The Seed of Life

Where Am I Now?

All this time, I had been huddled alone in this damp, cramped, dark prison.

This place didn’t even deserve to be called a prison. The 'prison' that surrounded me, is no less than a shabby eggshell that could only fit me inside.

Therefore, it never occurred to me that one day, I would be released from the prison that had confined me from the outside world since the very beginning of my life.

It was weird.

This place had never changed before, even though time seemed to have passed by forever. Inside this “prison”, I didn't feel conscious, nor that I was fully aware either.

It was as if this prison was forcing me to stay asleep, constantly dreaming in a deep long slumber without any need to be sentient.

Then, slowly but surely, the layer of the shell that had been preventing me from being free began to crumble. I couldn't hear it clearly, but I could feel the cracking sound slowly starting to crawl, finding its way to my ears.

As the crack grew bigger, the light that had been halted for so long began to shower my wet and naked body.

One by one, the shell fell. The wall that was previously impeccably solid, had now become no more than a fragile wall. It didn't take long until the wall collapsed completely, leaving me alone vulnerable to the light.

At first, I couldn't digest what was going on. Whether it's the dazzling light, the sound that had been vibrating in my eardrums, or my trembling fingers. All of these are completely foreign concepts to me.

I, who had been huddled weakly with no strength, began to gain control over my own body.

Since then, I was completely free. I was no longer forced to keep dreaming in that cramped prison. However, if I wasn't not dreaming, then what was this feeling that was blooming inside me?

Then I knew the answer.

On that day, I hatched and gained consciousness.

But, freedom was not always a blessing. I, who had just woken up from a thousand years' dream, began to realize this.

As I was just an infant, I could do nothing but follow my instinct—to get out of this place. To achieve that, I tried to move my weak arms and legs, then dragged them forcefully.

But of course, my body wouldn’t budge even once.

As if that wasn't enough, I just realized that my body was covered in a slippery and sticky liquid—a leftover from the eggshell earlier—which made it even more difficult for me to move than it already was.

Then, no matter how many times I tried, I always got the same result. I slipped on my own feet and fell back down. At this point, these repeated misfortunes made me think of giving up.

I started to look down and cursed myself. I, who had been blessed with freedom, did not yet have the worthiness to embrace it.

A sense of despair and dread choked me. The price that I had to pay for this freedom was too heavy, I thought. Hopeless, my state was no different than a hollow body.

As I slumped down, my sight fell on the back of my body. I just realized something. Right on my back, I could see a pair of wings that were still tightly closed.

I couldn't help but be disgusted with how pathetic I was. With these pair of beautiful wings, I couldn‘t just fall into despair like this.

Just like a magic word, I then threw away every pessimistic thought inside my head. I didn't have to think twice anymore. I forced myself to get up from this pathetic state.

I would not tolerate any single failure. Not even the slightest. I might fall back a thousand times. I might fall back to the ground, and I might regret this decision. However, those woeful failures would only continue to forge me again and again, until finally my body and soul became as solid as steel.

I tried to put my feet together, spread my wings, and then maintain my balance. Enduring this tormenting pain, I continued to push myself beyond my limit. At this point, I didn't even care about myself anymore.

As long as I was conscious, then giving up was never an option. If the pain that I couldn't contain slowly destroyed my body, then so be it.

Then, time flew by effortlessly, as if it was ignoring my existence. I have lost count of how many times I fell and got back up again. I tried and then failed. I tried again and then failed again. It was a countless loop of trials and errors, over and over again.

If I was a wheel, then my situation was not much different from a wheel that was forced to keep spinning even though it was already torn apart.

However, I paid no heed to my pain at all. The pain was somehow, overshadowed by a feeling of satisfaction with myself now being able to stand perfectly on the ground.

Finally, the struggles have paid off. After a lot of enduring and trying, I managed to do it. What seemed like meaningless and reckless efforts, turned out to not be meaningless at all.

I was one step closer to leaving this place!

-

For a moment, before I left this place, I returned to where the broken egg was. For a moment, a slight feeling of doubt clouded my mind.

Did I want to leave this place?

Did I think of that egg as a prison that caged me up, or as a shelter that protected me? At that moment, my mind was split into two.

However, when I turned my gaze away and looked above, I saw something even more dazzling.

That's right. The warm light that had been illuminating this dark place came from up there.

“What kind of place is above?” I wondered to myself.

It was nothing more than a simple question, but it cleared the fog of doubt that surrounded me.

“I want to know what's out there!”

Right, I couldn’t stay here forever.

I have been blessed by this consciousness and freedom not to curl up in this place aimlessly, but to keep moving and go to even more beautiful places.

If I continued to stay there, then I would always be trapped in a dark shell without ever knowing anything. It would be no different than being trapped inside a shell.

Just like a veil of darkness obliterated after being swallowed by a beam of light, the doubts within me had completely disappeared.

Now, all that remains was the desire to unravel a bigger world full of hope and new things.

Using that as my drive, I picked up one of the egg fragments that I considered the largest.

I stared at it pitifully. I couldn't say that I didn't hate it for locking me in a long sleep endlessly. However, inside that dream, though never allowed to know anything, though never knew freedom or hope, I felt warm and protected.

As expected, I really couldn't leave it alone. I then decided to keep one of the fragments and bring it with me on my journey.

Holding the broken egg fragment, I flapped my wings and slowly flew away from the place I once thought of as home.

At first, the flutter I made wasn’t perfect at all. I lost my balance and almost fell. Pain also ran down through my body and wings, which were not used to it.

However, my will and desire to see a brighter world, made me able to constantly endure the pain. I used all the determination I had to fight anything that prevented me from leaving this place.

My suffering then began to pay off. The pain gradually subsided, and my wings were now able to fully support my body.

However, as if the suffering wasn’t enough to make up for this success, I was again, slapped by an even harsher reality.

The sight in front of me was beyond imaginable. If I had to describe, then what I saw has made the light of hope that shone within me, vanish instantly.

Maybe I couldn't see it when I was down there because the range was too close. However, from above here, I could see it.

From up here, not only I could see the shards of my shell. But down there, I could see thousands, if not millions of other eggs and shell fragments.

It was as if the place was created by a pile of eggs—whether it was the eggs that were still intact or the eggs that had been abandoned by its inhabitants leaving only their fragments. Even when the dark ambiance limited my vision, I could see how terrifying and ominous this ocean of eggs was.

The longer I stared at this countless pile of eggs, the stronger my assumption became that this place is bottomless. Trying to guess how enormous and deep this place was would only drive you insane.

To be treated to a sight like this when I gained freedom for the first time took my breath away. Then, a horrifying thought struck my mind. If this place was made of the same millions of eggs as mine, then just how many creatures like me lurking out there?

If I wasn‘t daydreaming, then what place have I been living in all this time?

All these thoughts simply led me to a single question,

"Where am I now?