edge of the Empire. Signs of civilization had been scarce, as well as contact with the rest of the Empire in terms of actual news and current events. We had no idea what was happening anymore, and what we did know was probably weeks, or even months out of date in terms of relevancy and usefulness.In short, we were in the middle of fucking nowhere and we know fuck-all about what was even happening beyond our immediate vicinity.Granted, it probably wouldn't matter even if we did know that the Empire might already be on the verge of collapse as we speak. In the end, we were still just a party of three that had no clue as to what the final end goal of this journey will be. I had already said to myself that I was going to try and piece together the old me's past,
Traveling sucks.While it was true that it was the dream for those that feign 'wanderlust' whenever they post their philosophical bullshit on their social media, it was still too much of a pain for anyone that wasn't shitting money out of their ass twenty-four seven to just leave their nine-to-five and go wherever the fuck they wanted without consequences. It cost far too much for a single night out doing fuck all; buying overpriced drinks to go with your overpriced food with portions so small it wasn't even enough to feed a small child. And to top it all off, you still have to consider if you still have work the day after. Granted, it was still a decent change of pace for those that were just sick of going to the same damn places for what could be amounted as years, myself included; the amount of time, energy, and resources just made me slowly change from the normal bright-eyed idiot that couldn't sleep
The next few hours were predictably boring after our inevitable cry-fest. Emotions were aired out, my repressed insecurities given an outlet for some sort of release. In hindsight, I knew that I was just being stubborn in not needing the support earlier, what with me bawling my eyes out with Lace being the prime example of my laughable inability to lie even to myself. But I guess it was a given with my shallow personality, no?Well, it at least gave my heart some much-needed reprieve before it had to tackle the assuredly-heavy themes of walking straight into the center of my problems."It's.... something..."The distance from a few hours earlier definitely did not do this place justice, it would seem. Despite only having the last few rays of the setting
..............Huh? Where was I- Oh...I blacked out, didn't I... Well, that's just great. And judging from the burning pain and fatigue I was feeling throughout my body, I'd guess that I was probably also running a high fever just to put the icing on the metaphorical shit cake.With my body not really listening to me as I laid in silent agony, I didn't really know what else I could actually do beyond letting my mind wander again. That, or try and divine just what the hell was being done to my body as Lace assuredly tried treating me to the best of her abilities.Let's see... My last thought from earlier was poisoning... poisoning... Radiation poisoning? Was it even possible? How the hell would Lace even treat for something like it? I sure as hell didn't remember; my only recollection of it
"How long do you think we have?"Time was relative inside a mindscape. Or, at least that's what I hoped was the case. It could've been minutes. Hours. Hell, maybe even days since I've found myself sitting in front of Ica bathing in the woman's warmth and presence. A part of me relished the feeling; that I was free to do absolutely nothing in the presence of someone that knew me in an absolute sense. No pretentious bullshit of hiding my more fucked up quirks and weird-ass tendencies."Who knows?" Ica off-handedly responded, her eyes not straying from the book that seemed to have just magically materialized in her hands not a few minutes ago. "It will all depend on how your body responds. I'm sure you're sturdy enough to survive, however."Sturdy, huh... "How so?"Ica slipped a thumb over her lips as she turned a page on
I gave up. Wasn't that the inconvenient truth..."It doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize that you've been... how should I put it... gimping yourself, Master."Ignoring the colorful choice of words, the thought Ica was trying to get across still hit its mark as I found myself falling back into my chair. The world around me felt like it was melting at the seams as I hunched over the table, my mind struggling to render the truth that was plain as day to see for anyone except for me."You failed one too many times, you couldn't handle the pressure anymore, and you gave up on yourself."*thud*The hefty thud of a book slamming shut echoed straight into my ears as I heard Ica get up from her seat. I felt her moving around my general vicinity; her heat far too obvious and apparent for me to
Ica wasn't one for games.Being a literal embodiment of her Master's untapped abilities, the phoenix hadn't expected to mold herself into this demeaning approximation of her Master's... preferences. She was power. Pure Essence made manifest. To think that she'd stoop to lower herself simply in a vain attempt to knock some sense into the idiot that was her host?Inconceivable.And yet, as Ica watched her Master reabsorb each and every page of her repressed memories, she couldn't help but roll her eyes at the lengths she had undergone for this event to even happen. Creating a human analog of herself had been the first step, despite her host already being able to understand her through her sheer thoughts. Next came the complete overhaul of the mindscape, which would enable her Master to better understand the place that was her own mess of a mind.
Questions... the fundamental building blocks of curiosity. Any child would have these in spades, as would any other OCD-riddled adult that just refuses to accept any answer at face value. Of course, it wasn't that easy to seek the answers to any question, especially during the late-age information era when the very concept of the truth had been distorted and mangled by those that wished to control it. Anyone with a narrative had their own set of truths, as would those that simply had their own beliefs and principles. Unfortunately, the hivemind that was society had a tendency to spit out those that went against them, and as such, thinking for oneself became radicalism."Crimson?"Radicalism, in turn, becomes extremism. After which would come the gradual degradation of rational thought and basic common sense. Now that I think about it, I think even I, myself, wasn't immune to i